Chapter Six: The Dream

“Kurt,” Blaine called out after him, pushing the outer door open. Kurt was leaning against a wall but moved to run off again when he saw Blaine. Quick as lightning Blaine grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. Crowding the obviously distraught boy against the wall Blaine cupped his face.

“It’s ok,” he said as Kurt tried to break free. “I love you too.” Kurt froze then, blue eyes slowly lifting to meet hazel.

“Oh,” was all he said as he slowly slid to the floor. Blaine followed him, kneeling in front of Kurt, neither boy caring about the state of their suits on the dirty tarmac. “I’m so sorry Blaine,” Kurt whispered, “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Me neither, I really did mean to break up with you when I left for college, just like we said. I didn’t want to go to college with a boyfriend but I fell for you Kurt and now I have to try and too know you feel the same way, it changes everything,” Blaine smiled happily up at Kurt.

“I’m not sure I do though,” Kurt replied slowly. The smile fell from Blaine’s face.

“What? But you just said…”

“I know, I told you before I was messed up. You just looked so much like him, the one I truly love that I forgot you weren’t him.” Blaine felt the tears start to fall down his cheeks and anger well up.

“You’re in love with someone else?” he spat out, standing up. Kurt followed.

“It’s not what you think,” Kurt replied desperately, tears falling down his pale cheeks.

“I don’t know what I think. All I know is I fell in love with you Kurt, I probably fell in love with you when I was a sophomore. I’m such an idiot, a summer romance, I should have known that was a stupid idea. One summer, just enough time to fall in love and for you to rip my heart out,” Blaine shouted

“You think I wanted this to happen, you think I wanted to break your heart. I agreed to this because I thought you wouldn’t fall for me,” Kurt shouted back.

“But if you were in love with someone you should never have taken the risk. It’s not fair on me or yourself, or the other person. Who are they? Do they love you back?”

“Yes he did but you see the thing is Blaine, he’s not real. I. Dreamt. Him. Up.” Silence followed Kurt’s admission.

Once more Kurt slumped down onto the floor. “How lonely and freakish do you have to be to dream up a boy and fall in love with him?” he asked quietly. Slowly Blaine moved back to his side, he was angry and hurt but he loved Kurt and wanted to comfort him.

“We all dream up people Kurt, you just had enough time to fall in love,” he replied gently.

“I’m so sorry Blaine, I never set out to hurt you. You need to know the truth, about my dream, if you are to understand, even a little bit why I did this to you.”  Blaine stayed silent, waiting for Kurt to start.

“The boy I dreamed up, he was you, sort of, your name and face but he was different too,” Kurt explained, not looking up at Blaine’s shocked face. “He was clueless for a long time about my feelings, sometimes he would unknowingly trample on them but he was sweet, like you. Quite romantic, when he wasn’t trying too hard but often cheesy, He always gelled his hair and wore bow ties. He was a gentleman, who, after we got together was easily wrapped around my little finger. He told me he loved me in a coffee shop and transferred to Mckinley in his Junior year to be with me. He took a slushie in the face for me that turned out to have rock salt in, nearly losing his sight in one eye. He stood by my side through all sorts. He worried about how we’d do long distance when I left for college but still tried his best to help me. We fought, of course but always made it through. He called me the love of his life after one bad argument.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to love someone so much and then be told they don’t exist? When I woke up in that hospital, everyone around me suddenly had these healing hearts, because they weren’t losing me. I survived but lost someone so close to me and no one truly cared, because he was never real. But he was real to me, Blaine, I loved him.

“I was learning to cope when suddenly you were there, the face of the boy I loved was in front of me. Tell me you would have walked away if it had been you.” Kurt was crying again

Blaine thought about it. “No I wouldn’t have walked away,” he answered quietly, tears once more coursing down his own face. 

“I never meant for you to fall in love, I was just meant to have something real, for a little while. A real Blaine, that people would remember and know. It’s stupid I know but do you know what’s worse? I think without that dream I would truly love the real you, or be well on my way.”

*

Blaine sat in his car, outside the hospital. Did he really have any right to go inside, visit a boy he’d only met once? Visit a boy who had never even gotten the chance to tell his parents that he’d met Blaine but it was impossible for Blaine to just walk away like this. He had to see, he had to say goodbye. Blaine couldn’t help but wonder if he hadn’t held Kurt up so long or if he’d held him just a little bit longer if Kurt would have made it back to school that day.

Blaine opened his car door.

*

They waved Burt and Carol off on their honeymoon. Kurt and Blaine had both cleaned themselves up and stood side by side pretending that everything was fine. Once the car was out of sight Kurt busied himself attending to the remaining guests. Blaine hovered around the edge waiting for a moment to grab Kurt. Finally the place started to empty. Blaine made his move, catching Kurt’s elbow and pulling him into a deserted corner.

“I don’t care,” he said, looking right into Kurt’s eyes.

“What?” Kurt seemed shocked, like he’d expected Blaine to just cut his losses and run after the admission.

“I don’t care, I was the last person you saw before the crash so it makes sense my face came up in your dream but what if you’re the love of my life.”

“Blaine… I… I can’t.”

“Please, I love you. You said there was a possibility you loved me too or could or whatever. The point is I’m not ready to give up. So please, give me a chance, let me make you fall in love with me.” Blaine watched Kurt’s face as he thought. Finally, after a long thoughtful silence, Kurt answered.

“I’m sorry.”