It took the entirety of Kurt's last week of winter break for him to figure out why he kept feeling worse with every day that passed. He missed Blaine. The sound of the other boy's laughter filtering through his wall from Finn's room, the bright smiles Blaine gave Carole whenever she squeezed his shoulders, and the bond Kurt had seen that still existed between his father and Blaine. But more importantly he missed the feeling – the sensation – he'd barely been aware of until Blaine was gone.

His stomach didn't swoop from a tiny glance in his direction. There was no sudden lightness in his chest when Blaine spoke to him as though nothing had ever gone wrong between them. For eight days there was simply nothing that felt right or certain. There was never a meant where he actually felt good about himself, something he hadn't realized had been missing until Blaine had re-entered his life as more than a target.

As the first day back to school loomed, Kurt dreaded it more than ever. He felt more miserable than he could ever recall at the prospect of never seeing his former best friend again. Even though he'd spent the majority of the past two years gaining his own kicks from Blaine's misery he couldn't imagine the place without Blaine's presence. He couldn't begin to imagine his life without the other boy, in one way or another.

Thursday morning Kurt pulled on his Cheerios uniform slowly, taking time he hadn't given himself since his first day in it. As he smoothed out the creases over his thighs, and carefully adjusted his shirt hem he wondered for the first time why this fabric meant so much to him. It was a generic uniform, after all. Nothing like the rich fabrics he'd once worn, and still cherished and looked at online. Had he really left Blaine behind for this? These clothes wouldn't even matter in two years; nothing about high school would. Was he really fine with being the person who pushed his best friend aside for a few years of being on top of the high school hierarchy?

Santana and Brittany appeared at his side the moment he turned down the main hall. From Brittany he got the customary peck on the cheek and a strong arm looped through his. Santana nodded just slightly in approval. They had to keep up their ruse after all – all three of them depended on it.

"Good to know you've still got things straight," Santana remarked. "I almost invaded your house when I got home yesterday. You ignored me all break."

Kurt winced as Brittany agreed with her girlfriend. "Yeah, Kurt. Why didn't you ever come help me find Lord Tubbington's cigarettes stash?"

"Grounded," Kurt grumbled, tracing his hand over the outfit of his newly returned phone in his pocket. "My uh, dad was pretty upset."

"Oh, did you finally find a three-legged friend to get busy with?" Santana asked in hushed tones, pulling them both over to a little alcove between a locker bay and the corner of the hall. "It's about time you really lost that V-card."

Kurt glared at her. "No, I didn't," he snapped. "And I'll lose it whenever I damn well please, Miss Half-The-School-Has-Tapped-This."

Santana's lips curled in a sneer as Brittany said dreamily, "Nobody's tapped it the way I have."

Santana paused to shoot Brittany a sidelong look, before directing her gaze to Kurt once more. "If you weren't getting your mack on, then why did he ground you? Your dad thinks you're a saint."

A twinge of guilt shot through Kurt at her words. Maybe he had before the break, but he certainly didn't anymore. Now he knew the cruelty Kurt was capable of, he had realized his strong boy he'd tried to raise had tossed all of those teachings aside in order to cower behind a façade.

After casting a look around them to make sure nobody was close enough to hear them over the other students, Kurt murmured, "He... he found out what happened with me and Blaine b- back then."

For a moment Santana almost looked sympathetic, but then her expression went back to its usual aloofness.

"What does he care for?" Santana wondered. "What's it to him if you're friends with hobbit or us? I mean, it's not like the crowds too different. Me and Britt are... inclined in your direction."

"He treated Blaine like he was his own kid," Kurt replied carefully. "He... they both meant a lot to each other. Blaine's dad was never really... " Kurt trailed off and shook his head roughly. What did it matter anymore? Blaine was gone. Off to Dalton to have the life he deserved.

"Yeah, well, it's either him heading for the gay noose," Santana reminded him before dropping her voice, "or us. He'll get over it."

"He made Blaine stay with us through Christmas," Kurt told her suddenly.

He knew Santana understood to some extent his guilt over what had happened with Blaine. While at first she'd been more of an enemy than a friend, they'd managed to bond over their hidden sexualities, and when Kurt had told her that Blaine still kept his secret she'd been impressed by his loyal. It hadn't stopped her from insisting on using the curly haired boy for their biggest target, but in some ways she'd understood that Blaine was a difficult topic, a part of his life he wanted to remember and forget because of his own guilt.

"He– but he said no, right? Right?"

"His parents left him and his brother decided not to come out to visit," Kurt informed her, trying to keep the sadness from his tone. "My dad forced me to go over there after Finn blabbed and when he found out he forced him to stay with us. Blaine wasn't too keen on it either."

"You're not wussing out, though, right?" Santana demanded. "I don't care if you two got all buddy-buddy or jacked each other off or whatever. We stick to how things are or it's our heads on the cutting block. So don't– "

A sudden hush had fallen around them. For one heart stopping moment Kurt thought everyone had been listening in on their conversation, but as he looked around he realized everyone was staring down the hallway towards the main entrance.

"Can everyone else see the unicorn now, too?" Brittany asked hopefully.

Kurt and Santana ignored her, gazing down the hall to where they could see Finn's head moving towards them through the crowd. He didn't understand what his step-brother could be doing to gain so much attention, especially the hushed, uncertain type, but a moment later he didn't have to wonder.

As the crowd parted for Finn to pass by Kurt saw the last person he'd expected to see in the halls of McKinley. Blaine was at Finn's side, looking nervous because of the stares but grateful for the steadying hand on his shoulder.

Mouth hanging open in amazement, Kurt watched the two boys pass, catching a few exchanges words about when Glee Club rehearsals were. Quinn appeared from the same direct a few moments later, pausing at their spot and looking furious.

"What the hell is your step-brother doing, Kurt?" she demanded angrily. "Everyone's going to think he's gay now. Do you know what that makes me? His big, gay, b– "

"Shove it, Fabray," Santana snapped, still staring down the hall to where Finn and Blaine had disappeared. "You said your dad forced him to stay over, huh?" she asked, directing her words to Kurt.

Kurt nodded mutely, still too stunned to speak. He couldn't believe Blaine had returned to McKinley. More importantly he didn't understand why he would do that to himself. A few years ago he'd had a reason to stay, even if that reason had ended up making his life hell. Now he only had torment and Glee to stay for. There was no way Glee was worth that to Blaine, at least Kurt didn't think it was. Of course there was a lot he didn't know about Blaine anymore, but why he'd stepped back into this hell was something Kurt was going to have to find out.

Kurt was practically skipping the next day at school. He'd successfully come out to his father the night before and to his surprise Burt had already suspected and been fine with it. Blaine had been right it seemed, and Kurt was very grateful for it. Now he had to find Blaine and tell him how well things had gone.

But Blaine wasn't at his locker trading out his books. He wasn't in the bathroom nearby or his homeroom waiting for class to start. Confused and slightly worried Kurt dropped his own bag at his seat next to Blaine's and went to scope out the halls. It was a Tuesday which meant Kurt's dad drove him in to school on his way to work while Blaine's mom dropped him off on her way to her book club. As he strolled around people moved aside, some even nodded or smiled at him. Last week the attention had unnerved him, but now he almost enjoyed it. People liked him now, and if they liked him then he could make sure they liked Blaine as well. Things would be better then. Nobody would bother them ever again if he was in charge.

When he didn't find Blaine anywhere in the building he took a look at the clock on the opposite wall. There was still fifteen minutes until the warning bell. With a quick look around to make sure there were no teachers, Kurt pulled out his cell phone and stepped over into the stairwell. He dialed Blaine's number and pressed the phone to his ear.

Maybe Blaine was sick and staying home. He usually texted Kurt to let him know, though. It rang four times before Blaine answered.

"Blaine, are you coming to school? Are you sick? Why didn't you text me?" Kurt rambled anxiously. He was about to continue with his questions when he heard Blaine hiccup and draw in a shaky breath.

"I- I- I'm f- fine, Kurt," Blaine stammered. There was the unmistakable sound of Blaine wiping his nose on his jacket sleeve. "I'm out– outside the cafeteria doors."

"Don't move. I'll be there in a minute, okay?" Kurt ordered, pushing through the stairwell door and out into the student parking lot.

As he raced around to the backside of the building where the cafeteria was he kept his phone to his ear, listening to the hiccups and sniffles as Blaine tried to regain his composure. He had no idea what was wrong, or if any of the jocks – or Santana – had cornered Blaine and hit him or threatened him. There was nothing else he could think of that would make Blaine cry or sound so distraught.

When he turned the corner of the building he found Blaine sitting down against the bricks, tucked away in the corner between the stairs into the cafeteria and the wall. His legs were pulled up to his chest, his hair was an absolute mess and his glasses were gone. At first Kurt thought he had been cornered and beaten up, but as he dropped down next to his best friend he didn't see any cuts or bruises, just puffy red eyes and tear stains.

"Blaine, what... why are you crying?" Kurt whispered, reaching over and swiping away a stray tear.

"H- hi," Blaine hiccupped, trying and failing to force his lips into a smile. "It– don't worry about it. Let's just go to class."

"No, who– what– I'm hurt anyone who made you c– "

"I don't think that's a good idea," Blaine murmured, dragging his shirt sleeve along his nose once more. "My dad won't let you in the house anymore if you hit him."

"What?" Kurt gasped, trying to piece all of this together in his mind, but it didn't make sense.

When they were younger Blaine, Cooper, and their father had gotten along great. Cooper had branched off and left, but things had mostly stayed the same between the older Anderson brother and their father. The relationship Blaine and James had had definitely gotten more difficult lately, but he liked to think they would work it out at some point. Then it hit him like a slushie in the face. Blaine's sexuality was the biggest obstacle between Blaine and his father right now, and the only thing Kurt could think of that would make it worse was–

"You came out to him," Kurt said hollowly.

Even before Blaine started to nod Kurt knew it was true. After how he'd boosted about his own decision to come out to his father he knew Blaine had done the same. Whether or not it had been willingly or planned Kurt wasn't sure, but he knew Blaine. If he had done it and been so brave then Blaine would try to do the same. After all, Blaine was the one who always insisted on having courage and being brave.

"I- I figured if you could, then I should, and– and– " Blaine's voice cracked and Kurt moved in quickly, wrapping his arms around Blaine as he dissolved into tears.

"Hey, shhh, it'll... it'll be all right," Kurt murmured, cradling Blaine's head against his neck and petting his hair.

Blaine choked out a sob that made Kurt's heart shatter. "No, it– he couldn't even– he just asked why, Kurt. The way he looked at me... "

"Screw him," Kurt growled, clutching Blaine tighter against his chest as the warning bell rang inside the building. "I bet my dad will scoop you up and give you one of those big bear hugs you like when we tell him after school."

"Y- you think so?" Blaine asked, trying to dry his eyes on his snot covered sleeve.

"Of course he will," Kurt assured him, helping Blaine to his feet. He pulled the taller boy in for a warm embrace. "He'll love you just the same, but he won't love you anymore than I do. I won't let him."

A soft laugh greeted his endearing words, and Blaine squirmed out of his arms and continued to wipe his eyes.

"Come on, we're going to be late."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and tugged him back to the stairwell he'd exited earlier. For a split second he realized the hug and this hand holding was the most physical contact he'd had with Blaine on school grounds in almost a week, but just as quickly the thought slipped away. It was safer if he didn't hang all over Blaine, not only for Blaine but for himself.

Everywhere Kurt turned people were whispering about Finn and "the gleek". All morning the student body discussed the interaction they had witnessed and it was driving Kurt crazy. He was trying not to think about it, because it only made his breathing sound funny and his fingers shake.

Blaine had stayed. After everything Kurt had put him through, and all the torment he knew was waiting he'd come back to McKinley. For what, though? Kurt couldn't figure it out. There was no reason he could see for that decision; Blaine had never been a masochist as far as Kurt remembered. Dalton had been the perfect escape for him and–

Was that it then? Blaine was staying so he didn't look like a coward; he was staying because anything else meant running away. In all the years Kurt had known Blaine the boy had never run from anything. No matter how rude, vicious, or brutal the taunts had become Blaine never ran. It was why Kurt always knew he had hoped in vain for Blaine to turn and run when he approached with Santana, Quinn, and their slushies. But Blaine wouldn't – he never had.

The first chance Kurt had he zeroed in on his step-brother. The opportunity didn't present itself until his fifth block class, which the two shared together. History was one of the few subjects Kurt didn't pay attention in, especially now that the topic was U.S. History. After spending the first seven years of his education learning about his country's history Kurt figured he had a good enough grasp on it to not listen the majority of the time.

Finn seemed to agree with his attitude towards the class, because when Kurt arrived a few minutes before the bell his step-brother was already snoring loudly in the back row. Without preamble Kurt stalked over and dropped his books onto Finn's desk. They smacked down with a loud clap and Finn jerked awake, his knees hitting the underside of the desktop and causing it to flip over and send the books to the floor.

"Where's the thunder?" Finn said stupidly, looking around the room dazedly as Kurt dropped into the desk next to him. A second later Finn looked to where Kurt's books had fallen and how his desktop had flipped down and was swinging back and forth. He leaned over the railing and scooped up Kurt's book. "Oh, here."

Kurt took his textbook from Finn's hand and a curt nod. "So is there any particular reason you were hanging out with Blaine?" Kurt demanded, deciding to skip sneaky tactics and just dive straight in.

"Huh? Blaine's cool. Why shouldn't I hang out with him?" Finn asked in confused.

"Because your girlfriend will castrate you," Kurt told him icily. "The entire school is talking about you two now."

Finn shrugged disinterestedly. "Yeah, so? He's my friend– well, tutor-friend, I guess. But he's a cool guy."

"I – I know that," Kurt grumbled in annoyance. He wasn't even sure if he was mad about any of this or maybe he was just angry with Blaine. By staying he was putting himself at risk and putting Kurt in a position he'd been in once and screwed up. Despite the fact that he still cared Kurt didn't know if he was strong enough to do what he knew was right. He wasn't strong like Blaine. Years of torment had made him cave in and shut everything about himself off. "Look, you know how the kids here are. They'll make your life hell if you keep hanging out with– "

"Kurt, relax," Finn said. "I'm the quarterback; the star quarterback. They can't do anyt– "

"They did to me, they can to you," Kurt snapped. "They aren't going to let this fly past them."

"Maybe they won't care," Finn said optimistically. "Once they see me with the Glee Club– "

"You– what?" Kurt squealed. The bell rang overhead as the other students settled in around him.

Finn lowered his voice and leaned over to Kurt. "I... I liked singing at Christmas. Blaine says it's fun. I talked to him a lot after he left – getting help for math mostly since I didn't think I'd have anyone once we got back to school. I trust him. If he says it's fun, then I believe him."

Kurt was silent for a moment. "It is fun," he agreed quietly. "Well, it was."

Finn shrugged and busied himself with flipping his desktop back over and resting his arms on it.

"I can't believe he came back here," Kurt said quietly. "Did... did he say why?"

"Why? Uh... " Finn paused, thinking hard. "I think he said he owed it to himself? Or something?"

There was a moment where Kurt almost asked if Blaine had mentioned him at all. If he'd just been strictly vague about why he had returned or if he'd actually talked in detail about it. Kurt didn't think Blaine would do that, and with Finn he could easily let it slip past, but Kurt thought there had to be more to Blaine's decision than that.

After all, the other boy hadn't fully made his decision the last time they'd seen each other. Had Kurt's brief moment of affection helped him choose? He was probably thinking way too much of himself as usual. It had probably just been Blaine's own stubbornness and unrelenting need to be strong and not run that had been the deciding factor. One way or another Kurt was going to find out. Next he would have to corner Blaine. The only problem was finding a secluded spot to do so.