Feb. 12, 2012, 12:06 a.m.
A Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation: I Hope That No One Ever Leaves
M - Words: 1,176 - Last Updated: Feb 12, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 2/? - Created: Feb 07, 2012 - Updated: Feb 12, 2012 113 0 0 0 0
“I’ll miss you.” Kurt whispered into Blaine’s chest as they lied together tangled in each other’s arms. Tonight was their last night together before Kurt left for New York. “I’ll miss you so much, you have no idea. Every day in class, at home, in glee club I’ll be thinking of you.” Blaine said in a hushed tone followed by a light kiss to Kurt’s head. Blaine had realized a long time ago that he and Kurt had become one of those soppy co-dependent couples you see in public that make you want to gag but Kurt had brought out that side of him and it seemed that as soon as that had happened he couldn’t stop acting that way.
“Don’t worry, we’ll still have Skype and Facebook and hey, you could even use this as an excuse to finally write me a love letter. You know I always wanted one of those” Kurt reassured.
“But it won’t be the same will it?” Blaine whined. “I won’t get to touch you anymore or kiss you or hug you or just generally drink in your presence. I don’t just want to experience you through a laggy video chat. I just want to be with you every day.”
“We love each other don’t we? I know this is going to be hard for the both of us but we can get through this. We’ve been through so much crap together; I know we can manage this.” Kurt reasoned.
But that was the problem. They had been through so much together. Being apart was the issue. Whenever things got bad for Blaine or Kurt they always had each other, that was their thing. They were going to be apart this year and it was going to be hard and they wouldn’t have each other to pull through. But Blaine didn’t dare to voice that out loud because he didn’t want it to be true. He wanted to believe that they would make it through this and be able to live without Kurt and wait till the break to see him. So he stayed silent and just clung to Kurt tighter and they fell asleep in their loving embrace.
*
“I love you so much; you have to call me as soon as you land ok?” Blaine said to Kurt at the airport. The plane was starting to board and the moment Blaine was dreading had finally come. Kurt had to leave. “I love you too. I promise I’ll call when I get to my dorm.” Kurt said. “I have to go. I’m going to miss you so much.” He started to walk away but Blaine pulled him in for one final hug and “I love you with all my heart.” Blaine whispered into Kurt’s ear and then he was leaving. Kurt walked away and started to board the plane and gave Blaine one final sorry look and then he was gone. Blaine could feel the tears pricking the back of his eyes but he promised himself he wouldn’t cry until he at least got in the car. “I know he’s gonna miss you buddy” Burt said as he clapped Blaine on the shoulder. Blaine had almost forgotten Kurt’s family was there. “I know. It’s just hard you know?” Blaine replied. “I know” Burt said with finality.
Blaine left the airport already feeling defeated and resolved to drink himself into a stupor the minute he got home.
*
Blaine walked into his “too big for a house” house and attempted to make a bee-line for his room but his father coughed in indication that he needed to come over and have yet another attempt at some friendly conversation. “So where were you?” asked Blaine’s father. He was a rather tall man, broad shoulders, dark very short hair almost in a buzz cut and his voice held an inherently condescending tone whenever speaking to his family. “I went to say goodbye to Kurt. I told you he was leaving today” Blaine responded with just a hint of annoyance that his father had forgotten how important this day was for his son. “Oh yes, that boyfriend of yours. I actually wanted to talk to you about it.” His father gestured towards the kitchen table, hinting Blaine to sit down. “While I don’t mean to be rude Blaine but I’m rather happy that he’s left for a while, it gives you more time to focus on your studies this year. It’s a good thing Blaine, you’ll get over it.” Mr. Anderson said matter-of-factly. Blaine had instantly become more infuriated with every word that came out of his father’s mouth. Not only had his best friend left, but now his dad was now saying Blaine’s misery will be good for him. He always knew his dad disliked Kurt and hated that Blaine was acting on his homosexuality. It supposedly embarrassed his father to the pretentious social circle of rich country club families his father surrounded himself with.
“Fine dad, it’s a great thing.” Blaine said with no conviction. He was resentful to his father’s words, but was just too drained to argue. He decided it was O.K. to leave at that point in the conversation. He started to walk towards his room again, but was once again blocked in his path. This time by his brother Cooper who tackled Blaine in a bear hug as soon as he got Blaine in his path, “I’m sorry man, I know today must have been hard for you. I know how much you love Kurt. I feel like you need this hug. If you need me just call ok?” Cooper said without letting go of Blaine.
Blaine let go of the hug first and with a genuine smile, thanked his brother for caring about him. Blaine and Cooper had always been close. Ever since Blaine was born Cooper didn’t want to let him go and had been the most loving brother since. Cooper was the first person Blaine came out to and Coop was fully accepting of him and said he’d still love him no matter what. But Cooper wasn’t pushy and he let Blaine go to his room to be alone.
Once Blaine got through the door he walked briskly to the bookcase and pulled out the wine from behind his favorite novels. He chugged it down once he got the lid off and it tasted awful from the speed at which he was drinking but he needed to bring that familiar fog over his mind as soon as possible, he just didn’t want to think about the rest of the year he was going to have to endure without Kurt. He cranked up the music on his dock and played “Little Miss Pipedream” and sand along and managed to remember all the words, even in his alcohol fuelled haze and poured all his emotion into the words whilst he poured the wine into his mouth in between verses. He opened another bottle and kept drinking and listening to his music until he eventually collapsed onto his bed and blacked out, hoping to forget that Kurt was gone.