How Could You Do That To Him?

Goddess, help me. Why the hell did I agree to come?

Because, D, you wanted us to be safe and, you know, not die…and stuff.

Are you always in my head Victoria? Because it seems like you’re always in my head.

No, if I stayed in there all the time I would know way more about you than I would ever want to know.

Kurt turns to where Blaine should be at his right side almost on instinct with Vicky’s suggestive tone. He feels his face flare up and tries to pull back when the other boy grabs his hand without any indication as to why. Blaine lets go immediately when Kurt shrinks back and scrunches his face in frustration.

Why does he always act like something’s wrong anytime I touch him? Do I stink?

Blaine sniffs his shirt. Ok, maybe I do.

“Alrighty then!” Kurt squeaks. He tries to clear his throat without much success. “Let’s round up. We all know what we discussed at home. We play it safe. If anything goes wrong, we fly right back to the apartment and leave. No exceptions.”

--

“If anything goes wrong, we come back. I don’t care if there’s a bus full of homeless, starving puppies. WE COME HOME. Ok?” Kurt asks as he comes up with every scenario that has even the slightest possibility of happening. The kids agree, but not with much enthusiasm. “Because I swear to the gods, if any one of you gets hurt, I’ll burn down buildings, and I’ll probably blame the president because she hasn’t made the bill pass, and I’ll go into her office and put a gun to her head, and that is not a smart thing to do because…” Kurt continues to rant for a while, and Blaine and the rest of the kids just sit there. Blaine doesn’t think Kurt would do any of that for him; for the rest of the flock he would in a heartbeat, but not for him. He was too mean to Kurt when Burt died, but Blaine says yes along with the others anyways, and they make a plan on what to do at the riot and how they want it to go.

--

“Now let’s show those ignorant, humans what we’re made of.” Kurt arranges a huge, goofy smile on his face and turns to Britt to give her the go ahead, but then he hears someone cursing in French. Kurt Hummel can’t do many things, but he sure as hell knows how to speak French. Fluently. And that person that was yelling, they didn’t sound too happy.

Kurt almost falls on his ass when Blaine comes up behind him and whispers in his ear “It’s not our problem Kurt. They’re probably having human issues.” Kurt isn’t used to Blaine coming close to him without him wanting to make a scene, or hurt himself in some way. The younger boy generally keeps his distance from Kurt (recently), and Kurt has complicated feelings about the short one, so he often stays away from Blaine. They both have this kind of love and respect that comes with knowing each other for their whole lives, but also a lingering anger towards each other, too. It wasn’t always like this. It only started after Kurt came out to Burt.

--

Kurt had wanted to come out to his father for a while, and then he started dating this boy,  Fang, and after he was dating him for a while, Kurt got tired of lying about who he was going to see when he went out, where he was going, and all that junk. So, he told Burt when they were making cupcakes one day. Burt wasn’t shocked. He said he had known that he was gay since he started picking his own clothes out (at the age of three). Two weeks after he came out, Kurt came home from spending a few hours with  Fang, and found Burt lying on the floor. He was having a heart attack.

Blaine blamed Kurt for their dad’s heart problems. He said he gave Burt too much to worry about at his age. He and Kurt argued on a constant basis, and then Burt died. After that, Blaine had been a nightmare with Kurt. He never listened to Kurt, and Blaine stayed in his room all the time. A few times, he came home drunk from hanging out with the few Others they knew, and he would shout and scream. He tried hurting himself in front of the kids. He was incapable of being comforted or helped in any way. After about a year this stopped, and Blaine apologized for being like that almost every day; he said it was the only way he knew how to deal with losing the only dad he’d ever have. After the apology phase faded, he was just kind of there. He was more like those people in the back who never say anything, no matter what. The flock accepted the apologies, while they lasted, and said they were fine, but the two boys were never really the same after that. Kurt would look at Blaine with pity, and Blaine resented him for it. He didn’t need anyone’s pity. He could take care of himself (although the rest of the flock knew this was a load of crap). But the two also, even though all of that happened, still had feelings for each other…

--

Kurt shakes his head to make himself focus. This isn’t the time to be thinking about that crap. This is the time to be doing something useful.

So, Kurt gives the signal, ignoring Frenchie in favor of crashing a riot. Which by the sounds of it is just starting to get interesting. He assumes Britt flies to the most visible point above the humans as planned…and, as Kurt asked, Mercedes lets him know what happens, which turns out to be nothing.

Nothing happens. No one looks. Not a single head turns.

Kurt, Britt flew right over the crowd, and none of those damned humans noticed her! They’re all looking at something on the ground! What the hell could be so amazing you don’t notice a flying kid?

First of all, watch the language. Secondly, I have no idea, Mercedes! Hey, Victoria, tell Britney to whistle a command to look. Even if the humans don’t understand what it means, that’ll get them to look.

What? No please and thank you, Kurt?

Now.

Okay, okay! Hey Britt!! Whistle.

Lord Tubbington!! I’ve missed you so much! Why should I whistle? Are you close?

No, it’s for the human’s so they know to look. Now whistle the command!

Ok, but I wish you were close, I miss you!!! Here goes Lord Tubby.

Britt whistles as loud as she can.

That’s when the humans notice Britney. They all look terrified as if she’s going to hurt them, and she looks at the humans like they’re idiots. After a silent second of shock, things start to get ugly. The humans start throwing things at the poor girl, and yelling things not right to repeat. Britney’s hurt. She likes all people. Why don’t they like her? But then she remembers why they’re at the riot, and she gets angry.

Well you're the real tough cookie with a long history
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me
That's okay let's see how you do it

Britney sings the first verse, as they practiced, and she directs it right at the group that threw stuff at her because that’s really mean.

Put up your dukes, let's get down to it

“NOW!!!” Kurt yells and the rest of the kids join in, flying above the center of the riot. They circle, and swirl in a complicated, amazing formation, looking at ease with Kurt leading all of them.

Hit me with your best shot!

Kurt looks gorgeous. His turquoise wings have navy blue low lights, and a robin’s egg color highlight; his wingspan almost ten feet long.

Why don't you hit me with your best shot?

Mercedes and Victoria may have identical bodies, but their wings couldn’t be more different. Victoria has tan wings, her feathers speckled with brown and white, while Mercedes has dragon wings. The ends have spikes and her scales are black with ice blue streaks. Both of their wingspans are around five feet wide.

Hit me with your best shot!
Fire away!

            Mercedes starts the second verse.

You come on with a "come on", you don’t fight fair

But she stops almost immediately when she hears Britney scream.

“Gun! He has a gun!” Britt’s lavender wings stop beating from shock, but only for only a moment or two. She drops several feet and has to have Santana grab her for support.

After letting go and landing on the ground, San lights up, her fire starts at her feet, but quickly climbs her body until it’s coming out of every pore of her being stretching in any direction you can imagine. Her scarlet and black wings covered with red and blue flames. The crowd runs away from her, screaming that she’s dangerous, and leaving only the man with the gun behind. Britney thinks they’re all purple cow bunnies (she says this instead of the bad words she wants to say). She thinks that she’s never seen anything as breathtaking or beautiful as Santana standing there tall and proud with her wings out at their full extent, almost seven feet long; the red in her feathers starting to pop against the blue flames that spread to the rest of her body when she warms up. She’s not dangerous, just magnificent.

Then, all at once two things happen. Britney and the kids see what the man was going to shoot, and Santana’s fires become completely white; the flames seem to reach out of her, as if they want more oxygen, like the air around Santana isn’t enough.

            She looks at the man. All he can look at is the two green flames that have become her eyes, and nothing else.

“Get the HELL away from that fox daemon, NOW. Because I am not in a good mood at the moment, and I swear to the gods I will crisp you until you are unidentifiable.” Santana says in a strong voice, head raised.

The man looks between the fox, Santana, and the gun. Deciding his life is more valuable than the daemon’s he quickly sets down the gun and backs away from the strange girl as fast as he can without looking away. When he’s out of sight, Santana looks to the daemon. The first thing she notices is the gash on its head coupled with its unconsciousness. The second thing is that it has three tails, one made of completely fire.

It must be a fire daemon. I think I can pick up a fire daemon while I’m lit up…maybe. Shit, I need to be around daemons more often. I obviously didn’t pick up too much from Zo.

She bends down and picks the fox up. It doesn’t turn to a piece of crispy daemon dinner in the first few seconds, so Santana thinks it’s fine.

She turns to Kurt. “We need to get home. It’s hurt.”

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Kurt looks in the general direction of Santana’s voice, a face of disbelief and anger plastered on. “What did we say? We were supposed to leave, not stay and face some moron with a trigger-happy finger! I said we were supposed to leave! You could’ve been shot!”

“Yes, well, I wasn’t shot, no one here was shot, the daemon is safe, and the human is gone. I couldn’t leave it here to be killed, now could I?”

Kurt mumbles something about knowing it would be the goddamn homeless puppies.

“Fine. I give up, but get your ass home now. I’ll go ahead to get stuff for the fox ready. Like first aid shit, and food.”

“Ok, but I don’t know what a daemon eats. I can probably tell you that it’s not vegetarian though.”

“That does get in the way for us sometimes. We’ll ask it when it wakes up. I’ll go ahead anyways.” Kurt takes off after shaking his head in disapproval and waving goodbye.

The flock doesn’t notice the camera following their every move. Nor do they look around to make sure no one is spying on them, like WhiteCoats. They don’t do any of their normal safety stuff…

When Santana has a tighter hold on the daemon, the kids take off, too. Normally they wouldn’t be so out in the open, flying around like this, but this is about as far from normal as they get, so they opt for speed instead.

I talked to the fox. Her name’s Madeline, but she only speaks French and some daemon language, so I couldn’t understand all that much. Victoria sends out the thought to the flock.

Uh-huh…and how were you speaking with the rather unconscious animal in my arms? Santana replies.

I went into her dream. Madi has a very vivid imagination. She had cars and daemons that I’ve never even seen! It was aaaawesome! Victoria thinks, drawing out the A.

The two continue their conversation the rest of the way home, bickering and making snide comments and lazy threats whenever possible.

When they’re only a few miles from the apartment they all separate because they decide it would be safer to land at different times coming from different directions. You never know who could be watching.

They all hit the deck within a five minute time frame of each other, with Santana going first and then youngest to oldest. The last to land is Blaine, who circles the building to see if there’s anyone on the ground. Since Blaine’s shifted form would be a hawk, his body is built short and stalky, more for strength than agility. His wings are unbelievably wide (his wingspan is almost twelve feet), like two long blades coming from his shoulders. They are white on the underside and have the color rage of milk to dark chocolate on the front with some of the bottom showing through. Blaine can see pretty far too because of the hawk thing.

When he notices no one around the building and grounds, he lands on the deck and walks in to find Kurt already working on the wound on the fox’s head. Victoria looks like she’s meditating while having a hand touching the daemon’s fur. Mercedes is doing the exact same thing on the other side.

They are a sight, those two. I wonder what the hell they’re doing…

We’re sending it calming thoughts so it doesn’t wake up and attack us. We’re trying to tell it it’s safe. Now, stop thinking about us, you’re distracting me. Go read. The book on your second shelf, third from the left has a nice plot twist. Victoria dismisses Blaine with a wave of her hand, the one that’s not on the daemon.

Kay thanks! Sorry to disturb!

Blaine goes to his room and does as he’s told, trying to not be in the way. He’s always in the way.

Santana and Britt go to the roof when they land, right after they ask Kurt.

--

The girls ask Kurt if the both of them can go to the roof to practice their pull ups from dives.

Kurt rubs his temples. “Fine, as long as you promise not to die, or even get hurt for that matter.”

“We promise!” they yell in unison as they run out the back door holding hands and giggling.

When the two girls step onto the deck, they unfurl their wings and beat them a few times to get them to the roof. All the while, Santana hums a tune under her breath.

“San?”

Santana looks up, eyebrows raised. “Yeah, whatcha need?”

“What are you humming? It’s pretty.”

“Just this song I heard when I went out the other day.”  Santana thinks back to when she and Zoantia were in a dressing room at this little boutique in uptown. They had a decent mix playing on the overhead speakers. Something about this song must have stuck with her though because she looked it up as soon as she got home, and Santana hadn’t been able to shake it since then.

“Sing it for me?” Britney asks innocently.

“Umm, ok. Sure, if you want.” She gives a nervous laugh, and stands up.

Under your spell again.

I can't say no to you.

Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.

I can't say no to you.

Santana always likes to dance when she sings.  As she spins and twirls, leaping lazily into the air, she looks like a professional ballerina, but a little different. Her dance is more harsh, but every bit as beautiful. Like a raw emotion put into motion.

Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.

Now I can't let go of this dream.

I can't breathe but I feel...

Good enough,

I feel good enough for you.

Drink up sweet decadence.

I can't say no to you,

And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.

I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.

Santana looks at Britney. Britt thinks this is as close to honesty as she’ll ever get from the other girl. This is all she ever gets. A song from a store, a line from a book; nothing more. They both know that they like each other, but neither of them has ever made a move. Britt just doesn’t understand why it’s so hard for them.

Now I can't let go of this dream.

Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough,

I feel good enough.

It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.

Pour real life down on me.

'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.

Am I good enough for you to love me too?

Santana walks to Britney, all the while being lithe; graceful.

So take care what you ask of me,

'cause I can't say no…

The girls’ faces are less than an inch apart, Santana’s breath tickling Britney’s lips.

“Can I kiss you…Please?” Britney asks. There, she made a move. Just please let her be right. She doesn’t know what she’ll do if San doesn’t kiss her back. But after a moment’s hesitation Santana speaks up.

“Gods, yes.”

 Britney looks at Santana for half a second more before she’s slamming her mouth on the other girl’s soft, pouty lips. There’s nothing soft about the kiss, though. Santana’s tongue is fighting Britt’s for dominance, but she loses as the blonde pushes both tongues into San’s mouth and moves her to lie down without ever breaking the kiss. Santana isn’t used to not being in control, but it’s definitely the hottest thing anyone’s ever done with her. Britney climbs on top of the other girl’s hips and grinds her own against the sub’s, eliciting a moan from the girl.

“God, you’re so hot.” Santana says something back, but it’s too low for Britney to want to focus on. She’s too far gone to try to listen, so she just keeps doing what she was doing.

Eventually they break apart; it’s a looooong while before they do though. After they stop, the girls openly stare at each other and just lay there for a bit until they move, in sync, to the ledge of the roof and jump off together.

--

The others are still in the kitchen. Kurt is feeling around the wound for any shrapnel that might have gotten stuck in there when it was struck, if it was struck. Most people would probably be asking why the blind kid is doing the first aid shit. Honestly, Kurt has been doing it for the past five years, and he’s just the best they have. It’s as simple as that.

When Kurt is satisfied at his search for shrapnel, that seems to be nonexistent, he asks for the first aid stuff.

“Hand me the alcohol, and the gauze…more gauze…jesus, um, just give me the box. And I need that triple A shit.” He applies the ointment (which, apparently, has a touch of lidocaine) generously, and wraps the fox’s head. When he’s finished he stands and puts on all three tea kettles. He’s needed lavender tea since before they left for the riot. Kurt drinks it to calm himself down.

“I’m making lavender tea for me and the daemon, what does everyone else want?” Kurt takes all the orders, and goes to make three cups and a bowl of varying teas.

Victoria and Mercedes stay in the kitchen feet crossed, hands touching air soft, snow-white fur, faces scrunched in concentration.

Kurt scurries about the kitchen making the tea and some food, and Mercedes silently asks when her and her twin can stop.

The daemon is calm, and understands she’s not to attack us, so can we stop this meditating shit, ‘cause we’re tired.

That’s fine. You know you don’t have to ask.

When the kettles whistle, Kurt pours the water into all of the cups, and the one bowl, and takes the tomato, basil, and mozzarella bread out of the oven. Victoria and Mercedes dive on the food, and mumble a ‘thanks’ through their full mouths.

I swear we eat more food than the average elephant.

Kurt walks to the living room, tea in hand. He’s so tired. Kurt can’t remember the last time he got more than three hours of sleep in one night. That coupled with raising the kids, running from WhiteCoats, and trying not to have a nervous breakdown makes him so tired he almost passes out right then and there.

The kids’ll be fine for a bit. I’ll only be asleep for a minute or two.

The tired boy sets down his cup of tea and closes his eyes. His lids are so heavy. Kurt listens for any signs of trouble, and, when he hears none, drifts off into the deepest sleep he allows himself to get. After all, he does have to take care of the kids.

--

After Mercedes pushes Kurt into a deeper level of sleep, and is sure he won’t wake, the twins go into Blaine’s room.

Don’t speak aloud. We want to…think with you.

And I extended the whole ‘I can hear your thoughts’ thing to Mercedes. So, yeah, don’t worry that Mercedes can’t here you.

Ok. Blaine giggles. What do you guys want to “think” about?

Kurt. At the mention of his name, Blaine visibly stiffens. No more Mr. Chuckles.

Um…I’d rather not thanks. How has your day been? He thinks with a pained smile on his face.

Victoria of course ignores Blaine’s request to not talk about the boy and goes straight into a prepared mini lecture.

Don’t deflect. I know how you feel about him. We know what happened after Burt died. I know how Kurt feels too. He did move past what you did. He knows you were really depressed and confused. You didn’t know what to do, so you took it out on him and yourself. It’s the way you processed Daddy’s death. If he had had someone to take out his anger and hurt on, he probably would’ve done the same, but now he’s confused about you. He loves you, and not in the same way that he loves us. He loves you like he loved  Fang and that terrifies him. He doesn’t get how he could after he lost  Fang. He doesn’t want to love you like that, but he does. And you love him the same way, but you have all this resentment from something that never really existed. You think he pities you, but what you don’t get is that he pities all of us, including himself. But you won’t say anything. You’ve been trying to make it up to him for not helping out by just being out of the way and not coming close to him. But you slip up sometimes, like at the riot today. You tried to hold his hand, and then you whispered in his ear. You have to talk to him. This isn’t healthy for either of you, and everyone else in the family notices except you two…

You don’t know anything, and you just need to stay out of it. Blaine says stiffly, with a scowl on his face.

What is it with people trying to lie to mind readers?! Vicky mentally shouts. Do you people really not think about the fact that I can READ YOUR MINDS? Well I can, and you’re an idiot. Why don’t you people just go fix everything and stop hurting each other for no reason?! It’s seriously not healthy! You are in love with him, and Kurt is in love with you. It’s just the fucking truth! Deal with it!

Blaine drops the book he’s holding, and reaches out for something to hold on to. Kurt can’t be in love with him. He just can’t be. He couldn’t have forgiven Blaine that easily and then gone and fallen in love with him. Kurt can’t be in love with him.

I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I’m not lying. I’m not in love with him because he’s not in love with me. End of story. Now get out.

Blaine easily hauls up the two small girls in his arms. He walks to the door and asks Mercedes to open it. She does so, and Blaine sets them down in the hallway, closing the door when he reenters his room.

Victoria looks to her twin. “Did I do something?”

“How am I supposed to know? He seemed moody, though.”

“Seriously!” The twins walk off to talk about what they’re going to say to Kurt about all of this.

Inside his room, Blaine sinks to the ground and covers his face with his hands. His throat is tight and his eyes burn. His whole body begins to shake with the sobs he’s refused to let out for a long time. He doesn’t deserve to cry. He’s the one who fucked up, so he shouldn’t get to cry.

How could I hurt him like that for so long? How could I do that to him? I have to fix this. I have to find a way to make up for it. God, why did I do it? Any of it?

Blaine feels his sobs soften, become less frequent, and stands up to walk to his closet. He pulls out this pack he’s been hiding in there. It has gauze, peroxide, band-aides…and two small razors. He sits down on his bed and pulls up his sleeve.

It’s just this once. One more time, and then he won’t do it anymore.

He closes his eyes, puts the razor to his forearm, and pushes down on it. He feels the first drops of blood pooling on his arm. He loves the familiarity of this. The sting of the razor, the release he knows comes with it. He won’t do it again. He promised this wouldn’t happen again last time, but he swears this is it.

But he does do it, just this one last time.