March 12, 2012, 11:35 a.m.
Go Your Own Way
Go Your Own Way: Chapter 15
E - Words: 5,535 - Last Updated: Mar 12, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 28/28 - Created: Aug 05, 2011 - Updated: Mar 12, 2012 21,149 0 25 0 1
Happiness was something he wasn't accustomed to anymore, at least not to this degree. Not when it made his breath catch, and his heart flutter and his whole chest just ache because of the things that wanted to burst out of him. Even last night was unprecedented for him. Every other sexual encounter for him had always been impersonal and rushed. "Get naked, get off, get the hell out" had become a mantra dictating his actions from the depths of his subconscious during his time at Dalton. But this... this was something entirely new. Something he'd never expected to want to happen every night and morning for the rest of his life. And the most surprising aspect of this was the fact that he didn't even mind feeling this way.
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes again, breathing in Kurt's scent. Vanilla and jasmine and sex. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he pressed his lips against the soft skin of Kurt's neck. The boy shifted in his arms and mumbled incoherently, shrugging up his shoulders at the tickling brush of Blaine's lips. Kurt wiggled against him and Blaine tightened his arm, holding him close as a little joyful laugh bubbled up out of Kurt.
"Good morning," he mumbled against Kurt's neck, planting another soft kiss on it.
Kurt sighed contentedly and turned his head to look at Blaine with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face.
"Hi" Kurt said softly, his eyes sleepy but bright. Kurt rolled over to face Blaine fully and brought their linked hands up to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss onto the knuckles of Blaine's index finger.
Something tight and hot constricted in Blaine's throat as Kurt's gaze settled on him. There was a wonder and warmth there that Blaine could not remember ever having had directed at him before. He felt like his ribcage was trying and failing at containing a nuclear explosion. He'd never seen anyone as beautiful as the boy nestled in his arms. All he wanted to do was kiss him and hold him and touch him and pleasure him until they could both no longer move with exhaustion. To spend every waking moment ensuring that that blissful smile never flickered from Kurt's face and–
And, god, this was love, wasn't it?
Love that was the jubilant crescendo resting in his chest, tugging at his lips, turning his stomach into an Olympic gymnast and making his touches, which he knew were usually rough, gentle and caring. A hand brushed at his curls and what seemed to be from a great distance he heard Kurt's voice penetrate his thoughts.
"Blaine? Why are you- is there- is there something on my face?"
Kurt's warm hand slipped out of his and reached up to self-consciously touch his cheek. He caught it and pulled it back into his own, watching their fingers lace together.
"No," he breathed, "there's nothing wrong with your face. Can't I just stare at the beautiful boy in my arms?" Blaine lamented whilst continuing to smile at Kurt and never taking his eyes off him.
Kurt's eyes fell to their interlocked hands and somehow his smile got even bigger.
"Yes. Yes, you can."
His stomach swooped as Kurt leaned into him and kissed him softly.
Fuck, he was in love. He was in love and didn't want it to end; didn't want to ever leave his place in Kurt's strong arms.
But fuck, what the hell was he going to do?
He'd loved his mother more than anything else in the world and look where that had gotten him. She'd gone off and killed herself when all of those medications had driven her mad, leaving him to find her broken body when he got home from school.
He'd loved his father, too. At least until he'd shut himself down, remarried barely three months later, and refused to look at him or his face for years.
The nagging made itself known again. He couldn't let this happen; couldn't let himself continue to encourage the wonderful, giddy feeling tickling his insides. It was nice, but it wouldn't last. It never did. But maybe... maybe he could just let himself enjoy it for a little while longer. He deserved that. He did! It was insanely cold in his room after all, and Kurt was so soft and warm and real in his arms. Was it so wrong to feel reluctant to pull himself away from that?
His hand trailed down to the base of Kurt's spine as their kisses grew more intense, finally settling on Kurt's ass. A rush of air hissed past Kurt's lips at the touch.
"Shit, sorry" Blaine apologized, pulling away to see the grimace on Kurt's face. God, he'd been way too rough last night. The fact that he was even thinking this was really saying something, since last night was probably the gentlest he'd ever been. Even when he'd topped virgins he'd never really cared once his cock was in the other guy's ass. He'd always been merciless with the spanking as well because it only made them clamp even tighter around him. The last glimpse he'd had of his last fuck had been a swollen ass covered in angry purple blotches in the exact shape of his hands. It had never mattered to him if they'd had to limp or even crawl from his dormitory room. But with Kurt...
With Kurt everything was different.
"I- I was too rough," he stuttered rolling on to his back as the guilt clawed at his insides. "I shouldn't have spanked you like that or – or –"
His babbling was cut off with a searing kiss. He moaned against Kurt's mouth, because fuck, even those few moments of kissing had turned him on and sent a fair percentage of his blood rushing south. Kurt pressed down on top of him, his legs tangling together with Blaine's.
"I liked it, Blaine," he said shyly, pressing his lips to Blaine's jaw, the top of his cheeks turning pink, "I mean it- it wasn't at all I imagined my first time to be like and if you'd asked before you – before you did that..." Kurt trailed off and looked away, biting his lower lip.
Blaine knew what it was that Kurt hadn't finished saying. If he'd asked to spank him, Kurt would have said no. Guilt twisted in his gut again.
"It felt incredible, though," Kurt whispered, and when Blaine turned his eyes back to Kurt, he found himself under a trusting gaze. "I don't think I'd want it to happen every time-" Blaine's heart leapt at his words. He didn't want to just leave it as a onetime thing either. "call me k- kinky, but I loved it."
Nodding, Blaine pulled him down for another kiss, and Kurt melted against him. Kurt only parted their lips for a few shaky words.
"I want to – can we – not the spanking but... can we do it again?"
Blaine groaned when Kurt slanted his lips over his without waiting for an answer. He was already ridiculously half- hard and horny. He blamed his sixteen – no, seventeen year-old, he corrected – hormone- driven brain for the almost constant hard- on he had around Kurt. One that was getting rapidly harder as Kurt's legs slid around him, knees pushing into the mattress until he was spread wide in Blaine's lap. As he felt Kurt's cock lengthening and jutting into his stomach he trailed a probing hand down to the crease of Kurt's ass. Just a little brush over the slightly wet, raw and swollen puckered hole had Kurt jolting away from Blaine's lips until he was sitting up in his lap. The added pressure against his cock did nothing to help him as he tried to rein in his desire.
"You're too sore, baby," he told him, sitting up and brushing back the hairs dangling into Kurt's face. He was both impressed and astonished at his own words. He'd never turned down an offer for sex before.
In response Kurt ground down against him and wrapped his arms around his neck. Blaine's breath hitched as Kurt's lips dragged over his.
"No, I can- I can take it. I want you inside me, Blaine." He rolled his ass down against Blaine's throbbing cock and they both moaned loudly.
There was really no way he could say no to that. Not when Kurt was looking at him with those passionate eyes, and rolling his ass against Blaine's erection and consequently rubbing his own hard- on against Blaine's stomach.
As Blaine fumbled for the condoms and lube still on the night-stand, Kurt attached his mouth to his neck, biting and sucking wetly. He pressed his hips up as much as he could with all of Kurt's weight on them, knocking a small gasp from Kurt's mouth.
"If it's too much just tell me... " he whispered as he popped the lid on the lube and started to coat his fingers.
Kurt's chest rumbled against him as he slid his slick fingers down to Kurt's swollen hole. A breathless moan tickled his ear as Kurt arched back against his touch and slid onto two of his fingers. His own breath caught at how easily they slipped in and out as Kurt started raising his hips to ride them. His cock twitched painfully at the sight of Kurt rising and falling at a steady pace in his lap; at the way his mouth was parted slightly and his head was thrown back in rapture. In a few minutes Kurt would be riding him like that.
Jesus, fuck.
"More, Blaine," Kurt panted, pushing himself back harder onto Blaine's fingers. As he lowered himself back down Blaine added a third and crooked his fingers against his prostate. Kurt cried out, whether at the slightly painfully stretch or at the pleasure, Blaine didn't know. He couldn't really think of anything except how gorgeous Kurt was when his pupils were lust-blown and there was a light sheen of sweat starting to pop up over his skin. A moment later, Kurt was fucking himself back even harder onto his fingers and god, he didn't think he could wait any longer. He needed that tight squeeze around himself; the delicious drag of increasing and decreasing pressure as he slid in and out.
After a few more thrusts Kurt stilled on his fingers, breathing heavy and squirming a bit. Unlike last night he didn't fumble as he tore the condom wrapper open and rolled it down Blaine's cock. He didn't let Blaine remove his fingers to lube himself up either. A loud whine gasped out of Kurt's throat when he started to pull his fingers out. Surprised, Blaine stopped as Kurt's hand latched onto his arm and held it steady as he pushed himself back down until his fingers were buried to the knuckle again.
Groaning, Blaine dropped his forehead to Kurt's shoulder and watched the pale hands disappear from between their bodies. He was just getting control of his breathing when the hands reappeared, slick and shiny with lube. They grasped him firmly, twisting and stroking as he moaned and thrust up into the fists.
"Now, baby. Please," Kurt pleaded, raising himself off of Blaine's fingers and wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck.
Blaine didn't need to be told twice as he sucked roughly at Kurt's neck. Hand still slick with lube, he lined himself up against Kurt's entrance, the blunt tip rubbing over his slick hole. Before he could even thrust up, Kurt sunk down onto him, biting down on his shoulder, his moan vibrating through Blaine's flesh. He moaned, too, because, god, Kurt was still so fucking tight.
He grabbed Kurt's hips hard as the boy started to rock slowly in his lap and tugged him down a few more inches to completely bury himself in his wet heat. Kurt gasped as his ass settled against the top of Blaine's thighs and the way he clenched around his cock told Blaine he'd just brushed against the other boy's prostate.
"You're so gorgeous," he whispered breathlessly against Kurt's lips before he captured them with his own. His tongue darted out and traced over Kurt's lips as Kurt started rocking in his lap again, rising and falling on his cock.
Tilting his hips up more he thrust up to match Kurt's movements and hit home. Kurt screamed and started moving faster in his lap.
"Blaine, oh god. Right there- right there!" Kurt begged as Blaine's hands clutched onto his ass cheeks and started helping Kurt ride him harder. Kurt's head snapped back as he sunk down onto him and yelled again.
God, he never wanted Kurt to stop making that sound. Or to stop gliding up and down his cock. Kurt's back arched until his chest was pressed flush against his own, his head thrown back and a cry clawed out of his throat every time Blaine's cock filled him up. Sweat was beading across the column of Kurt's neck and Blaine tilted his head forward, to press his tongue against it and mouth over his throat. A sharp, breathless gasp vibrated against his tongue and Kurt's arms clung tighter around his neck as Kurt shifted his thighs a bit to get better leverage. He could only imagine how much Kurt's toned thighs were burning but he could see Kurt didn't want to stop – couldn't stop – even if it hurt.
A deep moan broke past his lips as Kurt started gyrating his hips faster, rolling them as his ass smacked down against Blaine's lap. He could feel Kurt's cock, slick with pre-cum, pressing against his stomach, feel his nails cutting into his shoulders as they thrust against each other, their moans increasing in volume as the heat started to electrocute the nerve endings all over his body.
"Fuck, Kurt," he moaned desperately. He was going to come so hard from this. He'd never been more turned on than he was right now; had never felt this kind of incredible, intimate pleasure except with Kurt.
"Blaine... Blaine, god, you- you feel so good" Kurt panted, pressing his face against Blaine's cheek and sucking onto his earlobe.
A whimper broke through his lips and he jerked his hips up harder against Kurt's riding gallop. Blaine could feel the way Kurt's muscles were starting to tremble and clench around his cock that was so hard it actually hurt, the way Kurt was starting to shudder against him. He could tell Kurt was just as close as him. He wound his arms tightly around Kurt's waist as they slapped wetly together, panting and moaning and dipped his head to capture a taut, rosy nipple between his teeth–
"Blaine! Holy fuck!"
His own mind went numb and his balls tightened as Kurt's muscles clamped around him. Warm come was splattering onto his stomach as the euphoria wound up in him. Kurt thrashed against him, lost in his own cries of pleasure as the heat coiling up in his stomach shattered.
"Kurt... Kurt!" he gasped against the boy's heaving chest, his eyes rolling back into his head as his toes curled and he stopped breathing. Kurt had stopped moving in his lap while he was coming. Trembling, Blaine sunk back into his pillows, arms still wrapped tightly around Kurt, pulling him down on top of him.
He traced his hand up Kurt's sweaty back to his hair, brushing his hands through it slowly and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Kurt slunk up his chest, slipping off of his cock and breathing heavily against his neck. He tugged the condom off of himself, tied it off, and slung it in the direction of the trash bin.
Whether or not it actually made it that distance was of little concern to him at the moment.
"I'm not going to be able to walk for a week!" Kurt mumbled absentmindedly, dragging his fingertips across the planes of Blaine's chest.
Blaine laughed softly, still slightly breathless, his lips still pressed against Kurt's forehead as he replied "This was your idea, Hummel. It's your own fault you let me fuck you raw."
Kurt hummed against his pectoral and slid to the side to tuck himself against Blaine's side. Blaine's arm tightened around Kurt's chest as he sighed dreamily and let his eyes drift shut. He was always so sleepy after an orgasm. The only thing he wanted right now was to stay in this moment. To never let Kurt go... to let himself love Kurt.
If this was love... if he was actually falling in love... he might just be able to get used to this feeling; the warmth that spread through him and the way his heart swelled when Kurt was smiling at him like he was right now. He didn't need to feel this way... but he wanted to.
"Oh, no. No sleeping, Anderson. We've got school, remember?"
"We've got time" Blaine grumbled sleepily, cracking an eyelid and glancing at his alarm clock. The screen was dark. He reached up and fumbled with the lamp switch for a moment but nothing happened.
"Shit. The power shorted again last night."
"Oh my god. We're probably already late and going to be in so much trouble–"
Kurt was already sitting up, wincing as the shift made him ache more, but with a swift grab Blaine tugged him back down into his arms.
"Shut up, Hummel. It doesn't even look that bright out yet. We've got time," he reiterated, snuggling against Kurt as dim, gray light filtered through around the edges of the curtains.
He watched Kurt's eyes drift over to the window as well and felt him relax back down into his arms.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
A bony chin dug into his chest and he glanced down to find Kurt staring directly at him, a bright smile stretched across his face. Despite everything he'd promised himself years ago, he smiled back and brushed the hairs off of Kurt's forehead again. They fell back into his eyes and Kurt giggled, his breath ghosting over his chest.
"You never did tell me how your job interview went yesterday."
The happiness inside of him burst like a soap bubble at Kurt's words.
Laughing derisively, he arched his back and stretched a little bit as he avoided making eye contact.
"It went exactly as I told you it would."
Kurt shifted up his chest, smile faltering at the dark look creeping back over his features.
"You- you didn't get it?" Kurt mumbled softly against Blaine's skin, tracing a random pattern across his chest with his fingertips.
"Didn't even get the interview" Blaine clarified, staring fixedly at the ceiling. This was the part he hated most about being around Kurt. The terrible need Kurt had to talk about everything and how Kurt wanted to know all these things about him and how thrown off balance he was when none of it even fazed Kurt. He just accepted all there was too him and then some and it just blew his mind.
"But weren't you there for an interview?"
Blaine chuckled darkly as he nodded in agreement and untangled his foot from the blankets, shaking his ankle monitor so that the cold metal slid up and down his calf a few inches.
"As soon as they caught sight of this–" he rattled the ankle monitor again, then tucked it back under the blanket with Kurt's feet, "it was, 'We'll call you, Mr. Anderson'. Same thing I always hear," he grumbled. "Never call back for shit, of course."
"But that's just so- so- so-"
"Typical? Predictable?" Blaine supplied dryly. He could feel Kurt's sad gaze lingering on him, but he ignored it. That was another thing he hated about being around Kurt: how bad his life made Kurt feel and how bad Kurt's sadness made him feel as a result.
Before Kurt could reply, Blaine's mouth was jabbering away on its own accord with thoughts that he'd never voiced to anyone before. He'd never had anyone to share them with, though. It was another strange feeling for Blaine and it just made him more nervous about what Kurt really meant to him.
"As soon as they see it or check my records, every hope, every expectation they have gets flushed down the drain," Blaine said quietly, "They know I'm just a fuck up. Why should I waste my time and energy proving them wrong, when it's so easy to show them that they're right?"
For a moment it was silent and he hoped maybe, just maybe, Kurt would leave it at that. But whenever they got onto topics like this, Blaine knew that hope was just wishful thinking.
"Because you aren't a fuck up. You're so much... so much better than that – than them."
"My criminal record would slaughter you in court over that," Blaine said snidely as he shifted away from Kurt's warmth.
But Kurt's grip tightened and against his better judgement he allowed himself to be pulled back into his embrace.
"You are, Blaine. Even if you don't realize it yet."
The soft certainty in Kurt's words brought that ache back to Blaine's chest. He couldn't remember anyone having ever had any faith in him. His mother perhaps, but the only memories he had with her were his fifth and sixth birthdays, a vaguely hazy piano lesson, and walking into his parents' room after getting off the bus to find her dead on the floor.
It felt like something liquid hot was trickling down Blaine's throat as Kurt snuggled deeper into his side. There was so much Kurt didn't know – so much nobody knew about him. He hated himself for wanting to tell Kurt. Blaine noticed that he seemed to hate a lot that he was actually grateful for, as little as he liked to admit it to himself. But Kurt gave him a little nudge with his next question and Blaine knew it was the best opener he was going to get.
"Why are you even looking for a job?" Kurt asked hesitantly, "It just seems so... responsible for you."
"I- " he stuttered to a halt for a moment, trying to decide if this was a good idea and if so, where to even begin. There was no turning back after this...
Kurt was gazing up at Blaine hopefully as he traced his fingers over the little dark hairs starting to grow on Blaine's chest. He deserved to know, Blaine told himself. He was giving Blaine so much trust and support, and was actually believing in him. Kurt deserved to know him, Blaine decided. Even if it was only a glimpse into Blaine's past.
"I was in juvie when my father died," Blaine started. He fixed his eyes on a crack in the ceiling and focused his hearing on the rain he could hear pattering against the window. The more he could distance himself from the story he was telling, the easier it would be to tell it. "It was a month before I turned fifteen; about three after I got locked up, I think. He- " Blaine paused again. Kurt's grip had tightened around him in a way he figured should have been comforting. The added pressure only pulled him back into the reality of his own words and it was the last place Blaine wanted his head to be in right now. "He liked to drink a lot after- after my mother died. Forced my stepmother to go driving with him one night. Wrapped his fucking car around a tree and killed them both. His father, my grandfather, got custody of me after that."
Kurt had stiffened in his arms as he talked, but remained silent. A warm palm caressed Blaine's side, rubbing soothingly against his ribs. Blaine swallowed thickly and blinked a few times, trying to ignore the way those hands made the hot pressure build behind his eyes.
"He's the reason I got out of juvie and went to Dalton. Dalton's, like, the prep school for delinquents. If you've caused a shit load of trouble and you've got rich parents, that's where you go instead of juvie," he explained, following the pattern of cracks on the ceiling as he talked and tried his best to zone out. "My dad sort of lost his mind not long after my mom died. Started drinking, got remarried to some stupid bitch he knocked up while he was drunk, lost his job. My grandfather cut him off after that. He didn't want anything to do with a son who was a failure. He was never good enough for him, always a huge disappointment to the great Cameron Anderson. Wasn't smart or ambitious enough. Couldn't live up to my grandfather's expectations. At least until he got married and had me.
"I had the potential to be what he always wanted my father to be. Once my parents died and he had custody..." Blaine shrugged roughly, trying to squirm out of Kurt's tight clutches. The grip loosened but it was still strong, still holding Blaine down in his own words. "He's a big defense attorney. Ranked in the top ten in the country. He blamed my dad for all the trouble I got into because I was 'too smart and headstrong for a moron like him to control.' So he shipped me off to Dalton so I could get my act together and get into Yale like he did and become a lawyer."
"You want to be a lawyer?" Kurt interrupted, sounding surprised. Blaine laughed humourlessly but took the opening in order to get his own emotions under control. He couldn't let the past get to him like this. It was over and didn't matter anymore.
"Fuck, no. God, can you imagine me in a stiff three-piece suit?" Blaine replied mirthlessly.
The cheek pressed against Blaine's chest flared with a sudden warmth as Kurt's voice, soft and small, mumbled against his skin, "I think you'd look quite handsome. Very dapper if it was done right. You'd kill in a courtroom with a finely tailored suit."
"Maybe," he decided, "it doesn't matter. He doesn't want anything to do with me now either."
Kurt sat up slowly and the sudden rush of cool air over Blaine's skin made him flinch. He sat up, too, taking in the perplexed expression wrinkling Kurt's forehead.
"But... you said – I thought – isn't he helping you pay for- for this?" Kurt flapped his hand around at the dingy little apartment. Dropping his gaze to the blanket, Blaine yanked mindlessly at one of its broken threads, realizing that Kurt had gotten the wrong idea about all the vague things he'd said in recent weeks.
"Technically, it's his money," Blaine said tonelessly. "When I got tossed out of Dalton... I got caught organizing a sex party, basically. They're all a bunch of horny fucks and I knew how to get in and out of campus without getting caught to smuggle girls in for them. The administration told him they'd caught me and another guy fucking and gave him until the end of the semester to find a new school for me."
Kurt stiffened a little and Blaine cringed as he realized what he'd just said. He continued talking in a rush in an attempt to cover it up and pretend he hadn't just said what he did or the fact that he even cared.
"When he came to pick me and my stuff up at the end of May, he drove me here." A pleased chuckle slipped past Blaine's lips at the thought of trying to find a county in Ohio that he hadn't already been expelled from. He could probably count them on one hand. "He did find me McKinley. But once we got here he tossed my stuff onto the curb in front of the door and handed me a debit card for an account he'd set up."
His fingers trembled at the memory and Kurt's hand latched onto his, steadying it as it froze on top of the blanket. Blaine took a deep breath before he finished. Why had he even bothered trying to zone out while he was telling this? With Kurt next to him he couldn't help but be anything but emotionless.
"Those assholes from last night were out drinking on the curb next to us. They like to harass the girl in the end apartment," he continued, turning his gaze to the far wall instead of to Kurt's heart-broken face. "He told me he'd put ten thousand dollars in the account and it was mine if I never contacted him or Lily again."
"Lily?" Kurt's voice was curious as he repeated the name. Blaine felt their fingers lace together as Kurt shifted closer to him on the bed.
Blaine cleared his throat roughly before answering. "My half-sister," he clarified. "He told me I was never to show my worthless, faggot face anywhere near either of them again. Kurt gripped onto Blaine and he looked at his face fleetingly to see anger bubbling up and darken Kurt's eyes as they fixed on a spot across from them. His heart started beating rapidly in response, reacting to Kurt's anger with his own. The up and downs of emotion that Kurt was transferring onto Blaine was exhausting. He pulled his eyes away again and continued taking through his teeth. Then he left. Those guys beat the shit out of me when I tried to get into my room since they'd heard him call me a fag. They haven't left me alone since."
"Blaine... "
"Rent and bills here are five hundred a month. If by some miracle I don't get expelled and locked up again, that alone will set me back twelve thousand for the two years I've got left of school. Then there's food and clothes and bathroom shit and whatever else I need..."
Kurt's hand reached up to stroke Blaine's cheek gently and he flinched under the touch. God, he hated feeling like this. Blaine had always done everything in his power to prevent himself from feeling this way. But then there was Kurt, and somehow, although he still hated it, it seemed worth it to feel this way. Warm lips pressed against Blaine's other cheek as Kurt's arms wrapped around him. A few hot tears trickled down his neck. Kurt was crying because of what he'd told him – because of him. Blaine's heart wrenched in his chest at the thought.
"Shit, don't – don't cry, baby," Blaine whispered, wrapping the boy up in his arms. "It's just a bunch of stupid shit... it doesn't matter anymore."
"I wish you wouldn't say that," Kurt sniffled against his neck. "It's important to me b- b- because you're important to me, Blaine."
He froze at Kurt's words. Sure, Blaine knew it was true on some level and had known at least all morning, had known that even if he continued to deny it for the rest of his life that they weren't just fuck buddies or 'friends with benefits' or any other stupid label he may come up with. There was something happening between them that he couldn't even begin to fully understand. The only thing Blaine knew was that he wasn't ready for it. The same way he hadn't been ready to become an orphan at fourteen and then again at sixteen. But nothing had stopped that from happening.
"I... I- I care for you, too, Kurt," Blaine mumbled awkwardly. He could feel a bit of a blush rising in his cheeks and, fuck, he hated feeling bashful and flustered and just stupid. He hated a lot of things around Kurt, Blaine noticed. But he always hated a lot of things and the truth was that he didn't actually care about hating anything around Kurt. "You... you make me – make me feel things that I can't even begin to wrap my mind around, you know that?"
But then Kurt pulled away enough for them to look each other in the eyes. Bright blue eyes that sparkled like galaxies were staring at him and for once Blaine knew he'd done something right.
Maybe he was in love, Blaine pondered as Kurt pulled him in for a tender kiss. Maybe his brain was just a little loopy from the most mind-blowing orgasms he'd ever experienced. What the hell did he know about anything when Kurt's lips were sealed against his own?
He smiled into the kiss regardless, and pulled Kurt down with him as he tumbled back into his pillows. Neither of them heard the palm slap against the door, nor did they hear it creak open from the hit.
Comments
I have to many emotions right now, and about half of them are for the last line.
oesesifja;dslfjoewi;fj;eskljdfd;lskfj;oewh;LDSKFJdskfkdsjf that's pretty much the only way to describe what I'm feeling, okay?
Love that was the jubilant crescendo resting in his chest, tugging at his lips, turning his stomach into an Olympic gymnast and making his touches, which he knew were usually rough, gentle and caring God, I loved that line. I love seeing Blaine in such a new sensitive light, sharing all that information with Kurt and realizing how much he's starting to feel for him. ;_; it also makes me sad how he isn't allowed to see his sister. Ugh, this story man, this story. Kills me every time. But in a good way.
OHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDDDDDD how dare you leave it thereeee zane you're killing meeee i read the last sentence and literally starting shaking my computer screen....KJSHDFLKDJHFLKJDHGLSKDHGLKSDHGLDFJHGLDFUHGILHDFGDHSLGKJHFG
this is such an 'oooown' chapter! So, so cute! Your fan fiction is terrific! :) xxx
HA! I KNEW IT! In chapter 14, I never felt comfortable with them going further in Blaine's room when Kurt came back at night because Blaine never moved the trunk back under the door. I had this constant feeling of "This is hot, but shit, someone is going to walk in.." BECAUSE THE TRUNK! This story is amazing. I only just started it a couple of days ago but am now with the masses in the "more, more!" Really well done, great story, and let's face it, damn hot. :D
I can't even seem to put what you made me feel in this chapter into words. But wow. You are an amazing writer. I could feel everything about Blaine's confusing feelings about being in love with Kurt, his sadness and anger about his family. The smut was extremely well-written too. And the last line has literally made me sick with worry.
O.O fuck. This can't be good can it? I was going to talk about how I love Blaine and all that but the end distracted me. Something bad's about to happen.
Oh noo. :( Who opened the door? Now I'm freaked. But fantastic job. Totally flawless.
Oh my gosh, I'm so addicted to angst and badboy!Blaine!!! Can't wait for the next chapter!!
WHAT?! NO. NO. NO. NO. GAHHHHHH
omg don't leave it like that! :( this was amazing but aldjbajsldbnalsjkdnb
No! Not a cliffhanger! Especially one where it looks like they're going to be beaten. it'll just make Blaine withdraw more! All that progress in the relationship though! Gahhhhh
wHDGHU:WijtwrIJOrtwihor wiurtw ihir oiotuy really Zav. really?!?!?!?! again with the cliff hangers, guh you are killing me man! you're a genius and smut god and etc. etc.
Wow. My heart aches for this. At first I was a bit thrown off track over how your Blaine is so different than the show's Blaine, but once it became clear, that you weren't just going for the provocative contrast of making him as much contrary in appearance than the show, but that you actually developped him as a different character... I was reading with my jaw hanging open, and shedding the occasional tear, once it became clear very soon what anamazing humanly realistic multilayered character you were presenting with this story. And taking the reader along in the journey going from being annoyed and intrigued to peel off layer by layer. It is artfully done, with a deep insight into the human psyche, I feel, and it just sucks you in emotionally. This story does in no way take the easy walk, and I am so glad that you let it develop so slowly, because with that much shit having happened to Blaine, how deeply screwed up he just is by his experiences, you don't just recover from something like this, it shapes you for life. But there's still is a hope for happiness, and who other than Kurt to be empathic and sensitive enough to not lose patience and see beyond the surface. I also like, sad as it is, how little the authorities, teachers, adults can get a grip on him, it just shows the sad limitations of that system, of human interaction, really, because you can't really blame them for being overextended by his mechanisms of self-defence, it' just the sad reality, that it takes so much energy invested to work and get through that, as Kurt realizes, when you don't even know if you are strong enough ourself, or if you even can help in the way that you want so bad, or if your help will be accepted because healing is painful and takes effort. It touches me so much, because so often children are so screwed up by the human failures of their parents or adults around them, and of course, they're only screwed up humans themselves. Each and everyone would be worth investing time and help in them regaining some sort of emotionally healthy balance, a chance on happiness, but often enough it just is too much for the party willing to help, because good intentions alone barely do it. The reality is just so much harsher, and sometimes not even love is enouh to save another person. I also find interesting how this observation of human interactions or the strange vaccuum of them missing is continued in the way even Kurt's friends seem strangers to him mostly, too invested and caught up in their own problems to really see, for example that the way Blaine is treating Kurt in the beginning really is not okay, hidden intentons being what they may, you even put it like it somewhere along, he is (borderline) sexually harrassing Kurt, and once again noone seems to really notice. With how you were discribing Blaine, with all the shit he's been true, I sometimes felt that he acted like someone sexually traumatized himself, building his selfesteem on his sexual performances, kind of obsessive in them, using it as a form of currency, the only way of expressing himself that he thinks someone else would be interested in, stills disconnected though it all, not even realizing the errors of his ways, because that is how he learned relationships function... Well, I think with all the other stuff he's been through, the absence of persons to emotionally relate to, making his first sexual experiences so very young age and probably not in an healthy environment, it can just do that to do. I'll stop the ramble now, because I don't feel all about his layers has to be explained and analysed, it suffices that you portay them so diligently and sensitively. Kurt's as well. Thank you for that. It just breaks my heart what people in this world do to others, and how much just goes wrong and always will. But I really like how you go about it, inspiring hope, but showing just how rocky the path is, just how frail and fragile we are underneath our outer appearances. I think this story is oustanding, and I am curiously awaiting your next updates.
MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!! I CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE!!
OH ZANE
Cliffhangers are EVIL!
WHAT YOU CANNOT STOP HERE!!!! AW!!! I'm dying now great!!! EVIL!!! that's what you are :((( Loving it! I L.O.V.E. blaine's pov its the best thing ever, but its awesome cause its not done often hehe hint hint. still needs to know why he got that ankle thingy though! And stop with the dead mother i cant stop crying HU! He found her dead... i wanna die in side :(
PLEASEEEE WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!
This chapter was so sweet and so d'aww and my heart was pretty much squealing throughout all the dialogue. And then I read the last line and ohshitohshitohshit THIS CAN'T BE GOOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME. But I love this hahahAhh.
Uh oh!
Oh my god. I love how deep Blaine's past goes. And ah, what's gonna happen next? Best chapter yet.
Omg I'm reading GYOW again and it's also better than the first time I've read it :') it always makes me cry so much. I will never thank you enough for this fic. It means the world to me <3 kisses from Italy! :) -Ilaria
Awesome chapter and I'm hoping to hell that's Carole and not like... those drunk jerks.