“All right guys first glee club meeting of the year, and everyone’s starting fresh. Audition pieces go!” Mr. Schue announced clapping his hands once with enthusiasm as he entered the room.

“This’ll be about as close to a solo I’ll get all year.” Mercedes laughed elbowing Kurt.

Kurt faked a smile at his best friend but his thoughts were elsewhere. He didn’t want to be in the choir room, singing to him was always about something happy or that he thought fondly of. There was no happiness in his life now. And whether it was his new medications or the lack of one Blaine Anderson in his life he just didn’t feel. Well what he felt was hurt, but a long list of over the counter drugs he found in the medicine cabinet usually took away the pain leaving him with nothing but numbness.

That was another thing he took to alongside the cutting. It started with a handful of Tylenol here to ease the pain and led to more pills and stronger doses. He even found some old oxicotin he had from when Finn broke his arm or something stupid. Anyway the reason he had it didn’t matter. What did matter was that he had a whole bottle of it at his disposal.

He wasn’t stupid, just like the cutting he was going to be careful, keep it under control. It was more of a safety knowing it was there.

On really bad days when cutting wasn’t enough he’d pop a couple of them and drift asleep in a hazy numbness.

Not that his life wasn’t numb enough. He’d grown immune to the pain. He built up his walls and protected his heart. He was a shell of the boy he used to be. But it was okay. He was safe. With the company of his razorblade and a stashed bottle of pills he could make it through.

“What song are you going to sing?” Mercedes asked interrupting his thoughts.

“Don’t know.” He shrugged.

“Well we’re in the same boat, so we’ll come up with something. Wanna grab coffee after school to discuss?” Mercedes asked cheerfully.

“I don’t know ‘Cedes. I’m not feeling that well, I really just want to go home.” Kurt trailed off. That was another thing he was doing, distancing himself from everyone.

“Why have you been intentionally blowing me off?” Mercedes asked offended.

“I’m not. I just, I just. Look ‘Cedes I’m not blowing you off. I don’t feel well and I just need to go home. I’m sorry. How's about another day? We can do something this weekend” Kurt suggested already thinking about an excuse to cancel this weekend.

“Can’t I’m with Rachel all day Saturday and I have a date with Shane on Sunday.” Mercedes said. “I know you guys have Friday night dinners but maybe afterwards we could hang out?” Mercedes asked.

“Sounds good.” Kurt shrugged not really caring at this point. “I think I may have an idea of what I’m going to sing. But I’ll still help you with song ideas if you want.” He added.

“Oooh what are you going to sing?” Mercedes asked.

“Guess you’ll have to wait and see.” Kurt teased. He sort of kind of half smiled, well not really half more like one-quarter smiled. But it was a start. He knew just the perfect song and as he thought about it he couldn’t help but kind of slightly smile. But said smile was dismissed when he thought of how fitting it was and remembered the situation.

His little ray of sunlight was squashed and covered up with more dark and gloomy sadness.

“Alright with Sectionals coming up it appears that we will be up against an elderly choir known as ‘the hipsters’ and also a public school from Lima’s choir ‘the new directions’ the first is only just trying to get their GED’s so I’m not all that worried although I have heard highly of the new directions so we should probably get to work on perfecting our performance.” Wes said hitting his gavel for emphasis as he spoke to his fellow Warblers.

“Why do the new directions sound so familiar?” Blaine asked.

“Why does it sound like nude erections?” Sebastian laughed always finding the need to make everything sexual.

“Warbler Sebastian, please just stop. Be appropriate for once. Please.” David said not quite containing his laughter.

“To answer Blaine’s question I’m not sure, but in order to get know our competition better we should pay a visit to McKinley.” Trent answered.

“MCKINLEY?!?!?!” Blaine all but yelled.

“No way that’s where Rachel, Mercedes and they go” Wes smiled.

“Kurt goes to McKinley too right?” Blaine asked hesitantly.

“Blaine we get it you’re in love with him. Come with us to visit and you can profess your love or something equivalently as mushy.” Wes teased.

So Blaine had been out of the closet at Dalton for all of two days and already his friends where trying to help in the romance department.

Clearly he had been wrong in fearing the worst. They were totally accepting and even said they had known all along. He had nothing to be afraid so he decided he’d go along.

“Alright I’m in. We’re not going to spy on the new directions though. I am going to talk to Kurt; you guys can do whatever you want while we’re there. But I am not associating myself with you guys’ brand of crazy.” Blaine said gesturing to the room.

“You mock us sir.” Trent said mocking hurt.

“Blaine’s right. We can’t just go in there all James Bond like. Wes and I will go with Blaine and while Klaine is off making gay babies or whatever we’ll grill the rest of the new directions.” David decided.

“Gay babies? Really? While me and him ‘are off making gay babies’ really that’s what you’re going with?” Blaine laughed.

“Shut up Blainers. Just be happy you’re going to see your precious summer boyfriend.” Wes teased.

“He’s not just my summer boyfriend. He’s the love of my life.” Blaine said fondly.

“Whatever Romeo.” Wes said pushing Blaine.

“Okay the plans set, tomorrow the three of us are going to spy on the new directions.” David announced.

“I am not spying.” Blaine corrected.

“Right, instead you’ll be off making gay babies with the love of your life.” David said tousling his hair.

“I just hope he still loves me back.” Blaine sighed.