Sept. 16, 2012, 4:46 a.m.
Along the way: I won't say goodbye
T - Words: 2,531 - Last Updated: Sep 16, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 16/16 - Created: Aug 27, 2012 - Updated: Sep 16, 2012 466 0 2 0 0
The morning Burt's family and friends say, goodbye.
Its nine in the morning and the funeral is at eleven. Most people are in the kitchen. Cooper and Sarah are in the living room with Jack, Lily and Summer. Rachel, Carole, and Finn are sitting at the table. Blaine is at the kitchen counter pouring milk in to a cup of coffee.
"You heard him last night, he doesn't want to go. He has to." Finn said as he looked to him mum who was trying to keep things together and to not break down at any second.
"He will go Finn. He's going. I'll go talk to him." Blaine said as he picked up the cup and headed up the stairs to Kurt's old bedroom. He pushed open the door slowly to see that Kurt still hadn't got up from bed. Blaine walked over to the right hand side of the bed where Kurt is. Blaine put the coffee on the bedside table and bent down on his knees beside the bed, on front of Kurt. The duvet was half covering Kurt's face and Blaine pulled it down. Kurt's eyes were closed but Blaine knew he was awake.
"Kurt, you have to get up and get ready."
"I am not going, I can't." Kurt whispered back as he opened his eyes to see Blaine in front of him.
"I know this is so hard on you but, you will regret not going. You can tell us you don't want to but I know you and I know you want to go." Kurt turned away from him, moving his head away from Blaine. Blaine let out a small sign as he stood up walking over to the wardrobe and pulled out a suit. He hung it on the nob on the wardrobe. Kurt sat up in the bed as Blaine did it.
"Stop it, Blaine." Kurt whispered towards Blaine who stood beside the wardrobe looking over to Kurt. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Blaine took his own suit that lay over the back of a chair. He picked it up about to head out the door, stopping when Kurt spoke lowly.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting ready to go to my father in law's funeral, to go and say goodbye with our family and friends. I would really like if my husband came with me and our children." Blaine said as his voice started to crack and he headed out of the room to the bathroom. Kurt looked to the door were Blaine had just walked through. He felt like he couldn't do this, he felt like once he was at the church that, it would make it final that, his dad was gone. How could he ever say goodbye?
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Blaine looked in the bathroom mirror, ready to go. Everyone else is dressed for the funeral, expect one person. Blaine looked at himself in the mirror telling himself to stay strong and to not break down, he had to do it, for his family. Blaine came out of the bathroom dressed in his suit and walked back to the bedroom. The first place he looked towards was the bed but, to his surprise Kurt wasn't there. Blaine let his eyes look around the room to see Kurt on his left hand side at the mirror. He was dressed for the funeral. His jacket lay on the bed and he had his tie untied as he tried to tie it. He looked over at Blaine meeting his gaze.
"You need help with that?" Blaine asked softly and Kurt nodded his head in reply. Blaine took the few steps to Kurt and was now standing face to face to each other. Blaine began to do Kurt's tie. After a few seconds Blaine had the tie done. He was about to turn away to get Kurt's jacket when he spoke.
"I am scared to say goodbye. I know once I get to the funeral that will make it real, that will make it true." Kurt's face had no expression, it was just, blank. He shook his head lightly as he met Blaine's worried and upset eyes. "I don't want to say goodbye."
"Then don't," Blaine gave him a watery smile as he tried to hold the tears back. "It isn't goodbye if you don't want it to be. This is an, I will see you soon, but until then, wait for me. You will see him again Kurt, just like your mum." Kurt said nothing back and just took Blaine's hand in his.
"I'll be right beside you." Blaine said softly. Kurt picked up his jacket from the bed and walked out of the bedroom holding Blaine's hand as tight as he could but not that it would hurt. He held on tight with whatever strength he had left in him to face, today.
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Everyone is sitting down, waiting for the service to begin. The church is full and a lot of people Kurt doesn't know are here. He sees Will and Emma sitting in the middle of the church with their Son and daughter and Sue and her daughter. He sees a lot more people he knows including most of the New Directions. He and his family are sat up at the front of the church. The minister comes out of a backdoor into the church. He stops in front of everyone at the front of the church beside the coffin. Kurt can't stop looking at the coffin. His dad is in there and he wishes so much that he wasn't. Flowers sit on top of the coffin, all different colours and different types.
"Today, we are joined here to say farewell, to Burt Hummel. For those who knew Burt well, they know how much of a caring person he was. He was a father, a husband, grandfather and friend. Every time I would see Burt he would always be up for a chat. He would always tell me how his family was and I would be glad to listen. The first time I met Burt was when I needed my car repairing. Burt was sitting behind his desk with Kurt on his knees. Kurt was showing Burt drawings he had done. When Burt and I were talking Kurt just looked at me and turned back to his dad and said Daddy, that man dresses worse that you. He chuckled as did others in the church. Kurt smiled at that and remembered it was just a few weeks after his mum had died and Burt brought him to work for weeks after that.
Readings were read, the choir sang, Carole and Finn had gotten up to talk about Burt. Finn got through his and he stayed up with his mum while she talked about Burt, so she knew he was there if she couldn't do it. The service was coming to an end and all that was left was for Kurt to say a few words about his dad and then one last song.
Kurt got up and walked to the front of the church and stood beside the coffin putting his hand gently on it and gazed at it for a few seconds before turning his head to everyone. He looked towards Carole, Finn and Rachel who had tears falling down their faces. He then looked to Cooper and Sarah who sat with the kids. Sitting in front of the kids was Blaine looking up towards him and gave him a sad smile as he tried to hold back his tears.
"When my mum passed away it was only me and my dad. For years it was just us two, our little family. I thought we could never be happy again but…we were…because of you, dad. You never let us get to a place where we would get so lost that, we would never find our way back to happiness. We got there. You found Carole and I found Blaine. I remember I had just gone back to McKinley after being in Dalton. I was sat in my room, it was a Friday and you and Carole were making dinner. You came into my room and stood at the door looking at me lying on my bed sulking and you knew what was wrong. You asked was I not getting for dinner like I usually did. I said I didn't feel like getting dressed up for it. You simply nodded and said well, I am sure Blaine won't mind you dressed like that when he gets here for dinner, but you will. You just smiled and headed out the door before I could say anything. You knew I was missing him and you knew what to do, just like you always did. That night at dinner I looked around the table and for the first time since mum died, I was really happy. At that moment I had no troubles at school, I had a boyfriend and our little family just became bigger. You were the main reason for me being happy, dad. You fought every day for me so I could be who I was and to love who I wanted. I couldn't have asked for a better dad." Kurt took in a shaking breath before he continued and looked back down to his hand on the coffin. "I can't say goodbye dad, I-I just can't. I don't want you leave," Kurt choked out as tears fell quickly down his face. "I want you and mum back, I need you both back. You had so much more time in-in this world and I–I can't do I-I need…" Kurt stopped as he cried. Blaine got up from his seat and up to Kurt.
"I need him, Blaine. I need him." Kurt said through tears as Blaine pulled him into his arms. All the tears Kurt hadn't cried was all falling now. Blaine brought him back to their seat and Kurt cried into his chest as Blaine held him close. Tears fell down Blaine's face as he turned to look at his kids sitting behind him with Sarah and Cooper. Lily and Jack sat in between them. Tears fell down their broken faces as they looked to their two dads'. Jack held Lily's hand in his, being there for his little sister. The last song started and the choir began to sing for Burt's farewell.
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Kurt had left the house half an hour ago and walked to the grave. People had come over to the house after the funeral and Kurt just didn't want to be there with people saying I'm sorry. He knew they were just being kind but really, what were they saying sorry for? They didn't hurt his dad or do any wrong.
Cooper was with Blaine when Blaine noticed Kurt was gone. They knew where and Blaine was about to go when Coop stopped him.
"I will go, Blaine. I know how much you want to be there for him but, your kids need you and if you go I know you will just end up getting upset to." Blaine nodded his head, giving Coop a grateful smile and headed up to the spare room where the kids were. Cooper headed out the door to walk to the graveyard; he stopped at a little shop on his way.
Blaine was sitting down on the grass outside the house while Lily, Jack, Summer and the rest of the kids played football. Lily had started walking over to her dad looking sad. Blaine held his arms out for Lily to come over to him. She sat on Blaine's crossed legs and let out a small sigh.
"You tired of playing?" Blaine asked as Lily picked at the grass pulling it up.
"Yeah, football's for boys. I would rather sing. I want to join a Glee club like you and daddy did, when I go to high school."
"Well then, we will make sure to be in the front row to be embarrassing parents." Lily giggled as she continued to pull up the grass.
"You and daddy could never be embarrassing." She said like that could never be true. Wait till you're a teenager and you won't think that Blaine thought. "Dad, is daddy going to be sad for long?" Lily said as she looked up to her dad. Blaine was trying to find the right words to say.
"For a while yes. You see Lily, granddad is gone to heaven and that's a different world from here. It means daddy and us won't get to see granddad for a long time. One day we will see him again but, for now, we live on a different world."
"Is granddad happy up there?" she asked trying to take it in.
"Yeah, he is. And he is looking down on us smiling." Blaine gave her a smile she returned.
"Maybe in that world granddad can ask for a wish. And that wish could be to ask if he could make daddy smile again and not cry. I don't like it when he cries or you. I miss granddad." Lily said her voice getting sadder.
"I do too, sweetheart."
"And I miss daddy. I want happy daddy back." Lily leaned her head against Blaine's chest and he kissed the top of her head.
"I miss him, too."
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Cooper walked through all the graves until he saw Burt's. So many flowers were on it. All the different colours blended together. He saw Kurt sitting at the end of the grave and he looked like in was in a trance. He just started at the headstone, reading the same words over and over again on it, still not believing it. Cooper walked towards him and sat down beside him. Kurt turned his head for a second to see who it was with a blank expression on his face. He turned back to the headstone.
"Am fine on my own, I just needed to get out of there." Kurt whispered and Cooper nodded.
"I know. It was either Blaine or me and I thought Blaine should stay with the kids. They miss you, Kurt. Their wondering why they hardly have seen daddy in the past couple of days. They understand that Burt is gone and that's why your sad but, their still so young and don't fully understand it all."
"I am still here. Blaine's there for them."
"They want both of their daddies Kurt. I know how tough this is and you feel like it can't get better without your dad but, it will. It is going to take time but, it will. And you have all of us to help you through it. And I know Blaine is going to be strong for the both of you until you start to feel better." Cooper said knowing every word was true. They sat in silent for a few minutes until Cooper got up from the grave and pulled out a little red candle from his jacket pocket, with the words always in our hearts engraved on it. He put it on the bottom of the headstone and turned back to Kurt gently resting his hand on Kurt's shoulder before walking away to leave Kurt in peace. Cooper didn't leave. He waited down at the gates for Kurt whenever he was ready to leave, whenever that may be.
Comments
this was so incredibly sad; the tears were pooling in my eyes and then falling down my cheeks like niagra falls. i don't want to say goodbye to burt either. but i have to admit to having a shamefully dirty, sexual, and inappropriate thought during the funeral. the pastor said, "...The first time I met Burt was when I needed my car repairing. Burt was sitting behind his desk with Kurt on his knees." that last part about kurt on his knees, that just totally shocked me, because i was thinking about, hmmm, a sexual act. and this was during burt's funeral! how disrespectful is that??? anyway, i reread the context a few times to realize that it was a memory and that kurt was sitting on burt's knees. i am so ashamed of what i was thinking :( *goes to clean out brain with a toothbrush and soap* looking forward to the next chapter. t-minus two weeks and counting!
Awwwh :(Oh god I am laughing at that now ha ha it's like one in the morning here and am trying not to laugh to loud. I should of said " with Kurt sitting on his lap." that would have made more sense to write. Awh your review was to funny ha ha Thank you :) It's really not to long away now Glee. THANK GOD ha ha :) We NEED klaine :D