Bittersweet Memories
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Bittersweet Memories: Chapter 20


T - Words: 3,858 - Last Updated: Jun 02, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 29/29 - Created: Apr 03, 2012 - Updated: Jun 02, 2012
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Author's Notes: A few hours later than I'd planned, but it's still Sunday somewhere! And as this story goes, one time goes one direction and the other does the opposite. I suppose the angst is a little easier to deal with when its in their past, though, because then there's still the rest of the present to bring it back together. Also, I haven't even read through this or edited, shh! Just wanted to get it out as promised since I know you guys are eager to see how things go, so yeah. Probably more typos than usual.I'll be focusing on OAFIYA for a few days after this, but I'll try to get the next update up by Saturday. No promises, of course, but I'll do my best.Enjoy!

Blaine's jaw was still on the floor when the bell rang a minute later. He couldn't believe what had just happened. It didn't seem possible that Kurt had just jumped in front of him and taken the slushy meant for him.

But he had, and all the proof was seeping into Kurt's uniform and dripping onto the floor.

"What the hell is your problem, Hummel? I thought we were friends!" Quinn hissed as the whispering crowd around them slowly began to dissipate.

She took another step forward, looking ready to smack Kurt across the face, but Blaine stepped it and caught the hand.

"Leave him alone," Blaine snarled, shoving her hand away from them as Kurt remained motionless behind him. "If you were any sort of real friend you would have listened to him just now."

Santana shifted in the corner of Blaine's eyes and he snapped his gaze over to her. There was still a slushy in her hand, though she looked just as amazed but everything that was transpiring as he was. Blaine didn't care right now though. She could throw that slushy in Quinn's face and it wouldn't make a difference to him at the moment. All that matter was Kurt and getting him somewhere safe and away from all of these eyes still peaking around doors.

"Go ahead," Blaine spat, glaring at Santana. "Might as well dump that one of me and having a matching set."

"I– "

"No? Fine, whatever," Blaine continued before she could stammer out anything else.

It was surprisingly strange for Santana to be speechless, but as Blaine hooked his arm through one of Kurt's and pulled him away from the scene she didn't say anything. All she did was watch them disappear while Quinn stamped her foot.

"You better get your head out of your ass," she hollered after them. "I'm not covering up for you on this, Hummel!"

Kurt's face was still frozen is shock when Blaine spared him a glance. It was streaked with the remains of the slushy's red dye, and no doubt ice cold to the touch. Blaine quickly steered Kurt into the boys' bathroom as the late bell rang.

"You– I can't believe– " Blaine began, fumbling over his words as he stopped them next to the sinks and stared over at Kurt.

Being addressed seemed to finally break Kurt from his shock. He hissed in pain, his arms relaxing from their tense position.

"I– my eyes– " Kurt groaned, reaching up and digging the heels of his hands into them. "F- forgot to close them– "

Tears started streaming down Kurt's cheeks as he rubbed furiously to get the dye out. Blaine tossed his bag under the nearest sink and turned it on, guiding Kurt over to it and starting to flush out his eyes. As Kurt washed the irritating dye from his eyes, Blaine ran his fingers through Kurt's soft hair, pulling chunks of ice free and dropping them into the sink.

"Y- you really shouldn't have," Blaine mumbled awkwardly as Kurt dunked his entire head under the stream of water.

There was no response to his words, but since Kurt's ears were full of thundering water he doubted he'd been heard. Instead he pulled his bag out from under the sink and unzipped one of the side pockets. He unfolded the towel he kept tucked inside and kicked his bag back under the sink.

"Here," he said, brushing Kurt's ear with his fingers. "You can use this to dry your hair."

Startled at the contact Kurt jumped, spluttering as he swallowed a mouthful of water.

"Wh- what?" he asked, using the back of his hand wipe the water from his eyes.

"Here," Blaine repeated, pressing the towel against Kurt's cheek and rubbing it dry. "Let me help," he decided as Kurt stood up and turned towards him.

Blaine shut the faucet off, and gently patted down Kurt's face before rubbing the towel through his hair softly.

"Y- you– thank you," Blaine murmured sincerely as Kurt's eyes drifted shut from the tenderness of Blaine's motions.

"I should have done it a long time ago," Kurt replied quietly, his expression shifting quickly from peaceful to one full of regret.

It was in that moment, with Kurt standing before him, sopping wet, lashes damp as they fanned across his cheek that Blaine realized how easy it was for himself to forgive Kurt for everything. Even if the past would always be there to remind them of that one slip up that had led to countless more, Kurt was trying to fix them, to mend what he'd ripped from Blaine's heart, and Blaine knew he'd absolutely forgiven Kurt for that fateful Friday morning in October. His own forgiveness, while important in the long run, wasn't what Kurt truly needed to really free himself from this life he'd fortressed himself into. He needed his own forgiveness more than anything else, and so Blaine kept his realization to himself.

"Don't... let's just skip out so you can go home and change?" Blaine offered, bending to pick his bag up.

"I um, m- my dad's home and he'll be mad if I– even after– " Kurt gestured at his clothes helplessly, but Blaine nodded and did something he hadn't done in a long time.

He eased Kurt into his arms and squeezed him tightly, breathing in the familiar, unchanged scent of vanilla and jasmine. A hint of tart cherry lingered about Kurt from the slushy, but Blaine only smiled at the addition. It was a stark reminder of what had just happened, and while Blaine didn't like that Kurt had been slushied, he was incredibly grateful for what it had shown him.

"We'll go to my house," Blaine decided as he pulled back and brushed several damp strands of brown hair back off of Kurt's forehead. "My parents aren't home until late on Fridays."

Kurt nodded slowly, looking uncertain but Blaine's arms still resting around his waist. But Blaine just smiled shyly and stepped back, slipping his hand into Kurt's and leading him back out into the empty hallway.

The only way for Kurt to start to forgive himself would be if Blaine let the other boy into his heart once again. After what he'd just witnessed Blaine didn't doubt how safe his trust was with Kurt. Not anymore.


 

Blaine ran. He shouldered his way through the crowd that had gathered, barely aware of where he was going or who was shoving him as he tried to make his way to somewhere empty, somewhere safe. Tears clouded his vision, both from the slushy dye in his eyes and the overwhelming pain and sorrow collapsing inside of his chest.

This had to be a nightmare, some wild, insane figment of his imagination. He had to still be asleep in Kurt's room, scrawled out of Kurt's bed with the other boy's warmth soaking into his skin.

"Watch it, fag!"

A shoulder checked Blaine hard as he stumbled along, then a pair of hands pressed into his shoulder blades and shoved him. Blaine hit the locker bay as the bell rang, his glasses snapped and then slid off his face. He followed their descent to the ground, hearing another crunch as the blurry outline of the jocks who had shoved him high- fived and walked away laughing.

As the hall cleared out Blaine fumbled for his glasses, his hand finally landing on them, but as he raised them to his face he realized the plastic lens had been cracked and the bridge had snapped. Tears still streaming down his cheeks he groped around for the other half, picked it up and then folded both pieces up and stuffed them into his cold, wet pocket.

For a few minutes he rubbed furiously at his eyes, and then climbed to his feet. Blaine might be upset, but he knew well enough not to linger in the halls or too long. A teacher or hall monitor would be along soon and want to know why he was there, covered in slushy with broken glasses and tears on his cheeks.

There was a brief second where Blaine debated ducking into the closest boys' bathroom, but he nixed the idea immediately. The dye would be out of his eyes soon enough from his crying, and his clothes didn't matter at all right now.

Kurt had turned on him. In front of everyone he'd shied after from both himself and Blaine.

It was a few seconds before Blaine realized he was standing on the steps outside of the cafeteria, the fierce October wind blowing his soaked clothes against his skin and making him shiver. He ducked around the corner and slid down beside the railing, drawing his knees up to his chest and burying his face against his thighs.

Blaine cried for a long time then, great heaving sob clawing their way out of his chest. Inside first block changed to second, and he could hear the other students thundering through the halls, laughing and talking and enjoying their Friday. But they felt years away to Blaine. What they had right now wouldn't be something Blaine experienced until he'd left this town and hatred behind. Only it wouldn't be with Kurt now. He'd be on his own, would have to hope he survived the next four years to make it that far.

The muffle sound of Duran Duran's Rio reached his ears from his pocket. He wiped his eyes furiously for several seconds, trying to control his breathing as he tugged his phone out. Normally he wouldn't answer during school hours, wouldn't even had the ringer on, but in all their nervousness before school this morning he'd forgotten.

"H- h- hello?" Blaine choked out, hiccupping loudly at the end.

"Squirt, you're never gonna guess wh– Blaine?" Cooper's voice went from ecstatic to worried immediately as Blaine tried in vain to stifle the sob that had made its way out of his mouth. "What's wrong, B? Did– is Mama and Dad, okay? What's going on– "

"N- no, they're f- fine," Blaine stammered, sniffling and trying his best to stop his tears, but he couldn't.

They kept falling, and Kurt's face keep popping into his head. Not the one he'd just seen in the hallway, but the anger he'd seen not too long ago when Kurt had been slushied. The fury and the new arrogance that being a Cheerio had given him. Where had his best friend gone? Why did his ribs feel like they were caving in on his heart and crushing it?

"B, please, y- you're scaring me, Squirt," Cooper said, sounding a little frantic.

"I- I- It's– Kurt he– they wanted him t- to slushy m- me and he d- did," Blaine choked out, his sobs growing louder as he forced the words out. They tasted bitter and false in his mouth, but the image of Kurt's hand retracting as the slushy dribbled down Blaine's face flashed through his mind. His chest burned at the memory, like bile was rising up his throat.

"What?" Cooper said in disbelief. "He– but– Blaine– "

A hoarse, heart wrenching sob echoed around Blaine. "I don't wanna feel anymore," Blaine said in a strangled voice. "It hurts, Coop, m- make it stop."

"Hey, shh, buddy," Cooper tried to soothe, but Blaine could hear the fear and disbelief still lingering in his voice. "Did you call Mama to come get you?"

"No," Blaine murmured, taking a deep breath and trying to control himself some. "I'm already g- going to be in trouble because some guys shoved me into t- the l- lockers and s- stomped on my g- glasses."

"J- just go home, bud, okay?" Cooper insisted gently. "I'll do you want me to call Mama for you? I'll tell her not to ask a lot fo questions or anything... "

"I–" Blaine's words were cut off by a hiccup, but he gave a shaky nod, and continued, "O- okay. D- don't hang up, Coop, please."

"I– "Cooper immediately realized the conflict with Blaine's request, and after a second Blaine did too, but he didn't retract his words. The thought of Cooper hanging up, of his older brother cutting him off for even a second made the pain radiating through him stab sharply. "Just hold on– Mark! Lemme use your phone– "

Blaine heard the sound of another man's voice, muffled and confused as Cooper's end of the line blared with static for a moment.

"No– my brother– just two second, okay? I've gotta call my mom for him– because he's in bad shape right now. Just let me use– "

Blaine hugged himself tighter, and pressed his face against his thighs, listening to Cooper's half of the conversation with their mother as his breathing slowly returned to normal. A few tears still leaked out of his eyes, but his head felt swollen and his face was numb.

"You still there, B?" Cooper's voice asked, louder now. "Mama's on her way over, okay? Where are you? Can you make it to the office?"

"I- I'm outside t- the cafeteria," Blaine hiccupped, wiping his nose. "N- never made it to c- class."

"All right, just keep an eye out for her," Cooper told him.

"D- don't hang up, o- okay?" Blaine whispered brokenly. "I c- can't– please– "

"Shh, I'm not going anywhere. It's going to be fine," Cooper assured him.

But it wasn't, and Blaine already knew that because he'd adamantly told Kurt the exact same thing only a few hours ago. Nothing was going to be all right because his best friend, the boy he'd been madly in love with for months, had done what they'd sworn to never do to each other. His heart was shattering like glass in his chest, cutting into every crevasse of himself until only a swollen numbness was left.


 

Blaine scrubbed relentlessly at the red stain on Kurt's Cheerios top. He'd been at it for almost twenty minutes while Kurt showered in Blaine's bathroom to get the dye off his skin. They'd been lucky sneaking out of school and then finding that Cooper was still asleep in his old room.

He huffed in annoyance at the persistence of the stain and stray the stain remover on it a few more times, gave it another rough scrubs, and then draped it back over his desk chair. Once Kurt was out of the bathroom he'd rinse it out and then hang it in their to dry, but he seriously doubted that the stain would disappear even if he washed it. He'd had more than enough experience with slushy stains to know a hopeless one.

The shower suddenly turned off in the bathroom, and Blaine's stomach jolted. He scrambled to his feet, not entirely sure why he was so nervous all of a sudden. Kurt had seen his room countless times before, and he'd been the one to invite Kurt over just now, but there was something so... different about this moment.

Shuffling sounds echoed out from the bathroom and Blaine tugged at his sweater, trying not to imagine the state of undress Kurt was currently sporting. That was only a bad idea, and definitely not appropriate given the conversation he wanted to have with Kurt once he was back in Blaine's room.

After five minutes the door creaked open slowly and Kurt's damp head of hiar poked out.

"Um, d- do you want me to just hang the towel in here?" Kurt asked uncertainly.

"Oh! Yeah, just there's a second hook on the back of the door," Blaine told him quickly, hopping up and hurrying over. He took the damp towel from Kurt's hands and stepped into the steamy bathroom to hang it up. "I tried to scrub the stain out of your uniform, but... "

Blaine gestured helplessly towards where he'd left it and Kurt frowned at the sight.

"Coach Sylvester is going to murder me," he grumbled, moving past Blaine and holding it up. "It's completely ruined."

His words barely penetrated Blaine's mind. With a gulp Blaine tried to take his gaze away from Kurt's body, now clad in Blaine's pajama pants and an old, ratty shirt that had once been Cooper's. Face hot at the sight of Kurt in his clothing, Blaine shuffled quickly into his room as Kurt set the uniform top back down and twisted his hands nervously.

"Um, thanks for... yanno, helping me out," Kurt muttered.

"Why'd you do it?" Blaine asked softly, neither acknowledging Kurt's gratitude or brushing it off. "Not that I'm not glad for it, but why now?"

"I... I don't know," Kurt said honestly, his arms hugging himself tightly. "She came up to me and said she was going back into the routine and I just... I couldn't bear the thought of it. Not after how much trust you've put in me, not when... when you mean so much to me now. I- I couldn't let you down like that again, Blaine."

"You didn't," Blaine assured him, staring down at his knees for a few moments. "If anything you made me realize giving you another chance was one of the bet decisions I've ever made."

"R- really?" Kurt whispered, eyes wide with surprise as Blaine looked back up at him. He gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed next to Blaine. "So we're still friends?"

"Yeah," Blaine laughed, the sound light and carefree. "We're definitely friends."

Without thinking he reached over and brushed a damp strand of hair out of Kurt's eyes. It was a surprising moment when their eyes met. No uncertainty or fear, just contentment and a comfort Blaine had felt in a long time.

"I've missed you," he murmured, scooting closer. "Sometimes I forget how much... "

A single tear trickled down Kurt's cheek at his words, but he brushed it away with a small smile. "I just want us to get back what we had. I just want to make you smile and laugh and feel safe like you used to."

Blaine moved in for a hug, not gripping or clinging, but relaxed and soothing. They ended up laying back on the bed after several minutes, holding each other close and murmuring too each other. It wasn't even words or comforting phrases they said, just small sounds full of warmth and a familiar Blaine couldn't name. Kurt's chin was tucked over his shoulder as they lay there, tangled together on their sides.

"You always give the best hugs," Kurt said suddenly, his voice a little watery as Blaine's chest rumbled with a soft laugh.

"And it's weird how you smell like me right now," Blaine replied lightly, but he beamed at Kurt's soft words and pulled back a little until he could stare into Kurt's eyes.

His hand stroked over Kurt's neck and then his cheek, his thumb gently tracing over Kurt's eyebrow, just touching. Needing to feel all of Kurt that he could until he wasn't allowed to anymore.

"I don't mind," Kurt breathed, tilting his head into Blaine's touch. "It's rather nice."

"Everything about you is nice," Blaine remarked, his and coming to rest on Kurt's jaw. His heart was thumping in his chest as Kurt's eyes focused on him. There was something wonderful in those eyes, something that made his toes curl and a wave of pleasant warmth rush through him. He was safe here. Safe and more at ease than he'd ever thought was possible.

Kurt shifted in a little closer, a light of wonder in his eyes as his arm settled around Blaine's waist. "You're making it really hard not to kiss you right now," he murmured, his hot breath brushing over Blaine's cheeks and making his face tingle pleasantly.

"You probably should then," Blaine breathed, nudging his head forehead until the tips of their noses brushed. "I kind of really want you, too."

Kurt's mouth tilted in towards his, capturing his lips in a soft, dry kiss. A thrill ran through Blaine at the touch, his toes curling in his socks as he pressed in closer, eager to keep Kurt's mouth connected to his. To breath in the scent that was uniquely Kurt mingled with the hovering smell of himself.

As Blaine pressed in, carefully easing one hand under Kurt's side and against his back, Kurt kissed him harder, warm air soaking into Blaine's cheek as Kurt exhaled through his nose. Kurt seemed a little least certain about his own hand placement, but at the moment Blaine didn't mind. If this was going where he thought it was, then there'd be plenty of afternoons and weekends spent like this, tangled together and exploring how to please each other.

He pulled back for a second to breathe in deeply, his chest heaving a little at the lack of oxygen. Kurt's mouth sought his out quickly, though, clamping over it, lips together and firm. After several more minutes, Blaine opened his mouth slightly for the first time, tentatively brushing the tip of his tongue over Kurt's lower lip.

A soft moan greeted him, Kurt's lips parting slightly as Blaine pressed in excitedly, his stomach swooping at the sound–

"Skipping out on school are we, Squi– "

Cooper's voice trailed away as they broke apart sharply. Blaine twisted his torso around and glared over at Cooper, who was sporting a devilish grin and only in a crooked pair of boxers.

"At least there's just cause for skipping," Cooper said suddenly, still grinning at them as Kurt buried his face into the pillows in embarrassment. "Th– "

"Cooper, get out!" Blaine snapped, face burning as he adjusted the hem of his sweater.

"Oh, touchy, touchy," Cooper tisked, waving his finger at them teasingly. "You ought to be a bit nicer so I don't tell Mam– "

"Cooper!" Blaine growled, grabbing the football on his night- stand and throwing it at his brother's head. "Get lost!"

Cooper ducked and the football ricocheted off the door behind him and knocked into the dresser.

"Boys, is everything all right up there? Did you find out why Blaine stayed home?" their mother's voice called from downstairs.

Blaine groaned in disbelief as Cooper's grin widen. "Blaine's got a boy in his room!" he hollered back. "And he's wearing Blaine's clothes!"

"COOPER!"

Before Blaine could find anything else to throw at him Cooper dashed out of the room, his thundering footfalls disappearing downstairs.

Blaine collapsed back onto the bed next to Kurt, hot with embarrassment and annoyance. A gentle pair of arms tangled through his left and snuggled closer, and then Kurt was kissing him softly on the cheek. The gesture made Blaine's stomach flop around again, and an enormous, goofy grin spread across his face as his heart all but skipped in his chest.

"I guess we've got some explaining to do," Kurt remarked, resting his head on Blaine's shoulder and tracing little patterns over Blaine's chest with his finger.

"Yeah," Blaine sighed, his eyes drifting shut as Kurt hummed softly against his neck. "I guess we do."

There was still a lot for them to talk over and figure out before school on Monday, but right now Blaine was content. The warmth of Kurt's body was surrounding him and the only thing he really cared to figure out right now was the best revenge for Cooper barging in. Tomorrow they'd really talk about what they were defining themselves as and how to proceed at school, but Blaine already knew his heart was in this, had always been linked to Kurt's really, and while that had once been a huge problem for him he didn't think it was going to be anymore. Kurt's heart was wide open and joining with his own and nothing anyone at McKinley did could change that now.


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*SNIFF* that was beautiful