Kurt wasn’t exactly sure why the words “I think I want a girlfriend” coming out Blaine’s mouth made him want to simultaneously vomit, cry, bang his head on the table and piss himself laughing, but god, did he want to. He compromised on all the conflicting emotions and just responded with “Oh?” and a raised eyebrow. Blaine had just nodded and the conversation was dropped with an awkward smile and rustling of homework.
That was weeks ago, and true to his word, Blaine had started dating.
First it was Kate, a gorgeous girl who was quick to smile and even quicker to shoot heart-eyes at Blaine. She lived down the road from the Anderson’s, and in a brief flash of caring, they had set the two teens up. They had gone out to dinner in a swish restaurant nearby Dalton. Sitting cross legged on Kurt's bed, Blaine had told him about how they had discussed politics and the future over linguine, past dating experience over desert. But Blaine protested that she was too eager to please and she just didn’t captivate him.
Then there was Ari. She seemed to be the polar opposite of Kate; loud, boisterous, entirely unconcerned of her appearance in that freeing and sexy way. Ari had lasted almost two entire weeks of phone calls between classes and dinners on weekends. Kurt wasn’t positive, but he thought that Ari was probably the most crucial to Blaine. There was a marked difference in him after they stopped seeing each other. A glow. A confidence that scared and thrilled Kurt in equal measures.
Most recently it was Megan. Kurt couldn’t even find it within himself to notice anything about her. The endless documenting of his best friend's harem was making him weary.
The girls had been paraded in front of him at the coffee house. It was never the dorm, that was still Kurt’s domain, but it still felt off to have them anywhere near the life that Kurt and Blaine shared.
He couldn’t pin it down quite yet, why the entire idea just made Kurt feel wrong. It put him off his food and kept him up at night. He didn’t sing in the shower and he was slower to laugh. It was like there was something sick in their life. And that’s what it was, their life. Dalton, the dorm, their friendship, themselves; they had belonged to each other for too many years. Now, anything else even trying to belong felt like a parasite. Parasites with shiny hair and red lips that Blaine kissed when he thought Kurt wasn’t looking.
They never had time anymore. Outside of class, Blaine was with whatever girl of the week, either at the coffee house, or on the phone, whispering softly in crowded hallways. Kurt only saw him in the dorm, where Blaine, bright-eyed, told him about her. Kurt sat through these meetings, nodding at the appropriate moments and trying futilely to ignore that Blaine was talking about these women who were taking him away from him.
Lying in his bed at night, Kurt tried to find what it was that was so devastatingly wrong. Was it just that Blaine was dating? They had never had girlfriends before, Kurt knew that, but had he honestly expected that they would never date anyone? No, that wasn't the problem. While he was jealous and sad that he didn't get Blaine's undivided attention any more, it didn't explain away the wrong feeling.
Drifting off to sleep, he thought about the girls. He thought about Blaine. He thought aboht them all.

In the dream they were all in the coffee house; him, Blaine, Ari, Megan and Kate. The entire place was packed with people, all ridiculously gorgeous, and all straining desperately to touch Blaine. The five of them sat around a table, sipping coffees, while every single person in the shop fought their way through the writhing crowd, touched Blaine once, and headed out the door. The door never closed, forced open by the constant stream of people leaving and people coming to touch Blaine. The girls at the table fawned over him; Kate playing endlessly with his curls, Megan running french manicured nails over Blaine's forearm, Ari sitting in his lap, grinding every so often. They kept coming, boys and girls, old and young, touching him shyly, darting away like their life's mission was complete once they had touched him. Through all of this, Blaine sat still and smiled at Kurt. Kate dug her hands in Blaine's hair and pulled his head backward. Megan started digging those perfect nails into his skin and wrenched his arms apart. And Ari, beautiful and somehow terrible Ari, looked Kurt directly in the eyes, tossed her hair over her shoulder and started a fierce bucking rhytmn against Blaine's hips.
Still, despite the way directions he was pulled and the people still endlessly touching him, he stared unwavering at Kurt. He smiled, once, beautiful and heartbreaking, then said " enough". They stopped. The girls ceased touching him, and with nothing except a grin from Ari, walked calmly out the door with the crowd. The door slammed as they left Kurt and Blaine alone.

Light peeked underneath the door that Blaine had just shut in anger. His frown ceased when he saw Kurt squinting at him, startled out of his dream.
"Shit." A hand through his hair. "Did I wake you up?"
Groaning and stretching, Kurt replied, "No, i'm clearly still asleep. What's up?"
Blaine bit his lip and shrugged. "Megan just called me to yell abuse in my ear. Something about not caring about her and stringing her along. Whatever. We broke up."
"On to see what's behind door number four then, are you?" Kurt asks wrly. The dream comes back to him, the crowd surging to touch Blaine. There was no doubt that there was a person alive who wouldn't come if Blaine crooked his finger at them.
"Nope." He flopped down on his bed and smiled at Kurt. "You're stuck with me for a while."
And then he smiled, and suddenly Kurt knew what he'd been trying to work out for weeks. He knew why it was wrong that Blaine was dating these girls.
He only ever smiled at Kurt like that.
He didn’t think he had ever realised it before, but they both had a whole range of emotions and actions and phrases and expressions just for each other. They were separated into boxes, the both of them, the parts of themselves that everyone got to see and the parts that only they got to see of each other.
Kurt could tell you everything about Blaine. Ask him any question about Blaine and he’d reply more thoroughly and articulately than Blaine himself could. That’s what happened when another person was your entire life.
That was why it was wrong. Because Kurt knew something Blaine didn’t. No matter how, or no matter when, Kurt and Blaine would be each other’s lives forever. Other people just didn’t figure into that. They would be old and still know every inch of each other like they used to when they didn’t know themselves.
“Blaine?” he whispered across the gaps in the beds.
There was no reply except a quiet snuffle.
“I’m going to love you forever.”