“Santana, he hit me.” Kurt said softly as they waited in the elevator.

“WHAT?!?!?” Santana asked nearly choking on air.

“He hit me.” Kurt frowned. “We had an argument, and he slapped me.” Kurt said surprisingly calm.

“What the fuck? That’s messed up Kurt.” Santana said, truly concerned for her best friend, not knowing how to outwardly respond to this sudden truth.

“I know it is. But I can’t be mad. It’s just that we were arguing about something important. If we continue dating, he’ll lose his job. I don’t want him to lose his job, but I don’t want to lose him. We both were yelling, and then he slapped me. It was clear he hadn’t meant to, and for the life of me I don’t know why. But he did. And I’m neither mad nor okay with it. I don’t tolerate that kind of behavior, not in anyway, but it’s just that I know he didn’t mean it.” Kurt said. He wasn’t covering for Blaine; he just knew that Blaine, his Blaine, couldn’t do that to him.

“Come on, let’s get wasted.” Santana said kissing Kurt’s cheek and leading him out of the apartment complex.

“You do realize it’s like nine in the morning right?” Kurt asked with a laugh.

“It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right?” Santana said with a wink.

“Are bars even open at this hour?” Kurt laughed.

“Bars? You’re not even twenty-one mister. I’m gonna go buy us some alcoholic beverages and we can go get fucked up in Central Park.” Santana explained.

“Oh, okay. That sounds like a quality plan.” Kurt laughed but went along with his best friend.

Six hours later and Kurt was sure if someone asked him he wouldn’t have been able to tell them his own name he was so far gone.

“Where do hobos have sexxxx?” Santana asked with a laugh.

“Hahahaha in cardboard boxes?? I don’t even knooowww.” Kurt replied.

“Seriously though, like hobos gotta fuck too.” Santana said smiling to herself.

“What?” Kurt asked noticing her smile.

“I said hobos gotsta fuck too.” Santana replied.

“Haha no I heard that. Whatcha smiling about?” Kurt asked and Santana moved close to him.

“I wanna have hobo sexxxx.” She said with a wink.

“Don’t do it San, they’re dirty. You’d getta disease or something and hobos don’t have insurance.” Kurt explained logically.

“Not with a hobo. With youuu.” Santana smiled.

“But I’m not a hobo.” Kurt laughed.

“Yeah, you’sa homo.” She teased.

“Hahaha I liked that one.” Kurt smiled thinking about her joke.

“No seriouslyyy. Let’s get it on!!!! Remember when we were teens?? We were cute. I miss that. We deserves better Kurt, we don’t need cheaters or beaters. We gots eachother.” Santana explained.

“No cheaters or beaters. I like yo logic.” Kurt smiled.

“Come on, let’s have kinky hobo sex!” Santana smiled.

“Homo sexxx. Hehehe.” Kurt corrected her.

“Hahaha yay yay yay.” Santana smiled pushing herself on top of him and kissing him sloppily.

“You taste like girrrrllllll.” Kurt laughed kissing her back.

“You taste like a booooooooy.” Santana mimicked.

“Hahaha you have boobiezzzzzz.” Kurt laughed as Santana brought his hands up to cup her breasts.

“Hahahahaha you’re about to give me the d.” Santana laughed uncontrollably.

“Oh god we’re so gay! Hahaha let’s fuck.” Kurt smiled yanking Santana’s yoga pants down and unzipping his own jeans, Santana lowering herself on Kurt’s half hard cock.

Santana laughed loudly eliciting a “What!?!?” from Kurt. “Nothing, I just forgot how big you are.” Santana laughed.

“Hahaha no one would ever guess the gay boy was packing heat.” Kurt laughed.

“Mmmm feels nice having you inside of me.” Santana smiled sucking hickey’s against Kurt’s pale skin.

“Vagina’s are grossssss.” Kurt laughed.

“Stop being such a pussy.” Santana teased biting hard on his pulse point and grinding her hips down again until she was fucking herself on his dick at a rapid pace.

“Hahahahaha I see what you did there.” Kurt laughed and Santana rolled her eyes.

Kurt stood up, holding Santana in his arms, her thighs squeezing around her waist and he laid her down on the ground, positioning himself over her, fucking into her making her scream.

“Ahh so good Kurt! So good.” She yelled, quivering beneath him.

“I’m close.” Kurt said pounding into her.

“Oh Brittany!” Santana screamed as she came sending Kurt over the edge too, a muffled “Blaine!” escaping his lips.

They zipped and tucked themselves back in, exchanged some kisses, and sat snuggled together on the park bench talking things through.

“I needed that.” Santana said, having sobered up some and being capable of having more conversation than the sexual needs of a homeless person.

“Me too.” Kurt smiled fondly. “Why aren’t you a guy? I love you so much, sometimes I just wish we were both straight. I think I’ve tricked myself into these false pretenses that we’re a real family.” Kurt sighed.

“We are a real family.” Santana smiled and squeezed Kurt’s hand.

“We should probably get back home.” Kurt sighed. “You need to talk to Brittany, and clearly I need to go have a chat with Blaine.” Kurt said softly.

“Do you think we’re going to be okay?” Santana asked. “Do you think I and Brittany will work and you and Blaine will work? I just want the both of us to be happy. We deserve that.” Santana said softly.

“We do deserve that. Come on, let’s walk home. We can get Candie ready for bed together, and sleep soundly in each others arms, and tomorrow morning we can deal with everything.” Kurt said standing and linking arms with his best friend.

“Let’s not tell anyone about today’s activities.” Santana said softly.

“Are you ashamed of me?” Kurt teased.

“No, I just don’t want to complicate anything. Let’s just get everything straightened out. Well not straight, but you know.” Santana laughed.

“I getcha. Come on, let’s go home.” Kurt said leading the way.

“I love you Kurt, you’re the best friend I could ever ask for.” Santana smiled.

“I love you too San, you truly are the greatest friend I’ve ever had.” Kurt said and the two walked home together, always together.