March 12, 2012, 11:35 a.m.
Go Your Own Way
Go Your Own Way: Chapter 25
E - Words: 13,728 - Last Updated: Mar 12, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 28/28 - Created: Aug 05, 2011 - Updated: Mar 12, 2012 15,962 0 29 0 1
The first thing Kurt became aware of was a hand clutching his left hand tightly, and a thumb brushing back and forth over his knuckles. His mind felt numb and his shoulder was still throbbing dully as he attempted to crack his eyes open.
"I think he's waking up... Kurt? Buddy, can you hear me?"
His dad was here, then. Kurt groaned a little in acknowledgement and finally managed to open his eyes some. Even the effort of getting them open a centimeter was too much. He wasn't sure why he was so tired, or why he felt like someone had filled every inch of his body with wet cement, but a second, softer hand brushed his hair off his forehead. A whiff of vanilla and cherry hit his nostrils. Carole was here, too.
"Open your eyes for us, Kurt."
That voice was unfamiliar to him. It was a woman's voice, but definitely too high and crisp to be Carole. Carole repeated the words the woman had just said, and his curiosity pushed him on. After a few moments of struggling, he blinked slowly and looked around. Everything was blurry at the edges of his vision, but after a few more blinks, things began to come into focus and with the clarity came the much sharper spikes of pain prickling under the skin over his collarbone.
"Ouch," he moaned faintly.
"Hey," Burt said softly and Kurt looked up to see his father's relieved face swim into view.
"Dad," he croaked. "Wus goin' on?"
"Doctor Burke's here to wrap your shoulder and check it out," Burt explained as he helped Kurt into a sitting position.
At his father's words, Kurt glanced down and the sight of his arm in a sling – the bruises across his collarbone – made everything come flooding back. The shockwave of fear that had pulsed inside his chest, the frantic rush to his car, the shattering of glass against bone, and then the high, piercing ping of the aluminium bats against Blaine's body. His boyfriend's bloody face flashed through his mind and he was suddenly wide awake and terrified.
"Where's Blaine?" he demanded, moving to swing his legs over the side of the bed, but they hit his father in the chest and were pushed back to their previous position.
"Relax, Kurt, he's going to be fine," Burt rushed to reassure him. "He's resting right now."
"But where– "
"He's right over there," Burt told him, pointing across Kurt's chest to the far side of the room. Kurt followed his father's arm and saw a second hospital bed set up about six feet away from his own. His heart jolted in his chest at the sight of Blaine's dark curls and the bandages wrapped around his head, ear, and eye. The rest of him was covered by a hospital gown and blankets, but just the sight of him, and the steady blip of his heart monitor gave him some peace. Blaine was here with him, was still living and breathing and loving him. He was going to be all right. He had to be.
"We'll let you get up and sit with him after you let Doctor Burke look at your shoulder, okay, buddy?" Burt swept back the hair that had fallen back into his eyes and kissed his forehead. The gesture made Kurt choke up a little. It had been years since his father had done something like that. It wasn't that they weren't close now. It was just something he'd stopped doing once Kurt had hit middle school and starting branching out on his own.
Kurt nodded, his eyes still focused on Blaine across the room, as the second woman, Doctor Burke, introduced herself and asked to look at his shoulder. His lack of response made his father poke him in the cheek and he was forced to look away from Blaine to focus on the doctor's questions.
"First, we need to make sure none of your nerves were damaged by your bone fracturing. I'm going to press in on a few different areas and I need you to tell me if you can feel it, okay, Kurt?"
Kurt nodded a little and looked down and to the right to watch as she pressed a finger gently into his skin. She was very thorough, making his father help him sit up so that she could press at spots along the back of his shoulder. He was relieved that he could feel all of it, until she moved back to his collarbone and brushed a finger over the knot that had formed over the break.
A sharp hiss of pain whistled out between his teeth.
"Sorry," she apologized. "You've got a broken blood vessel on the underside of the bone. They hit you from above and over the shoulder?" she asked, moving in closer to examine the spot.
Kurt squirmed a little under her gaze, and muttered, "Yeah, with a bat."
Doctor Burke hummed softly at his words and moved over to the table next to the bed. She picked up a big envelope that Kurt hadn't noticed before and opened it, holding the x-ray up to the lights so that he could see. "It's a clean break, fortunately, though this bone end," she pointed to the bone piece closer to his actual shoulder, "has shifted quite a few inches out of place. The best option," she said, turning to look at them all. "Is going to be a simple out- patient surgery. Nothing extravagant. We can even do it later tonight once Doctor Fuller comes in. He's the best at this one."
"S- surgery?" Kurt echoed in terror. "But it's just a broken bone– "
"It's a very simple procedure, Kurt," Carole cut in gently. "I've helped with them a hundred times before. The sooner they do it, the sooner it can start to heal properly."
"It'll be all right, buddy," Burt agreed. "I had the same thing back in my football days. It's why I never made it past high school leagues."
Kurt snorted lightly, then swallowed thickly and nodded. "Okay, what exactly are you going to do?
For the next ten minutes, Doctor Burke explained the procedure and the timeframe for his healing and the physical therapy he would need after. The only thing Kurt wasn't okay with was leaving the plates and screws in after it was healed. He understood the necessity to use them to hold his bone in place to heal properly, but he did not want it setting off metal detectors for the rest of his life. Doctor Burke actually agreed to his decision, and told him they would still need to stay for several months after everything was healed so that his shoulder could regain mobility and strength.
All in all he thought he'd gotten off fairly easy. Six to eight weeks in a sling with his shoulder wrapped up tight, a month of physical therapy depending on how he progressed, and then a second surgery to remove the hardware once everything was healed. He'd be left with a small scar under the break and nothing more But from what his dad and Carole explained after Doctor Burke left to set up his procedure, Blaine would have a lot more to mark the encounter on his body for the rest of his life. There were some parts of his condition even Doctor Burke wasn't certain about at this point, mainly his eye and potential brain trauma. As they helped Kurt out of his bed and to Blaine's bedside, Carole and Burt cautioned him about how bad Blaine looked right now.
But their words didn't prepare Kurt for what he saw. His vision blurred as he finally got his first real glimpse of Blaine's swollen and bruised face. Somehow the result of what he'd been subjected to watching was even worse than the flashes of the attack that were going through his mind. The image of Blaine's bloody face pressed up against his window, his trembling breaths fogging up the window as the bat whistled through the air–
"Woah!" Burt said in alarm as he swayed a little and started to tear up. Kurt felt his father help him into the chair next to them, but he couldn't understand half of the words whispered to him soothingly. He should have done more to help Blaine, to get out of the car or not let him go back for the keys. Should have made Blaine wait around for him after school so they could go home together instead of to that wretched apartment. Anything that would have reversed this situation or protected them both until the cops had come by.
Both Carole and his father leaned down next to his chair and hugged him tightly until his sobs subsided. When he was calm enough they slowly explained each of Blaine's injuries and how he probably wouldn't wake up until sometime late tomorrow. But the more they said the heavier the dread in Kurt's stomach got. If the doctors found something was seriously wrong once Blaine woke up, Kurt didn't know what he would do. Kurt felt hollow at their words. Physically, Blaine would end up being fine, but what if something in Blaine's brain was damaged now? What if he forgot everything about what they shared? Or worse, what if he remembered and shut himself off from Kurt again? Cut Kurt and his family from his life completely because being happy and opening himself up had once again ended with him in terrible pain.
Kurt sniffled a bit as Carole kissed him on the cheek and dragged one of the other chairs over to sit with him as Burt did the same. He reached out and took Blaine's hand, having a weird sense of d�j� vu from when his father had been here not even a month ago. Like with his father, the hand remained motionless and limp in his grasp, but that only made him clutch it tighter. Blaine was still warm against his fingers, his pulse still beating along his wrist as he sat there with him.
"I remember the last time I was in a hospital with him," Carole said from his side, reaching up and grasping their clasped hands.
"W- what?" Kurt stammered, choking a little on his renewed tears. God, he was a mess.
Carole turned to him, and offered him a watery smile. There was something in her eyes, different to anything he was used to seeing directed at Blaine. Kurt wasn't sure what to call it. There was an overwhelming number of motherly undertones, almost the same look she had when Finn did something that reminded her of him as a young child, but there was a haunted quality to it. Almost as if she was seeing past Blaine's facade and the boy he was to the little boy he used to be – the person he could have been if things had been different, but that had been slowly coming to life before her eyes with every day that passed.
"Before we moved to Lima, me and Finn lived near Westerville. I used to work at the hospital out there," Carole started. "I was there the day his mother was brought in. He was there, lost in the halls, looking for his father," Carole paused to wipe her eyes and allowed herself a little bubbly laugh. "I can't believe I didn't put it together when I saw the picture of him and his mother, but it was such a long time ago and I only met him for fifteen minutes. There's always little kids wandering off in a hospital, but I remember him. He was the sweetest little boy... "
Kurt stared back into her eyes in amazement. He found it almost impossible to believe, but Carole wouldn't lie about something like this. She'd never lie to him about anything. He glanced at Blaine's unconscious form, wondering if he even remembered that part of that day. After the story Blaine had told him earlier he didn't think a six year old boy's memory would have had room for much more than the tragedy he'd come home to that afternoon.
"You– "
The door to the room creaked open behind them. Jim Ferguson and a second officer stepped into the room.
"Hey, Kurt," Jim greeted as they closed the door. "How's your shoulder?"
Still focused on what Carole had just revealed to him, Kurt stared up at him blankly. He hadn't heard a word the other man had just said.
Luckily, Burt supplied the answer for him. "He's gonna need some surgery to put his bone right, but nothing too bad."
"That's good," Jim replied. He bit his lip and Kurt suddenly knew why they were here. They wanted his statement about everything that had happened – wanted him to relive what was now one of the worst moments of his life. "Kurt, we were hoping we could talk to you about what happened? While it's still fresh? We can come back in the morning if you want."
"N- no," Kurt stammered nervously. He took a deep breath. As much as he didn't want to think about it or relive it, he also realized the sooner it was done the sooner those men could be charged and put away. "I'll tell you everything now."
"Okay," Jim said as the second officer pulled a notepad and a pen from his pocket and took a seat on the edge of his empty bed. "First, I just want you to tell us everything starting from say... when you and Blaine left school?"
"All right," Kurt agreed. Carole clasped his uninjured hand and gave him an encouraging nod as he took a deep breath to steel his nerves for what he was about to talk his way through.
The first part was easy enough as Kurt explained how Blaine had left first since Kurt had had a French test to make up. He glossed over the specifics of what him and Blaine had gotten up to, making it sound like they'd fallen asleep while sitting around doing homework or something, and then woken up late because of his phone dying. He hoped nobody would question that they'd just fallen asleep, because his blush would surely give him away and Burt was right there. But once he got to the conversation they'd had before leaving, and then moving Blaine's things, he started to shake – could almost feel himself being tugged back into that cracked and dreary parking lot when he'd felt on top of the world. Because Blaine was choosing to come home with him – choosing to make his home, their home. Next to him, his father was tense and grating his teeth as he stuttered through the attack, explaining how they'd come out of nowhere and he'd dropped his keys and Blaine had returned for them. He could barely talk as he explained the rest of the encounter, feeling numb and like he was going to explode from fury and pain all at once.
When he turned to look at Carole and his dad, Carole was crying quietly and Burt was red in the face and looked more terrifying and furious than Kurt could ever recall him being.
"Was there anybody with Blaine from the time he left school until you arrived at his room?" the second officer asked.
Startled, Kurt turned back to them. "No, I- I don't think so," he said uncertainly. "Why?"
Jim looked slightly worried at his answer, and sighed heavily. "It means whatever Blaine did during that time is mostly likely only backed by his word, and it could easily be turned into him confronting or provoking them for some reason while nobody was there to see him."
"There's no way in hell Blaine would do that," Burt growled defensively. "After all the other times they've gone after him– "
"What other times?" the second officer cut in sharply. "If they've got a history of this and any of you are witnesses it'll help his case."
Kurt wiped at his eyes and tried to get a handle on himself as Carole and Burt explained the times they'd seen Blaine getting assaulted. Kurt put in the various times he'd been there as well once they had finished, even mentioned the day Blaine had been left there and had the crap beaten out of him and the countless nights Blaine hadn't slept because of them hollering and trying to break in.
"That's... "Jim cleared his throat and stared over his partner's shoulder at the pages of notes. "That's quite extensive. It should help."
"I think that's all we'll need for tonight," the second officer decided. "If we have any more questions we'll contact you."
Jim nodded at his words, and stood up, looking regretful as he dug out his handcuffs. Kurt eyed the glint of metal in confusion, a prickle of fear grating over his skin. There wasn't any reason for those that he could think of. They'd done nothing wrong, yet Jim was stepping towards Blaine's bed.
"What are those for?" Kurt demanded, his voice rocketing up an octave and coming out slightly shrill. "What are you doing?"
"Kurt," Carole said bracingly, and the panic in his chest only increased. This didn't make any sense. "It's because of his ankle monitor, sweetheart. Bringing him here was out of its range. Until they're absolutely certain he didn't provoke that fight or anything, they have to make sure he stays in... in place."
"But it wasn't his fault!" Kurt hollered. "He never did– wouldn't do– he would have died if they hadn't brought him here!"
"They know that," Burt assured him, though he sounded just as furious as Kurt felt as they watched Jim fit the handcuffs around the bed's railing and then Blaine's wrist. "It's part of their protocol until their investigation is complete."
"He's not even... not even awake," Kurt argued, his heart plummeting at his own words. "He can't go anywhere regardless."
Carole pulled him into a tight hug as the second officer left to go call the station, but Jim remained behind.
"I hate having to do it," he said resignedly, standing next to Blaine's bedside and watching his unconscious form. "After everything I've read in his file I just want to make this right. He's found something great with you guys, I can tell. But making sure he gets it... " Jim shuffled over to Kurt's bed and dropped down onto the edge of it so that he was facing him. "I'm not going to lie to you. It doesn't look good considering one of the men is dead. That was a separate confrontation with two of our officers, and they ended up having to shoot him at close range, but if it goes to trial... most judges aren't sympathetic to teenagers with a record, and especially not in a case of gay bashing. Not in this part of Ohio. His neighbors' statements don't count for much, and most of them didn't even glance out to see what was going on or anything. The woman on the end is the only one worth a damn, and if his grandfather comes back then I don't know what'll happen."
"His grandfather was here?" Kurt echoed, anger flaring to life in the pit of his stomach. Whatever Cameron Anderson was doing here would do nothing to help any of them. Any interaction between him and Blaine would end badly. And after his lack of help keeping Blaine out of a juvenile detention center, Kurt couldn't see him helping Blaine out now.
"He's still Blaine's emergency contact. Didn't stay long after I got on him," Burt grumbled from next to him. "Did you look into getting him on any charges?"
"We talked to the one man we caught," Jim answered. "We'll have to get Blaine to confirm some of what was said. He gave us a direct quote from his grandfather, even identified a picture of him before he asked why we wanted to know anything. It still won't be enough considering how many judges he's got in his pocket, but if you uh... hold it over his head, you might be able to get him to give you guardianship of Blaine? Or help with anything legal that's going to happen soon. He'll look suspicious if he doesn't do anything, considering how well know he is as a lawyer."
"That's what I've been thinking about," Carole agreed, and Kurt was so surprised by it he just stared at her and his father, who was nodding. "I've been thinking about it for a while, even looked some stuff up. Even without his grandfather's consent, Blaine is seventeen and legally allowed to decide where he lives as long as he's with a responsible adult."
"Really?" Kurt managed to say. He hadn't known that, had figured Carole and his father would try to keep Blaine's living situation as quiet as possible until he turned eighteen next October. The idea that Blaine was actually allowed to live with them without any legal problems was a relief in a way. But the mention of Cameron Anderson making a mysterious appearance, most likely just to look like he cared so he couldn't get called on anything, irked him and made him want to bundle Blaine up and tuck him away in his room at home. Safe from the law, safe from the world's judgement, and safe from his grandfather's control and harsh outlook.
The door was pushed open and Doctor Burke entered with another doctor, a tall man with dark hair and thick glasses.
"Kurt, this is Doctor Fuller. He'll be doing your surgery tonight," Doctor Burke said without preamble. Kurt clumsily shook the man's hand with his left, feeling dizzy and exhausted even though he hadn't even been awake for two hours yet. Jim said his goodbyes to his father, Carole, and himself, and Doctor Fuller walked him through the procedure once more.
Ten minutes later Burt was helping Kurt change into a hospital gown, his eyes bugging out of his skull at the line of hickeys on Kurt's hip bones that his jeans had covered up. Thankfully he was allowed to keep his boxers on, so he wasn't as humiliated as he could have been. Doctor Fuller returned with a nurse who helped him onto a gurney. Carole kissed him on his cheek once more, reassuring him that the surgery was simple. Kurt nodded nervously as he was rolled out of the room, into the elevator and then into a surgery unit on the fifth floor. Briefly, he wondered if it was the same one Blaine had been in earlier, but had already been cleaned of his blood and the mess he'd surely made because of his wounds. The anesthesiologist came over with his anesthesia and he felt the sharp prick of the needle as an oxygen mask was put over his mouth.
His eyelids began to get heavy almost instantly. As he started to drift away he wondered if Blaine was still unconscious, lost in some nightmare from his terrible past or not even dreaming at all. Maybe Blaine wasn't even capable of dreaming anymore after tonight...
When he woke up for the second time that night, Kurt found himself staring up at the same ceiling tiles in a mostly dark room It was late, he realized as he looked around and found his father asleep in the chair next to his bed. His shoulder was wrapped tightly and throbbed dully as he rumpled his blankets and turned enough so that he could see the distinct outline of Blaine's profile in the bed across the room.
The sight was comforting and painful for him to see. Blaine hadn't changed since he'd left, which was both a good and a bad thing in a lot of ways. After the numerous times he'd been there for encounters with those men part of himself had almost started to believe that Blaine was somehow invincible. That while Blaine's emotional state was shattered and had a million different holes in it, his physical strength and resistance, his ability to somehow always come out with the upper hand, would never be compromised.
Tears built quickly in his eyes as he looked back up at the ceiling. Everything was so uncertain now. The fear of losing Blaine to one of a dozen different possibilities was gut-wrenching and made him want to vomit. If his grandfather didn't ruin things, then his ankle monitor might. If he got cleared off that he could easily be charged with provoking the assault or countless other things given the record he already had at seventeen.
The door was pushed open slowly and quietly, but the light from the hall filtering in caught his eye. Carole and Finn tiptoed inside quickly. Finn nearly rushed the bed and tackled him, but Carole's sharp warning made him pause. Instead, he got a dainty hug that amounted to Finn making a giant circle with his arms and lightly pressing his fingertips into Kurt's biceps. Despite his sad mood, Kurt couldn't help but smile at the gesture.
The rest of the night was spent with Finn yammering away at his bedside while he drifted in and out of consciousness. His brain was still rather foggy and weird from the anesthesia and on top of that he was exhausted from the attack and how much he was worrying about Blaine. At some point he must have dozed off completely because when he woke up again the room's sole window was dazzlingly bright and a warm strip of sunlight was hitting him in the face.
Kurt had to shield his eyes in order to see around the room. His father had disappeared, and Finn was passed out on a small cot in the far corner by Blaine's bed. A jolt of hope rippled through him as he looked to Blaine, but the other boy hadn't moved at all – was still in the same exact position as last night. For a moment, Kurt listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat through the monitor and tried to take some comfort in that. If anything worse had happened in the night he would have surely been woken up by the doctors rushing about.
He yawned loudly as his heart sunk once more. Kurt had no idea what time it was, but he figured it must be at least noon if the sun's strength was anything to go by. His head was clearer than it had been at any point yesterday or last night, but he still felt terrible because of the dread of what would happen once Blaine woke up.
Burt and Carole arrived a few seconds later through the open door, each carrying two trays of food. Kurt's stomach rumbled painfully as the smell of scrambled eggs hit his nostrils.
"Watch it," Burt warned. "You sound like Finn and Blaine. I don't think we can handle three boys who eat enough for twenty."
""I do not," Kurt said crossly, eyeing the food tray now placed on the narrow bed table Burt was now pushing towards him as Carole helped him sit up. Burt moved to wake Finn up, handing off his second tray and then settling into the chair next to Carole's. "Still no changes?"
Carole and Burt glanced up at him sadly, eyes briefly flickering towards Blaine's side of the room before Carole spoke.
"No, they stopped the sleeping medications about four hours ago," she explained. "There's still no sign of brain swelling or anything alarming. Hopefully he'll wake up within the next couple of hours."
Kurt nodded, eyes still focused on Blaine as he started to eat. Finn took the silence that followed as an opportunity to tell them about his football game last night. Even though he was grateful for some distraction, Kurt barely listened. He was just glad that the focus wasn't completely on him at the moment. With both Carole and Burt smiling and listening attentively to Finn give them a play- by- play, Kurt spent the majority of his meal watching Blaine for the slightest sign of movement. The flicker of an eyelid, the twitch of a finger. Anything that would loosen the painful knot in his chest and tell him the boy he loved was still around to fight for what they had.
The end of their meal came and went. Doctor Burke came to check him out a final time, signed the release form and then had Burt sign the rest, as was the standard procedure. Kurt was changing back into his clothes with some help from Finn with his shirt, and adamantly refusing to leave even though Burt and Carole both insisted that he at least walk around and stretch his legs a bit, when his ears caught a faint groan from across the room.
His head snapped around, hope flooding through his veins as he stumbled to Blaine's side. Startled, the others stared after him until Blaine made another faint, pained noise in the back of his throat. Carole exploded into action and rushed from the room. Kurt assumed she was going to find Doctor Burke, but he could barely focus on his own body movements long enough to take hold of Blaine's hand where it was resting on top of his blankets. Another pitiful sound echoed out of Blaine's parted lips and Kurt screwed his face up against the emotions stirring in his chest.
This was the moment Kurt had been both waiting for and dreading. Everything could change right now. His entire world could be flipped over and rolled off a cliff or everything could float back down from the violent tornado it had been sucked into. Burt had moved to the opposite side of the bed with Finn, both watching Blaine nervously as the door banged open behind them and Carole returned with Doctor Burke.
Doctor Burk quickly moved in front of Burt and Finn, checking a few things on the machines. "Blaine, can you hear me? If you can hear us squeeze Kurt's hand or blink your eye, okay?"
Another groan, louder this time, and a harsh hiss greeted her words. Kurt gripped Blaine's hand tighter, and sat on the edge of the bed. "Blaine, it's Kurt. Squeeze back."
Slowly the fingers in his grasp curled around his hand, though the squeeze was so weak Kurt barely felt it.
"Okay, that's great, Blaine," Doctor Burke encouraged. "We need you to open your eye or try to speak if you can, okay?"
Blaine whimpered a little and Kurt took that as acknowledgement. His heart was beating wildly in his chest as he watched Blaine's eye slowly move under his eyelid. When Blaine's eyelid pulled apart and revealed his hazel- green iris, Kurt couldn't hold back his tears anymore. Blaine's eye may still be cloudy and he was obviously sluggish and incredibly groggy, but he was responding. He could hear and understand them.
"Fantastic," Doctor Burke said happily. "I'm going to check your eye, okay?"
After a few seconds of shining the light into Blaine's eye and his subsequent groans, Doctor Burke pulled back and checked over a few different areas of his face.
Blaine's eye kept drifting shut even though he was blinking repeatedly to try and stay awake. Kurt wiped his own eyes and bent to kiss him softly on his uninjured cheek and whisper in his ear. "You're safe now, baby."
"K- k- k- "Blaine's voice was so weak and shaky he stopped, breathing in sharply and then wincing. Kurt could tell how difficult it was for him to even get his jaw to move with how swollen his face was. The fact that it was probably still numb didn't help either.
"Shallow breaths," Doctor Burke told him, lightly resting her palm an little bit above his torso. "Don't inhale any more than this."
Kurt watched nervously as Blaine followed her command, his eye drifting shut once more. He watched Blaine's dry, cracked lips work furiously as he tried to talk again. This was what he'd been dreading, some sort of problem, or maybe it was just the medications making him so drowsy so that he couldn't talk properly.
"K- k- Kur- Kurt," Blaine stammered weakly, his hand tightening around Kurt's more.
"Yeah," Kurt choked out, lifting Blaine's hand to his mouth and resting his cheek against it. "I'm right here. You need to stay awake for a little bit, please."
Doctor Burke nodded at Kurt encouragingly, seeing that he was getting a better response. "Ask him to open his eye again."
Kurt nodded and repeated her instructions. After a few seconds Blaine did as he'd asked, his gaze still looking hazy, but this time his eye wandered around a little, taking in the room or their faces. Kurt wasn't sure if Blaine could even focus on any of them at all with how groggy he was.
"Do you know who this man is next to me?" Doctor Burke asked Blaine, who was now squinting up at them. Kurt held his breath as they waited for Blaine's answer. He didn't want to think what it would mean if he recognized himself, or Kurt's voice, but couldn't recognize Burt or Carole. Something could be wrong with Blaine's vision entirely.
"Bur- urt," Blaine muttered, his eye drifting closed again.
"Hey, hey, stay with us," Burt said. "We've been sitting around for hours waiting for you to wake up. Give us a little show, yeah?"
Blaine's eye slowly opened once more, and Doctor Burke managed to get him to identify Finn and Carole, before he turned his gaze to his right and Kurt found Blaine's eye trained on him. He could see how much Blaine was struggling to focus and stay awake, but there was a familiar determination there that Kurt was so glad to see.
"K- Kur... K-Kurt, y- you o- o- ok- ay?" Blaine asked shakily, and the concern made Kurt's heart want to burst in his chest. There was Blaine's unwavering love shining back at him through that hazel- green eye, all of the happiness and hope and the memories of the little world they'd managed to create for themselves.
"I'm fine, Blaine," Kurt said earnestly. "They didn't get me." He glanced at Doctor Burke, who nodded to say she was done for now, and pressed a kiss to Blaine's knuckles. "Go back to sleep now. I'll be here when you wake up."
Blaine groaned in understanding, his eye flickering shut as he managed to whisper, "L- love y- you."
"I love you, too, baby," Kurt replied, no longer able to stop his tears as Blaine drifted back to sleep.
Doctor Burke sighed, though she sounded relieved and satisfied. "That's definitely a good sign. He can hear, and was able to recognize all of you by sight. His speech might just be from the swelling and numbness and the medications. When he wakes up again we'll be able to know more on that count, but that was a great sign that his brain is still functioning properly. He's very lucky in that aspect. Now it's just the left eye that concerns me." She stood up and went to pull Blaine's chart from the plastic holder on the door. "If he wakes up again, call me. We'll try to get a bit more from him if possible. Keep him awake longer, maybe get him to drink and eat a little bit."
Carole thanked her once more as she left to go add some notes to Blaine's file, but Kurt stayed where he was, clasping Blaine's hand tightly. The fact that Blaine was almost certainly clear of anything terrible of a brain related nature was relieving. But there was still the lingering fear in his mind saying that once Blaine was more aware and awake, had his mindset more ordered, he'd lash out or push him away because of everything that had happened.
Next to him Carole and Burt embraced tightly, and Finn awkwardly patted Blaine's leg on the other side of the bed. Kurt wiped at his eyes, and tried not to think about what the next few days or weeks might mean for them all. He tried not to think about how Blaine might shut him out and never let him back in once he was fully conscious. Blaine's fingers curled tighter around his hand, and he glanced up expecting Blaine to be awake again, but he wasn't. Despite his fears he squeezed back, determined to hold on to Blaine for as long as the other boy or Cameron Anderson would let him and beyond.
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The skin on Blaine's face was tingling and itchy when he woke up again. Everything was heavy and his brain was incredibly groggy and fuzzy as he laid there. It took him a few more minutes until he was fully awake and once he was, he immediately wished he wasn't. His head was pounding, throbbing really, and the left side of his face felt weirdly numb and clumsy as if it had been inflated with helium. His jaw was sore, and ached and creaked loudly in his head when he tried to make it work. Blaine took a slow deep breath, only to wince as pain seared across his ribs and up his chest. A loud groan fell from his mouth and he forced himself to stop and try to focus on his breathing.
He knew that feeling. The sharp pains and stabs from his lungs expanding and stretching his ribs when they couldn't handle the movement. At least one, probably two or three of his ribs were broken then. Perfect. After a few moments of relaxing and remembering what he'd been told when he'd woken up in the hospital after the Sadie Hawkins dance years ago, he worked on opening his eye.
A blurry, dark hospital room greeted him. Something shifted against the sheets next to his hip and with some struggle he turned his head enough to look down. Kurt's head was resting next to him on the bed, their hands intertwined tightly as the other boy drooled quietly on the blanket. Something hot and painful constricted in his chest that had nothing to do with his broken ribs. Just the sight of Kurt sleeping brought everything back from... last night? A few days ago? He wasn't sure hold long he'd been out, but the fact that it had happened at all filled him with fury.
Why couldn't things go his way just once? Why did his happiness always lead to disaster?
Kurt grunted loudly and Blaine lowered his gaze back to the other boy – his boyfriend. Even the thought of the term made his face flush. But with the flush came a burst of pain along his left cheek, shooting from his jaw to his eye. A sharp hiss of pain whistled through his teeth and he squeezed his good eye shut, waiting for the pain to subside. Only it didn't. The ache didn't increase, but it didn't dissipate either. It steadily throbbed and seared up and down the left half of his face, sometimes even shooting little sharp tingles across his nose.
Just the thought of how bad his face looked made Blaine grimace. He remembered a fair portion of what had happened. The crack of a glass bottle against the top of his head, the blurred vision and dizziness as he'd been dragged towards the car and slammed into it face first. But mostly he remembered the overwhelming fear of what would happen once he was down, once he was unconscious and bleeding to death in a dark, cracked parking lot and Kurt was left on his own. Blaine had no doubt none of his neighbors would be any help. They probably hadn't even looked out to see what the commotion was about or bothered to call the cops about the noise. They'd never bothered before.
Kurt snorted a little and rolled his face more into the blanket, gently nuzzling his cheek against their joined hands. A hard lump made its way into Blaine's throat at the unconscious gesture. Somehow, someway, Kurt was fine. He'd made it out and they were both alive. He didn't understand how it was possible after those last few seconds he remembered, but here they were safe and sound, if a little beaten up.
Heaviness started to seep into his head again, and he let his eye drift closed once more as his face and chest throbbed. Maybe some more sleep would make the pain stop or at least dull it some...
A loud, grunting snore sounded from the corner by the foot of his bed and his eye fluttered open again. It was too dark to make out the people sleeping over there, but he was almost certain that snore belonged to Finn. He'd heard it more than once over the past week, but from what he could see there were at least two people over there. The snoring continued, echoing and thunderous, and Blaine knew he wouldn't fall back asleep with that racket going until he was completely exhausted once more.
He let his head loll to the side so that he could watch Kurt sleep, content just to know the boy he loved was safe and fine. That by taking the majority, perhaps even all of the physical assault, Kurt had been saved from too much injury. At least physically. The sight of Kurt's tearful, hysterical face flashed once through his head, the slap of Kurt's hand against the window as the bat had connected with his face one final time –
A little alarm went off on one of his monitors as his heart thudded wildly in his chest. Stop thinking about it, he scolded himself. He had more than enough painful memories to live with. The sooner he closed this one off and forgot about it, the better they'd all be. The blip slowly steadied out, but he was positive someone would come rushing in at any moment.
A few seconds later he wasn't surprised when Carole, in her nurse's uniform, came bustling inside. He tried to talk, but his jaw still wasn't working properly. A string of incoherent noises fell from his lips as she rushed to his side and started checking various things on the monitors.
Some doctor was there a moment later, checking him out as well, and finally deciding his rapid heartbeat increase was nothing drastic. Something caused from a nightmare or the disorientation from waking up. As the man left, Carole dropped down next to him on the opposite side as Kurt, taking his other hand into hers. He kept trying to speak, but the words were lodged in his throat and his lips and mouth didn't feel like anything at all right now.
"Shhh, just relax, sweetheart," Carole soothed gently. "You've had a rough couple of days. Take your time, okay?"
He swallowed thickly and screwed up what little strength he had, focusing on moving his mouth to get the words he needed to say out.
"A- al- ways y- you," he stammered softly, but he could tell by the way her eyebrows knitted together in the middle of her forehead that she'd heard him and didn't understand what he meant. Even to his own ears what he'd just stuttered sounded stupid, but getting much more out wasn't going to be easy. Just those two words made his temples throb angrily.
"Always me?" Carole echoed in confusion, moving her chair a little bit closer so at least he wouldn't have to project him voice so much.
Blaine tried to nod, but it only made his head hurt more. God, he hated this. Why couldn't his mouth and brain just work together seamlessly when he really needed them to? Still, he tried once more.
"W- when- ever n- n- need you," he paused and swallowed letting his jaw relax so that he could force the next words through. "Here," he let his gaze travel around the room, hoping she'd understand he meant not just this hospital, but the last one. "A- and here." With a great effort he raised their clasped hands, not daring to let them drop down onto his chest over his heart, but something held his hand down and rattled against the bed. Even as something seemed to shift in her gaze at his words and gesture, his gaze fell on the handcuff slapped around his left wrist and attached to the bed.
His ankle monitor would be the reason for that. The hospital was miles and miles from his apartment and definitely not in a three mile radius. Coming here had set the damn thing off and now the cops were going to be all over him.
"I... I didn't think you'd remember that," she whispered in surprise, and he looked up to find her own gaze on his handcuffed wrist. He'd worried about that later once he knew what exactly had happened after he'd been knocked unconscious. "It was such a long time ago. I'd forgotten it myself until recently."
"E- eas- i- ly forget- table," Blaine murmured, his throat feeling dry and scratchy, but compared to how it hadn't felt like anything ten minutes, he'd take it.
Carole looked heartbroken at his self- depreciating words. Her eyes were shining faintly in the light from the hall, and she was shaking her head in disagreement.
"No, you're not, Blaine, even if you might think it after... everything you've been through," Carole said sincerely. "You're so much more, so much stronger and incredible than I think even Kurt knows." She paused and brushed some of his curls off his bandages, and even if he'd wanted to, Blaine couldn't have looked away. It had been years since an adult he'd trusted had ever praised him or told him he was worthwhile. Even before his grandfather had known he was gay the man had still turned up his nose and lectured him endlessly about every little thing he didn't like about him. But Carole... Carole was like his mother. Or at least, what he thought his mother would be like if she was still alive to see him now.
A swell of emotion expanded in his chest at the thought. God, his mother wouldn't even recognize him anymore. Not even when these scars and bruises healed and faded. He was nothing like the little boy she'd left behind and sometimes he hated himself for it.
"You were one of the sweetest little boys I've ever met," Carole continued after a moment, and Blaine felt his throat constrict more at her words. He wasn't anymore though. "You still are, even though you like to hide it from everyone. The way you are with Kurt... it blows me away to know everything that's happened to you hasn't completely obliterated the boy I remember. You've done so much for Kurt – for all of us. I'm so grateful you've come back into my life and have made Kurt the happiest he's ever been. I'm so thankful I've got the chance to love both of you."
Blaine's vision blurred again, but this time it wasn't because of his head, or pain, or sleepiness. After a moment of letting the tears pool in his eye, he tugged his hand from Kurt's grasp to wipe his eye. The movement made Kurt shift and groan and once he realized that Blaine's hand was missing his head shot up and he looked around wildly.
"K- kurt," Blaine called softly.
Kurt's head whipped around so fast his neck cricked, but then his eyes locked with Blaine's and all the tears Blaine had just wiped away started pooling in his eyes again.
"Hi," Kurt said softly, eyes bright as he got out of his seat quickly, wobbling a bit from being off- balance because of the sling his arm was in. Kurt settled next to him onto the bed, taking hold of his hand again as Carole rose to her feet.
"I'll go get you something to eat, okay, Blaine?" Blaine nodded a little, never taking his eyes off of Kurt as Carole gave his hand another squeeze and left the room.
"You h- hurt your a- arm," Blaine whispered as the door snapped shut. Part of him was relieved to hear some of the steadiness returning to his voice, but it still irked him that he couldn't quite get his tongue around his words. He hoped it was just how groggy he was right now, because if this stammering was permanent it was going to drive him nuts.
Kurt glanced down at his shoulder briefly, before he leaned forehead and tentatively rested their foreheads together. While his mouth and jaw were regaining sensation, Blaine didn't even feel the warmth of Kurt's skin against his, just a slight pressure. Even with how bizarre and eerie it felt, it was still comforting to feel Kurt's warm breath brushing over the parts of his face beginning to tingle with sensation.
"It's nothing major," Kurt reassured him. "They already patched me up while you were out."
"H- how long?" Blaine asked.
"They brought us in yesterday evening," Kurt told him. He heard Kurt gulp and a few tears fell from Kurt's eyes onto his cheek and bandages. The fact that he barely felt it was strange and made his skin crawl. He didn't like any of this at all. "I was... I was scared that you had– that you were– "
" 'm n-not," Blaine cut in, and he wanted nothing more than to tilt his mouth up and kiss Kurt, but his entire neck felt like it was made from hot wax. At most he could make his head loll from side to side, but any type of lifting wasn't working at all. He was just too weak right now. The very thought made him cringe.
Kurt took a shaky, deep breath and pulled back to wipe his nose on his sleeve. "I know that now, but last night, Blaine... y- you were just lying there and you weren't moving or– or– "
Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand tightly, even as his own flashes from yesterday rippled through his mind. He'd been through things like this before, unfortunately. While it was still hard and terrifying, his past experiences made it a little easier to accept and come to terms with the situation. But Kurt... he'd never asked, but he was almost positive the other boy had never experienced anything quite like what had happened to them last night.
"C- come here, Kurt," Blaine requested, tugging a little on Kurt's hand until the other boy stood up and slowly and carefully laid down on his left side in the small space next to Blaine.
"I'm not hurting you am I?" Kurt asked worriedly as he settled down next to him.
Blaine let his head roll to the side so that he could look Kurt in the eyes again. It was lucky his good eye was on this side. Otherwise he probably wouldn't be able to see Kurt's face at all. "I'm fine," Blaine told him quietly. He called it a small victory that he finally didn't stutter for once.
Kurt's good arm curled around his upper arm loosely and he let his head tilt down until it was resting on Blaine's shoulder. "I love you," Kurt told him, and there was something unbearably nervous in his tone.
It took Blaine a few seconds to figure it out, but then he remembered his explosive reaction to the break- in. The way he'd shut Kurt and Carole out completely and thrown them out of his apartment. The hesitancy in Kurt's tone, the scared tremor of his voice, made him realize that as bad as his physical condition was, it was nothing next to the emotional turmoil they were both feeling. Kurt was scared of losing him still, even though he was physically okay. He was scared of Blaine shutting him out again, maybe even forever. And Blaine was scared that somehow they would still end up losing each other in the aftermath of last night. The handcuff chaining him to the bed definitely wasn't a good sign.
But there was absolutely no way he could turn away from all of this now. There was no way he wasn't going to fight to keep this group of loving, caring people in his life. Even if he got hurt, or his heart ended up breaking, he wouldn't turn away from Kurt or Carole or Burt or even Finn now. Without them his heart wouldn't even be able to be broken, because Kurt would have never helped him mend it if he hadn't given this a chance.
As much as it terrified Blaine to admit it, he needed them now more than ever. Needed their support and love that they'd so generously offered to him with no expectation of it being returned. Except he wanted to return it wholeheartedly, and that scared him even more because ever instinct he had was screaming at him to still turn his back and run once he had the chance.
Blaine let his head droop down some more until his uninjured cheek was resting against Kurt's hair. His eye fluttered shut as Kurt sighed at the touch. "I love you, too."
At some point they must have dozed off because the next thing Blaine was aware of was Carole gently coaxing him awake. The smell of something delicious hit his nostrils and his stomach rumbled so loudly Kurt jerked awake at his side. They both winced at the sudden movement. Kurt because he'd unintentionally jostled his healing shoulder and Blaine because Kurt's hand had pressed against his ribs as it had retracted from the bed.
"Sorry," Kurt apologized. "If your stomach wasn't also so hungry it wouldn't have happened."
"Exactly," Blaine murmured, his voice not nearly up to its usual biting tone, but he kept the banter going just the same. "You s- should be m- more than used to it by n- n- now."
He was pretty sure some of the sass in that comment was lost because of the shaky stutter, but he could actually feel his tongue and most of his mouth again. That had to be a good sign even if some of his stammering was still persisting. Carole helped Kurt off the bed and into one of the chairs, setting one of the trays she'd wheeled in on his table and demanding that he eat.
"I won't have you not eating anything now that Blaine's awake," she told him as she pressed a button on the side of Blaine's bed that raised him into a sitting position. While the movement didn't put any strain on his ribs, it was still slightly uncomfortable for his torso for some reason he couldn't place. The sudden shift make him dizzy and the room seemed to tilt and blur for a moment.
But Carole was by his side, sitting on the edge of his bed and clasping his hand tightly. "Shh, relax, sweetheart. Just close your eyes and let your head get used to it, okay?" she reassured him for the next couple of minutes as the ache in his head dissipated some and when he blinked his eye open he found the room was back to its normal self.
Still, the crease in Carole's brow told him that she was still worried about something with his condition as she held the straw in the glass of water to his lips and encouraged him to drink. He did as she requested, slowly drinking the glass of water and then moving on to some chicken broth and even some of the noodles in the soup. But as hungry as he was, he didn't think he could stomach much more than that.
Kurt finished relatively quickly and seated himself on the other side of the bed and something like panic awoke in Blaine's chest. He could hear Carole fine on his right side, could even hear some of what Kurt was saying, but there wasn't even static in his left ear. Just an eerie silence that made him nervous and feel off- balance. How he hadn't noticed it before was beyond him, but now that he had he couldn't focus on anything else.
"C- can't hear," he choked out, refusing the next spoonful of broth and turning to Carole. Nobody had told him exactly what his list of injuries were, but he'd already figured out quite a few from the various places that were throbbing.
"What?" Kurt bolted out of his seat in alarm, but Carole was already cutting off what he was going to say next.
"It's your left ear?" At Blaine's weak nod, she continued. "The eardrum was ruptured. Not severely, fortunately, but it's going to take several weeks to heal at least. Normally the ear rings a lot when that happens, but it can also fade in and out or you might not be able to hear for a while. I'll make a note for the doctor to keep an eye on it. Make sure you let us know if it changes."
Blaine nodded mutely again and relaxed back into his bed some more. The thought of not being able to hear, even in one ear, terrified him. Hearing was one of the main senses he'd relied on during his time in juvie and again these past six months living at Forestwood. He couldn't afford to not be able to hear on one side if he was going back to that madhouse.
Carole seemed to realize his worry because she set aside the bowl and talked him through each of his injuries, explaining the healing time for each and possible problems or complications. Blaine listened numbly to the list, watching Kurt's face show exactly what he was really feeling. At the very least if he did get locked away again, they'd have to wait until some of these were fully healed. He'd seen for himself how other boys had had stitches ripped from their skin by the top guys in there. It wasn't long after one particular incident that they'd made an official rule that they couldn't lock anyone away without a full physical examination saying they were healthy, mostly so they wouldn't get sued by anyone again.
By the time she finished, Kurt looked unnerved, but Blaine was quickly calculating a set time frame for when they'd throw him back to the wolves. Or maybe... maybe this time since he was seventeen, nearly an adult in legal terms, they'd just toss him in a real prison and be done with it. He gulped at the thought and looked away from both of them, the handcuffs rattling slightly as he tugged his hands closer to his body. It hadn't escaped his notice that Carole had left out anything involving the cops and their investigation, reports, and what had happened to their attackers. If she hadn't mentioned it, then it must be bad. Bad for him. As much as he wanted to know what was in store for him, he really couldn't bring himself to ask right now. Not when everyone – including himself – was just relieved that he was all right.
The rest of Sunday was a blur for Blaine. For the most part he slept, waking occasionally to eat or meet with whichever doctor was on call at the moment. Burt ended up forcing both Finn and Kurt to leave that night because they had school the following morning, but when Blaine woke up again on Monday morning, Kurt was by his bedside. Judging by the fact that both of their backpacks were in the chair next to Kurt, Blaine figured the other boy had at least gone in to let the school know what was going on and to collect any work they had for the next however many days.
Carole stopped by during her lunch hour and stayed with them, changing the bandages around Blaine's ear and eye and noting that some of the swelling was starting to go down, although the bruising was still extensive. She also stretched out his legs for a little bit since the doctors told him it would still be a while before they'd try letting him walk around. His ear, on the other hand, had started to ring faintly the previous night, which Doctor Burke had said was a good sign although it was driving him crazy.
Burt showed up right after lunch, fresh from his first shift back at the shop. He looked tired, but happy from what Blaine could tell, though personally he didn't think Burt could quite finish a full shift there for a few more weeks. This morning had probably only been four or five hours at most, but the other man was sweaty and kept drifting out of the conversation Kurt insisted on keeping up. Not long after Carole returned, now in her street clothes and ready to spend the next few hours sitting with them.
It was late in the afternoon when a group of unexpected visitors appeared in his doorway. Blaine wasn't surprised to see two cops there, one he was certain was the guy Kurt had known the one time they'd been hounded, and the other he didn't recognize. A moment later, he didn't even care that they were there to do whatever to him, because his grandfather had stepped through the doorway behind them, looking as haughty and distinguished as ever. Blaine's blood ran cold as the door closed with a faint snap.
What the hell was he doing here? It's not like he gave a damn about him at all. His anger started clawing at his insides as he met the man's gaze. The man who had abandoned him and left him in the hell he'd barely survived. There was nothing in his grandfather's eyes as they looked at each other. A stranger on the street would show more emotion towards him than his grandfather would.
The slightly familiar cop stepped forward and Blaine flinched on instinct and shifted away from the man as much as he could. He hated cops. They'd done nothing but harass him and make him miserable for years. To them he was little better than a wad of gum they'd stepped in.
"Hi, Blaine. I'm Jim Ferguson," the man greeted, and even though he sounded cheerful and looked nice, Blaine hated him immediately because of the badge shining on his chest. "I'm not sure how much Carole, Burt, or Kurt have told you yet about our investigation– "
"They haven't said a thing and I haven't asked," Blaine growled. He eyed Jim's impassive face for a moment and then tugged at the handcuff on his left wrist. "Judging by this it's nothing good for me."
"We're here to remove that actually," Jim told him, and when Blaine still looked at him distrustfully he stood up, walked around to the far side of the bed. "I'll probably be back in a few days to remove your ankle monitor as well."
He made a move to hold Blaine's wrist and Blaine jerked his hand away as much as he could. This didn't make any sense at all to him. He still had three weeks left with that damn thing. All of the drama from his hospital trip would only exacerbate the problems surrounding its removal, especially with his record added into the mix.
"Why?" he demanded harshly. "Since when do any of you have a del- l- linqu- quent's b- best int- ter- e- ests at heart?" Carole stepped around Jim and tried to rub his arm, but he glared up at her as well. "Don't," he snapped. He turned back to Jim and the second cop, catching sight of his grandfather's disapproving look over his shoulder. "They're here to give me answers and I want them now. Since when does any type of investigation go in my favor? In favor of a gay delinquent in Ohio?"
"Oh, come now, Blaine. There's no need to be so hostile and rude," his grandfather's clear, crisp voice echoed from behind the officers and Blaine gritted his teeth and fought down the urge to hit anything he could reach. Just the sound of his voice brought back all the memories from his first night on his own. The thud of his trunk being carelessly dropped onto the pavement. The snap of the car doors, a worthless key being handed to him, and then the hateful, painful words directed at him not long after. He would never forget the hoots of laughter that had greeted his grandfather's harsh slurs, or the way Cameron had looked at those men – the same ones who had landed him in the hospital – not caring about what they might do and then left him there to fend for himself. To be beaten to a bloody pulp as he struggled to find a way to barricade his front door because the lock hadn't worked.
From the foot of his bed, Burt growled angrily in the back of his throat as his grandfather stepped forward and continued talking. The look on the man's face said it all to Blaine. The charming, empty smile that had fooled countless jurors, but had never fooled Blaine was in place. Nothing had changed between them, not that he'd wanted it to.
"There's still a few things left to get sorted out with the police, but most of it's taken care of. Though I have to say, this repetition is getting quite old," Cameron said sternly. "I don't know what to do with you sometimes." He smiled wider then, but his eyes flickered and darkened and it was a look Blaine knew so well, even if it had been months since he'd seen it.
It was the same taunting look he'd seen in the parking lot on that warm May evening. The one that was just daring him to snap back or say any ounce of the actual truth just so he could be shot down and feel the hopelessness all over again. Just so he could prove who had the power and that no matter what he said he'd always look like an insolent, troublesome, little child that was ungrateful for his grandfather's help, time and time again. Blaine clenched his jaw and said nothing, because it was futile to even bother responding. Nobody would ever believe him next to his grandfather. Not with his record and tendencies – not when his grandfather was on the side of the law and had a hundred judges at his beck and call.
As he stared at his grandfather, Jim asked for his wrist to remove the handcuff. Slowly, Blaine extended it, hearing the metal clink gently as it slide along the railing. A few minutes later, he'd regained the use of his left arm and was being talked through everything. One of the men, shot down by an officer, was dead. Two were now in custody, one caught on the night of the attack, and the other found this morning, passed out drunk in an alley a few blocks away. They would need them to identify the man, but they seemed certain that he was one of the two they were looking for still. The fourth was still unaccounted for. His grandfather had stepped into the fray, made sure the death was placed on the police department entirely, had made sure his ankle monitor going off was put down to a life or death situation, and generally made it look like he truly cared about him. Only he didn't. By the time they had finished explaining everything, Blaine knew his grandfather's legal involvement was as much for his own sake as it was for his. If he looked like he cared and did everything within his power to help then nobody would suspect him of anything awful.
Blaine kept his face blank as the two men stood up and said their goodbyes for the night. They'd be back within the week to remove his ankle monitor, although right now it was turned off and completely useless. As Jim Ferguson brushed past his grandfather he shot the man a dirty look, and for a moment Blaine almost felt a little fond of the man. Even if there was nothing he could do about anything, at least he didn't buy the act. If he was the one that was friends with Kurt's dad then he probably knew more about Blaine's life than Blaine would ever want him to.
The second cop tugged the door open and stepped out. With a final wave Jim followed him, only to stumble and jerk to the side with a shout.
"Whoa, little one! No need to take out my knees!"
Blaine was confused by the remark, mostly because it was hard to see from the position his bed was in, but when his grandfather looked alarmed and spun around he thought he had his answer. His heart jolted painfully as a little girl, with her golden blond curls in two braids over either shoulder, came bounding into the room.
"Blaine's in here, isn't he?" she demanded as Cameron stepped in front of her.
"Lily Marie, I told you to stay outside– "
"I want to see my brother," she sassed back, and even though Blaine couldn't see her through his grandfather's body he could just picture the way she was jutting her chin out right now as she glared fiercely up at him.
"Lily?" Blaine called. He hated how scared and timid his voice sounded in that moment. It had been almost three years since he'd seen her. The fact that she even remember him at all made something tight coil around his heart.
"Blaine! I knew it!" Lily squealed. Before Cameron could stop her she darted around him, ducking her his arm, and flew towards the bed. "One of the doctors outside said your name and– what happened to your face?"
"Lily!" Cameron scolded, his voice angry and fierce. "Do not touch him!"
"But– "
"I said no," he continued harshly. "We're leaving."
Even as Burt stepped forward, Blaine couldn't take his eyes off his sister. God, she'd grown so much in the past few years. Gone was the awkward, round faced seven year old with no front teeth and in her place was a tall, gangly nine year old. Her hair was a lot longer and a little darker, but her eyes were the same as ever. The same hazel- green as his, only wide and innocent and very upset and worried at the moment. He'd always loved that they had the same colored eyes. It was the only physical similarity they shared and even when someone hadn't believed they were brother and sister they'd get a glimpse of their sparkling eyes and immediately changed their minds.
"You're not going anywhere until I've got some answers," Burt snapped and Lily spun around to stare up at him in surprise.
Blaine looked over, too, and at Burt's small nod realized at least part of his motive right now was to give him a chance to see Lily. He'd never directly spoken to Burt about her, but somehow, probably through Kurt, he already seemed to know.
Cameron turned away from him and Lily, and eyed Burt critically. "There's nothing we need to discuss."
"Yes, there is," Burt argued. He looked at Lily pointedly. "About Blaine's future and school situation."
His grandfather seemed to take the hint when he caught that look towards Lily. Blaine knew he wouldn't want Burt to say anything about May to her, or why he'd just left him there on his own in front of her. That would lead to a lot of difficult questions, because his sister was constantly questioning everything. Especially because Lily had always been incredibly fond of him since their father and her mother had been very aloof. He'd taken to teaching her and helping her when he could. Even read her to sleep the way his own father had when he was younger.
"Fine," Cameron decided. "Lily, stay in here. Don't touch– "
"It's not going to hurt her to touch him!" Kurt snapped angrily, and the sound of his voice made Blaine jump. He'd forgotten Kurt was there because he'd been so silent until now. But the sound of Kurt's voice also made him flinch a little. The high pitch was enough to make his grandfather looked surprised and then disgusted as he eyed Kurt's clothes and hair. He could already see the words forming in his grandfather's mind – the same ones he'd thrown at him not long ago.
"Don't you– " Blaine started, but Kurt grabbed his hand and he stopped, wincing from the way his ribs had just seared.
Burt looked angrier than Blaine had ever seen him as he directed Cameron from the room and into the hallway without a word. He didn't even notice until he heard the door snap shut because he was so focused on controlling his breathing so that his ribs would stop aching so much.
"You're hurt really bad, aren't you?" Lily whispered as she hoisted herself up onto the bed by his thigh and sat down. "What... what happened, Blaine?"
"I- it looks worse than it is," Blaine said quietly as Kurt squeezed his hand and helped him relax back into the bed.
Lily's eyes narrowed skeptically at his words and she immediately turned to Kurt. "He's lying, isn't he?"
Kurt looked surprised to be directly addressed, and even a little nervous to be put into that position between lying to her or backing up Blaine's words. "What makes you think that?"
"Because he always lies about how hurt or upset he is," Lily said smartly. "It's bad, isn't it?"
"It's not great," Kurt supplied with a quick glance at Blaine.
Blaine attempted to roll his eyes at the exchange, but then winced when his left eye throbbed angrily. It was so like both of them to immediately gang up on him and tell each other that everything he said was worse than it was. He'd had similar injuries before – much worse ones regarding his ribs – this wasn't anything new or difficult. At least not to him.
"You're going to be okay, though?" Lily asked him, turning back to Blaine and biting her lip. For a moment Blaine swore she'd shrunk down to the little six year old that had sat in the same spot after the Sadie Hawkins incident. He wondered how much of those weeks she even remembered, but she obviously remembered something with how scared she looked right now.
"I'll be fine," he reassured her, extending a shaky arm to twirl one of her braids. "It'll be a few months until everything's good, but don't count me out yet, all right?"
"And then you get to come home?" Lily persisted. "Or do you only have to stay here for a little bit and then you get to come home?"
"I– no," Blaine swallowed thickly even as his throat tightened and his heart beat painfully in his chest. God, why did she always have to ask so many questions? How was he ever going to explain this to her?
Her entire face fell at that word, and if Blaine's heart hadn't been shattering inside his chest before, it certainly was now. He could barely feel the pain in his head and face over how much his chest was aching at the look on his sister's face. His baby sister. The sibling he hadn't really wanted or known what to do with until she'd given him her first smile, her first laugh. The way she used to wrap her arms and legs around his own leg and giggle as he walked around the house with her in tow.
It hurt to even think about all of the memories he'd done his best to block out, but he couldn't ignore it with her sitting right there beside him. She was here and real and about to disappear from his life again, probably even for good.
"But... are you going back to Dalton then?"
"No," Blaine choked out, and he hated how much he wanted to cry right then. How he just wanted to tug her into his arms and sob and never let her get away from him again. But he couldn't. That would only scare her more and probably hurt him further. "I don't go to Dalton anymore, Lily."
"But then... Blaine, I don't understand," Lily said in annoyance. "We're here to see you and then take you home. Where else are you going to go?"
"I... " Blaine paused and shut his eye, taking a shaky breath to try and steady himself for what he was about to tell her. He'd always hated disappointing her or giving her bad news, and he had no idea what his grandfather had been telling her about his whereabouts, but he figured it was a lie. Telling her that he was never coming back to her home was going to be devastating and then trying to explain why was only going to make things worse. "I am going home once I leave here," he started slowly and he bit the inside of his lip to stop the humorless laugh from escaping at the way her face brightened. "Lily, my... my home and y- your home... they aren't the same place anymore."
Her face fell once more and the look was even worse than it had been a minute ago. Blaine almost wished he was back in the parking lot and getting the crap beaten out of him and having half his face caved in because this was so much worse, so much more painful and agonizing. There was no easy way to say goodbye to his sister. But at least he was getting the chance to now. Whether that was a good thing or not, he honestly didn't know. Nothing about it felt good.
"Why?" she asked quietly. Blaine could already see the tears forming in her eyes, but he knew she was going to do her best to hold them back. She'd always done her best to keep her tears from falling. "Grandfather would want you to– "
"That's the thing of it, Lil," Blaine cut in. "He... he doesn't want me. N- not anymore."
Blaine had to look away from her after he said that. He felt so ashamed even though he knew he shouldn't. It wasn't his fault their grandfather was a homophobic bastard. There wasn't anything he'd done wrong to bring this on himself, but it still felt like it. It still felt like it was his fault because all of the anger and hate was directed at him and who he was.
His gaze fell on Kurt and if anything that only made him feel worse. There were tears in his eyes, too. Tears that Blaine couldn't handle or deal with – sympathy he didn't want and shouldn't have. He turned back to Lily, who was looking so heartbroken and little and lost, and decided to explain as best he could before she started asking him questions.
"You remember those Disney princess movies you love so much?" She nodded silently and scooted up the bed towards him, clutching his biceps in a death grip as though she was terrified if she let him go she'd never see him again. He hated having to remind himself that she wouldn't. "Remember how all those girls like boys and fall in love with a prince?" Another nod. "Well, sometimes... sometimes girls like other girls and fall in love with them," Blaine continued, looking back over to Kurt as he spoke. "Sometimes boys like boys and they fall in love, too."
"Oh," Lily said simply, quietly. "You're gay."
Blaine startled a bit at how bluntly she'd said that, but she'd never really been one for tact. For a moment he was sure she was going to pull away in disgust, was sure their grandfather had filled her head with a ton of anti-gay bullshit and hatred, but she snuggled down against his arm a little more and sniffled.
"You... you know what that means?" Blaine said in surprise and Lily sat up and rolled her eyes.
"God, Blaine, I'm nine, not stupid," she said in exasperation. After a second she explained, "The boy in my class that keeps trying to kiss me has two dads. They're really nice, but grandpa doesn't like them at all."
"He keeps trying to what?"
"Don't worry," she continued loftily. "Boys are icky. No offense."
"You kick him in the nads if he tries anything– "
"Ew," Lily muttered. "I don't want my foot there!"
Carole and Kurt both laughed at her words, and even Blaine could forget for a moment how this conversation and visit was going to end, because she didn't care. The fact that he was gay meant nothing to her. It was just part of who he was, not some big travesty like it was to their grandfather.
Lily slid up the bed a little more and looked at Kurt. "If he's not your boyfriend he should be," she told Blaine sternly. "He's got pretty eyes. Nice people always have pretty eyes. You should keep him."
"He is," Blaine said softly, lacing his fingers through Kurt's and holding on tight. "It might have taken me a while to realize it though."
"Well you are kind of stupid sometimes," Lily replied, and Blaine couldn't stop his laughter even though it hurt and felt out of place. She hadn't changed a bit since the last time he'd seen her.
"I've missed you," he murmured. As soon as Blaine said it the words fell like a heavy weight into the pit of his stomach. He was going to keep missing her, too. For months or years or the rest of his life. After today he'd probably never see her again. After today Cameron would take her home and fill her head with lies for the next however many years until she wanted nothing to do with him either.
Blaine didn't realize Lily was crying until she spoke again.
"I'm never going to see you again, am I?" she whispered tearfully.
He didn't want to answer that question, didn't want to lie just to make her feel better or say no when it would break her heart. He looked at Carole, silently watching them and looking tearful and just as heartbroken as he felt. Then he looked to Kurt, who gave him a small, bittersweet smile. If either of them had a better answer they didn't offer it. Nobody could give him any sort of hopeful answer.
"I don't know," he said honestly.
Lily's tears continued to fall silently as they laid there, but his own wouldn't come. He felt more hollow and numb than ever before. After the beating he'd just had, after all the shit he'd been through he finally had Lily back, but only for a moment. As soon as that door opened up again she'd be whisked away from him after she'd been tauntingly dangled in front of him. He didn't want the door to his room to open, didn't want to feel his heart shatter all over again like it always did when he let himself love anyone.
On his left side, Kurt squeezed his hand tighter and Blaine's throat tightened even more. How long was it going to be before Kurt broke his heart the same way everyone else did?
Comments
my heart hurts
God this story just breaks my heart so much. And Lily is just so perfect. Can't they all just live happily ever after? ;____;
Fantastic chapter. I'm happy to see that Blaine wasn't to seriously injured. While Lily was absolutely adorable, that last line broke my heart.
::shoots self and jumps off cliff:: LILYYYYYY ;-;
jgla;hd;akajrihenk FABULOUS chapter as always!!!!
I just wanted to go to bed and then you UPDATE *damn you time zones* Brilliant chapter, as always. I cried and I laughed. Lily is just so precious. So glad the legal situation seems to go alright... and well, we need to have some angst in the end right (Kurt breaking his heart? yeah right) Can't wait for the next chapter but maybe it's good that it's gonna take some time cause I also do not want this story to end...
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! This chapter was absolutely beautiful. Kurt's fears about Blaine's possible shut-down were so well written - the agony of waiting for Blaine to show signs of life, and yet worry over what will happen once he is awake, and free to pull away and close Kurt off = brilliant. This chapter felt like the culmination of Blaine's growth. Now, he can admit to himself how much he needs the love and support of his new family. And Lily!! Knowing how close we are to the end, I cannot wait to have this printed, bound, and placed on my shelf - fanfic or not, this is a novel that should be published and sold in every bookstore.
Awwwwwwww Lilyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ... And Blaine, listen to me with your good ear, if you push Kurt away because you're afraid he's going to end up hurting you ... again ... I'm going to cut your ears ! With a little spoon, so it will be long, and painful 'kay ?
Heartbreaking and beautiful. You have such a true gift for writing. I certainly hope it doesn't actually take weeks to get the next update out!
No! Blaine, baby, Kurt is never going to break your heart! Uch, but Zavocado, you just broke mine with that line!!!!
Blaine's okay! Yes! And the ankle monitor's almost history. And omg I just want to hug Lily. Poor girl. She's stuck in the toxic environment still and they're gonna be ripped from each other. Ughhh.
No!! Kurt would never break his heart - he can't think that!! Argh! This story is so good - love the bad boy Blaine beginning segued into the wonderful gentle Blaine we know and love - cannot wait for the next part!!
I feel like I've just been stabbed in the heart...
I think this is the first time that I comment on this story, but I really wanted to let you know that this is one of the best Klaine stories I've ever read! It stole my breath away since the first chapter! Thanks for sharing it with us!
aww, this was incredibly beautiful. i cried in the last section. lily is adorable. i used to read this on fanfiction but i cant get on there much anymore so ive decided to come over here. :D im so happy that your story is up here so that i can read it. but im incredibly sad that it is going to end soon. cant wait for the next update. GleeWicked
I love this story and will be sorry to see it come to an end. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions and definitely a "keeper" - one to be taken out and read again and again! Thank you.
A teasing bit of optimism at the end. I want a happy ending!
Awww, Blaine... My heart is breaking
Gosh, this fic is just so perfect. I'm a mess of emotions and I can say that I've never cried so much to a fic as I have to this one.
I look fwd to the next ch. Can you do anything to have the update show the correct date? Thanks.
The update date on its broken for some reason and I can't get it to work. Last update was January 29th! -continues to try and fix it-
Ohmygswakjgkfssgjkkkk please tell me this doesn't end here! There hasn't been an update in months for what I see... I love this story so much. Please say you'll finish it!!
aww only 2 more ch please keep going
I need this! I need more. This fic had been air to me.
I literally just spent the first half of February reading this lovely fic and it literally has ALL.THE. SPECTRUM.OF.ANY.LIVING.ORGANISM'S.EMOTIONS. GAHHHH I want Chapter 26. Superb. Outstanding. Crying from both Lily and the perfection that is this storyline.
Which country are you from and is English your first langugage?
By the way ... I think Blaine should sing "Not Alone" by Darren Criss :D It's a beautiful song and I think it would fit the storyline (if there's a happy end) !!! YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUquTr3Tcv0
THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS! This is the best Klaine Fic I have ever read! I have cried, laughed, shouted at the screen in anger, and so much more! You are such a great writer. I really feel their emotions. At times it is so HOT! Oh my gosh... Amazing! I seriously read this fic in two days.. Stayed up all night.. and I keep coming back to see if it's updated. I love how you portrayed Blaine! It is such a bitter sweet story. I'm a sucker for these kind of stories. I feel so bad for Blaine.. He is so sweet. I'm so glad he found Kurt. PLEASE LET THEM BE TOGETHER FOREVER! I also hope Lily can come live with them too. :) Seriously Lily is the cutest thing! Update Soon!
Kurt will never break Blaine's heart. He won't. <3