Oct. 13, 2015, 7 p.m.
Don't Wanna Be Your Dirty Little Secret: Chapter 10
E - Words: 3,031 - Last Updated: Oct 13, 2015 Story: Closed - Chapters: 19/? - Created: Mar 29, 2015 - Updated: Mar 29, 2015 151 0 0 0 0
Thank you all so much for the interest that you have been taking in this story. It means so much to me :D
It had been a week since that night when Kurts resolve to Blaine alone had been completely broken. Remembering back to it, Kurt knew that he had been the one to kiss Blaine with force enough to make Blaine stagger on his feet. They had gone back to Kurt rooms to talk about things further and had spent the night laid together in each others arms, having tired themselves out from all the crying and high emotions that there had been the day before.
It had been a week and Kurt was still a little uncertain about things. He cant get the fact that Blaine has a girlfriend off of his mind and it makes things a little awkward at times. Most of the time however he wants to squeal at the fact that he is with Blaine. He is sure that he loves Blaine, not that he would ever tell Blaine that. At least not yet. Its still too new and he doesnt know the exact amount that Blaine feels for him and he doesnt want to put his heart on the line any more than he already had because it was honestly a terrifying feeling, even thinking about doing it. Kurt had never imagined that he being in love with someone could make things so much more complicated and yet there it was.
They were being very tentative, the pair of them. They knew how fragile this relationship was at the moment. Both of them trusted each other explicitly but there were so many other aspects that could utterly destroy what they had built so far and Kurt and Blaine just didnt want to risk that.
They hadnt told anybody. No one at all. And they didnt do anything that looked like they might be a couple in public just in case. Blaine was quite popular and so a lot of people knew him especially around the bar and around the college campus. They hardly talked at college and settled for giving each other longing looks across to each other before Blaine was whisked off by the friends in his class.
Yeah, Kurt was still having trouble in the friend department at college. He spent all of his time at college alone, not really talking to anyone. He didnt really know where to start. They all seemed very different to him and had found their friendship groups early on while Kurt had been chasing after Sam and now this with Blaine? He was sure he was destined to be a loner. He had Santana and she was proving to be an amazing friend to him and he was so grateful.
His friendship with Rachel was fizzling out. He had no idea where it was going if he was being honest. He couldnt remember the last time he had seen her. She had become somewhat popular, even more so than she had been before. She had her hand in a little bit of everything just like she had in high school, except this time it was making her well liked. She had a posse of people that tended to follow her around. Kurt had attempted to try and spend some time with her but it was like they were two different people now. She had done a ton of growing up and it seemed like Kurt was still the naïve boy that he had been back in Ohio. He sometimes wondered if he ever would lose that naivety and his wide-eyed wonder at things. In a way he hoped he didnt but the world seemed a disappointing place for those that couldnt keep up with it.
Kurt didnt even dare utter a word of this to his father because he knew exactly what his dad would say about it. He would remind Kurt that he mattered and then continue to remind Kurt of all the reason why this thing with Blaine wasnt a good idea. Kurt knew that realistically it wasnt a good idea, he just didnt want anyone to tell him that. That way he could pretend that everything was okay and there was nothing wrong with what they were doing.
He and Blaine didnt discuss it any further because it made the both of them uncomfortable. Blaine hated the position that he was putting Kurt in and of course Amy, though she didnt even know that anything was going on. It wasnt like a normal affair though. He and Kurt werent going at it behind anyones back. They were spending time together, talking about their future aspirations and kissing each other. They hadnt even discussed any sort of sex and in truth, Blaine wasnt quite sure how it would work between them or whether Kurt would want to explore that with him at all. He certainly wasnt going to force the issue with him. He kind of liked the steadiness in which they were taking their relationship. With Amy they had started off the relationship because of sex. He was pretty sure that Amy wouldnt have minded it being a one-night stand. It was his idea to try a relationship. He didnt want to just rely on that with Kurt. Not that Kurt wasnt beautiful and Blaines body definitely reacted to how the boy looked.
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Blaine fidgeted in his chair at the movie night at Mercedes house. Mercedes had picked Disneys Frozen for the first film of the night and while Blaine loved the movie he had others things on his mind. Kurt had asked Blaine if he had wanted to hang out tonight and Blaine had been reluctant to say no to him. Kurt had obviously understood but Blaine had really wanted to spend more time with him. No time with Kurt seemed to be long enough.
So Blaine had concocted the plan to ask the guys if Kurt would be able to join them in their movie nights. They had all become quite good friends and they all loved Kurts reserved wit and good humour.
He worried because Sam knew about the crush that Blaine had on Kurt and might be a bit suspicious of Blaine asking for Kurt to be invited. He hoped that Sam wouldnt say anything or wouldnt think anything of it.
"Hey, guys?" Blaine said, hesitantly, making everyone look towards him and away from the television. "I was wondering if you guys minded if I invited Kurt to these movie night of ours. He hasnt really made many friends of his own at college and I think hes pretty lonely. He gets on well with all of us so I thought you guys wouldnt mind him joining us."
"Aww I wouldnt mind Kurt joining us. That guy has an awesome sense of fashion and he knows how to make a girl feel good about herself. Has he really had a hard time making friends?" Mercedes asked, she had grown quite close to Kurt and found him utterly adorable.
"Yeah, I dont know how he hasnt been making friends. I think hes pretty awesome and I dont see why others dont see him that way." Blaine sighed.
"He does spend a lot of time around use though. And were second years. That might be why he hasnt found many friends on his course or in his year. We can sometimes scare off the first years." Sam laughed.
"That is true. Oh well, he has us and we will always be there for him." Mercedes smiled. "Invite him along. Hell, you can even invite him to come over tonight. Maybe you can go and get him. Hes probably not been over to this neighbourhood before."
"Really?" Blaine asked, trying not to look too happy.
"Yeah, go and get him." Mercedes encouraged.
To Kurt:
Are you still free tonight? You can join us for our movie night :)
Blaine didnt have to wait long for Kurts reply.
From Kurt:
Are you sure your friends wouldnt mind? I dont want to ruin the fun.
To Kurt:
No we all want you here. Please come. For me?
From Kurt:
Give me the address.
To Kurt:
Ill do you one better. Im going to come and pick you up :D
From Kurt:
:D
Blaine pocketed his phone and stood up. "Im going to go and get him right now. See you guys in a bit."
"See you soon!" Mercedes called as Blaine started to leave.
Blaine rode the subway back to the halls and hurried to get to Kurt. Each time Blaine was apart from him it only made Blaine want Kurt more. He wondered if he would ever tire of this guy.
Blaine let out a sigh as Kurt opened the door to his room looking beautiful as ever.
"Can I come in for a minute?" Blaine asked and then lowered his voice. "Because I would really like to kiss you right now."
Kurt smiled at Blaine and held the door open a little more so that he could come inside. As soon as the door was closed behind them Blaines lips were on Kurts and they were grabbing at each other, trying to pull each other closer together.
"Fuck, I love your lips." Blaine murmured against Kurts lips before giving him another bruising kiss.
"We should probably start heading to Mercedes." Kurt said in between kisses, trying to keep himself from moaning.
"Yeah we should." Blaine admitted, pecking Kurt once more on the lips before moving away from him.
They headed towards the subway, keeping a reasonable amount of distance between them. They talked to each other quietly as they walked about how their classes were going that week and what assignments they had coming up.
When they got to the subway and onto a train it was very crowded, a lot of people looked like they were dressed for a night out. Blaine looked around the carriage that they were stood in. the crowdedness of it gave Blaine a reason for him to stand close to Kurt and he put an arm around Kurts waist in order to keep him steady and keep him close to him. Blaine felt the hand that was holding on to a pole be covered and looked to see Kurts hand on his, his fingers slightly grasping Blaine hand.
Kurt smiled shyly at Blaine and in return Blaine tightened his hold around Kurts waist, pulling him even closer to him.
The ride was short and they were both disappointed when it was over. They went back to their no touching policy as they strolled towards Mercedes house which was thankfully not too far away from the subway. When they arrived Blaine rang the doorbell and smiled encouragingly at Kurt, knowing that he was feeling a little nervous.
David opened it and said a quick hello before allowing Blaine and Kurt to come inside. They walked into the living room and everyone gave Kurt a quick hello but nothing much because they were distracted by the movie that they were watching. Blaine motioned for Kurt to sit in the armchair that he had previously occupied this evening. Kurt thanked him quietly as Blaine made himself comfortable on the floor near the chair so that he could rest his back on Kurts legs.
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It was about one in the morning when Kurt and Blaine left Mercedes house to head back to their rooms. As there was no one around Kurt and Blaine held hands all the way home. They didnt take the subway but instead walked all the way back. They were grateful for the time alone and the fact that they didnt have to hide anything between them. Blaine absolutely loved the feel of Kurts hand in his. It wasnt like holding Amys hand. It was less dainty and you could obviously feel that it belonged to a man. Not that Blaine minded of course. It was just different. There were a lot of things that he found himself having to get used to. There werent all that many differences between dating a girl or a boy but the differences that there were, were very obvious. Blaine was not complaining at all.
He knew that other people wouldnt quite understand it. People didnt understand that sexuality was fluid and Blaine did worry that people would judge him when he and Kurt finally went public. And he did one day plan to go public with Kurt. He wanted people to know that he was dating someone so amazing. There was so much to sort out before then one of them being seeing how people will react to him being with a guy. He knew his friends would be fine about it but other people and his family? Blaine had no idea about them. Being the people pleaser that he was he didnt want to let his parents down and his father had a lot riding on Blaines relationship with Amy. Blaine kind of hated that.
Once again Blaine went inside of Kurts room in order to say a proper goodnight to him. He would have liked to have stayed overnight but with his room being right next door there was very little point and hed only have to sneak out of the room come morning time. It was easier to just say goodnight and go their separate ways for now.
They kissed slowly behind the closed door of Kurts room. Blaines hands cradled Kurts cheeks as their lips met slowly and without the frenzy of a lot of their kisses. Blaine loved this kind of kissing the most. It was a kiss that you could differentiate from it being just lust. Thats how he knew that Kurt really felt something for him. He didnt know if it was love but he sure hoped it was because Blaine Anderson was definitely falling in love with Kurt Hummel.
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Kurt sighed and rested his head against the closed door that Blaine had just walked out of to go to his own room. He couldnt keep pretending that he hadnt fallen completely for Blaine. He was in love. It was a first love and a true love. God, it was complicated but Kurt wouldnt change the person he had fallen in love with for anything. He had told Blaine that he was falling for him. It hadnt taken long for falling to transition to him having fallen for him.
Of course the whole thing was scary. Kurt had built up love in his head and he probably knew that his expectations werent quite going to match up to reality. Blaine was coming pretty close though. The boy never failed to make Kurt smile. Heck, even seeing Blaine smile made Kurt smile. Kurt had no escape from this. He was completely and utterly Blaines. Blaine had the power to build him up or to completely crush him to the ground. Kurt just hoped it was the former and not the latter.
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The next time Blaine and Kurt were together alone was a few days after the movie night. They had seen each other before then but unfortunately it had been out in public with their friends so they couldnt act on their feeling s for each other which neither of them could deny was starting to get on their nerves.
Blaine and Kurt laid casually on Kurts bed. Kurt was flicking through a magazine and Blaine had his sheet music in front of him, making small adjustments to his compositions. Their feet tangled together at the end of the bed keeping them connected even though they were doing their own things.
"Hey Kurt?" Blaine questioned, looking up from his sheet music and towards his boyfriend.
Kurt made a little noise of affirmation that he had heard Blaine before finishing reading his sentence and then turning his head so that he could look at Blaine.
"If I said I had written a song specifically made for you to sing, what would you say?" Blaine asked.
"I would think that that was incredibly sweet and of course I would love to hear it." Kurt replied giving Blaine an encouraging smile.
"Ive been writing this song since the first time I heard you sing. You had the voice of an angel and you quickly became my muse. Please dont let this scare you off but I have never heard a sound as perfect as your voice. Its beautiful and I could listen to you singing forever." Blaine admitted nervously. "Ive finished that song that I started working on all that time ago. I was wondering if you would be willing to sing it. Its written specifically for your voice and I dont think it would be right for anyone else to sing it."
Kurt felt tears spring to his eyes at Blaines admission and his heart felt like it could burst with joy. It was so amazing and humbling that Blaine would do that for him. Kurt moved closer to Blaine and kissed his face in different places before finally going in for a kiss on the lips which was gratefully received by Blaine who was still nervously waiting for a reply from Kurt.
"Of course I will sing it. Thank you Blaine. My beautiful and talented boyfriend." Kurt murmured.
Blaine was not used to people calling him beautiful. He had been called handsome or hot but never beautiful and coming from Kurt he truly believe that he was beautiful. With every action Kurt seemed to make Blaine feel more loved than he ever had in his lifetime and he didnt know how long he could keep the knowledge of his love for Kurt to himself. He wanted to scream it to the world.
"No, thank you Kurt. Youve made me the happiest man on the planet. Thank you so much."