Sept. 4, 2013, 5:20 a.m.
Our Distance: The memories that come back to us
T - Words: 4,890 - Last Updated: Sep 04, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 19/19 - Created: Aug 07, 2012 - Updated: Sep 04, 2013 389 0 0 0 0
Blaine.
He had forgotten for a second that he and Blaine had fallen asleep, yesterday. Wait, what time was it? What day? He looked to Blaine, who was still asleep soundly in his arms. Looking peaceful and Kurt tried his best not to wake him when he stretched his left arm over to the dresser beside his bed and grabbed his phone.
They must have come up from under the duvet sometime in the night.
Kurt looked over to the window to see it was bright outside. He unlocked his phone and looked at the time.
Two o'clock in the day.
How long had they slept for. They had come up to Kurt's room last night at six; Kurt had used his phone to text Finn but never looked at the time. That's the last time he remembered. Had Kurt ever slept this long before?
Kurt put his phone back and put his arm around Blaine's waist again. He kissed the top of Blaine's head, not meaning to wake him up, but Blaine started to stir in Kurt's arms.
"Um, you…you smell…" Blaine let out a yawn before finishing his sentence. "…good. So…good." Blaine was already drifting back to sleep.
"I do not. I smell really bad, and so do you." Kurt giggled as Blaine quickly moved his head to have his chin resting on Kurt's chest and looked up to meet his eyes.
"You are mean." Blaine broke out into a smile before moving again, his mouth to Kurt's neck.
"Blaine…" Kurt forgot what he was going to say. Damn Blaine, damn him. Kurt felt Blaine's tongue against his skin, going slowly up the side of his neck before stopping at Behind Kurt's ear and suddenly Kurt felt teeth against his skin, it wasn't hard, just gently. He could feel Blaine's lips now, kissing the spot his teeth were just gently biting at. He then felt Blaine's hand, slowly going under his shirt, across his side, back up to his chest, slowly trailing back down his chest.
Everything else went from Kurt's mind, everything expect for Blaine, Blaine, Blaine.
Blaine moved his right leg from under Kurt's and put it to the other side of Kurt, his body now against Kurt's.
Neither of them said anything. All that could be heard was their breathing. The movement of their bodies over the duvet.
Blaine trailed kisses up Kurt's neck, slowly, softly, lovingly. His lips found their way to Kurt's, but before he could kiss Kurt, Kurt had his hand over Blaine's mouth.
"I have…" Kurt tried to even his breathing. "…bad morning breathe and so…so do you."
"I don't care, I don't." Kurt didn't have time to respond because Blaine's lips were back on his. In a deep, full on, passionate kiss. Kurt let his hand's fall over Blaine shoulders, one resting on the back of Blaine's head, pulling him in closer. Kurt could feel Blaine against him. Kurt had his hand on the bottom of Blaine's shirt, pulling it up, before he knew it. They pulled away from each other for a second, getting Blaine's shirt of and colliding their lips back together.
"I…I love you. God, I love…y-you so much, Blaine."
"You to honey. I'll always love…you." Blaine mumbled into the kiss, smiling against Kurt's lips. Smiling because he forgot everything that happened yesterday, forgot everything for now.
Kurt walked into the kitchen humming to himself, in a clean pair of clothes and after a nice warm shower. Kurt had forgotten to. Everything that happened yesterday to, until he saw his dad sat at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper and having coffee. Kurt's humming stopping, his smile faded, and he was pretty sure he stopped breathing. He stopped at the kitchen door when he saw his dad look up at him, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Dad," Kurt let out of his mouth before knowing he did.
"Afternoon, there's coffee in the pot for you and Blaine if you both want some." Then Burt gave him a little smile as Kurt nodded, returning the smile.
He walked over to the cupboard taking out two mugs, not even sure if he wanted coffee anymore but filled the two cups with coffee anyways. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out the milk, not daring to look at his dad. When he had the coffee made he didn't move, he just stood with his back to his dad and looked down to the two untouched cups of coffee, watching the steam slowly rise from them and then disappear somewhere in the air.
"Hey, bud, can I talk to you for a minute?" Burt's voice said softly, and Kurt tried to find angry in Burt's voice, but there was no one. Kurt nodded his head and turned around to take a seat across from his dad, who had put down the newspaper and folded his hands on top of it and looked towards Kurt.
"I never told you this, and I don't know why I haven't. Maybe I thought if you had knowing and that if it someday happened to you that you could just throw it back in my face. You deserve to know this Kurt and you don't deserve to be told what you want is wrong because…it isn't." Kurt was confused; his dad always told him everything, didn't he? "I did what Blaine did, I asked your mum to marry me?" Kurt let out a little laugh.
"Yeah, dad I know. You both got married remember."
"Hold on, let me rephrase that. When I was Blaine's and your age, I asked your mum to marry me." Burt seen the shock on Kurt's face, but went on. "Yes, we did get married at twenty, but we were engaged for two years before that. No one knew. We kept it to ourselves and decided to tell our parents when we were older. It didn't work out that why though."
"What happened?" Kurt asked curious, why had his dad never told him this before?
"I let it slip to my dad one day while I was fighting with him. We were fighting over me wanting to move away with your mum, but your granddad and grandmother said it was a bad idea that our family and your mums family shouldn't mix. Now they all get along, they did after a couple of years but they didn't want us together because we were to different. Our families were too different."
"It's like Romeo and Juliet." Kurt broke out into a smile and Burt had to chuckle at that. "But why did you never tell me?"
Burt took a deep breath in and out before answering. "I knew if you had knowing that and if what happened to me and your mum ever happened to you, you could of just said that to me yesterday and I wouldn't of had an answer back for you, to stop you." Kurt looked at him more confused now.
"Dad, I really don't get it. If you went through that with mum then you know this isn't just some silly love me and Blaine have, that it's real."
"I know, and that's what scares me the most bud. Your mum lit up my day, every day, she could make me laugh even if I was crying, she could turn a shitty day into the best day, and I see that with you and Blaine, I see everything me and your mum had, in you and Blaine. And it scares me that someday, someday, you could lose him, just like I lost your mum, and I never want you to go through that heartbreak I had to." Kurt looked down to his hands in his lap. His fingers brushing against each other's. He could feel tears in the back of his eyes trying to break through.
"The hurt means how much you loved her, dad, it meant you had the best love, that she was your soul mate, and…and if anything did happen to Blaine, I would of rather of had him in my life then not at all. Because dad…" Kurt looked up to meet Burt's eyes. "…he's it for me and you…you know that. I don't want to do something you don't want me to, but if you can't accept it and no matter how much it hurt's, I'm always going to do it, and if it's a mistake, then it's my mistake, but marrying him…" Kurt looked out the door, like he was waiting for Blaine to walk through them right now. "It will never be a mistake. Not marrying him, that's a mistake." Kurt was surprised Burt smiled at him, he expected something else, and he didn't know what, just not a smile.
"When did you become so growing up?" Kurt let a laugh escape his lips before getting up from the table, as did Burt, and pulled his dad into a big hug.
"Marry that boy. But do me a favour?" Kurt nodded his head as to answer yes.
"Have a long engagement." They both chuckled as they pulled away from each other.
"Promise." A thought came in to Kurt's mind and Burt saw Kurt's turn from happy to sad.
"Kiddo, what's up?" Burt asked concerned.
"Blaine's parents."
"Carole and I talked to them last night. I don't know what they're going to say to you both but Nick has calmed down. Just give them time and see what they say but no matter what, if he ever needs to, he can always stay here, whether you're here or in New York he can stay. He's our family."
"Thank you, dad. That's means a lot. I better go up and see what's taking him so long, he's been in the shower for ages." Kurt gave him dad a smile before heading up the stairs and into his bedroom. Blaine still hadn't come out of Kurt's bathroom. The door was shut over. Maybe he decided to take a bath. Kurt walked over to the door and knocked on it.
"Hey, sweetheart? You okay in there?" no answer.
"Very funny Blaine, answer me."
Silence.
"Blaine, come on, answer me." Kurt started to get more panicked, why wasn't Blaine answering?
Burt walked into Kurt's room holding two cups of coffee. "Hey, you forgot these….Kurt?" Burt looked over to Kurt standing at the door looking worried.
"He's not answering me."
"He probably can't hear you over the…"
"Blaine!" Kurt knocked even harder, harder, harder. "Blaine!"
"Kurt, do you have a spare key for the bathroom?" Burt asked, getting worried to.
"In…in my money box thing." Burt nodded and ran to get the key out of the box, once he had it; Kurt took it of him and put it in the key hole. His hands were shaky doing it but he finally got it open. He pushed the door open; it ended up hitting against the wall.
Kurt caught sight of Blaine straight again. Blaine was sat in the bath, the water pouring down on him. He never got out of his clothes. He just sat there with his arms around his knees pulled up against his chest, staring at the wall in front of him. He never looked up when Kurt came in.
"Blaine! What are you doing?" Kurt half shouted half cried, running over to turn the water of, it was freeing, the water was the coldest it could be.
Burt had come in straight after Kurt, when he saw Blaine, saw Kurt half crying and turning of the water, he didn't know what to do, expect go back to Kurt's room and grab towels.
Kurt kneeled down on the ground, putting his hands on either side of Blaine's face to look at him. Blaine did look at him, looked at Kurt like he hadn't just been sitting in water pouring down in him, in his clothes, and as if Kurt wasn't panicking now, worry all over his face, worry in his eyes.
"It's really cold." Blaine whispered to Kurt, like only Kurt could hear it.
"I…come on y-you need to get o-out of the bath." Kurt tried to keep his voice together as he put his arms around Blaine's waist.
Burt walked back in with the towels, dropping them on the floor, to help Kurt get Blaine out of the bath. With Kurt and Burt both getting him out, it made it easier. They got him out of the bath and sitting down onto Kurt's bed. When they did, Burt went back to the bathroom and picked up the towels and returned to the bedroom. He put the towels around Blaine and Kurt helped; Blaine sat there, in his thoughts, forgetting what was happing right now.
"Bud, get him dried, and into dry clothes. I will go lit the fire and make warm coffee. He's going be really cold for a while." With that Burt was out of the room and down the stairs.
Kurt did as Burt said, he wouldn't let what happened take over his mind yet, he needed to get Blaine dried and in front of the fire to warm up.
"Blaine, honey, I need to take of your shirt, will you put your arms up for me so I can do that." He just got a nod from Blaine and that was enough. Kurt stood in front of Blaine pulled the shirt over him as he put up his arms. When Kurt had him dried, he got clothes out of the drawer, put his tracksuit bottoms and an old Dalton Jumper onto Blaine. He put a pair of clean socks on to. He had all the clothes on Blaine. He picked up one of the towels to run over Blaine's head again, drying as much as he could with the towel, before throwing it to one side and kneeling down in front of Blaine and putting his hands over Blaine's.
"Hey, let's go downstairs to the fire, okay? It will warm you up. You and I can just snuggle up beside the fire like we always do." Kurt said softly, looking up to Blaine's eyes, that looked lost, but he nodded slowly anyways. Where was Blaine's head at?
"Okay." Kurt said before getting up, holding on to Blaine's hand to get him to get up and once he did, he wrapped his arm around Blaine's waist as they headed downstairs.
"He what?" Carole said as she watched Burt filling the kettle with water. She had just gotten in two minutes ago to see Burt kneeling down at the fire to light it, before he went into the kitchen when he saw Carole come in the door.
"He was just sitting there in like…a daze. Kurt's with him, but I told him to bring Blaine downstairs beside the fire to warm him up." Burt put the kettle back down on the counter and flipped the switch for it to start boiling. "I don't know what it is, but it's like yesterday really got to him and…"
"Like he's thinking back to those memories? Maybe he never really dealt with it. Like, I have met a lot of people who just blank something horrible from their past out, out of their mind and one day something can bring it back." Burt nodded his head slowly and leaned his back against the counter, taking of his hat and rubbing his head.
"The poor kid, I don't think he hardly even told Kurt how bad things used to be with his dad."
"Nick seems…nice, though."
"I know. Anyone can act nice, but Nick general just seems nice. Anytime I see him and Blaine together they seem okay. It probably just took him a while to accept Blaine being, gay. But it must have been a really bad time when Nick was trying to accept this."
"All Kurt ever told me was that, it took a little while for Nick to accept Blaine being gay, but Nick had never turned his back on Blaine."
"There's more to it Carole, but I just hope things turn out okay, they have both been through enough in their lives." Carole nodded in agreement, giving a kiss to Burt's cheek, before going into the sitting room to check on the fire.
When Blaine and Kurt had gotten down the stairs, they had taking a sit on the couch, Carole was their checking the fire and gave them a little smile when they came in.
Kurt had left Blaine for a second to go into Burt and Carole asking them to sit with them in the sitting room, Kurt needed it and Blaine needed it.
When Kurt had gone back in the sitting room, Carole had come in with him to and took the chair beside the couch. Kurt picked up the blanket that was lying on the back of the couch and put it over Blaine, to warm him up more. When Kurt was sat down beside Blaine, Blaine pulled the Blanket over Kurt to; he hadn't said anything to Kurt since they had left Kurt's room. Blaine pulled his knees up to his chest again, and let his head rest on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and gave a kiss to Blaine's wet curls.
Burt came in with three cups of coffee in his hands. He put two down on the table beside Kurt and Blaine and handed the other one to Carole before taking a seat beside her.
Blaine let his mind wander to a memory, a memory he never wanted to remember again, just like so many others. He tried to block them out for so long, but it was getting harder to block them out of his mind.
"Katie, he's…I can't even say the word. We didn't raise our son to be that. That is not Blaine that is not my son." Nick snapped at Katie, who was sat on the couch with her arms wrapped around Blaine. He was crying, he couldn't stop crying. His father hated him.
"How can you say that? He's still Blaine; he's still our little boy. Just like Cooper. This changes nothing Nick. It changes nothing." she tried to hold back her angry, she didn't need Blaine anymore upset then he was.
"He chooses to be this way. The day he choose it, was the day he stopped being my son."
"You don't choose it, Nick. Nobody would choose for this. But Blaine is gay, and that's it, okay?"
"No, no it's not okay. It will never be okay. He's disgusting. And I never, never want to see you again Blaine. Never. Not as long as you choose to be like this." Blaine suddenly shot out of his mum's arms and ran out the sitting room, his mum calling after him. He ran to the front door, opening it as fast as he could. He needed to escape this nightmare, he just needed to run. When he got outside, Coop was getting out of his car and once he looked towards Blaine, he quickly ran over to stand in front of Blaine, stopping him from running.
"Blaine, clam down, come on, clam down." Blaine tried to fight against Cooper's hold but just collapsed into his arms, when he stopped fighting against Cooper. Blaine didn't know how long it was he was standing there in his brother's arms but it felt so short, when he heard footsteps behind them and Cooper telling him to wait in his car. Blaine did as he was told and didn't look to see who it was behind him, but he knew by the voice. He opened Cooper's car door and shut it quickly, turning his back to the window, not having to look out it. He could still hear Cooper and his dad though, shouting, screaming, shouting, screaming and it wouldn't stop, how could it ever stop?
His dad hated him, he hated him, he would never love him again and all he could think of was his father's words since two days ago, two day's since he told his dad he was gay.
You are no son of mine.
He chooses to be this way.
Get out of this house.
That is not Blaine that is not my son.
Blaine looked down at his right side, looking down to where Coop had some of his stuff, throwing into the hole beside the handbrake. He saw it there, something that could make this all go away. It was there, all he had to do was pick it up, and drag it across the skin, then it could all be over. No more fighting, no more of his father hating him, no more of the bullying, just no more sadness.
"It was right there. Right. There." Blaine whispered and everyone turned to look at him, he didn't even realise he had spoken out loud. A tear fell down his face as he thought about the memory.
"What was, honey?" Kurt asked confused, worried, and god knows what else.
Silence.
Blaine didn't answer. He just closed his eyes again.
Burt looked towards Blaine and that was it, he couldn't take it anymore. He was getting answers from the Anderson's, he was going to let them know what a mess Blaine in and he was going to make them feel as guilty as hell.
"I'm going over there." Burt didn't have to say where because Kurt knew right well. Before Kurt could get up to stop Burt from going out the front door, Carole stopped Kurt.
"I'll go. Just whatever happens stay here with him okay, sweetie, I will sort it, Blaine needs you right now." Kurt didn't answer and just nodded before Carole disappeared after Burt.
Burt already had the engine started when Carole got outside the door and into the car.
"Carole, don't stop me. I'm going over there."
"I know. So am I." Burt nodded with a smile before they pulled out of the driveway.
When they got to the Andersons house, they were both straight out of the car and up knocking at the door. Katie answered it and before she could say anything, Burt was speaking.
"I need answers and don't tell me it's none of my business because I have your boy over in my house a mess." At Burt's words she looked heartbroken and stepped aside to let Carole and Burt in.
Nick was shocked to see them, but he guessed the real reason they were here and he was right. He was ready to give them answers, no matter how hard, he would tell the truth. The truth of how he acted towards Blaine coming out to him.
They were all sat at the table in silence before Nick broke it to speak.
"I didn't treat Blaine well, after he came out to us. I treated him horrible and it's something I will regret every day. It wasn't until the beating he got at the Sadie Hawkins dance, that I saw he was still my little boy no matter what and that it took almost losing him to see I needed to accept him for him. Even though Blaine tried to cut himself and take an overdose, even then, I didn't seem to care, it was still only in those first few weeks that he told me that he tried doing those things, and I still couldn't see how badly he was hurting. I-I told him he was no son of mine, I didn't speak to him for months, I-I hated him when he told me he was gay and months went by after that, that I still hated him. Then nearly after a year, after he came out to us, he-he went to that dance. And that's when I saw him, saw him in that hospital bed, tubes all around him, a broken leg, broken ribs and I-I knew he wasn't doing this for attention."
"So what, cutting himself and a failed overdose to you was attention. It was him trying to escape everything, you idiot!" Burt could feel his angry building up and he felt like hitting Nick, felt like making him feel all the pain Blaine had to.
"I know and…and I can't believe I was…that I didn't just see…he was still my son…no matter who he loved. The day he brought Kurt home to meet us, everything that I had said to him, everything that I had done, it felt like none of it had happened because there Blaine was…with Kurt, happy and smiling. He didn't look broken…he looked strong."
""That day after you left, Kurt, dad, he turned to me and said he's a great boy. He seems to make you happy, and that's all that matters. After, after months of sadness, after all the shit, those, those were…all the words I needed to hear from him to know…to know loving you…to know who I was, was okay. That maybe it could be all okay now, because Kurt, that's all I wanted, for…for everything to be okay. And I thought it was…until yesterday." Blaine's voice got sad and he watched the fire dance, as he felt Kurt fingers through his hair.
"It is going to be okay, sweetheart, I promise." Kurt said through tears he was holding back, he was going to be strong. There had to many tears these past days; he was going to be strong.
"What if it's not? What if all of that happens again?"
"Is that what happened this morning? Were you thinking of all those memories?"
"Yeah. When you left and I turned on the water, all those memories just came rushing back and…and I can't remember after that." Blaine tried to remember, but he couldn't all the old memories were blocking out new ones.
"Those old memories Blaine, there not coming back, you don't have to relive them again, because your dad accepts you now. He's just being a parent thinking were too young to get married. That's all, that's all it is. I promise."
"And I know he's happy now, but getting married, their to young, they have their whole future ahead of them." Nick was trying to get them to understand that they were just too young.
"So this has nothing to do with them being gay? You accept Blaine now? And it's just because you think there too young to get married?" Carole asked gently and Nick nodded.
"You said they have their whole future ahead of them. You didn't say they have their futures ahead of then, because you know as well as I do, they don't see their futures without the other one in it, whether, their married, not together, miles apart, their still always going to be in each other's life's, no matter what. And I don't know about the rest of you, but their eighteen, it's their lives, they know what they want. And we can all sit here and say there to young, but really it's not the age were worried about, it's their futures with each other that were afraid something bad will happen and we could of stopped it, but we can't stop anything bad from happening and we can't stop them from getting married. Kurt told me this morning if it's a mistake, then it's his mistake to make, but that it will never be a mistake. Not marrying him, that's a mistake. That's what Kurt told me this morning and I believe him. So whether we want this or not it's their choice and me, I'm behind them hundred per cent. I know my son and I have never seen him want anything more." Burt gave a little smile as he looked to the other three sitting at the table, all lost in their thought's now, expect for Carole, who let her hand move across the table and take Burt's hand in hers.
"You are a great father, Burt Hummel."
Blaine and Kurt looked down to their joined hands between their chests, as they lay face to face on the couch. Fingers entwined, Legs entwined, and their heart's beating fast.
They were in a peaceful silence, the one where they just took everything in about each other, with kisses, with smiles, and with love.
Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine's and took his gaze away from their hands to meet Blaine gazing back into his eyes, as a smile spread against Blaine's face.
"Nobody woke me up from this dream yet." Blaine whispered not letting his eyes move away from Blaine's. Kurt nuzzled his nose against Blaine's.
"And what might that dream be?"
"Finding you. Having this life with you, that no matter what happens, your there, you're always going to be there, Kurt."
"Of course I am. I'm never leaving the best thing to ever happen to me."
"Oh, come on. You sure skinny jeans aren't the best thing to…"
"Second best thing." Kurt giggled as did Blaine. "Wait no, third best thing."
"What's second?" Blaine asked curious.
"You asking me to marry you. And when we do, that will be the second best thing because it can't be first."
"And why's that?" Blaine smiled and moved one of his hands up to Kurt's waist and rubbed it up and down his side.
"Because if meeting you hadn't of happened, none of this amazing stuff would of happen so…that's why it's number one."
"Do you think if we still hadn't of meet and we didn't meet till later on in our lives that we would still be together?" Blaine asked. He knew the answer he just need Kurt to say it.
"Yes." Was all Kurt said before he was leaning into the little distance that was left between their lips. The smile on their lips, the love that they have, the courage that they have, having each other, and having a future together was all they wanted, was all that either of them needed in this life.
Together.