That changed when he woke up today. Yeah, he had days before his dad died that he would wake up and know it wasn't going to be a great day. He didn't know sometimes why he woke up feeling like that sometimes. He knew why he had woken up this morning feeling like crap, his dad. Why couldn't it just start getting better a bit everyday instead of having one day were feeling like it might be okay and the next day is just totally the opposite. He wished he didn't have to live through those days, could he not just skip them and get to the happy part.

It was morning and yet again Kurt was stood at the back door looking towards the pool. He had been their over an hour, but nothing. Burt didn't appear and Kurt needed him to. He needed Burt to tell him these crappy days were worth it to have the good days. The longer Kurt just stood there, he became angry, not upset that his dad didn't appear. You appeared other times, why can't you just do it when I need to. Why can't you let me forget for a second you're gone? Let me feel something else other that emptiness and sadness.

Blaine came behind Kurt wrapping his arms around his waist and letting his head rest on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt didn't move his folded arms for his chest and just continued to look towards the pool.

"Maybe we should do something today. We could have Rachel, Finn and Summer over tonight. Jack and Lily will be back tonight and am sure they would love to see them." Kurt didn't say anything back. Honestly, he didn't really hear what Blaine said.

"Kurt? Are you okay?" Blaine said as he dropped his arms of Kurt's waist and stood in front of him.

"Yeah am great Blaine, couldn't be happier." Kurt snapped. "Do whatever you want, pretend everything's okay." Kurt turned around and went back into the house.

"Kurt, I didn't…" Blaine stopped talking when Kurt disappeared into the house. To say Blaine was confused would be a lie. He expected Kurt to be like this sometimes but after yesterday he thought maybe it was the start of Kurt being on the road to becoming okay again. It was okay though, he could wait forever for Kurt to get better but having the kids seeing Kurt not being Kurt, well, how would that affect them?

Later in the day Kurt had gone down two more times to the pool, but nothing, Burt didn't appear. Kurt just wanted to forget, to forget how sad life can be and how the world won't stop taking the people you love. Really, what was the point when this would just keep happing?

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Kurt lay on the couch looking towards the TV watching old re runs of one tree hill.

He heard Blaine's footsteps come into the room. Kurt shut his eyes and pretended to be asleep, this way he wouldn't have to talk to Blaine.

"Kurt, I am just going out to do the shopping, I won't be long." Blaine said as he put his coat on. There was no answer from Kurt and Blaine walked over to the couch thinking Kurt was asleep. Blaine bent down on his knees and put his hand gently through Kurt's soft hair. Blaine looked to Kurt's closed eyes and leaned in to kiss the top of his forehead.

"I love you." Blaine whispered as he pulled his lips away from Kurt's forehead and went to head out the door.

When Kurt heard Blaine pull out of their driveway he got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen. He opened a few cupboards before finding what he wanted. Kurt pulled out a bottle of vodka from the cupboard and put it on the counter and went to get a glass. He poured the glass half full, leaving the bottle open on the counter and back to sit on the couch. Blaine and Kurt hardly ever drunk and really had no alcohol in the house expect for that bottle of vodka Cooper had giving to them and a few other bottles of drink.

After half an hour of watching TV, Kurt got up from the couch.

"The only people who get happy endings are in films and show." He laughed with no humour and back out to the pool for the fourth time today. He had forgotten the kids would be back later tonight. He opened the door and left it open, standing a few feet away from the pool. Kurt was already on his fourth glass of vodka, drinking it like it was water.

"Are you not going to appear again dad? Hey, you not going to! You can't just appear when you want to! Oh, wait, you can! You're a ghost because you're dead!" Kurt shouted to no one just the cold air. He nearly fell as he took a step forward but steadied himself. He took another mouthful of drink.

"You know you could talk more when you appear, it would be nice seeing as I don't get to see you too often anymore! What is it going to take for you to be standing there?" Kurt pointed to the place that Burt always appeared. "Hey, what will it take? Thanks for the letter by the way. Did you think it would make everything okay? Because guess what? It didn't." Kurt took another drink and now his glass was empty and he threw it into the pool. He started to laugh to himself again with no humour.

"Seeing as you're in heaven now or whatever, could you ask the big man, who everyone loves because he is supposed to be the best person ever that we have never seen, ask him why-why there is so much sadness in the world? And why did he take away you and mom, ask him that!" Kurt looked up to the sky that was now a faded grey colour with stars starting to appear. "Ask him why I feel nothing, nothing, only emptiness!"

Kurt looked back down to the water that moved slowly. He took a few steps forward slowly and stopped at the edge of the pool. Kurt gazed down to the bottom of the pool. It was so clear it looked like there was only water at the top of the pool. Maybe he could breathe under water; maybe he could feel alive under there and escape from the world. Kurt put his left foot forward and leaned in, until his whole body fell from the ground and splashed into the water, sending water over the edge. The clam water was now suddenly moving around the pool. Kurt's whole body was under water, at the bottom of the pool. He opened his eyes under water and he felt free in a way. No one was around him and it felt like an escape. It was like the other sad; heart breaking world didn't exist anymore. Kurt smiled under water and feel like he could breathe under water until really, air wasn't going into his lungs, and water was. Kurt let the water fill his lungs; to him it was better than having to breathe in the cruel world. Kurt held himself down underwater and wasn't thinking of going back up to the surface.

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Blaine was going to pull into one of the little petrol pumps on the side of the road until he realised it was shut. It was a good thing there was enough left for tomorrow.

Blaine pulled up to the house, grabbing the shopping bag from the passenger's seat. He hoped out of the car when he saw Cooper and Sarah pull up. Lily and Jack got out of the car and ran over to Blaine.

"Dad!" they both shouted as Blaine pulled them into a great big hug.

"Hello, did you miss me?"

"Yeah, lots and lots." Lily said with a big grin on her face.

"I missed you both to." Blaine said glad that the kids were home. The kids ran towards the house to go and see Kurt. Cooper, Sarah and Blaine followed them in the door.

"How is he?" Sarah asked concerned as Cooper and Sarah looked to Blaine. Blaine let out a little sigh and shook his head.

"I thought yesterday, just maybe, it was the start of him getting better but, today; let's just say it wasn't a great day. Blaine said sadly as Cooper put his hand gently on Blaine's shoulder.

"He will get there, Blaine." Cooper said with sureness in his voice. The three of the entered into the house and walked into the kitchen. Jack and Lily were down the hall looking for Kurt. Blaine dropped the bag on the counter and his eyes met the bottle of vodka sitting on the table. Cooper and Sarah had seen it to.

"He never drinks." Blaine whispered not meaning to say it out loud.

"Dad, where is daddy?" Lily asked curious as she came into the kitchen. "Jack, thinks he is playing hide and seek but, I just told him that was silly."

"He was here when…"

"Daddy!" Blaine and the rest heard Jack cry out at the top of his lungs. Blaine didn't look to see the rest of everyone else's reaction and ran down the hallway. Jack was stood crying at the back door. When he got to where Jack stood he saw him. Kurt was floating on top of the water, not moving.

"Kurt!" Blaine screamed as he ran outside and divided into the pool. His body slammed into the water and Blaine pushed himself up from the water as fast as he could. He swam quickly over to Kurt and put his arms around Kurt and pulled him over to the edge.

"Kurt, wake up, please god, wake up!"

Cooper, Sarah and Lily had got to the door beside Jack. The kids were choking out sobs as Sarah pulled them close to her, crying herself. Cooper ran over to the pool as Blaine got him to the edge. Cooper pulled Kurt up onto the ground while Blaine got out of the pool quickly and helped Cooper. Blaine didn't know what he was feeling now; all he knew was Kurt could be dead. Once Kurt was out of the water, lifeless, Blaine put his mouth to Kurt's and breathed into it, over and over again. Blaine put his hands on Kurt's chest pushing down on it and then back to breathing in Kurt's mouth. He didn't notice tears falling down his own face. Cooper looked towards them, not believing it, watching his brother trying to bring Kurt back to life.

"Kurt don't do this, don't leave me. Come on!" Blaine sobbed as he pressed down on Kurt's chest. Seconds more went by and it looked hopeless. Was Kurt not gotten in time?

"Blaine, I don't think he-he..." Cooper couldn't say anymore. He put his hand over his mouth as sobs escapes him. Sarah pulled the kids even closer as they cried louder.

"Kurt, come on!" Blaine shouted as he looked down to the closed eyes that weren't opening. "You can't leave-leave us!" a few more second went by and Blaine kept at it, pressing down on his chest, giving him air, it wasn't working, why wasn't it working?

Blaine let his head fall onto Kurt's chest as his cries got louder. "Kurt, I-I n-need you!" Blaine cried into his chest. Cooper shook his head as he looked over to Sarah who held the kids, their faces buried into her neck.

As Blaine cried into his chest, he felt Kurt's chest move. The next second a choke came from Kurt. Blaine lifted up his head quickly and Kurt started to choke more before water was coming from his mouth.

"Kurt, Kurt, oh my god!" Blaine forced Kurt to sit up and Kurt choked up all the water from his lungs. Cooper and Sarah let out a cry of relief as they looked to Blaine pulling Kurt into a tight hug crying with relief.

Kurt laid his head against Blaine's shoulder, which was shaking as he held Kurt in his arms. It took Kurt a few seconds to realise what happened.

"Am sorry, I-I, Blaine!" Kurt felt the tears fall as he pulled back from Blaine to met his terrified but relieved eyes with tears pouring from them.

"I love you! I love you!" Blaine said not being able to form anymore words. The kids let go of Sarah and ran over to Blaine and Kurt. Kurt and Blaine pulled the kids between them as they hugged them while they still cried and held onto Kurt as tight as they could.

And Kurt realised then, it took nearly dying for him to see what he had in front of him and nearly lost. He was so lost in sadness and wanting to feel something, he nearly lost his family that he loved with all his heart. He just forgot how to feel love for a while.