"Anyone who really loved you couldn't do this to you." -Buffy Summers; Beauty and the Beasts

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The feeling of being alone is unbearable. You feel tired and angry and have no motivation to do anything or speak to anyone but the ones you're missing. It was obvious for Blaine, as he lay in the musty sheets of a hotel bed, who he was missing. Kurt. And no matter how hard he tried and in how many different ways to convince himself to miss his fianc�, his mind was trapped on Kurt. He couldn't shake the thought of hurting his only ally. What hurt the most was just how right he was about everything. Blaine knew he hadn't been fair and had been taking Kurt's support for granted. He understood that he should be trying to mend his relationship with Jason on his own accord instead of waiting for the actions of others or the actions of fate to do his work for him.

So as he lay on a bed that had been used by many strangers for many different purposes, Blaine couldn't help but wonder what those other people had come there for. Were they running like him? On a vacation? Maybe even looking for a one-night stand? It was in that moment when he understood that people are really only doing things to get to another point in life. Blaine; hiding from his problems to wait for them to vanish so he could start a new chapter. Strangers on vacation; looking for a better fit, maybe an escape.

He felt lowly and pathetic because he couldn't stand on his own two feet without someone to hold him up. And it wasn't just now; it was always. Even when he was a child he couldn't do much of anything without feeling like he needed to be validated by someone else. He had no one to turn to and no one to ask for directions. Few feel the need to perform without someone to impress which was why when Blaine was alone, he was lost. So when Kurt had told him to leave his apartment he could only assume it was a permanent claim.

"Get the fuck out of my apartment! And for Christ's sake, please don't come back."

The only option Blaine could see for himself was to go back to Jason and hope he could offer some comfort. However, lately, any of his fianc�'s actions felt unwelcome. He remembered the promise he made to Jason when he accepted his proposal; to discontinue any and all contact with Kurt. Blaine knew that when he inevitably woke up to an empty bed, Jason would logically assume that Blaine was at Kurt's and would punish him upon his return. Part of him was telling him to go back to Jason regardless of what it might have in store for him. (You deserve it, Blaine. You know what Jason is doing is because of you) while another part of him was telling him to go back to Kurt and actually try to be considerate of him. He knew neither were good choices so he went with his gut.

Blaine sprang off of his bed unceremoniously and checked the clock on the nightstand. It was only quarter past four so he still had time to make it back to his apartment without Jason suspecting much. He wasn't sure whether it was the right decision but he couldn't go back to Kurt's no matter how much he was itching to. Regardless, he dashed down the stairs and tossed his room key onto the unoccupied front desk and into the parking lot where his car awaited.

Blaine bit his lip once he started the ignition. His foot rested on the gas pedal, still struggling with his brain and his heart. As wrong as he knew it was, part of him did agree with both Kurt's argument and Jason's; he knew in many ways, that both of the them were right. He was selfish and Jason's actions were self-induced. Though Blaine couldn't exactly remember the night clearly, when Jason first hit him, he was almost positive that he had started the fight which made Jason slap him. He shook his head, biting down harder on his lip before wincing and releasing it from his teeth. Skimming his tongue over the tender skin, he tasted blood, realising he had opened the split again. It felt odd, feeling the blood on his tongue when the event seemed so long ago.

The memory almost seemed hazy, like he had dreamed it. The only thing that really reminded it Blaine that, yes, it really happened, was when he fingered the small band on his fourth finger. He should feel scared about it all, about the fact that he agreed to marry a man who treated him much worse than he deserved but in a way Blaine didn't understand, it was almost invigorating. Like a constant adrenaline rush and he didn't know how to stop it.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, Blaine pulled out of the parking lot and onto the mostly-deserted highway. It wasn't a long drive but it was a moment that felt like it lasted forever and was over far too soon and as he pulled up to his apartment he wasn't surprised when he felt his throat tightening and pressure building at the back of his eyes. It was almost unexplainable, why he was crying but it was just one of those things; you don't know why, there's not a reason for it, but you just start to cry.

Blaine squeezed his eyes shut firmly once and tilted his rear-view mirror so he could look at himself. His lip was slightly swollen and his cheeks were just a little bit red from the bruises left there. There were obvious bags under his eyes but he stared sternly at himself in the mirror, convincing himself to look alive.

Come on, Blaine, you're not gonna let this get to you. You're not. You're stronger than that and you know it. And it wasn't long until his thoughts were becoming vocalised and before he even realised it, Blaine was shouting at himself, tears spilling hotly over his eyelids.

"You're better than this!" He screamed, still staring himself coldly in the eyes in the mirror. "Fuck!" Blaine gritted his teeth, his skin feeling like it was stretched too tightly over his bones and his head began to pound. "You can beat this, dammit! You're not gonna let him get to you!" He screamed. His breath was coming quickly now, panting, almost hyperventilating. He balled his hands into fists and dug his nails into his palms hard enough he was sure there would be blood. Tears were still streaming messily down his flushed cheeks and it was everything in his power not to slam his hands into the seats, the widows, the steering wheel.

Every memory of every moment with Jason was flashing across his mind, and he was getting even angrier with himself for not seeing the signs of this earlier. When he had first introduced Jason to his mother, she always seemed skeptical.

"There's something different about that one," Blaine remembered, sniffling harshly. "I can't put my finger on it, but there's something in his eyes." She had said but Blaine was being naive at the time; had twisted his mother's words into what sounded positive.

"God, I'm so stupid!" Blaine shrieked, only making himself feel worse. His head was throbbing now, blood pounding too loudly in his ears. He could remember their first date, the way Jason was always just a little too handsy with him, just a little too rough. Enough to just brush off and not think twice about. Maybe Blaine had only been trying to convince himself that his relationship was healthy at one point to give him that glimmer of hope that it would get better. But it was then that realise that it had always been there; that one thing about someone you just can't place but leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

This cruelty, this threatening, this abuse wasn't new. It had always been there. And it was like being kneed in the stomach, like you had just been told the sky was green when you'd known your whole life it wasn't true. Blaine felt winded almost sick, that he had been that naive, that he had formed this little world for himself where everything was fine and good, loving and healthy when his entire relationship was just a ticking time bomb. It was only a matter of time before Jason would hit him and he should have known, should have seen the signs that were passing him before it was too late.

But now it was. Now it was too late to turn back. Blaine had played into Jason's hand and accepted the proposal and now he was trapped; stuck somewhere that was potentially life threatening. So as he sat in the driver's seat of his apartment and let everything sink in, another thing dawned on him.

"I'm completely alone," he whispered to himself, his eyes searching for something to look at, like a solution would be splayed across the dashboard of his car. And there was that word again. Alone. He'd lost Jason somewhere along the way, he'd lost his father years ago, and now Kurt. He was the one silver lining in this mess and he'd lost him. Blaine couldn't figure out why that left such an ache in his chest. There weren't words for him to explain it so he just sat there with his face too warm and tight from the tears that were spilling down them, with his head aching and his heart clenching in his chest and just relished in the feeling of being alone.

He tried to push it away for a moment just to search his thoughts again, look for something else that could maybe make him just that tiniest bit better but the only thing he was coming up with were memories of Kurt. The first day they met, all the lunch dates they went, the nights they drank too much wine and all the time he'd made Blaine laugh. Smile in spite of himself and in spite of everything. Kurt made his stomach twist up when he smiled and made him feel so self-assured and safe no matter what.

You love him.

As the thought crossed his mind, it somehow made a lot of sense. Why he kissed him and why he always went to him for everything. The thoughts he was having when he was at his apartment a few days before. It made so much sense. Of course Blaine loved him, it was obvious. Of course he did. He grinned stupidly to himself before reality came back.

He has a boyfriend and you have a fianc�.

"But I love him..." Blaine whimpered in defiance to his conscious. Why couldn't it just me simple like in a movie? The two that are meant to end up with one another realise their feelings before it's too late and run away with each other in the middle of the night and they all live happily ever after. Roll the credits. But this isn't a movie. This is life, and Blaine understands that. These were the cards he was dealt and he was to work with his hand regardless of how bleak it may seem. He has to do his best because you get what you're given and he knows that.

So he took a deep breath to compose himself and looked back into the mirror just once and only once before unbuckling his seatbelt and leaving his car. The night air was chilled and refreshing against his fiery skin and his breath was puffing out of his lips in wispy white clouds. Blaine walked slowly to his apartment building, checking his watch which now read 4:57 in the morning. He legs felt weighted and slow but before he knew it, Blaine was turning his key in the door handle of his apartment. He had every intention to just slip in quietly and take his place in his bed or even on the couch but when he opened the door he was greeted with something different.

The lights in the kitchen were on and his heart clenched. He was frozen in his place when he saw Jason being to approach him upon hearing the door open. He was overwhelmed with sudden fear, every ounce of courage he had mustered in the car dissolving under Jason's steely gaze.

"Mornin' sunshine," Jason mumbled hoarsely, planting a too-firm kiss to Blaine's cheek. But without another word, so much as a glance, he walked away and back to what he was doing before. In a way, not knowing what was going on in Jason's mind was worse than being hit. It was frightening not knowing what was in store for him. Regardless of occasionally getting a rush from that feeling, Blaine was frozen. Stalk-still in his place. His heart was pounding and he could feel it thrashing in his chest, could feel his face flushing. Blaine watched Jason disappear from sight into their kitchen.

"Hungry?" He heard him call and he found it in himself to move away from the door. "I figured you might want some breakfast since you've been out for the last few hours. Why not kick start the day early?" Jason's tone was calm, even amiable but his eyes were cold and Blaine knew why. Jason pulled his chair roughly away from the kitchen table, and Blaine winced at how loud the scrape of it seemed. "Sit," Jason said, though it was more of a demand rather than a request. Holding his gaze locked with Jason's, Blaine lowered himself to his seat though he remained perched on its edge rather than relaxing into it.

Instead of turning away, Jason knelt down next to Blaine in his seat, face in line with Blaine's shoulder. He started to clam up again, his eyes directing themselves to a painting on a wall opposite him. Blaine could feel Jason's warm breath ghosting across his skin and it could smell what was left of his musky cologne from the day before. Jason's hand slid over top of Blaine's and squeezed hard, holding it in an unrelenting grip. Blaine could feel his fingers squishing closer together and felt his knuckles crack under the pressure of Jason's hand. He always hated when people cracked their fingers; hated the sound it made and the way it looked to watch. His engagement ring was only worsening the pain in his hand because the jewel on it was burrowing its way into the skin of his pinky and middle finger.

Clenching harder down on his hand, Blaine opened his mouth to groan in pain but no sound passed his lips because Jason suddenly rose up to meet his lips with his own, taking advantage of Blaine's parted lips and shoved his tongue into Blaine's mouth. Taken aback, Blaine squealed and nipped Jason's lip accidentally, only causing the hold on his hand to tighten impossibly further. Jason removed his lips from Blaine's to reposition himself on his lap, pushing Blaine all the way back into his chair. He brought his lips down against Blaine's neck, sucking angry purpling marks against his skin.

He could feel tears springing back up in his eyes and as Jason's teeth clashed with his frail skin, Blaine groaned in pain, squirming underneath Jason and trying his best to push him off with only one hand. He turned his head into Jason's lips, hoping to push him off his neck. "Stop it," he pleaded weakly. "Please, J-Jason, stop...!" Suddenly, Jason's free hand replaced his lips on Blaine's neck, holding his hand firmly against Blaine's throat.

Blaine drew in a short, shaking breath as quickly as he could before his fianc�'s hand closed further around his neck. He could feel his nail's digging in against the flesh, the pad of his thumb pressing too hard against his pulse point. "What'd did you just say?" he whispered darkly into Blaine's ear. Struggling to reply, Blaine just groaned out a measly "mmfgh" before he gave up trying and began to plead with his eyes. Blaine's hazel eyes were staring frantically up into the icy blue ones above him.

Jason shifted in Blaine's lap, repositioning so his crotch was in more direct contact with Blaine. Sickly, Blaine could feel a familiar firmness pressing against his thigh. He's getting off on this, Blaine realised and he almost felt faint but not due to his restricted flow of oxygen. Thankfully, the bind on his throat was loosened just enough for him to speak clearly. Jason's lips attached themselves to the hinge of his jaw.

"I love you, Blaine," he muttered against Blaine's skin and though he didn't know where it came from, Blaine choked out a distorted sob. "Tell me you love me," Jason said and Blaine shook his head as much as he could, his hand still screaming in pain, nails still digging into his neck. He could feel the tears spilling against his cheeks now. "Say it, Blaine, say you love me," he said again, looking him in the eye this time.

With resignation, Blaine grunted, "L-love you," weakly. One hand still in the grip of Jason's, Blaine realised he still had one free hand to his advantage. Swallowing as deeply as he could, he brought his right hand up against Jason's face and pushed him away as hard as he could. It was enough to relinquish Jason's grip on his throat and in the small window of opportunity he was granted, Blaine took one deep breath and shoved Jason the rest of the way off him and sent him colliding into the kitchen table. Still terrified, Blaine scrambled up from his seat and watched in horror as Jason stood up fully, eyes locking with Blaine's.

Blaine's eyes were drawn open in fear while Jason's were narrowed in fury. Before he knew could figure out what was happening, Blaine's legs were carrying him towards Jason until they were face to face and he brought his hand, open palmed, down against Jason's cheek, hard enough that he could hear the smack! of skin-on-skin, hard enough that his own fingers were tingling.

Just as suddenly as it had happened, it was over and Jason was back in control, hands on Blaine's shoulders pushing his back towards the exposed-brick wall behind him. Blaine hit it roughly, head smacking back against it forcibly, hard enough that after only a few seconds he could feel a headache spreading through his skull. Blaine screamed in pain as Jason tangled his fingers into his hair and brought his head back down against the wall. "Get off me!" He shouted as loudly as he could and he knew his voice broke and was almost positive that he could feel blood dripping down the back of his neck. "Just get off!" Blaine's hands fumbled against Jason's on his shoulders and gritted his teeth, his whole face twisting in agony as he was slammed back down against the wall one last time.

"I thought I told you to stop seeing him!" Jason shouted as Blaine slid down against the wall to land firmly against the hardwood flooring. "When I proposed to you it was because I want you to be mine, Blaine! You have to be. You have to be mine. I can't live without you. I need you here," Jason knelt down beside him again and began to pant dryly. Jason curled his fingers around Blaine's chin, pulling his face towards his. "You can't leave me, Blaine. Please. You can't leave me. I need you here. I love you."

Though he couldn't explain why, something in Blaine's chest lifted at his words, hoping weakly that maybe what he meant was true - maybe Jason did still need him. After all, it was only when he went to Kurt that things like this happened. He had already lost him, so why would it be hard to just be with Jason now that Kurt was out of the picture? He could do that. Blaine could be his. He could be Jason's like he used to be.