Bittersweet Memories
Zavocado
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Bittersweet Memories: Chapter 3


T - Words: 3,699 - Last Updated: Jun 02, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 29/29 - Created: Apr 03, 2012 - Updated: Jun 02, 2012
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Author's Notes: Oop, here's chapter three. Forgive any incoherency in this note. I'm half asleep and kind of out of it. Chapter 4 will probably be up by... Thursday or so. I'm going to try and update once a week since the chapters are fairly short. Hopefully they stay that short or time between updates will get longer. Mhmm.Enjoy!

By Monday Mike was back at school, and Blaine was glad for it. He was one of the few people at McKinley that Blaine dared to call a friend. On top of that Mike was on the football team, so it lessened Blaine's chances of getting slushied by any jocks if Mike was by his side.

For whatever reason the fact that Mike floated back and forth between the top and bottom of the social hierarchy seemed to go unnoticed ninety percent of the time. Secretly Blaine thought it had something to do with Tina and the Asian Club they were part of that let them get away with something nobody else at McKinley could. According to Mike they didn't pester them because he'd convinced the other football players that all Asian parents arranged their child's marriage to another Asian child while they were still in high school. Since Tina was the only girl at McKinley that fit the bill, she was their choice. Blaine had laughed himself silly when they'd told him, but he couldn't blame them either. The lie made both of their lives easier. Mike wasn't forced to choose between Glee and football, and Tina didn't get slushied by the team.

A small fleet of paper airplanes fluttered down onto Blaine's desk as Mrs. Wilkins droned on about derivatives at the front of the room. Calculus and Chemistry were the only two classes he shared with Mike, but it was nice to have a friend around for a few hours. A few desks to his right Mike snickered, and glanced over at him, eyes twinkling. Despite how bored he was, Blaine smiled slightly and unfolded the closest plane that was marked with a one.

"Is it just me" Blaine read silently. He unfolded the second one and read it. "Or does Wilkins's new hair-do" he tugged the third one apart to finish the sentence, "make her look like medusa?"

Blaine snorted loudly, attracting a few funny looks from the people sitting around him, but then the bell rang and he was quickly forgotten. Mrs. Wilkins, her tangle of auburn braids swaying alarmingly, called out the page for their assignment as students started to hurry out the door. Mike and him circled around the rows of desks to the door, laughing at just how accurate the note had been.

"Blaine? Mike? A word before you go."

They froze in the doorway, exchanging a nervous glance, positive they'd been caught, but not sure what had given them away. Mrs. Wilkins was seated at her desk when they turned around.

"I've got a geometry student who is looking for a tutor," she said without preamble. "You two are the brightest math students I have, and I was wondering if either of you would be interested in helping him out."

Blaine stiffened at her words. Typically any student who needed help, especially if they searched out the teacher for it, was a jock. At least in Blaine's experience they were, because he'd tutored other students before and it had been nothing short of a disaster. Last year he'd helped one of the football guys, Azimio, with his biology class, and had ended up being ignored for the hour they spent together in the library. The moment four o'clock had hit the other boy had vanished, and Blaine had been cornered by him and a dozen other slushy-wielding jocks on the front steps of the school ten minutes later.

Needless to say he wasn't a fan of tutoring, even if he did like to teach and help others. When the others he was helping were his chief tormentors it never meant anything good for him.

Mrs. Wilkins was staring up at them hopefully as a few students started to wander in for fourth block.

"I don't think I can," Mike decided, looking slightly guilty because, like Blaine, he always did what he could to help. Blaine was pretty sure part of Mike's guilt was directed at him, too. Mike was very aware of how most tutoring sessions ended for him. "I've got football Mondays and Wednesdays. Games on Friday, conditioning over the weekend and Glee Club on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I just don't have the time right now. I'm sorry."

Sometimes it amazed Blaine that Mike could do so much in a week's time. He did plenty, too, between Glee, all of his AP classes, practicing all of his various instruments and boxing outside of school, but he still felt lazy when he compared his schedule to Mike's.

"Would you be interested Blaine?" Mrs. Wilkins asked as Mike waved and left the room.

His first instinct was to scream no, but he forced it down quickly. He couldn't believe he was about to agree to this again, but maybe it was his guilt over the private joke he and Mike had just shared that was sealing his fate. Mrs. Wilkins was one of the nicest teachers at McKinley, and even in private he felt bad if he made fun of her in any way.

"Sure, Mrs. Wilkins. I've got Glee Tuesdays and Thursdays, but I'm free the rest of the week," Blaine answered, resigning himself to another disastrous tutoring stint with one of McKinley's jocks.

"That's fine, Blaine. Thank you so much for doing this, and as usual you'll get extra credit for your time. He should be here in a few minutes," Mrs. Wilkins babbled, sounding relieved. "He came to me last week desperate to find someone to help him. Last year he nearly failed before he tried to find someone to help him, but this year he's being proactive since he knows math isn't his strong suit."

Blaine nodded disinterestedly as more students filed inside. Thirty seconds before the bell rang a trio of jocks strolled in and Blaine's stomach plummeted. Noah Puckerman, David Karofsky, and Finn Hudson. Great. Two of his biggest tormentors, outside of the Cheerios, and the star quarterback. If this was how his Monday was starting, then this was going to be a bad week.

"Finn?" Mrs. Wilkins called as the bell rang. She waved him over and while Blaine was relieved it was him instead of Karofsky or Puckerman, he was also struck by how huge the other boy was. It wouldn't even take one of Finn's arms to crush him to dust. His eyes were just level with the Leatherman jacket draped over Finn's shoulders. "This is Blaine Anderson. He's agreed to tutor you a few afternoons a week."

"Sweet, dude," Finn said, actually looking thrilled at the prospect. "When are you free to get started? I uh... I've got a lot of questions."

Blaine gazed at him, at the earnest, almost eager smile on his face. This had to be some sort of trap. There was no way Finn Hudson, star quarterback and Quinn Fabray's trophy boyfriend, was being nice to him. "I'm free after school today," Blaine offered quietly.

"Yeah? I've got practice until five, but we can meet at my place after," Finn proposed. "Here, I'll give you the address." Finn swung his backpack around, nearly smacking Blaine in the face in the process. After a few moments of digging around, Finn pulled out a chewed up pencil and a notebook. He scribbled down his address, tore it out, and handed the page to Blaine. "Is six good for you?"

Blaine nodded as he took the offered paper. At least Finn was one of the nicer jocks, though most of that seemed to stem from his inherent cluelessness. Mike spoke highly of him most days, so maybe he'd lucked out for once. They wouldn't be on school grounds either, so the need to intimidate him wouldn't be as strong, and there wouldn't be any slushies on hand.

As Finn shuffled off to his seat and Mrs. Wilkins wrote Blaine a note for his next teacher, he glanced down to see where he'd be heading tonight.

His breath caught in his throat as he read the address. This had to be a mistake. Finn had had one of his incredibly stupid moments and written down someone else's address. But as Mrs. Wilkins handed him his excuse note, he remembered one thing he'd forgotten about Finn Hudson.

His mother, Carole, the nice woman Blaine remembered from Cub Scouts, was married to Burt Hummel. The address clutched in his fist was Kurt's. For the first time in over two years he was going to the place he had once considered his home.


"– and then we'll have Broadway karaoke before we bring out the cake," Kurt finished, a happy flush high on his cheeks. "It's going to be great!"

Blaine nodded dazedly, his eyes following the way Kurt's hands clapped together in excitement. He relaxed back into the couch as the Ohio State game continued to play on the screen, but his eyes remained fixed on Kurt's smile. His stomach squirmed oddly.

Burt was sitting in the armchair next to them, eyes fixed on the game. Normally Blaine would be just as focused, but Kurt was talking to him right now. A month ago that wouldn't have made a difference, but something weird had been happening to him lately that made Kurt extremely fascinating. Something that thought all the simple little things Kurt did were worthy of making his stomach give a pleasant swoop.

Kurt smiled brightly and grabbed his hand. A warmth spread through Blaine at the contact, and he smiled, too, despite how stupid he felt for not being able to tear his eyes away from his friend. His best friend, nothing more, he had to remind himself. "I'm going to go get my scrapbook for everything!"

With a final squeeze of Blaine's hand Kurt rushed off to his room, and Blaine was left staring after him. The crowd roared loudly on the television and then it cut to commercial. When Blaine finally looked away from the basement bedroom's door, he found Burt staring at him thoughtfully. Blaine gulped loudly at the look. The fact that he might be in love with his best friend wasn't something that Burt should know. Not yet at least. Even Cooper didn't know, but that was only because Cooper was away at college.

Blaine turned away quickly, trying to mask his nervousness. He tugged his legs up onto the couch, hugging them to his chest as the commercials continued to roll across the screen. He was being stupid about all of this. There was no way he was... that he had feelings for Kurt. He was fourteen and had just come to terms with being gay. So what if Kurt made the most adorable face when he fixed his hair in his locker mirror. Or if his fingers squeezed Blaine's palm just perfectly while his thumb tangled around Blaine's and made his stomach flop around. That didn't have to mean anything. He'd probably just eaten something still alive at lunch... every day for a month. Right.

"He sure is excited about planning this party for Cooper," Burt acknowledged.

Blaine nodded, his skin crawling uncomfortably as he caught a glimpse of Burt still watching him thoughtfully. "We're both really excited for his graduation."

"You'll both be starting high school soon, too," Burt remarked, and Blaine thought it was an odd way to change topics. He talked with Burt all the time while they were watching football. It was a typical Friday night of them. Blaine spent the night and joined in on their Friday night family dinner, but this seemed odd still. Perhaps Burt had realized what Blaine was slowly beginning to understand.

The very thought made Blaine cringe. Burt didn't even know Kurt was gay, let alone that he was. This was one secret he was going to have to keep to himself.

"You're always welcome here, you know that, right, Blaine?"

Blaine startled at the sincerity behind those words, and looked up from where he'd been plucking at the end of his pajama pants. "I– thanks, sir," Blaine stammered. At least Burt liked him. That made things simpler for... "eventually". Not that he was planning on say anything to Kurt anytime soon. The very thought made him feel nauseous. What if Kurt didn't like him back? Then four years of friendship would go down the drain.

"Hey, none of that 'sir' crap," Burt grumbled, sitting up straighter and turning towards him. "Since when do you call me 'sir' anyway? Most days I'm lucky if I get more than a 'dude' out of you."

Blaine immediately tried to laugh it off, even though his cheeks were burning. "Just a habit, I guess," he mumbled. "From being around my dad a lot, you know."

Burt nodded a little, still watching him closely. "You're a good kid," Burt remarked. "So is Kurt. You're both real great."

Not sure where this conversation was going, Blaine just stared over at Burt. He never got to talk like this with his own father. Hell, his father didn't have the slightest clue that he was gay, and tended to get on his case for everything, no matter how great he did. Cooper knew, but Cooper was a different story. He'd wanted to throw a party as soon as Blaine had told him.

"Kurt can be kind of... " Burt paused, searching for the right word, "oblivious sometimes. Especially like now when he's got his mind wrapped around that party planning stuff."

"He likes to overkill it a bit," Blaine agreed quietly as the game returned on the screen.

"He remembers what's important before the end," Burt continued, giving Blaine a pointed look. "It might take him a while, but he gets there eventually."

Blaine mouthed wordlessly at him, because he knew he'd been caught. Burt had figured it out, and he didn't even seem mad or particularly surprised. It almost felt like he was encouraging Blaine to tell Kurt, but Burt didn't even know they were gay.

The soft clomp of footfalls echoed up the stairs and then Kurt appeared through the doorway, a large scrapbook, with papers and brightly colored streams pouring out of the sides, in hand.

Without even realizing it, his face had morphed into an enormous grin. Blaine glanced at Burt, catching his eyes once more before the older man turned back to the television. Maybe being in love with Kurt wouldn't be so scary after all.


At precisely six o'clock Blaine knocked on the Hummel's front door. He assumed they were just "The Hummels" now, except for Finn of course. He hadn't gone to the wedding last month, hadn't even been given an invitation to the event. From what he understood Kurt had planned the entire thing out himself so he hadn't really expected one. An acknowledge of his existent on Kurt's part, beyond a weekly slushy, was preposterous.

The heavy thump of Finn's feet clomped closer to the door, and Blaine could imagine the larger boy running from the little kitchen down the hall up to the front door. He'd done the same thing countless times back in middle school, had tripped coming around the corner once and earned himself a black eye when he'd tumbled into the frame of the bathroom door.

As the door was flung open Blaine hitched his bag up a little higher, and tried to smile despite the nostalgia he was feeling. Finn grinned down at him and ushered him inside, patting him roughly on the shoulder.

"Hey, dude! I ordered us a pizza, too," Finn greeted. "Hope you like pepperoni and sausage."

Surprised by the gesture, Blaine stumbled after Finn, down the hall that was exactly as he reminded it. The same little table pushed against the wall next to the door; the same little glass dish where everyone put their keys, much fuller now than it had been two years ago. A coat rack nailed to the wall, and farther down a line of picture frames hung on the wall.

"Sounds good to me," Blaine finally answered as Finn disappeared around the entry way into the kitchen. He lingered back in the hall for a moment, staring up at the four pictures. Kurt's mother was still there in the middle right, looking down at him with a kind smile. To her right was the same picture of Burt and Kurt from about ten years ago. On the left were two new pictures. One of Kurt's latest school picture, so different from the eighth grade one that had last hung there during Blaine's last visit. Kurt was in his Cheerio's uniform, looking arrogant and haughty. The second one was of their new family, all in wedding attire. It hurt to see that one, to see just a brief glimpse of Kurt as he remembered him. Because Kurt was Kurt in that frozen moment. His smile open, carefree, and just as gorgeous as Blaine remembered.

"Hey, we're in here," Finn called, poking his head out into the hallway from the kitchen.

With a final glance at the photographs Blaine headed into the kitchen. As soon as he stepped into the room he took in the immediate differences. A new kitchen table, a small extension out into the backyard that had created enough room for an island counter. Finn's bag and books were already scattered on the table.

"Do you want something to drink?" Finn asked him as Blaine started to pull out a notebook and his calculator.

"Water's fine," Blaine answered.

Finn ended up giving him water and a can of root beer, then he dropped down and flipped his geometry book open. "So how do these angle things work exactly?"

Blaine took a swig of root beer, surprised that Finn actually really wanted help. He'd assumed he'd have to force the other boy to pay attention, but Finn seemed to be eager to learn. It was definitely a first. That and the hospitality that he was being shown by a jock who wasn't Mike.

"First thing to know about triangle is that the three interior angles will always add up to one-eighty," Blaine began, dragging his chair around the table to start guiding Finn through the chapter.

They were an hour in, eating pizza and making a lot of progress, when the front door opened. Blaine flinched a little, because odds were it was Burt or Kurt. While he knew he didn't want to see Kurt, he wasn't sure about Burt. He'd loved the man as if he was a second father, but he had no idea what Kurt had told his father once he had stopped appearing at their house multiple times a week.

"You home Finn?" Burt's voice called out as the front door snapped shut.

"In the kitchen," Finn hollered back. He turned to Blaine. "That's Burt, my stepdad. Is it cool if we take a break?"

Blaine gave a jerky nod, and Finn scrambled out of his seat and grabbed another slice of pizza. From the hall Blaine heard the sounds of Burt taking off his coat, dropping his keys into the glass dish, and then clomping down the hall to the kitchen. He fidgeted in his seat nervously as Finn dropped down next to him.

"Any idea what we're doing for din– "

Burt stopped mid word as he stepped into view and caught sight of Blaine. Terrified by the reaction he might get – at the potential rejection or anger – Blaine flinched and started to curl in on himself. At least until a joyous roar echoed around the kitchen and Burt yanked him from his chair and crushed him against his chest.

"It's so great to see you, kiddo!" Burt shouted happily as he nearly hauled Blaine off his feet. Barely able to draw breath because of how tightly Burt was hugging him, Blaine spluttered helplessly. "Oh, sorry!"

A second later Blaine was set back on his feet, and Burt was grinning down at him. "H- hi," Blaine choked out, gasping for air.

"I didn't know you knew Burt," Finn said, pouting slightly.

"I didn't know you two knew each other," Burt replied, glancing back and forth between them.

Blaine rubbed his chest soothingly a few times and said, "I'm his math tutor."

Burt looked back and forth between them again and then settled into one of the island's barstools. He grabbed a slice of pizza and then spun around to face them. Blaine dropped back into his chair, trying to ignore the way Burt was looking him over.

"You're certainly grown up," Burt acknowledged quietly after a few moments. "How's Cooper?"

"Off in Hollywood," Blaine told him. "He's got some gig in a commercial right now."

"That's great, really great," Burt replied. He glanced at the clock. "Kurt should be home soon if you want to– "

"I should go," Blaine blurted, snapping his notebook shut and sliding the cover onto his calculator. "I promised my mother I'd help her with... um, something."

"You wanna meet again on Wednesday?" Finn asked as Blaine stuffed his things into his bag and stood up. Burt and Finn stood up as well.

"Sure," Blaine nodded, taking a few steps backwards towards the hall. At the last second he caught a glimpse of Burt's face and he registered one thing as he turned around to the hall – disappointment. For some reason it felt so much worse coming from Burt than his own father.

Finn was trailing after him, thanking him profusely as they headed to the door. But as Blaine reached out for the doorknob the one thing he'd been dreading happened. Seemingly of its own accord the knob jingled as someone unlocked it from the other side. Blaine froze, his stomach twisting up, and sweat breaking out over his neck.

A moment later the door was pushed open and Blaine bit his lip, fighting between the urge to hide behind Finn and spit angrily in the Cheerio's face. Kurt stepped over the threshold, looking pristine in his uniform, phone pressed against his ear as he kicked snow of his shoes.

" – yeah, sure, Britt. I'll call you lat– "

Kurt looked up and met his eyes. For the first time in two years Blaine found himself staring into the galaxy-like eyes that had been his entire world. Even now something tightened in his chest as Kurt's mouth fell open in surprise. Despite the distance of time, social standing, and his own anger at the other boy one thing definitely hadn't changed if the sensation swooping through his stomach was any indication. Try as he might to hate Kurt Hummel, he couldn't even stop himself from loving him. Maybe he didn't even want to.


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you've killed me

ZANE! Would you kindly stop breaking my heart with your amazing writing thank you... beautifully written as always. Looking forward to reading kurts reaction