Author's Notes: So there you go, a nice fluffy ending for you all. Thank you to everyone who read it and those who left reviews/favourited; I really appreciate it! My next story which I'm currently writing is a highschool AU but I want to get most of it written before I start posting. It'll probably take a few weeks while I finish all my exams etc. but keep your eyes peeled, it will be posted on here at some point in the not so distant future! Thank you again :)
Blaine watched as Kurt interlaced is own fingers in his lap and then uncrossed them, clearly at a loss as to how to start.
"Can I—Can I say something?" Blaine asked carefully, feeling his own hands starting to fiddle restlessly. Kurt nodded. "I wanted to apologise for the way I acted last night—I was confused and upset and I shouldn't have just shut down like that. I tried so hard not to but it's just..." He trailed off, unsure how to explain it.
"Ingrained in you to do that?" Kurt supplied softly.
"Yeah, ingrained in me. Anyway, I should've talked to you instead of closing off and—I'm sorry." Kurt nodded, accepting the apology. "God, all I seem to say to you is 'sorry' now. I am, though. I know it doesn't make up for what I did and I know it won't magically make you trust me again, but for what it's worth, I will never stop being sorry for how I hurt you. And—and I guess that's why I was so upset last night, because I stupidly convinced myself that everything could just go back to normal now, like we were before you left for New York, and you don't know how long I'd been desperate for you to just be comfortable being my friend again, let alone—I knew you wouldn't want to be boyfriends again, I knew that, but over the last few days I allowed myself to hope and it was stupid, but—"
"It wasn't stupid, Blaine." Kurt interjected, having remained silent throughout Blaine's ramblings. "I'm sorry, too."
Blaine scoffed. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"Yeah, I do. These last few days, scratch that, these last few months, I've been giving you mixed signals and that wasn't fair to you and I'm sorry."
"I—ok." Blaine conceded and then they were quiet for a moment. "I'll admit Mr Schue's wedding was a bit confusing, though it's probably Sam you should be apologising to; he had to listen to me dissecting what it had meant non-stop for the next two weeks. In fact, now that I think about it, you might want to send him a muffin basket or something to make it up to him..."
Kurt snorted and leaned his head back on the couch, his eyes suddenly very blue as they flitted over Blaine's face. He felt the familiar pull in his chest as the sudden emotion overwhelmed him; no one else could do that to him but Kurt. But he knew now that Kurt needed more time and Blaine knew he needed to give it to him. If Kurt just wanted Blaine as his friend who he experimentally held hands with now and then, that was fine.
"So," Blaine continued after a pause. "Friends?" He extended his hand for Kurt to shake but, although Kurt gripped the hand and shook it gently, he didn't let go again, instead interlocking their fingers and bringing both their hands to rest on his thigh.
"I never said I wanted us to be just friends."
"You're kind of being confusing again." Blaine said slowly. "I mean, you don't want us to be friends but don't want a relationship, so what are we...?"
Kurt opened his mouth a few times then seemed to think better of it. He squirmed in his seat, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
"Oh my God!" Blaine suddenly shouted, laughing as something suddenly clicked. He almost jumped off the couch but Kurt's hand held him in place.
"What?" Kurt asked, smiling at Blaine's grin but obviously baffled.
"You—Kurt!" he dissolved into laughter again and Kurt looked even more bemused.
"You're kinda going to need to help me out here," He said pointedly but Blaine seemed to find this statement even funnier. It took a good minute for him to finally compose himself and sit up again, wiping happy tears from the corners of his eyes. Kurt squeezed his hand as he waited for him to explain.
"S-Sorry, just, I realised what you were trying to say. You want us to be friends with benefits, don't you?"
"I—well,what's so funny about that?" Kurt asked, slightly embarrassed.
"It's just you're all, you know," he gestured at Kurt with his free hand. "Grown up and stuff now, but you still couldn't bring yourself to tell me you wanted to be friends with benefits and it reminded me of the whole baby penguin thing and—" He broke off with a snort again and Kurt had to look away, grinning to himself.
"So you're not opposed to the idea, then." Kurt asked, stopping him mid-laugh.
"Say it." He said, meeting Kurt's gaze.
"It's just friends with—ok, I'm sorry, but that's such a clich�. And who even came up with that, it just sounds cheap—"
"Say it." He repeated, eyebrow raised gleefully.
"No one says that outside of movies—"
"How about intercasual friends?"
Kurt blanched.
"No? Ooh, I know pelvic affiliates? Cum chums? Still no? Someone's picky...Wait, how could I forget the timeless classic: fuck buddies!"
"Ok, ok," Kurt cut him off loudly before he could come up with any more weird-at-best-but-bordering-on-offensive terms, "Fine! Blaine, will you be my fuck bud—"
His mouth snapped shut as the door swung open and Burt stepped into the room, definitely smirking. Please don't let him have heard, please don't let him have heard, he chanted in his head, avoiding his dad's eyes.
"Sorry to interrupt your little-ah-proposal," Crap, he'd heard. "But Carol needs to ring her mother and was wondering if you could keep the noise down a little more if you're discussing such-ahem-sensitive topics. I don't think Lillian would appreciate it, really."
"Yeah, of course, sorry." Kurt didn't look at his father as he closed the door behind him, his cheeks burning as he studied the carpet. Clearly Blaine didn't have the same concern because he was grinning like a lunatic.
"Oh my God, your dad just heard you say f—" Kurt cut him off with a hand over his mouth.
"Enough." He said sternly and at least Blaine had the decency to look somewhat abashed. "I didn't really mean fu—that—anyway. I just meant can't we be friends getting to know each other in that way again? I mean, I've got to go back to New York in a couple of days—I could only get a week off—but it's not that long before the summer and I thought we could maybe, you know, become re-acquainted physically but just without the labels and stuff. Ok, I guess I did kind of mean friends with benefits."
Blaine nodded slowly as he considered the idea. He didn't exactly want to just be friends with benefits, but if that was what Kurt wanted, he couldn't really refuse could he? Kurt had been right last night; he was the one who had ripped them apart in the first place and he'd just have to live with the consequences. Even if it killed him to be in such an open relationship (God, what if Kurt wanted to still date other guys in New York?), he knew he'd agree in a heartbeat as long as he kept Kurt in his life in some capacity. And at least this way he would get to be intimate with Kurt when he came home again, yet maintain their friendship.
Kurt seemed to realise where Blaine's brain had gone, because he suddenly looked vaguely horrified.
"Oh, no, I didn't mean—It wouldn't be meaningless,it's not that I don't want to be your boyfriend eventually, I just can't...deal with that right now. It would be a monogamous relationship, I wouldn't..." He made a gesture which Blaine interpreted to mean 'have sex with other guys'. Blaine cringed slightly, remembering that he had done that to Kurt while they were still in a proper relationship. How had Kurt forgiven him for that? He slipped his hand out of Kurt's as the unshakeable self-hatred returned.
"Are you sure about this?" He asked, looking right into Kurt's eyes.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You don't think you should maybe...look around a bit first? I mean, Adam seems like a really nice guy..." The words were like ash in his mouth, but he had to say them; he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he'd made Kurt feel obliged to take him back in any way.
"No, Blaine." Kurt said, his gaze suddenly very intense. "I know what you're doing and I want you to stop. Yes, I have considered other men, I'm not going to lie to you. Adam and I tried the whole dating thing and it didn't work out."
"But maybe if you—"
"It didn't work out because I wasn't over you and I didn't really want to be. I couldn't admit it to myself at the time, but Adam knew. He was nothing but sweet to me and we had fun together, we did, but he's not you and he never will be."
"You mean he doesn't cheat on you just because you're no longer around twenty four seven?" Blaine asked bitterly.
"No, I mean that he could be as charming as he liked, but I'd never be in love with him." Blaine continued to shift awkwardly on the couch. "Blaine, look at me, I know I wasn't exactly the world's best boyfriend when I left. I got too wrapped up in Vogue.com and didn't make time for you. I know!" He cut across when Blaine tried to interject. "I know that doesn't excuse what you did, but I also know that I can't sit here and say you should have just talked to me about how you were feeling when I know I probably wouldn't have listened. Not properly, not like you deserved to be listened to."
Blaine didn't try to argue this time and Kurt took it as a good sign, moving closer to him on the sofa until their sides were pressed together.
"But I know you didn't do it to purposefully hurt me, you were lonely and you made a mistake." He re-joined their hands together, cradling them close to him. "I've forgiven you, forgave you a long time ago if I'd been honest with myself, and I love you so I want us to try again. But, like I said last night, I'm still scared, Blaine. I'm scared and I want to take things slow this summer so right now I don't want the pressure of labels and people judging us. I just want it to be like how it was at the beginning when I was a blushing baby penguin in a blazer and we were just Kurt and Blaine, simple as that. I don't mean you're not allowed to feel anything if we become intimate again. Nothing's ever meaningless with you, I hope you know that—Even when we hooked up at the wedding and I kept telling you we were just friends, it didn't mean I wasn't feeling anything. It just meant I was too scared to admit to feeling stuff. So, what do you reckon, can we give this another shot?" Kurt asked, squeezing Blaine's hand.
Blaine stayed still for a moment and then shyly looked up. "I'd like that." He said quietly. "I'd like us to be Kurt and Blaine again."
"Good," Kurt smiled. "Because I'd like that too."
And then he leaned forward, slow enough for Blaine to pull away if he wished, and pressed his lips to Blaine's in a soft kiss.
"I love you," Kurt said as they pulled away just enough for him to snuggle against Blaine's chest, his head tucking under his chin.
"I love you, too." Blaine replied, sounding slightly choked-up.
As Kurt shifted, his foot caught on something on the ground, creating a rustling noise. He looked down curiously and saw the coat from last night, still in a bundle on the floor.
"Blaine?" he asked quietly.
"Mm?"
"Why did you use your coat as a blanket last night?"
"Oh, I—I didn't want to wake anyone up and I was cold so..."
"Why didn't you just sleep in the guest room?"
"I was going to but it's full of stuff and the bed was covered up."
Kurt sucked in a breath as he remembered; his dad was slowly converting it into an office where he could manage all the garage's finances.
"Blaine," He moaned quietly, clutching him impossibly closer. "You idiot, you should have just come back into my room."
Blaine chuckled quietly. "Nah, I needed some time to be an idiot by myself, get it out of my system a bit."
Kurt didn't respond, just nuzzled into Blaine's neck, his breath puffing out against the expanse of skin there. Both of them jumped as someone suddenly turned the radio up in the kitchen, the unmistakable sound of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream travelling through the wall.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I hate my dad," he murmured into Blaine's chest, no heat behind the words.
"I love your dad," Blaine countered, shifting until he got comfy again, his arms remaining wrapped around Kurt.
"Mm, well that's good 'cause he loves you too."
They stayed quiet after that, simply enjoying each other's company, the safe rise and fall of their breathing nicely comforting. Kurt realised that for the first time since they'd broken up, he was listening to that song without getting the urge to hurl the radio across the room. Sure, he didn't really want to remember that fateful weekend when Blaine had told him and his life had fallen apart at the seams, but that didn't mean he couldn't hold onto their previous memories and there was absolutely no reason why they couldn't create new ones.
With that in mind, he disentangled himself from Blaine and pulled him up off the sofa before drawing him close again. Slowly they began swaying from side to side vaguely in time with the music, occasionally spinning Blaine under his arm and vice versa. Teenage Dream finished and the next song came on (some current pop hit) and their dancing became more energetic as they danced round the sitting room, laughing and, in Kurt's case, sporadically warning Blaine of the dangers of jumping on furniture.
Yes, Kurt thought, rolling his eyes fondly as Blaine leapt off the couch arm for the third time, narrowly missing the coffee table, he was looking forward to creating new memories together.