Sam met Blaine after one of his classes and was wearing a massive grin on his face which Blaine instantly found suspicious. The best friends hadnt been talking as much as normal because of the argument that they had had about Blaine situation with Kurt and Amy and Sam was still being unsupportive.

Blaine had wanted to go to his best friend and tell him all about the confessions that he and Kurt had shared and it was hurting Blaine that he couldnt do that. He knew where Sam was coming from though and he knew that he was trying to look out for Blaine. It was just in the way that Blaine really didnt want. Blaine kinda wished that Sam was at least a little open to it so that he could discuss it all properly with his friend so that he could make some kind of decision. It wasnt like Blaine enjoyed the hiding or the secrecy. Really he didnt like it at all. But he couldnt just chuck away what he was feeling for Kurt and he had no clue how to go about dealing with Amy and his family. He kept on feeling like he was stuck.

Blaine hadnt actually seen Amy for a few weeks. Occasionally she would message him with little message and he would reply to her. Kurt was the only person that Blaine talked to on a daily basis. Every day they would find some time to meet up with each other, even if it was just briefly. Neither of them ever got bored of seeing one another. Blaine knew that that feeling wouldnt last forever but it was exhilarating for right now. He just loved being with Kurt, talking to Kurt, kissing and hugging him. Even just studying in the school library together, where they couldnt touch each other or talk in any way romantically. They still lit up Blaines day.

Blaine focused as Sam greeted him with a bro hug. "Dude, where have you been? Its been ages." Sam said.

"Ive been busy, you know." Blaine said after Sam had let him go.

"Dont lie to me, Blaine." Sam said. "I know most of your time is spent with Kurt."

Blaines smile at seeing his friend diminished a little. He really didnt want to fight about Kurt. He was still riding on the high over the date that he and Kurt had had at the weekend and he really didnt want anyone to ruin that for him. He knew that Sam disapproved but why did he have to keep bringing it up all the time?

"I didnt think youd want to know about any time that Im spending with him." Blaine said, starting to walk away from his classroom and Sam, not wanting to stick around for Sams lecture.

"Alright, alright. I will keep quiet." Sam said, hurrying to catch up with Blaine. "I was actually meeting with you to invite you out with Mercedes and I."

Blaine couldnt help but smile. He really liked Mercedes but in his avoidance of Sam he hadnt really seen much of her either. "That sounds like fun."

Sam turned and started walking backwards away from Blaine. "Thats awesome. Mercedes had already booked a table for our double date at her favourite place."

"Wait! What?!" Blaine said, looking over at Sam.

"Amys gonna meet us at the restaurant." Sam called and then quickly darted out of the nearest door, leaving a stunned Blaine behind.

God, how was he going to explain that to Kurt. He knew that he couldnt hide it from him. He always tried to be completely honest with Kurt, knowing that that was what made their relationship feel even more real than Blaines one with Amy. The fact that Blaine made sure that Kurt knew everything important made the both of them feel better.

Blaine wouldnt be seeing Kurt till later tonight and he had no clue when this double date was supposed to be and knowing his luck it would be tonight or something to that Blaine didnt have a chance to talk to Kurt about it in person.

Sure enough, as soon as he had thought about it Blaine got a text through on his phone from Mercedes who was obviously very excited about it, saying which restaurant and the time tonight that they would all be meeting there. Blaine wanted to bash his head against the wall in frustration. He and Kurt had plans for tonight. Blaine was going to be sleeping over at Kurts and they would spend the night watching a bunch of movies. Blaine had really been looking forward to it. They hadnt slept in the same bed together since that one time that they had done it accidentally and Blaine was very much looking forward to be doing it again. Holding Kurt in his arms all night or even being held by Kurt just felt perfect to him. He just hoped that Kurt wasnt going to be upset with him about the cancellation.

XXXX

Kurt put down the phone after his conversation with Blaine about having to cancel on him tonight. Kurt had insisted that after Blaine was done there that Kurt would be waiting up for him so that they could still snuggle together in bed, though he wasnt really sure about his decision now. It would feel weird having Blaine after he had just come back from her.

Until now Kurt had been living in a world where, though he was a little ashamed to admit it, he could kind of pretend that she didnt exist. Did that make him a bad person? Probably and that was what made this all the harder. He had never felt this way about anybody before and the one person that he did feel this way about could never really be his.

Because Kurt wasnt stupid. He knew that Blaine and his relationship wouldnt last. Maybe that made the whole thing stupid and him a home-wrecker. Blaine had no plans to break up with Amy and kept claiming that he wouldnt able to because of his family and their business. That left no prospects for Kurt and Blaines future. Kurt wanted a husband someday. Someone that he could raise a family with and come home to after work. Blaine was going to marry Amy, not him. It freaking hurt to think about it. Knowing that their relationship could never really progress and sooner or later they would have to stop kidding themselves and they would have to end what they were doing, hopefully before anyone, apart from the two of them, got hurt.

He knew that it would leave him heartbroken. Blaine would at least have Amy, who he must have had some feeling for, while Kurt would be left alone. Kurt was beginning to feel like he was out of his depth with this whole relationship. He didnt know how to stop though. He wanted Blaine and he loved Blaine. How could he give up something that made his heart swell so much? Sometimes the pleasure was worth the pain.

Kurt shook his head, determined to focus on something else before he got himself into a major funk. There was a pile of work that he had which he decided that he would set his mind to. He didnt want to fall behind with his school work. This was part of the reason that he came to New York and he couldnt let his confused mind ruin his dreams that he had had before Blaine even showed up in the picture.

XXXX

Blaine met Sam and Mercedes outside the Italian restaurant. It was getting colder outside so all of them were bundled up in coats, keeping moving to keep warm.

"Shall we wait for Amy inside?" Mercedes suggested.

The boys agreed with her and Sam sent off a text telling Amy to come straight inside.

A waitress showed the trio to a table in the corner of the restaurant, by the front window, allowing them to look outside onto the busy street of New York. They all said their thanks to the waitress who took their orders of drinks before heading over to the bar leaving them to themselves.

"So Blaine, what have you been up to? Its been a while since weve all hung out. Even you and Kurt havent been coming to our movie nights. Does the muse have you hooked again?" Mercedes asked brightly.

Her being a singer she knew that sometimes the writing bug just took over and they were all familiar with Blaines random disappearing when he had been working on a song. Mercedes mostly had been getting songs written for her by artists that had already made it big. She had dabbled in song writing and had even gotten a few pointers from Blaine. So far all of her original songs had been rejected by her label but she held hope for some day in the future one of her own songs would be out there playing on the radio. For now, as she was still only just getting started she didnt mind singing anothers songs.

"Yeah, you get how it is." Blaine lied and instantly felt a little bad. "Ive actually been working with Kurt on that song that I wrote for him too though." There that was a partial truth.

"Ooo. Hows that going? Ive been so excited ever since you said something about it and I got to hear that boy sing. That voice." Mercedes pretended to swoon.

Blaine chuckled. "Yeah, its something else." Blaine said with a smile, proud that someone else thought as much as he did about Kurts voice.

"I bet that boy is gonna do big things. I cant wait to see what his future is going to be like." Mercedes said.

Sam cleared his throat, startling Blaine and Mercedes from their conversation about Kurt. He didnt bring them all on this double date to talk about Kurt. He wanted to remind Blaine about the perfectly good girlfriend that he had already.

"I bet Amy probably misses you. What with all the time youve been spending with Kurt." Sam said.

Blaine tried to look like that comment meant nothing to him but Sam was trading on dangerous ground and Mercedes wasnt stupid.

"Has Amy not met Kurt? We should invite her along to one of our movie nights!" Mercedes said happily, luckily not sensing the tension between the two guys.

"Hey guys!" A voice called from behind Blaine and he inwardly cringed.

He stood up, like it was expected of him and greeted his girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek. Her cheeks were tinted pink from the cold outside and she wore a long coat with a Christmassy scarf wrapped around her throat.

Blaine returned to his seat as Amy sat in the one that was next to him. She pulled off her coat and un-wound her scarf, draping it across the back of her chair. She was wearing a short little red dress and silky tights. As with many of her outfits, she had a lot of cleavage showing.

"How is everyone? Sorry I was a bit late. I missed the damn subway." Amy sighed, grabbing Blaines hand and squeezing it to warm up her own.

"We were just catching up." Mercedes smiled.

"Actually Mercedes had a good idea. She was wondering if youd like to come to one of our movie nights and meet Kurt. Hes one of our new friends. He and Blaine have gotten particularly close lately." Sam said.

"Whos Kurt?" Amy asked with a quizzical look.

"Blaine hasnt told you about him?" Mercedes looked at Blaine pointedly, wondering what was going on, starting to pick up on something.

"Kurts my new friend. He lives next door to me and hes a Freshman." Blaine tried to give her as little information as possible.

"Wait does he have a friend called Rachel Berry?" Amy asked.

"I believe so."

"Ugh, I hate that cow. Thinks she owns the place now. Someone should show her, her place. She did say something about Kurt. Isnt he gay? Seems a bit wrong to me. Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve." Amy said with a chuckle, leaving the others at the table stunned at her blatant homophobia.

Blaine was utterly outraged. He had never talked with Amy about equal rights, Blaine refused to call it gay rights. He had assumed that Amy would be an accepting person. Not only that but it was insulting to both him and Kurt. Sure Blaine didnt see himself as gay but he was in love with a boy and he was in love with a boy. It was people like Amy that Blaine hid from knowing that they would never understand who they were.

"Wait, really?" Sam asked, shooting Blaine an apologetic look.

Amy laughed. "It just doesnt seem natural, does it? A man and woman were made to be compatible with each other. You wont see two men or two women having children naturally. Shall we get ready to order?" Amy asked, dismissing the conversation.

Blaine tried to control his anger at Amy, knowing that she had very strong opinions on things and she very rarely changed her mind about things like that. Blaine just couldnt believe that he knew someone that was a homophobe, let alone dating one. He had honestly thought that people his age were born just sort of knowing that there was nothing wrong with being gay. Obviously he had been wrong. Now that he thought about it, Kurt had said that there has been kids in high school that had treated him like he was little more than shit on their shoe. Still, it shook Blaine.

No one really knew quite what to say, none of them wanting to cause a scene there in front of all the other patrons of the restaurant so they all let it slide. The waitress came over and took their order. There was now a strange tension to the group sat at the table and the only one that seemed to be oblivious to it was Amy who kept trying to engage them all in superficial conversation that no one but her really cared about.

Blaine excused himself from the table, needing to have a break from her. He wanted nothing more than to be with Kurt right now, and instead he was having to suffer through this stupid evening which they all knew had been ruined now. It seemed stupid to stay but there was no way that Blaine could up and leave without making things even more suspicious to Mercedes or Amy.

Blaine was just washing his hands in the bathroom when Sam entered, looking very apologetic.

"Im so sorry Blaine. I had no idea." Sam tried to placate Blaine.

"Neither did I. God, she just made me so angry. Its people like her that make Kurt want to shine a little less. People like her in the world that arent afraid to cut off the oxygen so that their flame cant flourish!" Blaine said angrily.

"I think we can both agree that she will never be meeting Kurt then." Sam said, laughing weakly.

"Why would you even care?" Blaine said bitterly.

"Hey now! Just because I dont like what you and Kurt are doing doesnt mean that Id ever want to hurt Kurt or you. You are still my best friend, okay? I wanna support you but its hard. You were happy with this girl and then suddenly some guy comes around and completely changes everything. How do you expect me to respond to that?"

"Stop making me feel like a bad person!" Blaine shouted, angrily, before remembering where he was a lowering his voice. "I already feel like a terrible person for what Im doing to the both of them but I dont know what else to do."

"Youre not a bad person Blaine. Youve just got yourself stuck at the moment." Sam said, gently, sensing how upset his best friend was. "I will always be your bro, no matter what. If Ive made you feel that way then Im sorry Blaine. I dont see you as some bad guy."

"I have no idea what Im doing." Blaine admitted to Sam. "I love Kurt and he loves me back, weve told each other that now. Neither of us say it but we know that being in love doesnt mean we have a future together. My parents will get in the way of that, and Amy. Im going to hurt him so much and Im being selfish."

"Hey, Kurt knew what he was getting into, if that song he sang that time was anything to go by." Sam said, referring to Kurt singing Girl At Home at the bar. "And maybe you shouldnt count your parents out before youve talked to them. You have no idea how they feel about gay stuff. And if they do have a problem maybe you and Kurt showing them how much you love each other might help them to change their opinions."

"I wish it were that simple, Sam. Its all about business with my parents. You saw what they did to Cooper. He wanted to be an actor and travel the world. Now hes stuck working in the family business where hes going to work for the rest of his life."

Sam didnt have an answer to that and Blaine knew it. What exactly could he say?

"We should get back out there." Sam said shakily.

Blaine nodded, straightening his clothes as if that would help to unclutter all of the thoughts that were in his head. "Lets go." He agreed.

XXXX

All through the rest of the meal they managed to stick to conversations that were simple, nothing like what they had started with. They had dinner and then the couples shared two desserts between them.

Once outside of the restaurant Mercedes and Sam split from Blaine and Amy, heading back to Mercedes apartment for the night. Sam sent Blaine yet another apologetic look as Blaine was left with Amy, someone he really didnt want to be left with right now.

"So, are we gonna fuck tonight?" Amy asked, leaning towards Blaine to kiss him.

Blaine moved just in time so that her lips grazed over his cheek rather than his lips, he was wanting to save those for Kurt only.

He hated that Amy called it fucking, though that was what it really always had been. They had never been intimate in the special way that Kurt and Blaine were saving. There was no way that Amy would refer to it as making love or anything like that. She had used to tease Blaine about using that term when they had first started their relationship. Blaine had always been a romantic when he was growing up. Unlike a lot of the other boys he held love highly and didnt just want to fool around at the soonest opportunity. Of course hed been teased mercilessly for it but he hadnt cared.

Hed been seventeen when he had lost his virginity to the girl that he thought that he was going to marry. Her name was Rosie and she was beautiful. She had long blonde hair and eyes that shone like stars. Blaine had followed her around like a puppy for almost a year before she had finally given him the time of day. She had already lost her virginity the year previously to the Quarterback of the football team and had gently guided Blaine through the whole experience. He had been so worried about hurting her and messing it up and doing it wrong. She had assured him afterwards that he hadnt hurt her and she had really enjoyed it. He had really enjoyed it too and suddenly he had found a new appetite for sex. Blaine and Rosie had had sex a lot, always making sure to be safe because she belonged to a respectable family and had planned to go to law school and become a lawyer, really not wanting to drag around a kid while she strived for her dreams. And of course Blaine had his own plans that a child wouldnt fit into. Still Blaine and Rosie had gone a lot of places sexually, always willing to experiment. Nothing too kinky and always very loving.

It had broken Blaines heart when Rosie had told him that they needed to break up while she went off to law school thousands of miles away from New York, where Blaine had already got the confirmation that he would be going to. They had promised to stay friends, Blaine hadnt wanted to lose her and they had managed to keep in contact with each other, mostly messaging each other privately over Facebook.

Blaine wondered what Rosie would think about his situation now. It was clear to him that she didnt like Amy very much. When Amy and Rosie had met over the summer, with both of them being back in Los Angeles, it had been clear that Amy had felt very threatened by Rosie and Rosie had certainly thought that Blaine could do better than her. She couldnt even understand why Blaine was with this girl, not being able to see if they had anything in common. He pondered telling Rosie about Kurt. She didnt know that he was bisexual and it may come as a bit of shock but he knew that she was a supporter of equal rights and wouldnt surprise Blaine with any homophobic outbursts like Amy had.

Blaine decided that with Christmas coming up, and his subsequent visit to Los Angeles, where he had already made plans to meet up with Rosie, that he would talk to her about it. Lay it all out on the line and hopefully get some sound and understanding advice. She always knew how to talk to him properly so that he understood where she was coming from and his emotions wouldnt get out of control.

"Blaine? What is with you lately? We havent talked in ages or fucked. Id really like to know what is going on." Amy demanded.

"Im really busy right now, Amy. School is putting the pressure on." Blaine lied.

"Bullshit." Amy said with a sneer. "Apparently youve been spending a lot of time with some stupid twink. Turning gay are you Blaine?"

"Dont even talk about my friend like that. You may not agree with who he is but you dont have to spew your hatred. I dont want to hear it." Blaine said, angrily.

"Whatever. Im getting out of here. Its fucking freezing. Have fun with your hand tonight, Blaine."

Amy walked away without giving Blaine a chance to say anything back to her. God, she was making him so angry, hed never felt so much anger directed at a person before.

Blaine took a deep breath before he started heading towards the subway so that he could get to Kurts room. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with Kurt and block out the rest of the world.

This whole night had been a waste of time, time that Blaine could have spent with Kurt watching cheesy films and eating a load of junk food to himself, because Kurt insisted that it was bad for his figure. It was all these little quirks that made Blaine love that boy, no that man, even more.

Suddenly Blaine couldnt wait to get back.

XXXX

Three quarters of an hour later and Blaine was tapping on Kurts door, hoping that the boy was still up and hadnt forgotten that he said that Blaine could come round. Blaine didnt have to wait too long before a teary-eyed Kurt opened the door and let him in.

As soon as the door was closed, Blaine held Kurt in his arms. "Whats the matter?"

"I was watching the Notebook." Kurt said with a teary laugh.

He wasnt about to admit that not all of the tears were down to the film and that some of them were because he knew that Blaine was out with her. He didnt want to bring Blaine down and he didnt really want to talk about her at all.

Blaine chuckled, finding it adorable that Kurt was crying over a movie. He gently kissed him, holding him close to him. "Would it be alright if we got straight to the snuggling?"

"Of course, sweetie." Kurt said, taking his hand and leading him to the bed.

They got under the covers, Kurt in his pyjamas and Blaine in his outfit that hed worn out, minus his coat. Blaine acted as the big spoon wanting to feel Kurt in his arms. He was utterly exhausted from the day and just wanted to shut out the world. Kurts skin was so warm against his, which was still feeling a little chilly from the weather outside.

"I love you." Kurt whispered.

"I love you too..." Blaine managed to get out sleepily.

It wasnt long before he feel asleep, tightening his arms around Kurt, his nose buried in Kurts hair.

Kurt laid awake for a bit longer. He could smell a strange perfume on Blaine and he knew instantly that it was hers. A few silent tears seeped out of his eyes and he tried to keep himself still, not wanting any heaving sobs to let out and alert Blaine to how he was really feeling.

This was just one of the things that Kurt would have to deal with for as long as he and Blaine were in this strange relationship. Kurt wasnt quite ready to say goodbye to Blaine yet so this was something that he was going to have to get used to. He just wished that it didnt hurt so much.