It had only been a couple of days after Kurt had ended things with Blaine and it felt like the whole world was over and that he couldnt breath at all. Of course he could breath and the world was still turning. This must have been how it feels to lose your first love. Kurt had missed two days of classes, having not even gotten out of bed, except to use the bathroom and when he got so hungry that he felt faint. He just wanted the world to stop for a minute.

XXXX

Finn dialled a number that he hadnt in a while. He wondered if Rachel was still pissed at him for tricking her into going New York by herself when they really should have been getting married. Finn felt bad that things had had to go that way but he knew that what Rachel needed was New York and if her Facebook was anything to go by, she was having an amazing time there. Gone was the Rachel that Finn knew in high school, instead she had been replaced by a beautiful young woman. Still he was sure that she was probably the same Rachel that he knew and loved.

He waited while the phone rang a couple of times before she picked up.

"I dont even know why Im answering the phone to you." Rachel said, instead of saying hello.

Finn was momentarily blind-sided by ther frosty reception from Rachel, but he really needed to talk to her so he pressed on.

"Hi Rachel. How are you?" He asked, wanting to be polite.

"Im good, no thanks to you. Lets cut the crap, Finn. Why are you phoning me?" Part of Rachel hoped that it was because Finn wanted her back. Of course she still held a flame for him. He was her first love and the person that she had thought she would spend the rest of her life with. It hadnt planned out that way but maybe, just maybe, it still could. She didnt want to appear desperate though, he had a lot of making up to do.

"I need to talk to you about Kurt. Hes dating that Blaine guy while the dude is also dating a girl and everyone thinks hes straight. I need someone to look out for him. I dont have any more leave from the army for a while otherwise I would come and look at things myself." Finn explained.

"Wait, what?!" Oh my god! Im going right over there now!" Rachel exclaimed, not having heard much of what Finn said, past the revelation.

"Can you let me know whats going on?" Finn asked.

"Yeah sure. Bye." Rachel hung up the phone and quickly went to Kurts room next door.

She hammered on the door but got no answer. Letting out a irritated huff, she called out his name and still she got no answer. As a last ditch effort, Rachel tried the handle of the door and it opened. Kurts room looked the same as usual, nothing had rteally changed much since she had helped him move in apart from the papers that had increased on his desk. Looking towards the bed she could see the covers shaking and sniffles coming from it.

"Kurt, its Rachel. You have some explaining to do." Rachel said, moving over to the bed, sitting on the edge and pulling back the covers. Underneath was a visibly upset Kurt, his eyes looking red and sore with tears that were still falling. His hair was a mess and he was wearing the sweats and t-shirt that he wore to bed.

All that Kurt did was sniffle in reply, his eyes didnt even move to look towards Rachel, they were fixed firmly over at the wall that held his shelf full of books and photographs that he had. Rachel glanced over to it but couldnt see any of Kurt and Blaine, except for ones where they have been taken in a group shot.

"Finn called and said that youve been dating Blaine Anderson, heart throb of NYU, on the sly. No one even knew that he was gay! Why didnt you say anything Kurt? You know you could have talked to me about this."

The door opened and Rachel briefly hoped that it was Blaine.

"No me gusta! Get out of here now. My boy doesnt need you crawling around him right now." Santana said.

"Wait, did you know that he was dating Blaine?" Rachel asked, shocked.

"Im his best friend, of course he confided in me." Santana said smugly. "Wait, how do you know about that?"

"Finn told me." Rachel shrugged off Santanas comment about being best friends with Kurt.

"Whatever, this is me, officially kicking you out of his room. You havent been here before when he needed you so you cant come in here now for all the juicy details. Get lost Berry before I throw you out, and dont think I will."

Rachel stood up from the bed and stood in front of Santana, and for a second Santana wondered if she was actually going to lash out at her. She seemed to think better of it though and she left.

XXXX

Santana pulled the covers completely off of Kurt. She knew that he was hurting but he couldnt mope forever. He needed to get up and get moving and not let this thing with Blaine destroy him.

"Cmon, up Hummel. Ive given you a couple of days but now you need to get your ass into gear. You need to show that boy what hes missing. Its his hard luck if he cant find the balls to break up with that hoe, not yours." Then a little gentler Santana said "I know you loved him and first loves never really go away but you have to pick yourself up eventually and the sooner the better."

Kurt sniffled, and used the sleeve of his t-shirt to wipe the tears from his eyes, the first sign of movement that Santana had seen since he had called her in tears two days ago. "It hurts."

"I know it does but believe me, it will be okay." Santana said, recalling her own experiences. "Right, cmon, up and get moving. Shower and put some clean clothes on and then you and I can go grab a coffee."

Kurt nodded and made to sit up, his muscles protesting having been in the same position for a long time. The shower did make him feel a bit better. It eased some of the tension that his body felt and he definitely felt a lot cleaner. Hed never gone so long without washing or doing his skin care routine.

While he was showering, Kurt remembered that Rachel had come round and was asking about him and Blaine. Now that he was thinking a little clearer he was anxious that Rachel might open her big mouth and tell someone about him and Blaine. Not that there was a him and Blaine any more. And that thought brought on another round of tears. Kurt hated this, feeling this way, feeling absolutely heartbroken. A part of him wondered how Blaine was taking the break-up but he knew hed be a crying mess right back on his bed again if he thought about Blaine too much.

Why did this have to hurt so much?

XXXX

Blaine lashed out at the punching bag in the gym, not caring that his hands were aching and were soon going to bruised and bleeding but he really couldnt care less. He was so pissed off and angry at himself. He had lost the best thing that had ever happened to him because of his stupidity.

Now that he really thought about it, he didnt even know why he was still with Amy. Forget his family and the stupid business. Why couldnt he be happy? Why did he have to care so much about what other people thought. The only person he should really care about their opinion was himself and the person that he loved. He loved Kurt and it was only really now that he realised just how much he loved him. It was bigger than anything that he had ever felt before. It made him want to forget about everything else. Say to hell with all the things that had been holding him back.

Something that he should have done before.

But Blaine had a plan. And he had already put it into action. That morning he had gone to a new bank and had made himself an account which he had then transferred all of his savings to. His savings were money that he had gotten from his family and from shares that he actually owned in the family business. Hed made the new account in case his family did reject him when they found out about him and his sexuality. Doing that meant that he had some money behind him if they decided to cut off his allowance.

The next step was one that Blaine the most nervous. He had to break up with Amy. He couldnt think of a way to do it. Did he mention that there was someone else? Did he tell her about his sexuality? Or should he just lie and tell her that he didnt think it was working any more? It was basically the truth.

The step after that was of course to see if Kurt would actually take him back. Kurt had obviously had enough with the messing around and Blaine couldnt blame him but Blaine getting rid of the obstacle might not mean that Kurt would even want to still be with him.

He needs to be with Kurt and that need seems more important than anything else. One might say he was stupid for potentially throwing away everything for love but nothing had ever felt so right to Blaine. He hated himself for the way that he had treated Kurt over the time that they had been together. Yes hed loved him with all his heart but making Kurt be with him while he was still dating someone else, and making Kurt hide it from everyone, was a dick move.

He had sent a text to Amy letting her know that he wanted to see her later and she had told him that she would be free later and he could come over to her place. She hadnt asked him what was going on and he hadnt said anything. He didnt know how the conversation would go with her. He didnt really know her that well at all. He had no clue if she would be upset or angry or maybe just indifferent.

That was part of the reason that he was beating the crap out of a punching bag. He was sycing himself up for what he had to do later. Hitting the bag made him relax and it gave him to focus on, rather than all the crazy stuff that had been happening in his life ever since he first saw Kurt. He had no regrets about anything that he and Kurt had shared though, he just wished that it was under better circumstances.

XXXX

Despite showering to get rid of the sweat that he had accumulated while he was boxing, standing outside of Amys door, Blaine was once again covered in sweat and the only exertion was that of the worry that was coursing through him. But he knew that this was what he had to do. He had to be with Kurt and this was the only way that that could happen now, he had to prove to Kurt that he was serious about the two of them and that he was ashamed or afraid to show everyone how much he loved that boy.

Knocking on her door, he knew that there was no going back now. He couldnt chicken out any more.

"Blaine, baby. Isnt this just a pleasant surprise." Amy said when she answered the door and she ushered him inside.

It was weird. She looked the same as usual, beautiful and sexy. This is the girl that Blaine had once felt sexual desire for, and yes he had felt something more for her. He hadnt loved her but he had felt something for her. But now, there didnt seem to be anything. Looking at her, he didnt feel any stirring in him like he had in the past. His feeling towards her had completely changed.

"I need to talk to you, Amy." Blaine said seriously, so that there could be no confusion as to why he was here.

Amy went and sat down on her bed and motioned for Blaine to sit on her desk chair. She didnt say anything, she just looked at him curiously.

Here goes nothing.

"We need to break up. Lets face it, you and I are very different people and it just hadnt been working for months now. I dont even know why youre still with me, Ive been awful to you." Blaine said, trying not to rush it out.

"So whats been going on?" Amy asked, a hint of anger in her voice but her face remained neutral.

Blaine decided to tell her the truth. "Ive been seeing someone else. Only for a little while now but I really, really like them and Ive not been fair to wither of you, dragging you both along."

"Who is the bitch?" Amy asked, clenching her teeth.

"Its not a girl." Blaine said, softly.

A look of shock passed over Amys face before a very angry look replaced it. "So youre a fucking homo now? Jesus Blaine, sure fuck men behind my back, when were married Ill even let you have a pool boy but you are not breaking up with me to be a homo."

"Im not marrying you, Amy. Were over, I dont want to be cheating on anyone. It fucking sucks and Ive hated doing it. Besides the person that I like, I cant hurt them like that. I want them to be able to announce to the world that theyre in love and I want to be able to do that myself. I dont wanna hide any more. Please can you just accept this." Blaine almost pleaded.

"Fine, but youre going to come crawling back to me when daddy dearest cuts off your money and your family start hating you. Youre going to regret this decision, mark my words. Amy spat out.

She stood up and strode over to the door, opening it and indicating that Blaine should leave. Blaine quickly exited through the door, flinching when it was slammed behind him.

He had hated every minute of that but at least he had finally gotten the balls to do it. Now all he needed to do was to make things up with Kurt.