The rest of Christmas day was awkward for Kurt. Everyone else, even Finn, kept casting him odd looks. From Burt he was pretty sure it was a pleased, almost proud little glitch in his eyes – the one that he'd been accustomed to in his childhood. Carole's were brighter and accompanying by a dazzling smile. The looks from Finn were mostly confused, and usually followed him finding someone else watching Kurt. The majority of it went over Finn's head obviously, but the first time he caught Blaine gazing over at Kurt, with a soft, hopeful look he'd grinned over at Kurt.

It was Blaine's looks that caught him up the most. They made his stomach swoop and his heart jump into his throat. At least that's what it felt like was going on inside of him. Kurt didn't understand it, and why it felt both good and nerve-wracking. Nothing of what was swirling around in his chest made much sense to him, because they weren't things he'd ever felt before.

By the next morning Kurt couldn't even look Blaine in the eyes. He figured it was the guilt he was still feeling, combined with whatever these new sensations were, but he said nothing. Kurt watched Blaine packed up his bag in silence, taking particular care to hook the chain on his pocket-watch to his belt loop before sliding it into his pocket.

Kurt watched the little device disappear, heart thumping painfully. Even now he could still remember quite clearly the day he'd discovered it tucked away in that little pawn shop. His father had been looking for some baseball card or something and he'd dragged Kurt with him. He'd wandered around through the cluttered shop while Burt had riffled through cards, and found it dangling from a wind chime in the back.

"I think that's everything," Blaine decided, tucking a last pair of striped socks into his bag.

Kurt nodded mutely, trying to swallow past the hard lump forming in his throat. It was bizarre to walk upstairs with Blaine, not talking or laughing that they used to, but in silence. All of this seemed so... wrong. They'd never had to say goodbye like this before. Last time they'd fought, but they'd still seen each other at school, even if they'd been furious with the other.

They joined Burt, Carole, and a yawning Finn in the kitchen for breakfast.

"W- w- why've you gotta leave so early, man?" Finn grumbled, his eyelids drooping as he groggily shoveled cereal into his mouth.

"You really could stay for the rest of the day," Carole persisted, taking up her argument from the previous night. "It's not a problem at all. We love having you."

Kurt stared down at his empty plate and bit his lip, fighting down all the words trying to claw their way out of him. Don't go. Please stay. Maybe I just want my best friend back, too. But he didn't say any of those things. He wasn't sure he knew how to anymore.

"No, I should get back before they get home tomorrow," Blaine said firmly. "Straighten up, get my homework done."

"If you're sure... "Carole said sadly.

"I am," Blaine replied, starting to pile his plate up with food. "I'm probably going to have a lot of packing to do, anyway."

"Packing?" Burt echoed, looking worried.

"I um, I asked my dad about transferring to Dalton before they left," Blaine shrugged, poking his fork at his eggs. "Figured it'd be easier on them and me if I wasn't in Lima anymore."

"That's not true," Kurt said quietly.

Everyone else fell silent at his words, both from shock at Blaine's admission and the fact that Kurt had actually spoken up. He was the reason Blaine thought so little of himself wasn't he? At least partially, Kurt decided. Blaine had always had a tendency to think that way because of the way Cooper was favored, and the distance his parents liked to keep from his personal life. Nothing he'd done since freshmen year had helped Blaine's self-esteem improve. If anything Kurt's bullying had only made it worse.

"Either way, I'll get away from everything at McKinley, right?" Blaine told them, shrugging as though it wasn't a big deal – like he was trying to belittle everything he was put through day after day. "Maybe I'll actually like school then. Their Glee Club is supposed to be pretty great, too."

"That'll... " Burt paused, looking torn. "It'll be great for you to get away and really shine."

Blaine gave him a tight lipped smile, and nodded. "It's got to be better than slushies," he added.

Kurt could tell Burt and Carole both had a lot they wanted to say to that, that his father had a lot of issues he wanted to force to light and to get worked out, but he didn't say anything. Nobody did. Breakfast continued on in silence, and Kurt was fairly sure at least three of the table's other occupants were thinking what he was.

Blaine shouldn't have to transfer just to feel accepted and safe or anything else. He shouldn't have to run off to some private, boarding school just to feel like he was wanted around in his home. Insides twisting up, Kurt helped Carole wash up the dishes as Burt and Blaine started to pull on their boots and coats.

He was so focused on them Carole ended up taking the drying cloth from his grasp and swatting him away. Apparently she'd been trying to hand him the same cup for several minutes, because she bumped him out of her way with her hip, and nodded towards the hall.

"You should go with them," she insisted. There was a pause while Kurt stared towards the entry way uncertainly. "This might be the last time you ever see him."

At Carole's words Kurt jolted into action and made a quick dash through the kitchen and down the hall. He stopped right next to his father just in time to hear Finn say–

"Maybe I'll join Glee when we get back! Well, if you're still around. It was fun to sing with you."

Kurt rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, even as Blaine laughed at the suggestion. Ignoring the way the sound affected him, Kurt nudged his way between Burt and Finn.

"Oh, please," he said snottily. "Quinn would never allow it. It's social suicide."

"But you used to– "

"I'm not dating the head cheerleader," Kurt argued. "She'd kill you. Actually, she'd force me to help kill you."

"But– "

"Hey," Blaine cut in, still smiling slightly in a way that made Kurt flush. "Look, it doesn't matter, right? I'm most likely going to Dalton, so Quinn has nothing to worry about."

Finn drooped slightly at his words, and Kurt kept his gaze fixed on the floor. Now that the idea was in Finn's head he wouldn't be surprised if he pursued it regardless of whether or not Blaine was around.

"Who's going to tutor me now?" Finn asked miserably. "Mike knows it all, but he's so busy and– "

"I'll still do it," Blaine assured him. "We can Skype or something a few nights a week."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I said I'd help you and I meant it," Blaine said, patting the taller boy on his shoulder.

Suddenly Finn rushed him and scooped him up in a bear hug.

"You really should stay, man," Finn insisted as Burt stepped in and forced him to set Blaine down.

"I'll... I'll think about it, all right?" Blaine replied, tugging his shirt back down and straightening it.

"Well, come on," Burt said, pulling the door open. "Let's get you home before it starts snowing again."

"Sounds go– "

"Wait," Kurt nearly shouted, making a dive for Blaine's arm and catching his hand. "Just... let me take him home, Dad."

Burt looked amazed at his words, but seemed almost eager to step back and hand him is keys. Blaine was staring down at their linked hands, and Kurt followed his gaze something warm and pleasant bubbling to life in his chest. It was weird, and made him feel like his insides had forgotten that gravity was supposed to have an effect on them. If his stomach started floating up his throat and then out of his mouth he wouldn't be surprised.

"Um,... that is if it's okay with you," Kurt grumbled, hating how nervous he suddenly was to suggest it. Where had all of his confidence gone? All his arrogance and poise?

"Okay," Blaine agreed softly.

Why did he think he was falling apart, but feel like he was finally free all at once?

Kurt strolled down the hallway towards the lunch room. He was supposed to meet Blaine outside the doors today instead of at his locker.

It was Monday, officially one week since Kurt had joined the Cheerios, and he felt great. Instead of being shoved and shouldered down the hall with his classmates, people had started to move out of his way. His father had taken him and Blaine out to celebrate his new spot on the squad over the weekend, and even though Burt seemed a little uncertain about the team he'd joined he'd been ecstatic that Kurt was taking an interesting in something he was more familiar with.

Kurt turned the corner and spotted Blaine, hugging himself around the middle and tucked away from the crowd rushing into the cafeteria. It was the only sight in the school that could make Kurt's steps falter anymore. Every day since Kurt's new gain of power Blaine had looked more and more skittish, even miserable. As confident and happy as Kurt was now he could see how hard things still were for Blaine. He wished there was something he could do, but he'd be lucky if he could hang out with Blaine without getting slushied or cornered.

Still he'd do what he could to make Blaine happy, and eventually he'd find a way to make him as happy as Kurt was thanks to Blaine's idea.

"Hey," Kurt greeted, slipping through a group of jocks and stopping at Blaine's side.

A pleased, little smile tugged up Blaine's lips as Kurt grabbed his hand and headed towards the line. Kurt didn't really get why holding hands always made Blaine grin like that, but he was glad he could make Blaine look so happy.

"Lasagna today," Blaine remarked, glancing over Kurt's head to the trays.

"I'll just have a– "

"Salad," Blaine finished, nudging him teasingly. "I know. Coach Sylvester will have your hid if you try anything else."

Kurt nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed by the diet he had to keep. They queued through the line, grabbing their respective lunches, paying and then heading to their usual table in the back corner. As they took their seats Blaine began to tell him about a new boy in his Algebra II/Trigonometry class named Mike. He was a transfer apparently, and a jock, which surprised Kurt. None of the other jocks gave Blaine the time of day unless they wanted to torment him. They hardly acknowledged Kurt even now, but this guy seemed... different. It made Kurt nervous, and a hot boiling sensation filled his stomach as Blaine continued to tell Kurt about him.

"Is... is he gay?" Kurt asked, cutting Blaine off mid-sentence. He wasn't sure why he needed to know the answer to that, because maybe this guy and Kurt could somehow team up and make things better for Blaine and the rest of the student body.

"Mike? I doubt it," Blaine shrugged. "He's not my type, anyway." Blaine's face flooded with color. "I like brunettes."

"Oh," Kurt said, feeling relieved. He wasn't sure why it should matter to him, but for some reason it did. Blaine was his best friend after all, it was only natural that he'd want to protect him, especially if he started dating some guy.

"How's your dad been?" Blaine questioned, carefully cutting off another piece of lasagna. "He seemed a little... suspicious about the whole Cheerio thing this weekend."

Kurt pushed a piece of lettuce around his plate for a moment, trying to decide how best to put it. "He's been... different. Not, like, a bad different, just... he keeps trying to have these deep meaningful conversations, yanno?"

"He wants you to come out to him," Blaine said smartly and before Kurt could refute that statement Blaine continued. "If either of our dads are going to be okay with having a gay son it's yours. You're everything to him, Kurt, and I'm pretty sure he already knows, anyway. He just wants you to trust him enough with it to tell him yourself that he's right."

"I– I've been thinking about telling him this weekend maybe," Kurt said, eating another forkful of greens. "I'm not as scared as I was before. As long as I've got you around it won't matter if he has a problem with it."

Even as he spoke Kurt's stomach flopped around and made him feel a little queasy. His confidence was certainly getting stronger, and it was true that he wasn't as scared of the idea, but he still wasn't sure how his father would take the news, despite Blaine's words.

"You should," Blaine encouraged. "You might not see it, but he knows. Trust me."

"I do," Kurt replied immediately, smiling and reaching across the table to squeeze Blaine's hand. "Do you think you'll ever tell your dad?"

Blaine set his fork and knife down carefully, and stared long and hard at the table before he spoke. "Honestly, I don't know. He's... I think Mama knows, and she's hinted to him to ease him into the idea maybe, but... he just keeps pushing to do all this macho stuff that he hates and I just... it's like he thinks it'll turn me straight or something."

Kurt frowned at Blaine's words. He'd known James Anderson for almost five years and the man had always been much more aloof than Burt. There were no hugs or jokes, just a lot of sternness and gruff shoulder slaps. Kurt had always assumed he'd pick up those habits from raising Cooper, who was much rougher than Blaine, but James didn't seem to get that the same methods weren't working with his younger son.

"Maybe if you tell him and get it out in the open he can, like, learn to adjust and accept it better?" Kurt offered. "He won't hate you, Blaine," he assured his friend, giving him a small smile. "I know he's not the easiest to talk to or get along with, but he does love you. Besides, your Mama would skin him alive if he didn't try."

Blaine nodded solemnly. "I just don't want things to be more awkward. His parents are... well, they'd disown me if they found out. I don't want to put him in that position... "

"Well, I'm going to tell my dad," Kurt decided. "If he's okay with it then he is, and if he's not then that's his problem."

Kurt turned his nose up and stared out across the cafeteria at all the students, completely missing the misery that took over Blaine's face once more.

Kurt could barely keep his focus on the road as he drove towards Blaine's house. With Blaine just a few feet to his right he was finding it incredibly difficult to pay attention, and the fact that he was and he didn't know why was only distracting him more. Perhaps it was because this was the last time he might ever see the other boy. There really was no hope of turning any of this around if it all ended here. But he deserved that, didn't he? Blaine deserved to go off and find some place better, happier, while he spent the rest of his life regretting all of this.

As Kurt pulled to a stop at the net stoplight, he turned to look Blaine over, to try to memorize him for when he wasn't around anymore. It was ridiculous how much Blaine could still mean to him even now. Blaine was gazing out the passenger side window, oblivious to his stare for the moment, and Kurt was glad for it. He couldn't even explain to himself why he wanted to look and look and never stop, or why it was hurting him so much to think of this as a real goodbye.

Blaine turned to him suddenly, looking confused. "Kurt, it uh, doesn't get any greener," Blaine commented, gesturing towards the windshield.

"What– oh," Kurt gasped as the car behind them blew it's horn.

Blaine laughed quietly next to him as Kurt started down the road again. A unbearable warmth was spreading up Kurt's neck and cheeks. Now Blaine would ask him why he'd been staring and he really didn't have an answer, because he didn't feel right just saying "because I want to". That was too... weird, especially since he knew it was true but couldn't explain why.

"So," Kurt began before Blaine could ask any questions, "when will you know about Dalton? That's where your dad went, isn't it?"

Blaine nodded. "Cooper, too, but he didn't leave on campus since he only had a few months left. I probably will. It's out in Westerville. My dad's supposed to know if they'll let me transfer when he gets back tomorrow. They should since it's his alma mater and he still donates to them. He wanted me to go there originally."

"Oh, right, I'd forgotten he went there," Kurt said. It had been a long time since he'd seen Blaine's older brother. "How is Cooper anyway? Didn't he go out to California?"

"Yeah, he's got some commercial he's getting ready to launch," Blaine informed him. "You know Cooper, one commercial and he thinks he's a big shot Hollywood star."

Kurt smiled a little at the fond teasing note in Blaine's voice. "He's always been a bit full of himself."

Silence fell again, but then something Blaine had just said in passing replayed in Kurt's head. He wanted me to go there originally. But that didn't make any sense to Kurt. Blaine would have mentioned something like that and talked it over with him. They both might have decided to go to Dalton and escaped from the hell McKinley was for them in the beginning.

"Why didn't you ever say he wanted you to go there?" Kurt asked, turning down the street to Blaine's neighborhood. "If he wanted you to I mean, we both could have– "

"Tuition was too steep," Blaine explained softly, which only confused Kurt more.

Blaine's parents weren't rich, but they were definitely very well off. They had afforded Cooper's tuition and could easily do the same of Blaine's, so why– oh.

"Your dad never could have afforded it," Blaine added. "I didn't want to lose you... or leave you alone at a place like McKinley."

Kurt felt numb at Blaine's words. There seemed to be so much that Blaine had done for him – to help him – and he felt like he'd done nothing in return, even back then. No, he'd done worse than nothing, and the realization made him feel sick as he pulled to a stop outside Blaine's house.

Blaine was already fumbling with his seatbelt, but Kurt's head was buzzing like radio static. All he'd gone was take from Blaine repeatedly. He never did anything worthwhile in return to make Blaine feel as good as he helped make Kurt feel.

"We might still be friends if you had gone to Dalton," Kurt stated, a tight pain gripping his chest.

Without Blaine he wouldn't have joined the Cheerios. If he'd just stayed in Glee Club he'd have Mercedes and Tina and Blaine at Dalton. He'd have real friends he could talk to, not only Santana to whisper his truths to. If he'd just dropped the squad when she'd blackmailed him, or stood up and been proud of who he was or–

No. No, he couldn't do this right now. All of these what-ifs weren't going to change anything or make any difference to how things were in reality. Carole was right. If he was ever going to find a way to make this right he had to start focusing on what he could change and effect. The present, the future, what he did here and now could heal the things he couldn't stop focusing on.

"Yeah," Blaine agreed softly, pausing as his seatbelt retracted. "We probably would be."

"You'll be so much happier there," Kurt said earnestly, looking over for the first time since he'd parked. Blaine was gazing at him oddly, looking a little unnerved and surprised.

"If I go."

"Why wouldn't you?" Kurt almost demanded. "After- after all that's... "

Kurt trailed off as Blaine shifted in his seat to face him.

"I'd live in a dorm and really never see my parents. The guys there might be just as homophobic as the ones at McKinley. New Directions needs my voice. Artie's the only other guy that can sing, but he struggles a lot to keep up with the dance routines because Rachel always wants to twirl."

"Maybe Finn will actually join," Kurt supplied, trying to be teasing, but his voice was too thick from all of the emotions swirling through him.

"Can you seriously picture him dancing? Especially with Rachel? She already looks tiny enough on stage."

Kurt laughed in agreement, both of them momentarily dissolving into giggles at the thought. The passenger door was cracked open and Kurt's laughter caught in his throat. This was it. After two years of wishing he'd at least had a chance to say a real goodbye to Blaine or at least end things on slightly better terms, they were here. Blaine would go to Dalton and then some big important university for music. He'd never see him again, and the thought made his goodbye stick to the back of his throat.

Blaine seemed to be lingering in his seat for the same reason, because even though he'd turned towards the door and cracked it open he couldn't seem to force himself out of the vehicle.

"I really do want us to be friends again, Blaine," Kurt blurted, putting himself out there and hoping that Blaine would agree and have a way for that to happen.

Blaine's head whipped up at his words, his surprise clear on his face. "S- so do I. I just... I don't know how were supposed to do that anymore."

"Finn will probably still have you over," Kurt offered.

Blaine laughed contemptuously. "Why? So I can hang out with the guys? They'd want to kick my ass." Blaine shook his head a little and straightened his glasses. "It's going to be too far to drive all the time anyway."

The passenger door creaked open.

"Thanks for the ride home," Blaine said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Bye."

Blaine moved to swing his feet out of the car, but Kurt lurched forward suddenly, tugging Blaine back. Heart pounding in his throat, Kurt leaned across the gear shift and wrapped his arm around Blaine's shoulders. As he pulled him in for a hug, Kurt felt Blaine stiffen momentarily. Just the slight tension made Kurt's eyes tear up. Blaine had always warmly accepted his embraces. He'd never been scared or uncertain of them before, and he was now because of all Kurt had done.

Then Blaine's arms tentatively circled him and he relaxed a little. As soon as he did, Kurt nearly slumped down into Blaine's warmth. The weight of all his lies and masks seemed to disappear for a moment, as though Blaine's presence so close to him had pushed it up and away, leaving it suspended a few inches above them until he was forced back into the person he'd created himself as.

As Blaine's moved back it took all of Kurt's strength to keep himself upright and not tumble forward into the other boy. Blaine was staring at him in wonder, his eyes huge and amazed. A wave of melancholy crashed over Kurt at the sight. A brief hug from him shouldn't have that powerful of an effect when they'd once known each other so well as to snuggle together at sleepovers. Physical touches between them shouldn't make Blaine look so awed, and they shouldn't make Kurt feel like a barbell had plummeted into his stomach while he simultaneously seemed to be floating inside himself.

Blaine moved back a few inches, ready to grab his bag and run when Kurt did something he didn't even think about. He leaned in again quickly, his lips brushing Blaine's cheek fleetingly. As soon as he realized it and caught himself he pulled back abruptly, but the gesture was already done.

If Blaine had looked amazed before it was nothing compared to now.

"H- have fun at Dalton, okay?" Kurt squeaked out, voice high and slightly terrified at his own move. "Be safe."

Blaine swallowed loudly, jaw trembling enough for Kurt to notice as he nodded. He stepped out of the car. "Goodbye, Kurt."

The door shut with a snap as Kurt tried to figure out when he'd lost complete control of his actions. Or maybe that's what he'd wanted to do all along only he didn't know himself well enough anymore to realize it.