March 12, 2012, 11:35 a.m.
Go Your Own Way
Go Your Own Way: Chapter 26
E - Words: 11,365 - Last Updated: Mar 12, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 28/28 - Created: Aug 05, 2011 - Updated: Mar 12, 2012 14,067 0 21 0 1
As Burt shut the door to Blaine's room behind him, he tried to keep Carole's last glance in mind. Tried to put the obvious warning and caution at the forefront of his mind as he led Cameron into the empty room next to Blaine's, but it was difficult. Everything about the man in front of him made him furious, and it took every ounce of his willpower to not curl his hands into fists and start swinging. But he knew he couldn't. Not right now, probably not ever. Burt wanted what was best for Blaine and that meant keeping his temper in check with the man who had control over Blaine's life.
As soon as the room's door was closed, Burt tried to come up with a civil way to start this conversation. Nothing came to mind, though, since he really had nothing pleasant to say to the bastard standing before him. Fortunately, Cameron seemed to be much better at this than he was. Not that Burt would ever admit it.
"You seem rather... fond of Blaine," Cameron observed. He eyed Burt appraisingly for a moment as he replied.
"Only an idiot wouldn't cherish that boy," Burt snapped, and he'd already lost his temper before, in Blaine's room. But now he was losing what little control he had managed to force himself to have of it once they'd left Blaine's room. Everything this man said made him grit his teeth and clench his fists. It was going to take a miracle for this to end without him hitting the other man.
"Your son seems to share the sentiment," Cameron sneered, and the emphasis he placed on son made Burt's blood boil hotter. Kurt was more of a man – a better man – than Cameron ever would be. It had taken Burt two seconds within coming face to face with Cameron for the first time to realize that.
"Don't you dare mock my son," Burt growled. "All three of my boys are perfect as they are. Blaine doesn't need to fit into your pitiful idea of what a real man is. He certainly didn't need you to become the man he already is."
"As if I would ever raise someone like him. My worthless son is responsible for that. Neither of them have ever fit into any of the places that they were supposed to fit into," Cameron shot back. " I have no use for the boy, and I don't care to waste my time figuring out another solution for him – "
"If you'd treated your grandson like a human being back in May you wouldn't need another solution!"
An uncomfortable silence followed Burt's echoing shout. They were both already breathing heavily, eyes glinting furiously in the other's direction. Nothing about this conversation was going how Burt wanted it to. He had tried to convince himself to be civil, or to use what little evidence of neglect and abandonment they had against Cameron, but in the heat of the moment he'd forgotten it all. The odds of any of it holding up against the other man's legal might was preposterous anyway. But as much as he wanted to keep Blaine safely with them to protect him, and as much as he'd told himself to be civil, he couldn't help his instinct to give the man responsible for all of this a piece of his mind.
"Blaine has proven time and time again how disruptive he is to my life with his choices," Cameron said evenly after a moment. "Stealing from stores, picking fights, breaking into auto shops to steal parts and sell them. Deciding to– to mess around with some boy who's as deluded as he is. It's one thing after another and I won't– "
"Love, " Burt corrected angrily. "He's in love with my boy. You can't help who you fall in love with, and he's as troublesome as he is because none of you have ever been there for him like he needed you to be."
"I don't have the time– "
"You should have made the time for him," Burt cut in. "Me and Carole have made all the time in the world for that boy. He's come so far in a few weeks after years of being ignored."
"Then he's your problem now," Cameron snapped. "I will not have him tainting my granddaughter."
"He's not a problem," Burt bit back. "He's one of the best things that's ever happened to my son and he's always welcome at my house."
"You'll take him?" Cameron asked, and there was faint hint of surprise in his voice. Perhaps he thought Burt wouldn't care enough, or wouldn't have the money, or wouldn't want to bring that kind of trouble into his home. But Burt knew better than that. Burt knew how much potential Blaine had, how big his heart was when he let himself acknowledge its existence. Cameron only saw something no longer worth his time or effort, and the fact that this man had ever had any part in Blaine's live disgusted Burt to no end.
"He practically lives there now, anyway," Burt told him, an accusatory note to his voice. "And you're right. He has no place in your life, and it's not because he can't fit into it. It's because you won't let him be the person he is. If you can't see how incredible that boy can be then you really don't deserve him."
"You'll change your mind when you see what a waste of time he is," Cameron said bitterly. "All that potential to be something great, and its wasted because he wants to be a f– "
Burt's fist slammed into the rolling table next to the bed, the metal ringing loudly from the smack of his knuckles against it. Cameron stopped mid word, staring down at Burt's clenched fist in alarm. It had taken all of Burt's strength not to hit the other man in the face, but he couldn't. Blaine came first right now, and hitting the other man would only bring more trouble for all of them, even if it would feel fantastic.
Cameron cleared his throat loftily and said, "I'll have all of his legal documents sent to you. Where should it be sent?"
The business- like tone made Burt sorely want to hit something again. Instead, he spit out his address as Cameron tapped it into his phone, glaring darkly after Cameron as they left the room. A few of the nurses, who had been whispering to each other at the nurse's station, stopped abruptly when they spotted them. It was ridiculously obvious they were talking about the shouts and slam they'd just heard. But Burt couldn't be bothered to care right now. Every ounce of his willpower was being directed at keeping his arms at his sides instead of reaching them up to circle around Cameron Anderson's neck and start choking the life out of him. That probably wasn't a great idea in a hospital with witnesses and resuscitating equipment.
Every ill wish and murderous thought left Burt's mind as he stepped back into Blaine's hospital room. It was a sharp contrast to see Blaine and his sister lying there together compared to the boy from a few days ago. Only the IV in his arm remained from the numerous tangles of tubes and wires, and he was sitting up, but the expression on his face made Burt's heart plummet once more. Lily was curled into his side, crying softly while Blaine's hand played with one of her braids and he murmured quietly against her forehead. Every word looked difficult and painful to say. His eye was shining with unshed tears and Burt had to look away after a moment. He couldn't stand to see Blaine's heart break like this after all that he'd heard about Blaine's past. First with his parents, then when he'd been locked away and then abandoned, and now this. He couldn't seem to catch a break.
Cameron hadn't mentioned whether or not Blaine would get to have any contact with Lily, but Burt thought his stance on the issue was fairly obvious This would be the last time they would see each other for years, maybe even decades, and there was no more Burt could do to prolong the two siblings saying goodbye to each other. All he could do now was be there for Blaine when he was ready to accept his help.
"Lily," Cameron scolded. "What did I tell you– "
"Why won't you let Blaine come with us?" she demanded, hiccupping and sitting up to glare at her grandfather. "I thought family was important! Blaine's my bro– "
"No," Cameron said sharply, stepping forward and hoisting her up into his arms even as she tried to fight against his hold. Blaine flinched as she was tugged from his bed, tears pooling in his eye as he kept his gaze firmly fixed on the ceiling despite Lily's wail of protest. Burt saw Kurt reach out to take his hand, but Blaine yanked it away and kept silent. A thrill of horror ran up Burt's spine at the empty look on Blaine's face, because there was nothing of the Blaine Anderson he knew in that gaze – not the anger or the cockiness or the love. The thought that they could all still lose Blaine now hadn't even crossed his mind. "He is not your family anymore."
"Yes, he is!" Lily screamed, struggling in his arms. "I want to see Blaine!"
"You will not being seeing him again, young lady," Cameron informed her. "Ever," he added with finality. "Blaine is a very sick, disturbed young man– "
"Then we just need to get him some medicine, Grandpa," Lily snapped fiercely. "And then we can take him home and be a family. God, for someone who thinks he's really smart you're really stupid somet– "
"That's enough!" Cameron bellowed, and even Burt jumped slightly at his tone. He couldn't stand to watch this. Didn't want to have Blaine suffer through having his sister ripped away from him again, but what the hell could he do? He didn't know the girl, had no legal say in any aspect of her life. He didn't even have that for Blaine. A part of him felt dead inside knowing that he was completely powerless from stopping what was transpiring right in front of Blaine's eyes.
"There is no cure for what he has," Cameron spat, shifting the struggling girl in his arms. "And if you don't stop crying you'll be in even more trouble when we get home. You're already not going trick- or- treating after this."
"God, how can you be so heartless?" Kurt demanded suddenly, and the fact that his son was standing up and looking like he might hit Cameron made Burt step towards him and place himself on his loved ones' side of the room.
Lily was still crying loudly in her grandfather's arms, blubbering Blaine's name over and over, as Cameron glared across the room at them. "There's no refunds on him. You've agreed to keep him and you'll do just that or dump him when you realize how much time and money you're wasting. He," he spat, glaring at Blaine, who had looked back down from the ceiling, but looked more humiliated than ever, "is not causing me, my wife, or our granddaughter any more problems."
"You're a fool," Burt said quietly, watching Blaine looked down at his lap. Whether he was angry or devastated or hurt by all of this, Burt wasn't sure. It was probably a horrible mixture of all three, and the thought of the fallout from this, how Blaine would react once this man and Lily were gone for good... He didn't even want to think about what sort of heartache was probably in store for them all.
"You're so lost in your prejudice that you've already given up on one of the best things that has ever happened to you." Burt paused and reached down to gently squeeze Blaine's foot where it was tenting the blankets. It was jerked away slightly, but the touch got the boy's attention and made him look up into Burt's eyes. What he had to say was more for Blaine than Cameron. Cameron wasn't worth the effort or time whereas Blaine was worth everything and more. "You're going to miss your grandson's entire life. College acceptance letters, graduations, his wedding day, your great- grandchildren. You're going to miss it all, and you know who Blaine won't be missing? You. Because he has us now, and we wouldn't trade him for anyone or anything. You don't deserve to have a boy as fantastic and sweet and selfless as Blaine for a grandson." Burt gestured to Lily still resting in Cameron's arms. "You don't deserve that sweet little girl either, and someday when she's older she'd going to leave you for her brother and she's not going to come back. Ever. The same way you never came back for Blaine."
Cameron's expression was stony when Burt turned away from Blaine's stunned face. There was a little trickle of hope in the boy's eyes from his words, though whether or not it would ever be enough to keep his heart open to all of them was anyone's guess.
"You'll have the documents within the week," Cameron said formally, hoisting Lily up higher into his arms and turning swiftly towards the door.
"No!" Lily sobbed, trying to twist and claw her way over his shoulder. "Blaine!"
A second later the door closed on her tearful, red face, giving them all a last haunting glance of her reaching out towards her brother. The silence in the room was interrupted by a few more stifled cries, and the image of that little girl being carried away down the hallway towards the elevator, kicking and screaming, settled heavily in Burt's mind as he turned back to Blaine's bed. And he knew nobody in the hospital would really think much of it either. It wasn't uncommon for young children to react that way to a loved one dying, and knowing Cameron he'd be conniving enough to realize that and use it to his advantage.
Burt turned back to Blaine, and the distress Blaine was feeling was painfully obvious to Burt for the next few seconds, and then what he'd expected to happen did. Kurt reached out to try and hold Blaine's hand again. Once more it was tugged away sharply. There was a bitterness in Blaine's gaze as he stared at some random point on the floor by Burt's shoes, and Burt knew not to push this. Could see the understanding mixed in with the agony on Kurt's face as he settled his hands back into his own lap.
All three of them knew Blaine's first instinct was to shut himself off and turn away. Kurt and Carole had both witnessed it first hand over the past few months, but Burt hadn't. And after how much he'd seen Blaine open up and seen just how warm and kind he could be it broke his heart to see. But Blaine needed time to process this, and then Burt hoped the boy would let Kurt back in at least, because Kurt was the doorway in for the rest of them now. No matter what happened, he wasn't going to let Blaine disappear on them.
"Don't, just, n- not now," Blaine muttered hoarsely, and even as Kurt nodded and acknowledged his words Blaine rolled his head to the side away from Kurt, pressing his good ear and eye into the pillow and blocking them and the rest of the world out.
Kurt's face was tearful at the movement, probably at the whole scene they'd just witnessed, but for now Burt knew he had to wait this out. To be patient and accept that Blaine was still going to struggle to let them in, may even try and shut them out for good again.
Carole stood up suddenly and wiped her eyes. "I should get home to be there for Finn when he gets back from school. My house has been sitting empty for days."
"I could use a shower," Burt added. "I'll make something for dinner, too."
Kurt stared up at them both, accepting Carole's kiss on the cheek and his father ruffling his hair.
"I'll be back in a few hours," Burt told him. "One of those fancy salads all right with you?"
Kurt nodded at him, glancing back at Blaine's silent form. Burt looked as well. It was really hard to be optimistic right now with Blaine looking so miserable, but he had to be.
"I'll see you in the morning, sweetheart," Carole whispered to Blaine, bending down and kissing his forehead. "I work at five, and Kurt and Burt will be here most of the night with you."
Burt nodded quickly at her words and gently brushed his hand through Blaine's curls. "Don't count us out yet, kiddo."
Blaine's lips trembled a little, but otherwise there was no acknowledgement of their farewell. Blaine had heard them, though. He was positive of it. Just that little movement made Burt certain their words had made it through the ringing ear at the very least. Burt only hoped Blaine would listen for once, would know that even if his own parents, grandparents, and the rest of the world had given up and tossed him aside, that they never would. Even if Kurt and Blaine didn't make it together forever, there would always be a warm welcome and acceptance for Blaine waiting in their house.
Carole grabbed his hand as they took another glance at the boys before leaving the room and heading to the elevator.
"Kurt will get him talking," Carole said certainly. "He won't let him shut himself off again."
Silently, Burt hoped she was right. It was part of the motive behind him offering his own reason to leave them alone for a few hours. Blaine had originally opened himself to Kurt, not him or Carole or Finn. Someday he hoped Blaine would be as open with himself as he was with his son, but until then he'd let Kurt bring the boy back from the darker places that Blaine locked himself away in.
"What happened with Cameron?" Carole asked when he didn't acknowledge her words.
As they rode down the elevator and left through the entrance Burt explained the rather short conversation and what little Carole hadn't already deduced from those final moments in Blaine's hospital room.
"You should have hit him," Carole said fiercely as they stopped by her car in the employee lot. She was breathing hard and looking angrier than Burt had seen her in a long time.
"I don't think that would have made him any more agreeable," Burt replied resignedly.
"It would have made me feel better," Carole grumbled. "If he comes back, I'll hit him myself."
"He's not," Burt said quietly. "Blaine never has to see him again. He's sending all of his legal documents to my house. I don't think I could get guardianship or anything, and Cameron probably wouldn't agree to it because then everyone will question him about it. As long as nothing like this happens again before next October, then he's just one of our boys."
"I'm rather fond of our boys," Carole said softly. She stepped into his arms, and gave him a little kiss, agreeing to call him later tonight once her and Finn had had dinner.
Burt waited until she was in her car and driving off before heading to his truck and driving home, trying to remember the different things Kurt always put into this fancy salad. As he pulled onto his street and neared his house he was surprised to see another truck pulled into Kurt's usual spot in the driveway. It took him a moment to remember who the old, beat up, navy truck belonged it, but the shout from the closed garage made it click. Puckerman was here. With Finn, he assumed, though he wouldn't be surprised to find the boy had broken into the house on his own. The fact that Puck was here at all seemed weird to him, but he remembered Kurt had mentioned him and Blaine getting along okay.
Burt made his way inside quickly, passing in front of the staircase and eyeing the mattress that had been Finn's last year, propped up against the railing. He didn't realize what the two of them were up to until he rounded the corner to the garage door and found them trying to haul the box spring for the bed through the door.
"Would you lift, Hudson?" Puck growled from the garage. The box spring was tilted towards Finn, who was struggling to fit into the tiny corner to haul it inside.
"I can't fit, dude," Finn argued. "This doesn't bend like the mattress did. Just shove it really hard or something."
Puck growled in annoyance and the box spring clattered back down to the tiled floor and jerked forward several feet as Puck slammed into it. "Why do I always get the shit jobs?" Puck demanded. "I swear, if this wasn't for Anderson– "
"Nice to know Blaine's got a few good friends around," Burt said loudly. The box spring was pushed forward another foot and then stopped as Finn spun around and Puck forced his head through the doorway.
"Burt!"
"Hey, Mr. H!"
"Afternoon, guys," Burt greeted, taking his hat off and hanging it on the hook next to the doorway. He turned to Finn. "Your mom's probably going to be calling you soon. She went to her house so she'd be there when you get home."
"Oh, okay," Finn said. "I was going to head home right after we got these into your office. You and Mom said you wanted to make that Blaine's room, right?"
"Yeah," Burt replied. "That's the plan."
We figured we'd get it set up since you can't lift anything because of your heart, and Mom can't do this on her own, and Kurt hates getting sweaty and gross," Finn said with a huge grin.
Burt eyed them both for a moment, sweaty and flushed, but looking happy at being useful and helping Blaine in some small way. It was rather amazing to him how much both of them seemed to care about Blaine. Considering the last he'd heard about Puck and Blaine had been Puck wanting to water board his son's boyfriend, he was definitely surprised. "Thanks for this. It's a great idea, guys." He dropped his eyes to the box spring and then looked at how they had it positioned. "If you move the dining room table you can just push it in without having to angle it like that."
Both boys' eyebrows rose in revelation as they looked to where he was pointing and then at the sharp angle they'd been trying to push the box spring in through. A few quiet laughs greeted his suggestion, and a few moments later the table had been moved to the side and the box spring was through the dining room and being carried down the hallway parallel to the stairs to the dark wooden door at the end.
Burt stood back and watched them arrange the box spring and then the mattress under the double wide window opposite the doorway. His office was rather small, but the side with his desk was lined with some shelves and drawers that would be perfect for Blaine's things. There was a lot of stuff he needed to clear out over the next few weeks to get it ready for Blaine, but for now it was exactly what the young man needed. Something of his own that was safe and a stable, reliable place to rest and focus on his studies in.
"Kurt can pick out all the bedding and decorations and stuff," Finn said, breathing heavily as him and Puck leaned back against the built- in drawers to catch their breath.
"He'll love doing it," Burt agreed. He had to stop himself from adding that it would give him something to do to take his mind off of everything going on right now. The grins and flushed looks of achievement on Finn and Puck's faces was too good to spoil.
"Are you gonna clear all this out?" Puck asked, gesturing to the shelves and drawers.
"Yeah, we've got a few weeks or so until he gets released," Burt told him, absentmindedly tugging open one of the top drawers and pulling a few things out. There were some old car manuals and lists of parts, a box of pens, some notepads, and–
"Who's that for?" Finn blurted, staring at the black velvet box in Burt's fist. Burt looked at it, too, his heart swelling slightly and his throat becoming tight. In the aftermath of his heart attack he'd nearly forgotten about the engagement ring he wanted to give to Carole. Everything had sort of been ruined when he'd ended up in a coma and then woken up to all the drama going on in their lives. He still hadn't thought up where, when, or how he was going to ask her.
He looked up at Finn's curious, almost hopeful expression, chancing a quick glance at Puck's raised eyebrow, before answering.
"It's an engagement ring," he told Finn. "With everything that's been going on with my heart attack and Blaine I'd forgotten about it."
"For my mom?" Finn stammered in surprise.
"No, idiot," Puck snapped sarcastically. "It's for Coach Beiste."
"Yes, it's for your mom," Burt cut in, glaring at Puck because he knew if Puck went on about that, Finn would probably believe him. He loved the kid to death, but sometimes he wasn't the brightest.
"Can... can I see it?" Finn asked quietly. Burt nodded, feeling almost nervous for some strange reason as he handed the little box to Finn. He knew Finn loved him, and they got along great together. All five of them did, but that didn't mean that Finn would be okay with them getting married if she said yes.
He watched Finn pop the box open and stare at the little sapphires and diamonds. As the box snapped closed again, Finn looked back up and smiled a little.
"She's gonna love it," he said softly, handing the box back. Burt pocketed it. "I don't think we're all gonna fit into your house now that we've got Blaine, too."
Burt laughed in relief at his words, because until right now he hadn't realized how much Finn's opinion on the matter meant to him. But he was glad he'd had this chance with him right now, even if Puck was rolling his eyes and making dopey kissy faces at them. He also knew Finn was right, and he had some vague memories from before his heart attack of thinking about them both selling their houses or adding an extension to his if Carole sold hers, but he hadn't formed any solid plans.
"I'm gonna head home before you two make me vomit," Puck said suddenly, making a beeline for the door. A few moments later they heard the front door open and then slam shut.
"You really wanna marry her?" Finn asked seriously.
"Absolutely," Burt said immediately. "I haven't felt this way since Kurt's mom died. We need to work out how our lives will fit together, but that's what makes it worth it. That's what makes the five of us together perfect, yanno? We've found something together that makes the rest of the world a little more bearable."
Finn nodded at his words and then stepped forward awkwardly and embraced him. Burt was slightly surprised because Finn had thus far reacted uncomfortably when it came to being affectionate towards another man, but he returned the hug gladly.
"You wanna help me pick Kurt's Navigator up, buddy? It's still sitting in that parking lot."
Finn readily agreed, stepping out of his arms quickly and clearing his throat loudly. They both shuffled off towards the door and Burt watched as Finn toed on his shoes and grabbed his jacket and Kurt's spare keys.
Nothing was really certain for Burt right now, but he knew the direction he wanted to take, knew he had to stay optimistic and keep looking to the future. Right now Blaine was going to struggle terribly, but Burt had to stay hopeful, because he could easily see the five of them happily sitting down to dinner on some random Friday evening next year when the boys were all seniors. He could even see himself and Carole dropping each of them off at their respective colleges a few years from now.
Burt's fingers closed over the little black box in his jacket pocket. For now he just had to focus on making sure Blaine could see that, too.
Kurt didn't sleep much the following week. Blaine's silence had him constantly on edge even though he'd regained a firm grip on his boyfriend's hand. He knew he needed to give Blaine space and time, had realized that even if Blaine had opened himself up a lot that he wasn't suddenly going to be a different person. At the same time, Blaine's reaction wasn't as drastic as after the break- in, but the more pessimistic part of himself put that down to Blaine's physical condition. There was no way Blaine would start shouting and getting angry and toss them from his room when he couldn't stay awake for more than a few hours at a time.
Part of him wondered what would happen once Blaine was strong enough to do that, because Kurt knew it was an instinct for Blaine, and the thought that he might get up and disappear at any moment worried Kurt more than anything else. So he held on tight for the rest of Monday night and then all of Tuesday, glad that his dad let him skip school again because he could barely sleep with how scared he was that he might lose Blaine.
The police returned Wednesday morning with some various legal documents for them to sign and to remove Blaine's ankle monitor. Most of the forms seemed to be for Blaine, regarding the device's removal and a few others about the terms of his original sentence and what it had been changed to thanks to his grandfather's legal expertise. As much as Kurt hated the man, he was certainly glad he'd involved himself enough to make sure they didn't get blamed for anything that had happened. It had definitely helped that the one man had ended up confessing to beating them. Kurt had been surprised to hear it, had even figured the police had pressured him like he'd seen on countless television shows, but according to Jim, the man had actually boasted to them when they'd asked. The thought made Kurt's blood boil, but there was also some relief. With a confession Blaine was safe, regardless of what he'd done while Kurt had been taking his test, though Kurt was pretty sure he already had the answer to that.
There were two forms that Kurt had to read over. One was a written out copy of his own statement on the attack, and another was attached to several photographs of men. Jim explained that they needed them both to identify the one man they'd caught the day after the attack, and since Blaine couldn't leave the hospital they'd taken pictures and brought them along. A quick flip through that ended at the third one was Kurt's only answer. He didn't need to look farther than the face of the actual man responsible for their hospitalization.
Blaine had been extremely sullen throughout most of the meeting, saying as little as possible and glaring at Kurt when he'd held Blaine's arm steady enough for him to sign things. Kurt really wished he hadn't needed to, because he was close enough to see Cameron's signature was already on the forms and just the sight of it made him want to kick the man in the face. His father had told him everything that had transpired the other day while Blaine had been asleep, and he wished more than anything that Cameron had never come back. That he hadn't brought Lily and made Blaine even more miserable and gotten him to shut off. Losing his sister once had to have been horrible enough for Blaine, but the second time was like another bat to the face.
However, at the mention of the ankle monitor's removal, Blaine's apathy had disappeared briefly and Kurt even managed to forget his worries as he watched them remove the horrid device. That rarely seen child-like wonder appeared in Blaine's eye for a few short moments as he rolled his ankle and wiggled it about, obviously relieved at having the extra weight gone. But then the surly look took over again as Jim and the other cop took Blaine's statement and then left.
The rest of the week followed a certain pattern. There were moments when Blaine seemed to be the Blaine Kurt had come to know, but most of the time he was shut off from all of them. He slowly let Kurt physically close like he had before, but he didn't talk much, and when he did it was almost always to answer someone's question. Kurt hated it, because it was almost as if Blaine was trying to lure him into a false sense of security and make him think things were fine when they all knew they weren't. Even Blaine's usual sass had vanished. His voice was dull and lifeless for the few hours he was awake, and then his sleep was filled with muffled groans and his sister's name.
Kurt knew Blaine was hurting over having that sweet little girl ripped from his life once more – knew that despite the fact that Blaine had only mentioned Lily once, and that his sister had been his entire world after his mother had died. Kurt had only seen them together for twenty minutes, but he could tell how strong their bond was. He only hoped his father had been right and she would someday reenter Blaine's life. The fact that it couldn't be now made Kurt's stomach ache because if Blaine could just have her around for a few hours a week, or even just a phone call, he wouldn't be shutting himself away – he wouldn't be thinking about leaving Kurt and the source of happiness he hoped he had been for Blaine.
His father and Finn tried to distract him over the weekend with buying a few things for Blaine's bedroom. Kurt had a little fun trying to find a good color for the bedding and a better lamp than the one covered in Mustangs that currently inhabited the room, but buying things for what would hopefully be Blaine's room just reminded him of his own worries. He didn't have the heart to say anything to his father, or to warn him that he very well might be wasting his money if Blaine left.
Kurt returned to school the following Monday. Between playing catch up with his classes and listening to the doctors' plans for Blaine's eye surgery every afternoon, time flew by. The swelling was down enough by Wednesday for them to operate, and Kurt found himself once again sitting in the hospital with Finn and his dad. Carole was on duty and passed by occasionally, but mostly it was the three of them sitting there for six long hours. The thought that everything wouldn't go as they were hoping was nerve-wracking. His stomach was flopping around inside him uselessly, making him feel sick and scared.
Doctor Burke had said the eye socket would be a simple fix, just two simple incisions, one along where the bone should be and another along the roof of Blaine's mouth so they could shift the bones back into their original position. There were no wires or anything like Kurt's shoulder had needed, fortunately, but the main nerve to Blaine's eye had been pinched by the broken bones. There was so much that could go wrong with something so delicate, and even the doctors weren't sure of the extent of the damage to the nerve yet. Kurt only knew moving the bone would be very difficult until it was separated from the nerve.
"He'll be all right," Burt muttered reassuringly as Finn continued to run through a long list of pirate movies he was going to watch with Blaine once he was out of the hospital. Kurt found it sweet in a very Finn- like way, and the continuous hum of Finn's voice next to him was somewhat soothing. He turned to meet his dad's gaze and nodded a little.
"I'm still worried," Kurt told him, though he didn't want to mention the reason for the majority of his concerns. Instead he changed the topic. "Are you going to make me go to school tomorrow?"
His father's green eyes stared carefully at him for a few moments. "I'm tempted to make you go," he said. "I was going to decide once Blaine was out and they'd said if they'll officially let him go sometime late tomorrow."
Kurt bit his lip to stop the whiny words trying to claw their way out of his mouth. He just wanted to be by Blaine's side every second of the day until everything was clear and he was back at home with them. Until Blaine finally decided to talk to him again the way he had before. If he decided to let him in. Kurt hoped he would, because he'd come so far and to just run from it all was like letting his grandfather and those homophobic men take everything good from him and win. It meant breaking both of their hearts and making their lives more miserable than they had been before the beginning of September.
Just as he was planning to cut off Finn's tirade about all of his pirate movies, Doctor Burke appeared down the hall, still in her scrubs, looking tired, but satisfied.
"How is he?" Burt asked before Kurt could swallow his nerves and get the words out. Even Finn stopped talking to listen.
"He's doing great," she informed them happily. "They should be rolling him back into his room in another ten minutes or so. His eye socket was easy to shift and as long as he doesn't press at it a lot or take any more hits he'll be fine. I'm still worried about his eye. The nerve wasn't as badly damaged as I'd been prepared for, but it's still not great. He may lose some movement in the eye, but it's going to depend on how it heals from this point forward. I did what I could for now."
They all thanked her profusely and Burt tugged Kurt into a tight hug, being careful not to bump his arm too much, and pressed a kiss to his hair as Finn whooped a few times. "I know you're scared, bud, but that boy loves you so much. He might be an idiot sometimes, but even he's not going to give this up. I don't care how scared he is."
He didn't question how his father had known exactly what was worrying him so much, barely managed to choke out a response because of how tight his throat had just become. But Burt understood his silence. His father understood him in ways almost nobody else did.
As Kurt stepped out of his father's arms and wiped his eyes, Burt turned to Finn.
"So when are you planning on forcing Blaine to watch all of these movies with you?" Burt asked him.
"I'm not forcing him! He's totally gonna dig all of those movies!" Finn defended as Burt shook him by the shoulder teasingly. Finn glared a little at Burt and then answered. "He'll probably be too tired this weekend if he's back by then, so I dunno... next Friday maybe? I've got too much going on during the week."
"Friday?" Burt echoed looking thoughtful. The next part was muttered to himself, but Kurt and Finn still caught the words. "That might work if Carole doesn't work... "
"What might work?" Kurt asked suspiciously.
Finn looked confused and then ecstatic. "You're gonna ask her on Friday?"
"Ask what?" Kurt demanded, because he was thinking of a million different possibilities and nothing the two of them had plotted together would amount to anything good. He'd probably wake up to a football field in the living room.
The smile on Burt's face dropped a little at his question, and he turned to Kurt, looking slightly apprehensive. "I'm planning on... proposing to Carole soon."
"Oh," Kurt blurted in surprise. He stared at his father's nervous look. Of all the possibilities that had been running through his mind that had definitely been the very last one. It was hard to imagine something so happy and great happening after how bad things had been these past few weeks, but here it was. His father was presenting all of them with a future path. Something to plan for and look forward to that didn't bog them down in the past, and the fact that Carole and Finn would actually be legal family was definitely a bonus.
"Is that a good 'oh'?" Burt asked him. "Or are you gonna take away my toast and jam again?"
"It's– just– I can't believe you're going to– I better get to plan the wedding," Kurt finally managed to say.
"Like I'd ask anyone else," Burt told him with a bright smile.
Their conversation ended there because Blaine, still unconscious and his face wrapped in even more bandages, was rolled past them and back into his room. The three of them followed him inside, and even though there was still a pit of dread bubbling up in Kurt's stomach at what the future might hold for him and Blaine, it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been before.
Blaine woke up incredibly groggy not longer after that. One of the nurses sitting with them managed to get a cup of water into him for the twenty minutes that he was awake, but by the time Carole arrived he was sound asleep once more. Most of the night Blaine slept, waking randomly for ten or fifteen minutes, to mumble a few slurred words before he fell asleep once more. Doctor Burke returned and said things looked good for now and he should be able to go home late Thursday evening, barring any complications that could arise overnight.
Burt forced him and Finn to head home around eleven, and it was only his father's decision to let him stay home the following day that made Kurt part from Blaine's bedside. Finn had protested at that and demanded his own day off, but Burt had firmly told him to take it up with his mother. They'd left a pouting Finn at Carole's house, and headed home.
The night was extremely restless for Kurt once he had the silence of his bedroom around him. His shoulder was tingling with pain, and he felt horribly cold without Blaine's body heat against him. Just the thought of Blaine still made a thrill of worry shoot up his spine. It was the memory of Blaine's love that finally lulled him to sleep around dawn.
Thursday was another blur for Kurt, filled with countless doctors and forms his father had to sign. There were prescriptions and packets of papers for how to care for Blaine's various injuries and what to do if certain things happen. Kurt was exhausted just from watching everything happen around him, and Blaine was being asked so many questions from the doctors checking up on him that he didn't have much chance to even talk to the other boy.
By five o'clock, Doctor Burke was running through one more check up and telling Blaine about various pains he might experience as he healed and which ones to look out for and when he should be back for them to check on his eye and ribs and the sutures from his appendix being taken out. Blaine nodded his way through most of it, looking drowsy and exhausted when he hadn't done more than lay in bed. Over the past few days before his eye surgery they'd started to let him walk a little, but he would still need a wheelchair until he was stronger.
Finn, much to Carole's worry, took charge of Blaine's wheelchair, barreling down the halls toward the elevator. She looked like she wanted to scold him once they caught up, but the little weak smile on Blaine's face made her stop. At least Kurt thought that was the reason. Even he smiled a little as Finn raced out into the parking lot and attempted to hoist Blaine into the backseat. Kurt was quick to race over and swat Finn's hands away because he knew Blaine would hate being carried into the car.
"Here," Kurt said gently, letting Blaine grip his left hand tightly as Burt helped him rise out of the wheelchair and slide into the seat from his right side. As soon as the door was shut Kurt glared at Finn. "Don't carry my boyfriend."
"But– "
"Finn," Carole said quietly. "You know how Blaine is. Let him do things on his own, or help him to do it, okay?"
"Fine, I just wanted to help," Finn told them.
"We know, but Blaine's very... he's very weak right now, and anyone trying to do that for him is going to make him feel worse," Carole answered. "And picking him up might hurt his ribs."
"Sorry," Finn said sheepishly. "I didn't think about his ribs... he just doesn't act like he's hurting really badly so I forgot."
Kurt nodded and circled around to the other side, hopping in and sliding into the middle seat. Blaine stared blankly at him as he reached across and buckled him into the seat. Finn helped him with his own seatbelt as Carole and Burt hopped into the front seats and then drove home. It was a struggle to get Blaine into the house because the wheelchair wouldn't make it up the front steps and Blaine had fallen asleep on Kurt's shoulder on the ride over. After some gentle coaxing Kurt had him awake and Finn helped him out and steadied him for the walk inside and straight down the hall to his room.
Kurt was slightly surprised by how involved Finn was trying to be, but he knew of the four of them he was the most able to help Blaine. Burt was still technically recovering from his heart attack, Kurt couldn't take much weight because of his own shoulder, and Carole was smaller than Blaine and right now he was mostly dead weight.
Kurt went first, opening the bedroom door and holding it as Finn practically dragged Blaine inside and helped him sit down on the edge of the bed. His heart twisted a little at how adorable Blaine looked when he was so sleepy and exhausted. He took a seat next to Blaine to hold him up as Finn tugged his shoes off while Carole pulled his blankets down and they moved him until he was under the covers on his back. Kurt was positive Blaine had been asleep since they'd entered the house, but he settled down next to Blaine, letting his good shoulder press up against Blaine's right.
"We'll come get you for dinner," Carole said, setting Blaine's papers on the little table next to the bed. "I'm going to go get his prescriptions filled."
"If you need anything just shout or text me or Finn," Burt added, watching them for a moment.
Kurt waved them from the room, snuggling in closer to Blaine and turning to watch the other boy sleep. There was a dark circle around the eye he could see, and a long thin bandage wrapped around his head to hold all the gauze in place over his injured eye. His face was no longer swollen, but there was still evidence of bruising and his nose was still healing from being broken. He watched Blaine's dark lashes flutter for a few moments, feeling his throat grow tight at all the worry and fear he was holding inside.
He'd been terrified of saying goodbye if the attack had ended in Blaine dying, but somehow the thought of Blaine making the decision to actively leave and break his heart to save his own was worse. Blaine's head tilted to the side towards him, nuzzling against where their shoulders were touching. The part of Blaine's brow that was visible scrunched up and he let out a little grunt followed by a few murmured words.
Kurt didn't have to clearly hear them to know what was said. Lily. Mamma. Even Daddy. The same things he'd been hearing Blaine whisper in his sleep for the past week. Because he knew Lily's brief time with him had been the catalyst for all of this. That regardless of how much Blaine loved him, she had reminded him of the reason he'd shut himself off in the first place, brought all of those feelings back and made him realize what him and Kurt had could very well end the same way. That Kurt's name could end up being another one to add to his list of lost loved ones.
"He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right, it just ain't right"
It didn't even register in Kurt's mind that he was singing slowly, his voice shaky and cracking, until Blaine hummed softly and shifted closer. But it was a song he'd been listening to a lot since he'd met Blaine, really met him and not the boy from his first day of school. Some part of his voice seemed to be soothing to Blaine while he slept, because even through his stuttering words, Kurt could hear the content sigh he let out.
"Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster"
Blaine hummed softly once more, and Kurt leaned in and pecked him on the lips, letting his head rest against Blaine's as he shifted a little so that he could wipe his eyes and nose. He was so close to Blaine's face he could feel his own warm breath rebounding back against his lips.
"You're worth it," Kurt murmured as he relaxed against Blaine's warmth. "I hope you realize it."
The next thing Kurt knew Carole was waking him up, a plate of food and a drink on the desk against the right wall. Kurt turned to wake Blaine up as well, but Carole stopped him.
"Just let him sleep, Kurt," Carole said quietly, helping him up and into the desk chair. "The poor boy's exhausted. I'll leave him something to drink with you tonight, but I doubt he'll wake up until morning, if then."
Kurt nodded sleepily, swallowing a huge yawn as Carole handed him his plate and a fork. For the first time in weeks they sat there and gossiped and talked about clothes and hair styles and whatever else came to mind. Compared to how serious their conversations had been for weeks it was a nice change, the only problem Kurt had with it was trying to remember not to mention Burt's plan to propose. More than once he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from asking about wedding plans and a dress and flowers and everything.
It was late when she finally helped him back into bed and left to go to her own home with Finn. Blaine hadn't moved from his original position at all and Kurt could tell he was in a very deep sleep because he didn't even grunt when Kurt shifted around and settled down next to him.
He woke up late the next morning. Blaine was still asleep, drooling slightly and snoring a little. Kurt figured it was because of Blaine's broken nose because he'd never heard Blaine snore before. His father was in the kitchen when he entered and together they made a late breakfast, making some extra for Blaine once he woke up. Only Blaine didn't wake up before the food got cold. Carole came over a little after noon, and when Kurt told her Blaine was still sleeping she sighed heavily and had him follow her down the hall to Blaine's room.
"I hate waking him up, but if he sleeps too much it's going to make him even more tired," Carole told him as she opened the door.
Kurt was alarmed to see Blaine had rolled onto his right side and was clutching the pillow he'd been using. He looked to Carole to gauge her reaction, and while she looked a little surprised she didn't seem worried.
"He's very fond of anything that smells like you," Carole informed him, dropping onto the edge of the bed and bending in close to listen to his breathing.
"That's not going to hurt him more, is it?"
"No. His breathing sounds fine, and the ribs on that side are only bruised," Carole said. "It's definitely not the best position for him to sleep in, but if it's not hurting him then that's a good sign he's healing well."
Kurt sucked in a sharp breath and watched as Carole rolled Blaine gently onto his back and tried to force him awake. Blaine grumbled and groaned in protest, even attempted to roll back onto his side, but Carole prevented him and he cracked his good eye open to see who was interrupting his sleep.
"Go 'way," Blaine grumbled. " 'm s'eepin'."
"You're kind of adorable," Kurt said before he could stop himself. He felt his face heat up a little at his own words as he dropped onto the mattress opposite of Carole. Blaine turned his blurry eye over to him and a ghost of a smile pulled back his lips for a moment. "Come on, sit up," Kurt encouraged. "It's almost two in the afternoon. I know you're hungry."
It took both of them to help Blaine sit up, his torso trembling terribly from the effort. He winced when he was finally sitting up all the way, no doubt from the slight strain the movement placed on his ribs. Carole started to rub some soothing circles along his back and Kurt moved in to peck him on the cheek.
"You've been asleep for, like, eighteen hours," Kurt murmured. "What do you want to eat?"
"I want a shower first," Blaine said with a grimace. "I smell like rotten ass and those old lady nurses who kept trying to give me sponge baths."
"A shower's probably not the best idea, Blaine," Carole told him. "You're still really tired and you don't want anything getting into your eye."
"But I smell– "
"A bath would be fine though," Carole continued. "Someone's going to have to help wash your hair to make sure you don't get anything in your eye. Your sutures should be fine."
She reached down carefully and lifted Blaine's pajama top a bit to see were the bandage was and pull it off. "Most of them have already dissolved by now," Carole observed. "Just take the bandage off and the wraps around your ribs, okay? I'll go start making something for you and Finn. He'll be home soon and he's always hungry. Do you think you could be able to make your way to the bathroom?"
Blaine nodded jerkily in response and Kurt watched Carole leave as Blaine crinkled his nose and mouthed, "A bath?" as if it was the most absurd thing he had ever heard of. Kurt giggled a little at the look on his face and helped him to his feet, which was surprisingly easier now that Blaine was more awake. There was only one bathtub in the house. It was upstairs in the master bathroom, and was big enough that it would be ease to help Blaine in and out of it.
Blaine grumbled the entire way upstairs, and Kurt just rolled his eyes as they stepped into his father's room and then into the master bathroom. He started running a bath as Blaine tried to get his shirt off, but Kurt ended up having to help him with it and then his socks, pants, and bandages. The frown on Blaine's face was enough reason for Kurt to feel bad about how much he was helping Blaine, but he also knew without his help Blaine would end up hurting himself more. Right now he could barely see straight with only one eye. Walking around or doing anything was extremely difficult.
With some reluctance, Blaine let Kurt support some of his weight to help him step into the tub. Getting him seated was much harder than Kurt had expected it to be, but after several difficult minutes Blaine was relaxing against the sloped side of the tub, waving his hands back and forth along the surface of the water.
Kurt moved over to the cabinet under the sink, pulling the little doors open and digging inside until he found the bottle he was looking for. It had been a long time since he'd taken a nice, long, hot bath, but he knew the one part he enjoyed the most was adding bubble bath. Blaine's eye was closed when he moved back to the tub, closing the toilet lid and sitting down to pour the bubble bath into the running water gushing from the faucet.
The scent of the bubble bath spreading around the room was instant. Blaine perked up a little, opening his eye and then looking ridiculously horrified by the bubbly suds starting to form on the top of the water all around him.
"What are you doing?" Blaine demanded hoarsely, trying to shift away from the bubbles.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Kurt retorted, continuing to pour the bubble bath soap in.
"I'm going to smell like a frilly old woman," Blaine snarled, glaring suspiciously at the suds as though they might start eating him alive.
"You will not," Kurt said crossly. "This is my bubble bath. You'll smell like me, and it's very good for your skin."
"It– well, you're just– I don't– "
Kurt slid off the seat and kneeled down next to Blaine, leaning in for a slow, lazy kiss. Even though he knew Blaine was a little annoyed and not completely sure of the suds forming around him, the other boy still smiled a little against his lips. It gave him hope that maybe Blaine wouldn't end up doing what he thought Blaine would do once he healed.
"Would giving you my old rubber ducky to play with help?"Kurt murmured slyly, a teasing grin pulling back his lips.
Blaine turned his glare onto him and pouted. Kurt's heart thumped almost painfully in his chest, because, god, he was so adorable like this. So beautiful and fantastic when he just let himself be Blaine.
"Maybe," Blaine muttered petulantly.
Kurt giggled a little at his boyfriend's pout, and moved to go dig the rubber duck out from under the sink. But Blaine's wet, warm hand reached out and caught his left hand to hold him in place.
"Actually," Blaine said thoughtfully. "I'd much rather have the rubber duck's owner join me."
"I don't think my dad wants to take a bath with you, Blaine," Kurt deadpanned. Even though he knew exactly what Blaine meant, it was worth it to see the way Blaine blanched at his words. "After all, he's the one who bought it. So I suppose it's technically his– "
"Kurt," Blaine practically whined. "Please."
Kurt stared into the other boy's pleading eyes for a moment. While he figured Blaine would try something sexual even though neither of them were really capable of much, he could also see the sincerity in his eyes. He wanted Kurt wrapped around him in the warmth and perfumed foam for the comfort. The fact that Blaine was reaching out to him was reason enough for him in the end.
"Okay," Kurt replied, climbing to his feet and then sitting back down on the toilet to take his socks off. His shirt was a terrible struggle and he knew he had to remove his arm sling, but it was very difficult to keep his arm stiff when he was trying to remove his button- up and then his pants and boxer- briefs. Finally, he managed it after several minutes of struggling, but then came the part he hadn't really thought about. Where was he going to sit? Moving Blaine would be hard, but he couldn't lean back against Blaine either because of his ribs.
Blaine reached out to the faucet and shut it off, using his grip on it to help himself sit up. He winced a little, but jerked his head to the open space behind him. Still uncertain about how this was going to work, Kurt stepped into the tub and carefully settled down behind Blaine, keeping his torso very straight and his right arm bent and unmoving. Blaine had turned to watch him, slowly sunk down further between his legs as he shifted to the left to rest his head and shoulders back against Kurt's stomach and the left side of his chest. The position gave Kurt something to rest his injured arm on. He let his right hand and forearm press into Blaine's shoulder as his left arm slid around Blaine's chest. Finally, Kurt let his cheek drop onto Blaine's wet curls.
"Mmm," Blaine hummed. "You're much better than some plastic duck."
"I better be," Kurt said, attempting to sound offended. "Sitting in some dark cabinet for years has probably ruined that duck's skin tone and texture, while I'm still– "
"Soft and beautiful," Blaine finished, taking hold of Kurt's left hand and lacing the fingers of his right hand through them.
After that they didn't talk for a long time. Kurt let himself doze off a little and enjoy the feeling of Blaine's solid, warm body pressed against his. Listened to the soft, content little sighs that Blaine let out every so often. And somehow, even without Blaine saying a word about what he was thinking or had been thinking since Lily had returned and then been pulled from his life again, Kurt could feel that things between them were going to be all right. The intimacy and sweetness of what they were sharing right now wasn't something Blaine would do if he was closing himself off still.
Eventually Blaine started to shift a little, and something in his mood had obviously changed. Kurt hoped maybe the other boy would finally let him back in completely, that they could clear this tension between them and that Blaine wouldn't listen to his first instinct and still run once he had the chance. He hoped the obvious change in Blaine's demeanor didn't mean he'd realized he was opening back up when he didn't want to.
Kurt shifted a little as Blaine did, and bent his head down to suck lightly on Blaine's shoulder. Blaine gasped softly, his left hand that had been submerged in the water finding Kurt's thigh and squeezing it.
"I'm here when you want to talk, baby," Kurt murmured softly, moving his lips to kiss at the curve of Blaine's neck.
Blaine sighed once more, but the undertone to the sound was no longer content or happy. He sounded resigned to something, some decision he'd come to over the past few days, and the thought that maybe Kurt was wrong and Blaine wasn't going to stay came surging back and threatened to engulf him completely. But he tried to stay calm, tried to wait until he knew what he was dealing with before he reacted to Blaine's words. Kurt wrapped his arm a little tighter around Blaine's body, and waited. By now he knew that it took Blaine time to figure things out, to figure out how much he was willing to say, or even if he wanted to say anything at all.
"I... you're more than my boyfriend, you know. You're my best friend," Blaine said honestly after a few moments of silence. "I don't even know when it happened, but I feel like I could tell you anything. I... I want to tell you everything. Until I met you I never had that," Blaine shifted out of his arms, gripping the side of the tub and pulling himself into a sitting position so that he could turn and face Kurt. "It scares me. Everything about you scares me sometimes. How much you mean to me, and how much I love you terrifies me. And I... " Blaine paused for a long time, and Kurt waited again, listening to the steady drip of water from the faucet.
He'd been able to figure out most of what Blaine had just told him on his own, but actually hearing Blaine say it was different – made it more solid and real even if he'd known it for weeks now. It meant that his fears had only been fears because Blaine was right here with him, opening up once more and letting him love him. The boy he'd struggled so hard to find and keep wasn't giving up on himself or them.
"I thought about running," Blaine continued. "Right after I saw L– my s- sister." Blaine stared down at his hands, moving them slowly through some of the foam for a moment before he whispered his next words. "What if you break my heart the same way she did? The same way all of them did? Only it'd be worse, because you'd be making the choice to leave or hurt me... Lily didn't have that choice."
As Blaine fell silent again, Kurt opened his mouth to speak, to say any of the dozen things he'd planned to say to convince Blaine to stay and not shut himself off again, but he didn't have to. Blaine was letting him back in, finally telling him how he'd been feeling since he'd seen his sister again. It was both relieving and painful for Kurt to listen to him, to see that sunken, agonized look in Blaine's eyes when he mentioned her. He had nothing prepared for this.
"She didn't break your heart," Kurt said quietly. "The whole situation did. It broke my heart just watch you both have to go through that again. I wish there was something to do... some way to change it, but..."
Kurt trailed off sadly and then reached out for Blaine's hand, using his legs to pull Blaine closer until the other boy shifted back into his original position. His lips grazed against Blaine's jaw line as he nuzzled against Blaine gently.
"Do you remember when I said I was yours forever?" Kurt asked him.
"Yeah," Blaine replied with a shaky little laugh. "It scared the shit out of me."
"I meant it," Kurt told him. "For as long as we both want this, want us, then I'm yours. I hope that's forever, but... I can't guarantee that. I can't promise things won't change between us someday. One day you might not be in love with me anymore, or I might not be in love with you."
"I know that," Blaine acknowledged. "It took me some time to realize it. As worried as I am about you breaking my heart like they did, I'm even more scared of not having you with me, even if it's not forever. For now this is all I want," Blaine said sincerely, turning his head to kiss Kurt on the cheek. "Maybe someday I won't or you won't, but for a while we have each other this way, and I'm going to enjoy it and hold on to being the happiest I've ever been."
"You've made me the happiest I've ever been, too," Kurt murmured happily. He pulled Blaine into another kiss, enjoying the feeling of having Blaine wrapped up in his arms, safe, warm, and content.
The maturity of Blaine's words just now surprised him, but Blaine had grown quite a lot since the beginning of September. He could still be crude or perverted or over the top, but he was one of the sweetest boy's Kurt could ever remember knowing. They'd both changed for the better in small and even big ways, and maybe things would change between them at some point, but no matter what, he knew he'd always love Blaine. They would always be close and care for one another even if what they shared now didn't last forever.
Kurt hoped it would, because he still wanted to be Blaine's forever, and regardless of how their future progressed he honestly didn't see that ever changing. He couldn't imagine his life without the other boy anymore, and he hoped he never had to.
Comments
It's lovely Zane. Thank you for writing this...oh and I really really want to kill cameron.
This was the best chapter yet. So worth the wait
Fantastic chapter. I'm amazed at the way you write their relationship. I really hope they continues to share their feelings.
Oh Zane, that was beautiful.
LOVE. I am so gonna miss this story. I can't wait to see how it plays out.
Wow. I'm speechless. This Chapter was AMAZING. Ohhhhh the ending was perfect! I'm so happy! Amazing AMAZING AMAZING!! I'm going to miss this story when it's over. :( But I guess I can read it again :) Thanks for Writing this! It's made me life a little brighter.
holy shit this is so good im sobbing help me
Ah! Once again, this is so amazing. This story is simply breathtaking and I never want it to end, even though I know it has to. Thank you for this, I can't wait to read the rest.
Started reading this chapter with Kelly Clarkson and ended with Lana Del Ray - Video Games. It was kinda perfect for the bath scene. God, this is perfect! I can't wait for the last chapter and at the same time I really don't want this to end. You're amazing, Zane. Thank you
Just AMAZING ! Can't wait for the next part. Thanks for writing this awesome story .
You should do a sequel to this, or a future fic of it or something!!!
I absolutely loved this!!!! You should do a second one about their lives as seniors together or something:) also you should really try to work in blaine singing "not alone" by darren criss to kurt in the next chapter
This is the first time I cried in this story, and it was perfect.Awesome, awesome job :)
Wow, just... wow Loved it can't wait for the update... sad that it's almost over :(
Another stunning chapter! I love this story so much!!
Aw, this last scene was beautiful. So sweet and tender. I can't wait till the next chapter, but in the meantime, this was a very satisfying chapter. Your writing skills impress me every time I read this. =)
I am loving this TOO much, dear god, just.. Yes, lovely and perfect and you're so talented and amazing and THANK YOU.
Thank you so much for the update... !!! Can't wait for the next one!
loved it!!! another song you should try to use is perfect two. heres the link:)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEsPloHpKJU&feature=channel_video_title
Love the chapter! Love it! Youa are just a amazing writer did you know that? Update soon!!
Argh! Why couldn't Kurt have slipped Lily his email address? She's a smart girl -she could havr contacted her brother. Sigh. But this is my fvaorite fan fiction Kurt Blaine story of all. Thanks for writing it.