April 29, 2012, 10:41 a.m.
Tell Me What You Really Want: A for Effort
E - Words: 4,039 - Last Updated: Apr 29, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 9/? - Created: Oct 07, 2011 - Updated: Apr 29, 2012 836 0 2 0 0
Kurt made it home at four o'clock, which was a bit later than usual but his father didn't ask questions. He and his newly blended family sat down for dinner that night and Kurt couldn't stop fidgeting. He had so much on his mind. Homework, Blaine, what he was going to wear tomorrow, Blaine, how the chicken was a little dry and could use more seasoning, Blaine...
He was worried, really... What if Don or somebody found out that he went into Blaine's room? What would they do if they did find out? Well it would be the last straw, obviously. That would be the end of it all and he'd have to flail around, trying to find another way to meet his community service requirements. He and Blaine would cease to be before they even started.
The Hummel-Hudson clan ate and spoke of their days, Kurt leaving out very many details. Carole was in the middle of explaining what happened to her at work that morning when Kurt's cell phone rang, causing him to jump.
"Hey, phones on silent at the dinner table, you know that, kiddo," Burt reprimanded him lightly.
"I- I must've forgotten to change the setting. Sorry, guys," Kurt apologized before reaching in his pocket and pulling the phone out to reject the call. Before he could, however, he recognized the number as Dalton's and instantly felt nauseous. Shit.
"Uh... actually, it's uh... may I be excused for a second?"
"Sure, honey," Carole replied with a smile.
"Thanks." He shot a quick smile of his own back before bolting from his chair and running into the living room to answer the call. "Hello?"
"What are you wearing?" the silky smooth voice answered.
He scowled. "Jesus, Blaine! You gave me a heart attack! I thought Don was calling to ban me from Dalton for going to your room. It's basically all I've been able to think about since I got home."
Blaine laughed. "Believe me, there's no way they're gonna find out about that unless you, I, or Wes tell someone."
Kurt let himself relax, even if just a little bit. "How can you be so sure?"
"Did you even see a security guard on your way?"
"No, but-"
"The camera to my wing is broken; disconnected. Some hooligan cut the wires. It's the damnedest thing." Blaine spoke dramatically, trying to contain his laughter.
Kurt sighed, "Blaine, you can't do things like that. And I'm eating dinner with my family so I'm going to have to go soon."
"Is this the 50's? Who still eats dinner with their family?"
Kurt felt anger rise up in his chest but didn't trust himself to speak. Blaine didn't eat dinner with his family and he probably didn't even when he was living at home.
"Was there any particular reason you called? How did you even get my number? Never mind, I probably don't want to know."
Blaine snorted. "Aw, nothing big, just some good, old-fashioned quid-pro-quot with Kevin in the office."
Kurt's eyes bugged out of his head. "Yeah, I most definitely do not want to know."
Blaine howled with laughter and- seriously? How much laughing can a boy do in one conversation? He was enjoying this all too much.
"I gave him a pack of smokes and he gave me what I wanted, don't get your panties in a twist. I didn't give him a BJ or anything."
A small noise escaped Kurt's throat. The thought of Blaine giving anyone a blow-job was not something that should be entering his mind before he has to go back to the dinner table and face his father.
"Anyway," Kurt's voice cracked. Clearing his throat, he continued, "Any reason you called other than to paint a disturbing picture in my mind?"
"Not really, but I'll have you know I give fantastic head if you ever-" Kurt pulled the phone away from his ear and ended the call, breathing heavily.
"Kurt? Honey, your food is getting cold!" Carole's voice called from the dining room.
"Coming!" he replied, realizing too late how wrecked his voice sounded.
Collecting himself, he ventured back to the table to finish his dinner.
"Who was that?" Burt asked gruffly, spearing a piece of chicken with his fork.
"Hmm? Oh." Kurt panicked internally, "Just... Don. From Dalton. Called to ask me to stay later tomorrow and help Wes with another subject," Kurt lied. He felt horrible lying to his father, but it's not as if he could really easily tell him that he was semi-involved with a reform school student that he was actually, technically forbidden to spend alone time with.
"I thought you said the kid's name was Blaine." Shit. He had told his dad the name of the boy he'd been tutoring.
"Yes... Well... they realized my skills were better suited for someone else, so they switched me to Wes."
Burt grunted in response before they went back to eating. After minutes of mindless chatter, Burt stood up and brought his dirty plate into the kitchen. When he came back out he tossed a "Don't forget it's your night to do the dishes," over his shoulder and went into the living room.
Finn finished his dinner, leaving his plate at the table, yelling something about the bathroom; Kurt didn't really want to know the details. Carole shook her head at her son and carried both her and Finn's plates into the kitchen.
The house phone rang and a few seconds later Carole came back with the cordless from the kitchen, "It's for you, Sweetie." Her eyes questioned him and Kurt knew who it was before he even answered the call.
"Hello?" Kurt gave a sheepish smile at Carole and she nodded, understanding that it was kind of rude to listen in on his conversation.
"You hung up on me."
"It took you this long to figure that out?" He hissed as Carole left the room, following her husband's path.
"Well, no. But all that talk about giving head made me kind of horny, so I thought 'Hey, why not jerk off?'"
"Oh my God, shut up…" Kurt's hand flew up to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why didn't you call my cell again?"
"'Cause you wouldn't have answered." Kurt had to admit Blaine was right about that.
"Your mom sounds nice."
"Step-mom. My mom died when I was eight." He didn't know why he said it. He guessed it's mostly out of habit now, so that people don't have to ask.
"Oh."
"Yes. Now Blaine, if... you're going to call me... you need to call my cell phone and never my house phone unless you want my dad to come at you with a shotgun."
"Eh." Blaine shrugged even though Kurt couldn't see him, "I've been shot before, s'not that bad."
Kurt sputtered, "N- not that bad? Yeah, not that bad until you die. What the hell, Blaine?"
Blaine grunts, "Fine. I won't call your house phone. But I will call your cell phone and leave you long, filthy voice-mails when you don't answer."
Kurt swallowed thickly, "Remind me to delete without listening."
"Yeah? You don't want all the steamy details of my solitary sexual encounters?"
"Oh my God. Please stop, anyone could be listening in on this and I don't want my family thinking I condone such behavior."
"Oh you'll be past condoning before long. You'll be begging for it, I'm sure."
"Oh my-" Click. Kurt hung up and then quickly pressed the call button to see if Blaine was still there. Dial tone.
Thank God. That meant that there was only a slim chance someone had been listening in.
Kurt would be really furious with Blaine right now if he wasn't so incredibly turned on. Between the images of Blaine sucking someone off and the thoughts of him jerking off, Kurt was ready to bolt up the stairs to his room and take care of the issue of his growing arousal. But surely leaving the dishes unattended to would set off a red flag and he'd have his father breathing down his back in a heartbeat.
Kurt always did his chores in a timely fashion and without a question or complaint. Burt would notice the unwashed dishes and burst though his door wondering if he was sick or something. And as comforting as that is, to know that his father is always there for him, the last thing he wants is for someone to walk in on him when he's jerking off.
No, he'd have to do the dishes first and take care of this problem later.
Retiring to his bedroom, Kurt made sure to lock his door.
The images of Blaine only became stronger the more he tried to suppress them and so he ends up here, on his bed, fingers wrapped tightly around his cock, eyes closed as he succumbed to the fantasy inside his head.
Blaine's lips. The lips that he'd felt on his own just hours before. Perfect, plump lips and Blaine's tongue. His tongue licking, pressing, tasting.
Kurt's imagination took him away. The pressure of Blaine's lips around his cock, the slide of his tongue over the head, the vibrations of a moan that Blaine isn't able to stifle as he tasted the bit of pre-come there. Fuck. Blaine's hot breath ghosting over his skin as his rough hands took over where his mouth left off.
Blaine's dark curls; ones that Kurt could slip his hands into and tug at gently. The desperation; the want. The relief that Blaine would feel because he was finally giving him something he'd been longing for.
The thought that Blaine actually wanted this with him made Kurt's skin tingle. This would turn Blaine on; he would be hard for him. Kurt shuddered at the thought; his mind conjuring an image of Blaine writhing against the bed, trying to get as much friction as possible as he stroked Kurt's length in time with his hips.
Kurt tried hard to bite back a moan. If the real thing is half as good as what his imagination was allowing him, he was tempted to beg Blaine for a blow-job as soon as possible.
A low grunt escaped from his throat. Blaine's lips on him again. Kissing at his skin, tongue flicking out to taste the salty sweat.
"You taste heavenly." Blaine's voice clear in his mind as Kurt manipulated it to say the words he wanted. Whispered words, mumbled into the skin of his stomach between wet, sloppy kisses and Blaine's thumb swiping against the head of his cock.
Kurt was close. It was the first time he'd ever had someone tangible to use for his fantasies and it felt so much better to realize that this... this was plausible. This could actually happen if Kurt just said the words. A shot of pleasure shot down his back as he quickened his pace, pumping himself, heaving breaths of hot air onto his pillow as he threw his head to the side involuntarily. Groaning, he saw Blaine's dark eyes staring up at him, filled with lust as he captured Kurt's cock between his lips once again. Kurt's hips canted instinctively into the mirage of Blaine's mouth.
Blaine moaned around his cock and the thought of Blaine getting any pleasure from just servicing Kurt was almost too much for him to handle. Blaine pulled off of him just for a moment, only to utter, "Come for me."
And -oh. Fuck, he had to. It was too much and Blaine wanted him to see him unravel. He wanted Kurt. With that fuel, he came hard over his hand, the illusion breaking completely.
Coming down from his orgasm, he opened his eyes. The light hit him, much like the realization that he was alone. Blaine wasn't there. He wasn't Kurt's boyfriend. He was stuck at a reform school over an hour away. A reform school. Blaine was a reform student. And no matter how close they got to one another, they would always have the barrier of those around them. They would not allow Kurt to be with Blaine to the extent he wanted. His father would be livid, Carole would worry for his safety, and Mercedes would become preachy and self-righteous about how he deserved 'so much better' than Blaine.
But Kurt was even getting ahead of himself here because as of right now, they weren't even allowed to be in the same room alone with each other. Which of course didn't stop Blaine... but how long was that camera going to be broken? How long could they get away with seeing each other privately without getting caught?
Kurt couldn't risk it. He'd be putting his graduation on the line and he wasn't stupid. He wouldn't do that for a boy. Even if that boy was absolutely gorgeous and everything about him screamed at Kurt that he needed to keep him in his life. Kurt was very sure that he was screwed.
Blaine told him earlier that he would make sure the camera was still broken tomorrow and if it was, he'd tell Wes that it was okay for Kurt to come back. So, tomorrow he'd have to talk to Blaine about the long-term plans they would have to make if they were going to actually do this.
Realizing that he was laying on his bed, shirt rucked up to his chest, covered in his own drying come, he got up immediately and ventured to his conveniently located private bathroom to clean up.
He was nervous about his future with Blaine, but that hesitancy was overshadowed by the excitement he felt at the thought of getting to know Blaine more. He was so happy that Blaine was letting himself open up. He was trusting him... and it made Kurt both relieved and slightly heartbroken because Blaine has obviously not had the easiest life. Just hearing that one story about his past practically ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it.
The fact that Blaine had been basically disowned by his family made Kurt furious. How could anyone do that to their own child? Kurt had been afraid of what his dad was going to say when he came out to him, but he never had to worry about him casting him away as if he weren't worthy of being his son.
Kurt was lucky, he understood that fully now. He realized that his father is one to be treasured because he was understanding and had nothing but unconditional love for his family.
Blaine didn't have that luxury, and -god, it shouldn't even be considered a luxury. All parents should love their children no matter what. And they should especially not pass judgment upon them for just being themselves.
Blaine was an intriguing person and Kurt couldn't wait to delve deeper into his true self. He hoped that the worst was over. That Blaine wouldn't close himself off again, because he'd already let him in on a big part of his past. He sincerely wanted that to mean that he was 'in'. That Blaine trusted him, even if just slightly.
"Hello again, Wes." Kurt smiled as he entered the study room the next morning.
"Nice to see you again, Kurt." Wes offered back. A knowing smile was present on his face.
Kurt placed his bag beside the desk and took a seat. "Nice to see you, too."
Wes wasted no time, "It's a 'go' for tonight. The camera's still broken, at least for a few more days, not that it matters because you only tutor on the weekends, but..."
"Thank you, Wes. Did he specify a time for today?"
"Same as yesterday." Wes paused for a moment, in thought, "He told me that uh... he told you what 'butterfly' meant."
Kurt froze, ready to face the scrutiny of one of the only people Blaine trusted.
"This- this is big... for Blaine. I hope you don't treat it lightly."
Kurt nodded, "It's... It's big for me, too."
Wes was surprised by Kurt's words, but a fondness quickly took over his features. Kurt thought maybe it was just such a nice change to have someone who finally cared about Blaine and didn't look down upon him or see him as just another troubled youth that has no potential. He was glad to see that he had earned a sort of approval from one of the few people Blaine trusted.
They continued onto their studies, but Wes was a bright student and hardly needed any help. Just a few problems here and there, but otherwise their time was spent talking about various other things. Mainly Wes recounted tales from his past, some involving Blaine, some not.
Wes was an interesting boy. Kurt was very curious as to what actually landed him in Dalton in the first place, but it seemed impolite to ask such a thing. Kurt figured if he wanted to tell him, he would in time. They rarely talked about Kurt, though not from lack of Wes trying. He'd asked Kurt a few questions but he brushed them off politely. It wasn't that he didn't want Wes to know anything about him, but he wanted Blaine to know first and he'd prefer that he heard these things from Kurt himself. It was important for Blaine to know that Kurt trusted him, and it may send the opposite message if he finds out that Kurt's been telling someone else more about himself that he had told Blaine.
"You're wearing pants." Those weren't the words he'd expected to come out of his mouth when he entered Blaine's room.
"You're very observant," Blaine chuckled, sarcasm evident. "Disappointed?"
Yes. "No." And yeah, that was probably the least convincing 'no' ever and Kurt's face heated.
"Mhm." Blaine smirked at him as he made his way over to his bed. "I decided to be courteous and keep my pants on just for you." He folded his legs as he sat down.
"Yes, well... thanks." Yet another unconvincing line from the wonderful Kurt Hummel. He mentally smacked himself.
"Come on, sit down!" Blaine's eyes were brighter than Kurt had ever seen them. Usually dark and laden with lust, brown eyes were now alight with a contentment and almost golden in color. Kurt took his place on Blaine's bed, mimicking his position.
"How was Wes?"
Kurt noticed that Blaine's demeanor was completely different today. He was excitable but fidgety and not silently brooding like he normally was. Blaine certainly was a hard boy to figure out, but Kurt was determined to learn and memorize his behavior.
"He was good. I don't even know why they have me tutoring him; he doesn't need it at all."
"Oh, but I do?" Blaine scoffed but there was a gleam in his eye.
Kurt laughed, "Need I remind you of the 'moan cherry' incident, Blaine?"
"Hey. I knew what it was just didn't have the right..."
"Accent?"
"Yeah. And hey, it made you laugh."
Kurt smiled, his chest tightening.
"Overall, I'd say it was at least an A for effort," Blaine winked and Kurt couldn't help but giggle a bit.
This side of Blaine was... different and so extremely likeable. It was so hard not to just give into all of his desires and tackle his adorable self onto the sheets.
"How was your day? Have you intimidated your new tutor into quitting yet?"
The smile fell instantly from Blaine's face. Kurt could see him building those invisible walls that separated him from the rest of the word and he grabbed his hands in his own. The touch startled Blaine, but seemed to soothe him slightly.
"Blaine, please... closing yourself off to every person who just wants to know you isn't the answer." He spoke softly, inching a bit closer to Blaine on the bed. "You said you wanted to explore me? Well call me Magellan because I want the same for you."
Blaine's fingered stretched beneath Kurt's and moved to intertwine themselves with him. "Why?"
It's so quiet that Kurt is almost not sure that Blaine said it. But he did. "Wh- why? Because I care about you, Blaine. And not in an, 'Oh that poor kid' kind of way so don't start with that. Why do you want to get to know me?"
"Well first of all, you're fucking hot, so..." Kurt noticed a faint smirk provided by Blaine, "But also, you- you look at me differently. Everyone else sees me as this huge disaster that will never amount to anything and I can- I can see it in their eyes, when they're judging me." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hands to signal him to continue.
"But you don't. You don't have that same look in your eyes. You didn't write me off right away... you didn't even write me off after I- after yesterday."
"Listen to me, Blaine." Kurt spoke with confidence. Blaine looked up at him for the first time since he had started to shut himself down. The sincerity in Blaine's eyes rendered Kurt speechless for a few seconds and he almost forgot what he meant to say. "You are an amazing person. I know I haven't known you that long, but do you remember that French phrase I told you that day in the study room? 'C'est pour toi que je suis'; I am here for you."
Blaine closed his eyes and Kurt smoothed his thumb over the back of Blaine's hand, trying to convey the comfort that he so desperately wanted Blaine to feel.
"I'm not worth it." The words struck Kurt's chest like a bolt of lightning.
"What?" Because seriously, what?
"You need this to graduate, Kurt... and I'm not- I shouldn't make you sneak around and risk losing it all just so that I can selfishly have you for a few hours on the weekends. It's not- I'm not worth it, okay? Just... you should just go." Blaine pulled his hand from Kurt's grasp, scooting back toward the headboard.
Kurt was wracking his brain for a reply because... yeah, he just had this thought last night. Well, not that Blaine wasn't worth it, technically... but... they could work around this. There had to be a way that they could have their cake and eat it too. An idea came to Kurt then. It was a long-shot but it was worth a try because Kurt really wanted this to work. He wanted to get to know Blaine; wanted to talk to him about anything, everything... but he also knew that it would be hard considering they were virtually forbidden from seeing each other.
"I have an idea... sort of." Kurt paused, reaching for Blaine's hand again, "And don't think I've forgotten about how you think you're not important, because I haven't, but..." He took a breath, "What if... I become your tutor again?"
Blaine's eyes narrowed, his brows furrowing in confusion, "How exactly do you plan to do that?"
"Hear me out, okay? I can tutor you here for a few weeks, get your grades up, and then when they see your progress, you tell them that I've been giving Wes some study sheets for you and that's how you've been getting better grades. They'll see that you're benefiting from my tutoring and they'll have to put us back together."
Blaine seemed less sure that Kurt's plan would work, but he agreed that it was worth a shot. So they talked to Wes and the plan was set. Operation: Assume Scholastic Services (or Open.: ASS as Blaine respectably called it) was ready to be put into play.
Comments
i was surprised at how quickly i zoomed through all 6 chapters. i was so engrossed by this that i didn't realize i had reached the last chapter until i couldn't find the next button. this is really good. i eagerly await your next posts.
C'est pour toi que je suis'; I am here for you the correct form in french would be: 'c'est pour toi que je suis ici' or you could say: 'Je suis là pour toi' (this one one is the exact traduction but the first one sound better) Keep up the good work it's an amazing story :)