Chapter Sixteen

When Blaine had first realised that he was gay he had completely ruled out some situations. For example, he would never hear the phrase "You may now kiss the bride." Don't get him wrong, he did secretly want to get married one day but he knew that when he did, he would certainly not be gaining a wife. In fact, he had sometimes dreamed about him and Kurt exchanging rings. Naturally, another situation Blaine had believed he would not get caught up in was someone coming to him and say, "I'm pregnant, Blaine". It was probably the main thing he thought he would never hear. So to be hearing it now kind of felt like he had been hit head on by a speeding train.

Many people might say that, at a time like this, thousands, or maybe even millions of thoughts ran through their heads. It was so very different for Blaine. His head felt almost empty with just one thing echoing in his mind. Kurt's words were repeated again and again. Those seemingly impossible words. Reality disappears until the only thing that seems to exist is those simple, yet complicated words. Blaine was lost in them.

Something does break through the echoing, making Blaine tumble back into the reality of the situation. Kurt sobbing is probably one of the most heart-wrenching sounds he has ever heard. He hates the sound. Kurt should never cry, that Blaine has established. Blaine had heard the boy cry before but this was different. This physically hurt Blaine to listen to so he could only imagine the extreme emotion behind the sound.

Coming back to reality allowed Blaine to actually see Kurt and witness the pain he was in. It's wrong. It all feels so wrong.

Kurt is still stood in front of Blaine. His arms are wrapped around him as if he's physically trying to hold himself together. He's trying to make himself look as small as possible. His beautiful face was turning bright red, tears streaming down his cheeks like were waterfalls. He was noisily gasping for air, looking as if he were going to pass out.

Blaine's up on his feet and moving toward Kurt before his brain is even able to process it. Honestly it's still stuck behind at the revelation. His body, on the other hand, seems to act as if it is a different entity. His arms wrap themselves around the trembling boy.

Kurt's hands, trapped between both their chests, latch onto Blaine's t-shirt, clinging on to the fabric desperately. He has curled in on himself so much that he can rest his head in the crook of the shorter boy's neck. Kurt's salty tears fall on Blaine's skin, almost feeling painful.

It was hard to know what to say exactly. Blaine had no idea how Kurt felt about the... pregnancy. It still sounds so strange in Blaine's head. He keeps quiet, deciding to wait until Kurt is in a more stable, suitable state. He doesn't want to upset him more by assuming the wrong thing. Blaine holds Kurt until he sobs dissipate and become sniffles.

"Come on. Let's sit down." Blaine said, as he released the boy.

He took Kurt's hand and pulled him gently towards the bed. They sat side-by-side, Blaine keeping a hold on Kurt's dainty hands.

"Talk to me, Kurt."

Blaine figured if he just allowed Kurt to explain then everything would make so much more sense. He'd be able to work out what Kurt wanted so that he could understand what his options were exactly.

"I'm about seven weeks along. I... I found out three weeks ago. I wanted to tell you sooner but I was... I guess I was afraid. This is just so... big." He took a calming breath. "Nobody else but my family know. My dad kept going on at me about telling you so he could have your information for the adoption forms."

Ah, so that was what Kurt wanted to do.

"Why not just terminate it, if you don't want it?"

"An abortion could put me in a lot of danger. There are apparently a lot of risks to this pregnancy." Kurt said sadly. "But I'm keeping my baby."

"Then why the-"

"Adoption? It's my dad's idea. I guess he just assumed that I didn't want it. I need to tell him the truth, I know that, but I've been so terrified. It's all just so overwhelming." Kurt sighed.

Blaine relaxed a little when he realised that Kurt was going to keep the baby. He hadn't even known that he'd been tensed. Truly he had no idea what was going on, his head was all muddled. He couldn't imagine what Kurt was having to go through. There was no way he could judge him because the situation was most likely ten times harder for him.

"But just so you know, I'm going through with this, with or without your help. I'm not going to force you into anything. I need you to decide whether this is what you want." The boy who had been a mess before, now spoke with strength and conviction.

XXXX

Blaine knew there was no way he could give Kurt an answer at that very moment. Mostly because his head didn't seem to produce an answer. No, this was something he'd need to think about. This changed his whole life. There was no way a rash decision could be made.

He felt sorry for Kurt in a way. The decision had been forced upon him and, unlike Blaine, he didn't have the luxury of time to decide. Blaine could walk away from it all if he wanted. Kurt couldn't escape this and, even if he did choose to give the baby up, nothing would ever return to the way it had been.

But now that Blaine knew, it wasn't something that would ever go away. There would be a child that was biologically his walking around somewhere, and Blaine wondered if he'd spend the rest of his life subconsciously looking, wondering about the life that he had helped to create.

Another question was, how many chances was he going to get at this? He'd never heard of a man getting pregnant before. What if this was Blaine's one chance of having a biological child with the person he loved?

What if he lost Kurt through all of this?

"You don't have to decide right this second. I want you to be sure. You can even talk it over with people if you need to, just not too many people."

"Thank you for understanding... God... I never would have imagined..." Blaine trailed off.

"Do you want to-? I mean, we can read through the leaflets together, to help... Only if you want to..?" Kurt tripped over his words.

"Of course. Come here." Blaine put an arm around Kurt, tucking him close to his side.

Kurt snuggled into Blaine and it warmed Blaine's heart to know that Kurt trusted him that much. Through all the confusion, one certainty shone brighter than any star. Blaine loved Kurt. Nothing could change that and no matter what, Blaine would hold onto that fact as tightly as he could.

They both looked at the leaflets and Blaine was amazed at some of the information that they held. He was shocked to say the least. It was like a whole new world had opened up to him. Occasionally Blaine would question Kurt, and he would try to answer as best as he could, but of course he didn't know all the answers. In his head, Kurt made a list of all of the questions he wasn't sure of, in order for him to ask the doctor at the scan. Which reminded him...

"Um, I actually have a scan next week. You could come if you wanted to?"

"Really? You want me to go?" Blaine asked.

Kurt nodded his head shyly.

"I'll go! Definitely!" Blaine said.

He was a little excited, he must admit.

Blaine was happy that Kurt wanted him there and he wondered what it would be like, seeing what he had helped to create, in person. He hoped he had made a decision by then. But maybe the scan would change things? He hated how unsure he was at the moment and could only hope that he reached some kind of clarity soon.

XXXX

Blaine woke up suddenly and it took him a little while to register where he as and what had happened.

The first thing he noticed was that he was almost unbearably hot. The next thing he noticed, as he tried to move, as the weight of a person on him. Looking down, he could see Kurt fast asleep in his arms, still in yesterday's clothing choice.

The day before returned to the forefront of Blaine's mind and he estimated that they had probably dozed off at some point, in between talking.

Suddenly the warmth didn't bother him as much. Kurt looked cute, almost child-like, as he dozed, snuggled up to Blaine. There were no traces of sadness or pain on his face, as there had been before. Instead, there was a look of contentment and absolute peace. His pale skin looked soft and kissable, but Blaine resisted the temptation. He had things to figure out first.

Resisting was a chore. Kurt's breath ghosted over Blaine's skin, making it tingle with what felt like anticipation. Then Kurt smiled in his sleep. Whatever he was dreaming about, it obviously made him happy. The boy snuggled further into Blaine's embrace, sighing the shorter boy's name.

Blaine's heart clenched. He loved Kurt so much. Having him in his arms but being unable to do anything was like some kind of sweet torture. It left Blaine wondering when he had become such a masochist.

XXXX

Kurt opened the front door to his house as quietly as he could. He was going to sneak up the stairs and try to avoid his dad until the last possible moment. Or, at least, until Carole got home to hide behind. He knew it was immature of him but he was too emotionally drained to even think about facing Burt. He really needed to get himself together first.

Unfortunately, as soon as he has slipped into the door he was met by a very angry Burt. There was no way he was going to get out of this one.

"I'm disappointed in you, Kurt." Burt said, his voice dangerously calm.

Kurt couldn't help but recall the last time that his dad had said that he was disappointed, and the horrible events that had occurred afterwards. He shuddered at the memory but he knew that he couldn't back down from the present situation.

"Dad, I had to go. I had to explain to him. He needed to be told."

"Do you remember the last time you spent the night out? How could you be so irresponsible?" Burt's voice was getting louder.

"Of course I remember!" Kurt burst out. "It's not like it can happen twice!"

He was caught between being angry with the whole situation, and upset. It hurt that his dad seemed to think so little of him. In Kurt's eyes he had only made one mistake. Yes it was a huge one to make but, to be fair, never in a million years could he have known that it would happen. It wasn't like he knew the risks of pregnancy would apply for him, too.

"This is exactly what I mean, kid."

Kurt rolled his eyes, trying to keep from getting overly emotional. He tried to change the subject slightly.

"I talked to him, dad. He's going to come to my scan with me. So you don't have to come, if you don't want to."

Burt gave him a look and Kurt knew that the change had done nothing.

"What's the point of him going to the scan? It's not like he can change your mind. No. It's best that he doesn't go."

"I want him there. He's coming no matter what you say!"

Kurt stormed off to his bedroom, tired of the argument. Consciously, he knew it was his hormones and that he'd have been a lot calmer normally, but right now it seemed like the end of the world. He couldn't deal with it right now.

XXXX

Burt sighed heavily as he watched Kurt leave the room. In his head he'd pictured a calmer discussion, nothing like what had actually happened.

He was only trying to look out for Kurt and make things as easy as possible for him. It was his job as a parent, after all. Sure, most of the time he didn't really know what to do, but who would when faced with something that, before it happened, it didn't even seem imaginable.

That was why Burt had thrown himself into getting the adoption proceedings sorted out. It meant that Kurt had one less thing to worry about. He didn't want his son stressed because of the risks that came with the pregnancy. Truth be told, Burt was terrified of the thought of losing Kurt should something go wrong with the pregnancy.

When it came to Blaine, Burt, on the whole, actually liked the kid. Sure he seemed like a tough guy but Burt suspected that, like with Puck, it was an act. However, that didn't stop him from being angry at the boy for knocking his kid up. It was irrational. It wasn't like Blaine knew that it would happen and it's true that it 'takes two to tango'. For some reason he just stuck the blame on Blaine.

But all Burt could do now was keep an eye-out and make sure everything was okay. He had a feeling that he'd be getting the silent treatment now.

XXXX

After Kurt had left to go home, Blaine decided he would stick around at Jeff's and maybe talk to him and Nick about the pregnancy. After all, they were gay as well and they might actually know a little bit more than he did, but he wasn't going to hold his breath.

Blaine started whipping up some pancakes for his friends that were still sleeping. He knew when they woke up they'd all probably be feeling like crap with hangovers. He was glad to be avoiding the morning-after effects of alcohol and he had Kurt to thank for that.

The whole evening had just sort of passed by without with him or Kurt realising. Blaine couldn't even recall wishing Kurt a 'Happy New Year'. It just seemed to have passed them both by as if they were in their own little world. Blaine didn't particularly mind that he seemed to have missed it. He had spent it with Kurt and that was all that really mattered.

Slowly, the friends he had neglected last night wandered into the kitchen. They sat down and started gulping down the pancakes that were prepared as Blaine got everyone coffee. They all muttered their thanks.

"Where were you last night?" Wes attempted a smirk.

"Kurt and I went upstairs to talk."

"I bet it was a really great talk."

"We didn't do what you're implying, Wes. We really did just talk."

"Did you sort out things between you two?" Nick asked, tiredly.

"Not yet. But we're getting there." Blaine said with a smile.

One by one the Warblers started to leave. Blaine was waiting until only Nick and Jeff remained, he wasn't about to betray Kurt's trust and tell all of the Warblers. Finally everyone had left and Jeff sat looking at Blaine expectantly.

"You've obviously stayed for a reason, so spill."

Blaine mentally prepared himself for the conversation. This must have been how Kurt had felt last night. He had no idea what they would think.

"Have either of you heard of the Mpreg gene?"

Both the boys looked at him confused.

"Guess not." Blaine chuckled dryly.

"So what is it?" Jeff pressed, curiosity peaked.

"Get your laptop."

Jeff retrieved his computer and searched the internet for Mpreg. Clicking on the first result he gasped.

"What? What is it?" Nick questioned.

"The Mpreg gene is found in some males allowing for them to conceive and carry a baby..." Jeff read aloud.

Blaine nodded, taking the laptop from Jeff. The page was made by a charity called 'Father and Baby' or 'F.A.B' for short. All three of the boys read through all of the information the site held. There were even blogs attached to the website where men posted about their experiences throughout their pregnancy and after. Pictures showed men with very large bums under their shirts and then men with their children. Blaine envisioned Kurt with a bump like the ones in the pictures and a warm feeling spread through him.

"Well as much as we love learning new things, what is the point of all this?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah, are you like pregnant or something? Is that why you weren't drinking last night?" Nick pressed.

"Not me." Blaine said quietly.

It took a minute for the boys to analyse what Blaine had said. They both gasped dramatically when they realised what that meant.

"Kurt's pregnant?!"

Blaine nodded. "Please don't tell anyone. Kurt doesn't want people to know yet. He said I could tell a few people but not too many."

Nick and Jeff both understood and swore that the news would go no further. They were in shock though. This news meant that...

"You're going to be a dad."

"That's where I need your advice." Blaine paused. "Kurt has basically given me an opt-out option. I have to decide whether I want to be a part of the baby's life or not."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet." Blaine answered truthfully.

XXXX

Being back at school with Blaine knowing about the pregnancy was a very strange experience for Kurt.

If he had thought that Blaine had been protective before, this definitely topped that. He was constantly around Kurt, with a part of him always needing to be touching him as if it were a sign that Kurt was still there. It was a little suffocating but that was probably because, before Blaine came into his life, he'd never really had someone to care that much. He'd felt a little invisible before but not anymore.

Kurt dared to think that this new behaviour, since learning about the baby, could mean that he wouldn't have to go through this alone. He hoped, desperately, that it meant that Blaine cared about the life that was growing. He knew he probably shouldn't get his hopes up and risk complete heartbreak but he couldn't seem to help it. He didn't really want to have this baby all on his own, but he would if he had to.

XXXX

"So the appointment's today. You nervous?" Blaine asked.

He and Kurt were sat in the corner of the library, far away from everyone else, so that they could talk privately. Ordinarily,, Blaine would have just gone outside under the bleachers but it was still bitterly cold and he knew that having Kurt outside for too long wouldn't be good for him.

"I'm terrified." Kurt admitted. "What about you?"

"Well, yeah, I am nervous but I guess I'm kind of excited too, ya know?"

Kurt knew exactly what he meant. He was feeling it too. In fact, he predicted that he'd probably feel the same way throughout the whole of his pregnancy and maybe even after. Who knew?

"Are things any better with your dad?"

Kurt wished that he could respond positively but in truth he hadn't actually spoken to his dad since their argument. It may have seemed silly and petty but Kurt had to stand his ground and start being responsible for himself if he was going to be a father, which he was. He couldn't rely on his dad to make the decisions. He knew he was only acting out of love,, but Kurt was just so frustrated with feeling like a child. He was going to be a parent!

Kurt shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. It's my fault."

"No, it's not. My dad and I are just being stubborn. It's not really over you at all so please don't feel guilty."

Blaine looked dubiously at Kurt. He didn't believe the boy but didn't say anything more.

Honestly, he didn't want to stress Kurt anymore than he already was. He looked completely and utterly exhausted. Even more so than he had. When Blaine had asked him about it, as delicately as he could, Kurt had told him that it was just morning sickness that was taking it out of him. Blaine had actually been there a few times when a sudden bout had left Kurt with his head over the toilet bowl. Kurt told him it was normal, but promised that at the scan he would ask the doctor to change the dosage on his anti-nausea medication.

Blaine was just so worried about Kurt.

XXXX

Sitting in the waiting room was a nerve-racking experience and apparently that was the case for Kurt as well as Blaine. He had taken a hold of Blaine's hand and was holding it in a vice-like grip. Neither of them spoke but the silence wasn't uncomfortable.

Blaine could see some people shooting them glares but thankfully no one came over to them to act upon their hate. Luckily, Kurt didn't seem to notice anyone looking.

When they were called, Kurt walked quickly to the doctor's room, still attached to Blaine's hand. They were greeted by a cheery looking woman.

"You must be daddy number two. I'm Dr Reynolds and I'll be taking Kurt and that little baby." She smiled brightly at Blaine.

"I'm Blaine Anderson." Blaine said, shaking her hand with the hand that wasn't being gripped by Kurt.

Kurt got into the chair while the doctor questioned him and he answered as best as he could. Blaine did his best to listen to everything that was being said but he had to admit his head wasn't really keeping up to speed at that moment.

"Well that all seems fine. I would like you to put on some more weight by the next time I see you. You're a little underweight right now and I want to keep an eye on that. I'm sure Blaine here can make sure you're eating properly."

"I'll do my best." Blaine answered nervously.

"Right. Let's have a look, shall we?"

Blaine's heart was pounding fiercely. This was it. This was the moment. He was about to see the life that he had helped create. It was scary and exhilarating at the same time.

Dr Reynolds turned the screen so that both boys could see it.

Blaine stared in awe. There was his baby. A life that hadn't even existed eight weeks ago. He had never seen anything so amazing. Kurt was smiling warmly at the screen. He couldn't quite grasp that, that was growing inside of him.

"Are you boys ready to hear the heartbeat?"

Both of them nodded. There was a tense moment as they waited to hear something. And then there it was. Their baby's fluttering heartbeat filled the room. It was one of the most perfect sounds that either boy had ever heard. No one piece of music could ever compare.

Tears slipped down Blaine's cheeks soundlessly. He turned to look at Kurt who was in much the same state as he was. Their eyes met and they gave each other a watery smile.

"I'm gonna be there, Kurt. I'm gonna help raise this baby with you. God, I love you so much, Kurt. I never thought I could ever love someone so much. Thank you for what you're giving me."

Kurt tugged on Blaine's hand, pulling him closer. Blaine lowered his head and his lips met Kurt's in a kiss that he had been longing for, for what had felt like forever.

This was that start of Blaine's family.