That night Blaine and Kurt didn’t sleep so peacefully.

They each laid awake letting their minds pour over different things.

Blaine lay awake all night thinking about how he had let Kurt’s condition go unnoticed for so long and how he had let it get so out of hand.

What kind of boyfriend was he?

How had he not noticed before?

Then he remembered all the little things he had noticed, just never put together.

God this was just awful.

Kurt needed help.

Blaine was trying to provide all the help he could, but no matter how much he comforted Kurt he still found comfort in his knife instead of Blaine.

He was seriously messed up.

He needed like professional help.

Not just an adult, not just the crazy guidance counselor at McKinley, but like a therapist or something to that extent.

All Blaine wanted was for Kurt to get better.

He put his mind at rest because Kurt had after all agreed to get help.

Maybe he was starting to understand why he needed the help.

That would be like a first step.

Blaine’s mind began concocting plans for getting Kurt the help he needed and deserved.

The first part he had already talked through with Finn and Burt; the intervention.

However, now they would need an update on how bad it had gotten. It was no longer just the overdose fiasco in the hospital, he had continued cutting and was also showing signs of an eating disorder.

Okay so tomorrow morning, well it’s already tomorrow Blaine thought. So in a few hours they would go down stairs for breakfast, and afterwards the intervention would begin.

Everyone already wrote their letters that they planned on reading but they’d probably have to tweak them a little to encompass the new details.

So after the intervention Burt was going to take Kurt up to a mental illness clinic in downtown Lima that offers therapy and psychoanalysis and once Kurt speaks to a therapist they’d find out where to go from there.

Okay everything was basically planned out.

But he still couldn’t sleep.

All he could think about was helping Kurt.  

While Blaine was up thinking about how to help Kurt, Kurt was awake worrying about getting help.

He didn’t need help?

So why was he getting help?

He didn’t see cutting as a problem.

It wasn’t a problem at all; it was a coping mechanism that he found worked fantastically.

He knew he upset Blaine when he cuts, and he didn’t want to upset Blain in anyway so of course he agreed to get help.

But why he needed help was beyond him.

Blaine said he might have an eating disorder? How could that work? Only like skinny people had those. Maybe he had an eating-too-much disorder. He laughed a little at his joke.

He was happy through all the negativity surrounding him these days he was still able to keep a good sense of humor.

Like the other day when he made a ‘don’t drop the soap’ joke to the person going to jail for rape. How did people not find that funny? He thought it was funny.

Hahaha, he was pretty clever.

He was fine. Why did everyone worry about him?

Sure you know sometimes he didn’t feel like living, but who doesn’t feel like that when they have bad days?

Surely everyone felt like giving up time and time again.

Of course maybe not as much as Kurt thought about giving up. And again, they probably didn’t act on that feeling as much as Kurt did.

Was there something wrong with him?

He shook it off. Of course there’s nothing wrong with him.

Or was there?

He was really really really flawed. What if he was mentally imperfect too?

Oh god, no wonder Blaine said I need help. He wants to fix me, but what if I can’t be fixed? Will he leave me?

He’ll probably leave.

Why wouldn’t he, Kurt was just so fucked up. And Blaine was perfect, why should he be stuck with someone as awful as Kurt?

Kurt instantly felt sick, there must be something wrong with him, and Blaine’s going to find out, and he’s going to leave him.

No no no. Kurt couldn’t afford to lose Blaine. He loved Blaine. He didn’t want Blaine to leave him.

But why should Blaine have to stay? Who would want to stay with Kurt? He was just so messed up in every way possible.

Ugghh he really hated himself.

If he hated himself, there was no way Blaine could love him.

Blaine was probably just pretending or trying to pity him by staying with him.

Kurt felt broken, he couldn’t take it anymore.

He stood up and made his way to the bathroom.

Not even bothering to close the door.

Blaine was asleep after all, right?

The second the knife pierced his skin he felt better. Not completely better, but he knew with a few more cuts he could get there.

He dug the knife in sharply and sliced it across his torso.

He was kind of happy Blaine had him keep his shirt off, it made for easier access.

With every cut he felt like he was stronger, he felt more alive, he felt good for once.

He liked using a knife instead of a razorblade because it made it easier to leave longer and deeper cuts. Ones that really hurt and that pain just filled him with so much relief. All of his negative thoughts early were pushed away as the blood dripped from his skin.

Kurt was so busy slicing and cutting his soft skin he didn’t even notice Blaine walking up to him and reaching out for the knife.

“Give. It. To. Me.” Blaine said through gritted teeth.

Kurt started to take one more swift cut but Blaine grabbed the knife.

“I said give it to me Kurt. You have to stop hurting yourself. I’m only trying to help, why won’t you just give me the knife?” He pleaded.

“One more!” Kurt argued like a five year old.

“No, give me the fucking knife and go find some bandages or gauze or something.” Blaine directed.

Kurt obliged but was unhappy about it.

“Babe, don’t forget to use some peroxide.” Blaine added handing over a bottle.

Kurt just grunted and took the bottle of peroxide and dumped some over his stomach where the fresh cuts were still bleeding.

“Kurt, I’m only trying to help you. I can’t stand to watch you hurt yourself. Please why won’t you just accept my help? I’m really trying Kurt. If you’re upset you should talk to me, not harm yourself. Please I just want you to be okay. I just want to be able to help you.” Blaine said sadly.

“And why would you want to help me? You don’t have to pity me Blaine. I get it I have many many flaws. And you’re just Mr. Perfect, so why do you even bother staying with me?” Kurt asked not even looking up at Blaine’s face.

Blaine was hurt. A tear streaming down his face he grabbed Kurt’s face in his hand. “Look at me Kurt, I want to help you because I love you more than anything in this fucking world, and I don’t want to watch you end up killing yourself. I’m not pitying you, I love you and I’m trying to be a good boyfriend and more importantly a good friend. And I’m staying with you because again I love you and there is nothing you can do to push me away. But you’re doing a pretty good job at trying. Kurt, sweetie, please why are you hurting yourself? And why won’t you accept my help? I love you and all I want is for you to be okay. Why can’t you understand that?” Blaine sighed.

Now Kurt was the one crying, “I-I’m so so-sorry Blaine!” he cried into his shoulder. “I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you away, I’m sorry I’ve not been accepting your help, and I’m sorry I’ve been lying to you about my cutting. I love you so much Blaine, I’m just so scared you’re going to leave me because of how fucked up I am and then I just feel so depressed and then I turn to cutting. And I guess it’s wrong and I guess I need help, but I don’t want to stop cutting. It’s something I need. But I’m willing to try for you, because I love you.” Kurt cried out hugging Blaine tightly.

Blaine pulled away from the embrace a little so he could look Kurt in the eyes, “Thank you Kurt.” He said simply.

The two boys cried and held each other in their arms until the early hours of the morning until the finally feel asleep. Only to be woken up momentarily for breakfast.

Breakfast.

This signified the start of part one of Kurt’s help. But what made Blaine even more curious was would Kurt even eat breakfast?

God, he worried so much about Kurt.

He really hoped things would work out soon enough.

And he guessed for now that’s all he could do.

He would have hope.