Sept. 4, 2013, 5:20 a.m.
Our Distance: I'd fall apart without you
T - Words: 3,128 - Last Updated: Sep 04, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 19/19 - Created: Aug 07, 2012 - Updated: Sep 04, 2013 366 0 0 0 0
Burt looked towards Kurt and Blaine sat on the couch across from where he and Nick were standing. Katie sat on the chair beside them and Carole sat on the armchair beside Katie. Cooper had come over with his mum dad and brother and even though him an Finn were old enough to do what they want they were sent up to Finn's room and to not come down until they were finished talking with Kurt and Blaine. Cooper and Finn had moaned but went up anyways to play the X box.
Kurt held on to Blaine's hand tightly in his as they looked to their dad's, they knew they might not take the news well, but they didn't know how bad.
"Are you both out of your minds? Eighteen. You are both only that age." Nick said his voice calmer than Burt's, but he was still mad.
Silence.
"We love each other." Everyone turned to look at Blaine who whispered the words, while looking down at his and Kurt's joined hands. He closed his eyes, wishing when he opened them that everything would be okay, that nobody would judge them for this and just be happy for them. But as much as he wished, he knew it wouldn't happen just like that.
"Sweetheart, we know you both do, we do, but this is kind of crazy. Your still in high school, Kurt's in New York it's just…" Katie didn't know what else to say and looked to her husband for help.
"It's just what?" Blaine snapped and looked towards his mother, who looked taking back from him snapping at her.
"Blaine do not talk to your mother that way. She's only looking out for you both, but this idea of you both getting married it's too soon."
"It's always going to be too soon for you though, isn't it?" Blaine took his eyes of his mum and looked towards his father who was confused by his words. "Never come back here, Blaine, never. Do you remember those words dad; the day I told you I was gay."
"Blaine, you know I regretted saying that. I love you, no matter what." Guilt was in Nick's voice. He would never forget that day he told his son to never come back in their house.
"I wanted you to listen to me, to understand, but you didn't. Mum tried to talk to you while I stood outside your office door, listening, listening to the most horrible words you have ever said about me." Blaine got up from the couch, Kurt tried to hold on to his hand but Blaine was too strong for him. Blaine stood in front of his father, looking him straight in the eyes as he tried to hold back tears. "He's not my son, anymore. You remember that dad? My own dad stopped loving me because I liked boys, not girls. Because I couldn't be the perfect son you wanted anymore because of one thing. It took you for me to have a failed overdose, after a failed cut on the wrists, to take that one step to try and accept me for who I am now. Do you still n-not accept me after a-all these years?" Blaine was still trying to hold it together, stood in front of his father, still looking his father straight in his eyes.
The room was silence.
Silence.
Silence.
"You…you tried to k-kill yourself." The words came from Kurt this time. Blaine had never told him. Kurt was in shock. He felt like the world was spinning and wouldn't stop, he felt like this was a horrible dream. Kurt slowly shook his head his gaze moving from the ground and up to meet Blaine's, who started back at him. Kurt slowly pushed himself up from the couch, holding onto the side, so he wouldn't end up falling back down.
"Kurt, I…"
"You liar." The first two words were a whisper until he raised his voice, scaring himself. "You fucking liar! I asked you, and…and you lied! We promised we-we would n-never lie to each other." Kurt's voice broke into a cry before he ran as fast as he could out the front door.
"Kurt!" Blaine was running straight after him, leaving everyone behind in shook.
Burt and Carole couldn't believe for a second Blaine tried to do it. They never knew how bad things were with Nick. They never knew how broken Blaine used to be, was he still broken?
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Kurt, stop running!" Blaine shouted behind Kurt, running as fast as he could to catch up with Kurt. It was freeing, snow everywhere, places slippery as they ran.
Blaine got to Kurt and stood in front of him, holding his hands on Kurt's arms to stop him from moving. Kurt struggled against him, trying to get out of Blaine's grip and to just keep running, to run anywhere he could.
Before he knew it his hand had flowing through the air and hit something, hard, and now his hand was red and stinging. Blaine had let go of Kurt and now had his face sideways, not meeting Kurt's eyes.
That's what Kurt hit. He saw it. He saw the big red mark on Blaine's cheek, the big horrible red mark. New fresh tears fell from Kurt's eyes as he lifted his hands up to cover his mouth, his face shocked from what he did.
"I…oh god, I-am so s-sorry…I-I I n-never meant…"
"I deserved it." Blaine moved his head to look back at Kurt, ignoring the pain in his cheek, looking to the pain in Kurt's eyes.
"No,n-n-n-n-no you didn't. Y-you n-never deserved that, am s-so…"
"Hey, ssh, ssh, it's okay, it's all okay." Blaine pulled Kurt into him, wrapping his arms around Kurt's shoulders. Kurt didn't struggle against him this time, he just cried into Blaine's chest, mumbling words that only Blaine was able to hear.
"Im a horrible person, I- god Blaine I…" Kurt moved a little to look up at Blaine who was looking down at him, with no angry over his face, just sorry for not telling Kurt sooner.
"You're not, you're far from it." Blaine tried to hold back the tears, he really did, but he couldn't anymore, not when the love of his life was breaking down in front of him. "I love you. No-no matter what, I-I love you." Blaine leaned down to give Kurt a quick kiss to his lips, a kiss could tell it all, more than words ever could between them, it could make things better, more than words ever will.
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Cooper walked up the stairs and to outside of Kurt's bedroom door. He heard no sound, maybe they were asleep, maybe he should leave them, but he needed to make sure they were okay.
Coop and Finn had come down after there they heard shouting and a slam of the door. Coop wasn't one bit impressed with his father. In all honesty he never was. He felt no matter how much he tried to make his dad proud, he never would be. He didn't want Blaine to have to go through that again.
He gave a little knock to the door before pushing it open slowly. Blaine and Kurt lay on the bed. Blaine was asleep, his head resting on Kurt's chest and one of his arms dropped over Kurt's stomach and the other by his side. Kurt had one of his hands rubbing up and down Blaine's back, the other behind his head. A blanket lay over their waists. Kurt looked up when he heard the knock on the door and Cooper appeared. He gave Coop a little smile that Coop returned before looking back down at Blaine. His chest rose and fell slowly, his breathing even, his eyes red from crying so much.
"He never told me Coop. He never told me how hard things were for him with his dad. Why didn't he?" Kurt let his hand slide up Blaine's back and go through Blaine's soft curls.
Cooper moved over to Kurt's desk, pulling out the chair and taking a sit. He looked over to Kurt who was looking at him for answers.
"Because…he's an Anderson boy, we like to kept things to ourselves and not want people to worry about us. He em…he never really speaks about it. He can't, Kurt. If he thinks about it, it brings back to many bad memories and he doesn't want to remember them. He's afraid he will hate dad if he thinks about everything that happened and by the sounds of things from what happened today, those memories are back."
"I didn't know if you knew or not but…don't be mad at him for not telling you, he just didn't want to tell you something that to him…wasn't important anymore because it was in the past."
"You know he…he saved me Coop." Kurt let out a deep breath his eyes closed. "I wouldn't be here, if I had never of meant him." Coop tried to hold back the shook on his face but he wasn't able to. He knew Blaine had helped Kurt a lot, but he didn't know this. "He was the one who put a smile back on my face, made me happy, made me have courage, and made me find my way back to me." Kurt leaned over and gave a kiss to the top of Blaine's head; he lingered there for a few seconds, making himself hold back the tears.
Cooper looked over at them, that was always the kind of love he hoped to find one day. He still had to find it but they, they already had it. Why couldn't his parents and Kurt's just understand it? Or maybe they did. He didn't know what they thought.
"How about you tell me what happened after Blaine asked you to marry him last night. You both never got to tell about this big moment yet." Kurt looked up surprised.
"Did our parents tell…?"
"No. Blaine told me this morning. We were in the house on our own and he literally skipped down the stairs, into the kitchen and was singing to himself. I didn't say anything but his phone was on the kitchen table and I always look at his texts and then I saw your text to him that said Morning beautiful fianc�. And then he told me the rest." Coop grinned and let a laugh escape him lips as he saw Kurt glaring at him.
"So really you found out for yourself. And stop reading his messages, that's uncool, Coop." Kurt couldn't help but laugh to.
"So come on, tell me what happened after he asked."
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"Oh very funny, Blaine. Now get down before I push you." Kurt giggled as he went to move but Blaine held him in the same spot, his face serious.
He didn't laugh.
He didn't say only joking.
He didn't say got you.
He didn't break out into a cheesy grin.
"I'm serious Kurt. I have never been more serious in my life." Blaine's eyes searched Kurt's face for an answer but he couldn't find one.
Kurt didn't believe it. "Why? Why me Blaine?"
"Because you're Kurt Hummel." Was the only answer Kurt got?
Silence.
Breathing.
Gazing.
"Exactly I'm Kurt Hummel. The bitchy, sarcastic, annoying…"
"Shut up Kurt. Just shut up and let me do this again." This time Blaine got down on one knee, held both of Kurt's hands in his and looked up to Kurt's face, meeting his not believing eyes.
"You are never going to see yourself as the Kurt Hummel I see. And you want to know the way I see him? I see him as the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. The sweetest, most caring person. The most talented person I have ever met. The amazingly dressed Kurt that just always teases me with them damn skinny jeans like, all the time." They both let out a little laugh as Kurt shook his head slowly. "And you are mine. This is never the way I saw my future being. We watch these films that have fairy tale endings and we wish for that but I don't anymore. I don't want a fairy tale, I don't want an ending, and I just want us. It's all I'm ever going to want, it's all I'm ever going to need. If you could just see yourself through my eyes Kurt, if only. You are it for me so, for the second time in 2013, Will. You. Marry. Me? I'll love you for a thousand years."
Kurt burst out laughing, the sound sounding weird through his tears.
"You just used Christina Perri lyrics, you cheesy fecker." Kurt laughed even more, the sound mixing with Blaine's laugh.
"Hey, hey, that song made me cry at the end of Breaking dawn, it was emotional." Blaine joked as Kurt kneeled down to in front of Blaine, still holding onto his hands.
"And then you turned to me at the end of the film and said…"
"You know I will love you for a thousand years. I got no smart answer because…"
"I was crying to and you made me even worse with those words and said except were not vampires we wouldn't live forever."
"But that we will live forever in each other's hearts no matter what happens or where we go." Kurt pulled his hand out of Blaine and up to rest on both sides of Blaine's face.
"So, in your heart Blaine, you know what my answer is."
"I do. But can I hear it?" Blaine grinned and Kurt nodded his head slowly. Kurt put his head in between Blaine's neck.
"Yes, I will marry you." Kurt said shyly and the words were mumbled.
"I'm sorry you what? Didn't really hear that." Blaine chuckled as Kurt lifted up his head and rested his forehead against Blaine and met his eyes.
"I. Want. To. Spend. The. Rest. Of. My. Life. With. You. Yes, I will marry you Blaine Anderson, I will marry you!"
"Didn't quit hear…" Blaine was cut off By Kurt's lips on his. Blaine brought both his hands behind Kurt's head and pulled them more in to the kiss. The first kiss of them being fianc�'s, the first kiss of 2013.
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"Woooo….my brother really is a cheesy dork." Coop chuckled as did Kurt.
"Yeah, but he's my cheesy dork."
"For a thousand years." Blaine mumbled into Kurt's chest. He had a smile on his face; his eyes still closed, and let out a yawn that Kurt thought in his head was adorable.
"Look, who's awake!" Coop announced, chuckling.
"I'm still asleep." Blaine mumbled and searched for the blanket and pulled it up over his head.
"Awe get up lazy ass."
"Why? I don't want to see anyone, except, Kurt."
"Okay, I'll be downstairs if you both need anything." Coop gave a smile to them better leaving the room and shutting the door behind them.
"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Blaine pulled the blanket down and sat himself up a little to lean against the headboard beside Kurt. He grabbed the blanket and put it back over them both, to keep them warm.
"I don't know where I want to be." Kurt nodded his head slowly understanding.
"Come on, let's get into bed and just stay there forever away from everyone else."
"Sound's good." Blaine gave a little smile. Kurt got up for a second and locked the door, he didn't care if his dad gave out to him or not, sent Finn a quick message to tell everyone to leave them alone for a while, switched of the light's, pulled over the curtains, only a little bit of light from outside now shining into his bedroom and got back into bed with Blaine. Their legs were tangled In each other's, only a little space between them, Blaine's arm over Kurt's waist, the other holding onto Kurt's hand and Kurt other hand pulled the duvet over them, blocking out the rest of the world, just the two of them under here. Kurt let his hand slid under Blaine's shirt and rubbed his back slowly.
"I used to do this when I was a kid. When mum got sick, and I could hear mum and dad fighting, I hide under my duvet, let myself think of a world where everything was okay, nobody was hurting and I never wanted to leave under here."
"I did it to." Blaine whispered. Kurt waited for him to say more but he didn't.
"Why?"
"From the fighting. From school. From life. I thought of a world like yours, were everything was okay. I started when I was Six and I haven't done it since I was…sixteen."
"Sixteen? Why did you stop then?" It might have been pretty dark under the duvet, but they could still see each other. Blaine smiled and moved him hand from Kurt's waist and pointed at Kurt, pointed to his head and mouthed you.
"I might still dream of a world were everything else is okay but I stopped dreaming of a world when I found a boy, my boy. I didn't have to dream about that anymore because my dream came true, my dream is you." Kurt gave him a watery smile and brought his hand from Blaine's back to Blaine's cheek. He ran his fingers over Blaine's cheek, over the smooth skin, over the most beautiful boy.
"This is what it feels like to get your soul mate, isn't it." Kurt asked, still not believing he ever got Blaine, had him in his life, will always have him in his life.
"Well, it's what it feels like for us, anyways."
"I'm not mad you never told me, you know. I'm just upset you went through that. Not feeling like anyone cared, not feeling like you were wanted."
"Kurt, we both went through a lot of stuff and I know I should have told you, but I promise I won't keep anything from you again. And whatever happens, I am always going to want to marry you, no matter what they say I'm marrying you, with or without their blessing. They've never felt our love before, so how can they understand. How can anyone understand anyone else's love?" Kurt nodded in agreement before moving in closer to Blaine. Kurt smiled at Blaine, gazing into his eyes and started to sing a sweet, soft song to Blaine and Blaine let his eyes shut from the beautiful sound of Kurt's voice.
You know I'd fall apart without you
I don't know how you do what you do
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
Makes sense when I'm with you
Like everything that's green, boy I need you
But it's more than one and one makes two
Put aside the math and the logic of it
You gotta know you're wanted too
'Cause I wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
Never let you forget it
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted