Kurt was sad to be going back to New York. He had really missed his dad, Carole and Finn and while he really hated Ohio, he really loved his family. At the same time as being sad to go back, he was also happy because he would be able to see Blaine again. Calls and texts just didnt match up with actually seeing a person.

However, talking with Finn had really given Kurt some food for thought. He had no clue where his relationship could go while Blaine was still with Amy. Kurt didnt want to be seen as clingy or needy but it was really difficult. Sneaking around was exhausting. Not really being able to express his love for his boyfriend was even harder. Whenever they hung out together in a group it was so hard to keep himself away from Blaine and to make it appear that they were nothing more than friends. Close friends but friends none the less.

Kurt knew that something had to change. He was becoming miserable. He loved Blaine with all of his being but he needed to protect himself. There was a very good chance that all of this could end badly for him and hed be left with nothing and Blaine would go off and marry his girlfriend to make his family happy. What would Kurt do then? When he had spent all of his dating life with someone that he couldnt have a future with? His heart hurt to think of what he had to do. He couldnt go on like this, it was starting to hurt too much. When he next saw Blaine he would tell him that this just wasnt working out anymore.

XXXX

Blaine couldnt get back to New York. He loved his family, dont get him wrong but sometimes it could be stifling. His grandfather was always making jibes at him because of his choice of study and the fact that he didnt want to go into the family business. Blaine hated it. He also hated that his own father wasnt brave enough to stick up for him when it came to Gregory Andersons belittling comments and that of his mothers.

Seeing Cooper had been amazing though. Spending time with him and Skye was great and he could see how amazing his brothers relationship was. Before Skye he had been a bit of a rat when it came to girls, never sticking with one for more than a week, sometimes even just a night. Cooper, though, had given up the life of one-night stands in favour for love and it was something really beautiful. Blaine couldnt have been prouder or more happy for his brother.

Cooper had told Skye about Blaines situation, needing to talk it through with someone. Blaine didnt mind. He knew it was something that needed a bit of processing. For all Cooper had know Blaine had never showed any interest in boys and now suddenly he was in love with one. Skye had been very helpful when it came to guiding Blaine about the situation he was in. She had told him that he needed to do something. He couldnt keep stringing Kurt and Amy along. Of course he had already knew that but hearing it from someone else was harder to hear. Skye had once been in a similar position that Kurt was in now with Blaine. She had been "the other woman". She had believed the guy she was with when he told her that he would leave his wife so that he could be with Skye. It had never happened, instead Skye had found out that not only did he have a wife but he also had two kids. She had never wanted to split up a family and while she loved him, she had walked away from him. It was the best thing that she could have done but at the time it had broken her heart.

Hearing things from what would be Kurts perspective really hit Blaine. All the while he had felt that it was hard on him because he was the one that was leading two lives as such. He didnt imagine that it would be as hard for Kurt because he wasnt potentially hurting the person being cheated on. But in some ways it was harder. The guilt over something that Kurt couldnt do much about. He hadnt chosen to fall in love with someone that was already taken and Blaine shouldnt have really pushed him into it.

Blaine needed to make things right. For him and for Kurt. He needed to end things with Amy before he did anymore damage.

XXXX

Kurt heard the knock at his door and instantly knew who it was. His heart leapt, even if his mind was whirling with confused thoughts that wouldnt shut up. He opened the door with a smile though and pulled Blaine inside. Blaine instantly wrapped his arms around Kurt and they stood together, both of them relishing the feel of each others arms holding them. There was nothing better. For that moment everything else was forgotten, all that remained was a feeling of complete bliss and love.

Kurt reluctantly pulled himself away from Blaine. Oh, how he loved this man but oh, how it hurt. "Tell me about your winter break?" Kurt asked.

"Sure." Blaine said.

They settled on the bed and Blaine told Kurt about his time in L.A. and about how Blaine had told his brother about Kurt. It made Kurt so happy to know that Blaine had told someone about them and their relationship, without being forced into it the way that he had been with Sam. The part of him that was recalling Finns words, however, made him think that he shouldnt be getting excited about something like Blaine actually revealing their relationship to someone.

This was all so confusing for Kurt.

"What about you? How was Ohio?" Blaine asked, gently rubbing his fingers across Kurts hand, loving the soft feel of Kurts pale skin.

"It was Ohio. I never realised how much I missed my family until I returned home. Part of me didnt want to leave and come back." Kurt admitted shyly, hoping Blaine wouldnt take it as to say that he didnt want to come back to New York to him.

Blaine nodded his head in understanding. "Dont worry Kurt, weve all been there. You dont realise how much you miss them in the first term because there is so much going on to keep you busy, meeting new friends and discovering new places with your studies on top of that. It gets easier though. This place will become more like home, you just have to give it time. Youre here though. A lot of people dont make it past the first hurdle."

Kurt was glad to know that he wasnt the only one to feel like that. He had thought that maybe he was just being childish. But Kurt was determined that when classes started back up again in a couple of days, he would make some more friends and involve himself in extracurricular activities. While he loved Blaine and the friends he had made through him, Kurt knew it was probably best that he made some friends from his own year as Blaine and everyone else were in the year above and would be moving on a year sooner than Kurt would. He didnt want to be completely alone when that time came.

XXXX

The weekend after the first week back at classes saw the whole group meeting at the Hangout and catching up with each other. It was a comedy night and there were a lot of acts performing jokes on stage, some funny and some juts plain awful. The group, didnt really listen to that, preferring to discuss what they did over Christmas. It was now that Kurt learnt a lot about everyones home lives, having never knew anything like that before.

Everyone seemed really happy to be back. Santana was especially happy to have Kurt back, not that she would ever admit that. She and Kurt had become really close and she classed Kurt as her best friend. She had still yet to fully open up to him but she knew that she would soon. He was easy to talk to and didnt ever seem to be very judgemental. Kurt was someone that Santana could trust, and she didnt tend to trust easily.

Blaine and Kurt were sat next to each other on the couch. The only contact they had with each other was the feel so each others thighs. They were both itching for more contact but of course that couldnt happen while they were out in public. The thought made Kurt want to scowl. But he loved Blaine and if this was what he had to do then so be it.

Why was it getting harder to keep reminding himself of that?

A girls head appeared between Kurt and Blaines making Kurt jerk away.

"Hey baby? Did you miss me over Christmas? I really missed you." The girl said to Blaine.

Kurts brain stopped working as he realised who this girl was. This was Amy, Blaines girlfriend. Kurt had never met her before, or even seen her. She didnt look like the kind of girl that he had imagined would be Blaines girlfriend. He had imagined someone that would have a similar personalty to him, assuming that he was Blaines type. Kurt instantly knew that he and this girl were not at all similar.

"Hey, gayby, can you move? I wanna sit next to my boyfriend." Kurt shook himself out of his thoughts and became aware that Amy was talking to him.

A little dazed, Kurt got up from his seat and she slid in next to Blaine, instantly wriggling into his side. Kurt stood still for a second, not quite knowing what to do before Santana grabbed him and forced him to sit on her lap.

"Amy?!" Mercedes said scandalised. "Dont call him that! His name is Kurt."

"Oops, sorry Kurt." Amy said, although everyone could see that the apology was fake.

Kurts eyes met Blaines. Blaine had a fear in his eyes and he looked very apologetically at Kurt. Kurt could feel his own eyes watering and he knew that he needed to get out of there quickly.

"You wanna get out of here, Hummel?" Santana whispered and Kurt jerked his head in a nod.

They both stood up and Santana announced that they were leaving, giving some made up excuse. They all said their goodbyes and then Kurt and Santana headed outside to the cold New York street. It was only outside that Kurt felt like he could breath again. Standing outside the door, Kurt bent down resting his hands on his knees and promptly vomited on the side of the road.

He didnt remember much after that but somehow he ended up back at his dorm room, laid in bed with Santana who held him as his body racked with sobs.

XXXX

At one oclock in the morning, Kurt, who had cried himself to sleep, was awoken by a knocking on the door to his room. He got out of bed and wiped his eyes. He knew who would be at the door.

Sure enough Blaine stood at the door and he instantly tried to hold Kurt and take him back into his room. Kurt blocked the way into his room though, and shrugged Blaines arms from him. He saw the hurt look on Blaines face but he had to stay strong about this.

"Kurt Im so sorry. I didnt know that she would turn up there." Blaine apologised profusely.

"It doesnt even matter. What are we doing Blaine? This was never going to work." Kurt said, resigned now.

"What are you saying?! Kurt, I love you! I have never felt this way before." Blaine said loudly, not caring that they were in the corridor and anyone could hear them. "Im going to leave her, I am. Im going to do it soon, you have to believe me."

Kurts tears started flowing again. "I cant do this anymore Blaine. It hurts too much. You ask me to believe you and I just cant anymore."

"Kurt, no! Please, dont do this. I love you, I need you!" Blaine started crying too as he realised what was happening.

"I cant." Kurt sobbed, before going back into his room and closing the door on Blaine who was still stood outside in tears.