It’s Saturday morning the things hadn’t changed at all, Blaine still felt miserable and Kurt was trying to talk to him. Blaine had barely slept this week, he kept thinking about Kurt and Matthew. He faked a smile, he had become a professional at it, although he couldn’t fool his closest friends.

Blaine stared at the white ceiling, it was eight o’clock in the morning, Kurt come out of their bathroom and smiled shyly at Blaine “Morning.” Blaine said, his voice had become quite hoarse and he started to worry about his singing voice. “Good morning, Blaine can we talk?” Kurt sat down on Blaine’s bed, Blaine sat up and made some room for Kurt.

“What’s up?” Blaine tried to sound casual, he failed, of course he knew what was coming. Kurt sighed and took Blaine’s hand, he stared at their intertwined hands “Please tell me what’s wrong, he are barely sleeping, you don’t eat, you keep texting to someone and you don’t smile your real smile anymore, the one you use now is fake, I can see it.” Blaine started crying, Kurt rocked him back and forth “Shhht.” Kurt soothed him.

It’s ironic, Blaine was hugging the boy who caused all his pain. Blaine kept crying for a while “Blaine....can you please, please tell me what’s wrong. I want to help you fix it” Kurt pleaded, Blaine considered if he should tell Kurt the truth, no he couldn’t. Perhaps he could tell a part of the truth, technically he wouldn’t be lying then.

“There’s someone I..I..really...care about..and he doesn’t feel the same way...and he doesn’t even notice me, and Santana is having all those problems too. She’s going to tell her parents..and I feel so bad for her, ‘cause I know how it feels to be in the closet. And my voice, it sounds awful.” Blaine was impressed by himself, he had managed to tell Kurt about his feelings although Kurt didn’t know who that someone was.

“Blaine..if he doesn’t feel the same way, it sucks for him, remember what you said to me a few days ago? When I was afraid that Matthew didn’t feel the same way and you said if he doesn’t like you the same way, well then he’s stupid. And I’m worried about Santana too, we could ask her and Brittany to have a sneaky sleepover here, they can sleep in our room. And you need to stop drinking coffee, drink tea. And you know we have a duet, so you better not mess it up! Sectionals is in a week.” Blaine smiled, he internally snorted, because Kurt was saying that he was stupid.

“I will call them, thank you Kurt.” Blaine whispered in Kurt’s ear, and of course this was the time that Matthew chose to enter the room, he saw that Blaine’s lips were near Kurt’s ear. Blaine could see the rage in Matthew’s eyes. Matthew grabbed Blaine’s shoulder, he threw, yes threw him on the floor. Blaine hadn’t known that Matthew was strong, the curly haired boy winced in pain as he fell on the floor. He fell on his face and immediately his nose started bleeding.

“What were you doing with MY boyfriend?” Matthew yelled at Blaine, who was still lying on the ground, the memories of the bullies of his old life beating up came flowing back and Blaine was frightened.

Blaine stayed silent, one pair of hands grabbed the collar of his shirt and put him on his legs again “Were you kissing him?” Matthew yelled, Kurt stood up “Matthew, Blaine was upset, he said thank you that’s all, I’m not cheating on you! Let Blaine go.” Kurt yelled.

Matthew let go of Blaine, Blaine’s shirt was already drenched in blood, he had a d�j� vu moment, a week ago something similar had happened and he ended up with a black eye and a bleeding nose. “Well, it looked like Blaine was about to kiss you, and I know Blaine is in love with you, I knew he would try something, I knew it!” Oh shit was the first thing what Blaine thought, he was busted, he couldn’t hide it. Blaine did what he always did, he ran away.

He was a coward, he ran outside, he ran to a tree and sat down. His life was ruined, Kurt knew now, Matthew had ruined his life, he would never be able to face Kurt again, the boy was probably laughing and kissing with Matthew again.

His phone rang, it was Santana; he answered the phone “Hey Blaine I wonder if we could come over today?” Blaine started sobbing at sound of Santana’s voice “Blaine are you crying? What’s wrong? Do we have to come to Dalton?” Blaine nodded, but he realized that Santana wasn’t able to see him “Please, come.” He begged her “We are on our way, Brittany! GET IN THE CAR, we have to go to Dalton right now! Blaine what happened?” He heard a slamming of a car door.

“Kurt and I were talking and Matthew walked in and he accused Kurt of adultery, he threw me on the ground and my nose is still bleeding...and he told Kurt that I am in love with him...and I ran away...” Blaine heard Santana gasp “Oh my god, are you alright? I’m about to go all Lima Heights on Matthew, I swear I’m going to ruin his pretty face!” Santana yelled in the phone, Blaine held it away otherwise it would hurt his ear.

Blaine realized he was still in his pyjama’s and he was covered in blood, some students who passed gave him odd looks “Santana, I’m fine.” Blaine hoped Kurt had left the room, he stood up and walked towards his room “Blaine I have to hang up now, I will be there in an hour.” Santana said, they said their goodbyes and hung up.

Blaine entered his House, he was attacked by David and Wes, they started rambling and asking what was going on “Uh..guy, I just want to change and clean myself up.” Both boys asked at the same time “What happened? Kurt said you were gone and we started looking for you. Kurt looked like he had been crying and you are definitely crying.” Blaine was shocked how the two of them managed to say this at the same time. He shrugged and ignored the boy, he didn’t feel like talking to them at the moment, his nose had stopped bleeding, he felt a little dizzy, maybe that’s because of the blood loss.

“Blaine?” Wes and David were following Blaine “Guys leave me alone, I don’t want to talk right now.” It sounded harsh he knew that, he immediately regretted it as he saw the looks on his friends faces “I’m sorry, I have to go now.” Blaine hurried to his room, leaving his friends standing in the entrance of their House.

Blaine entered his room, Kurt wasn’t in the room, Blaine let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Blaine took his pyjama off, grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom. The first thing Blaine saw in the mirror was blood, his face was covered in blood and it looked awful, he hoped Santana and Brittany would be here soon.

When all the blood was of his body he stopped showering, he dressed up and wished that Kurt wasn’t in the room, he was afraid that Kurt would laugh at him or scare him away. Blaine opened the door and he found Santana and Brittany sitting on his bed “Hey,” Santana said and hugged him tightly, Brittany joined, but Blaine could tell that the girl had no idea why they were hugging.

“Blaine, how are you? Have you seen Kurt already?” Santana asked softly as she pulled out of their embrace, Blaine shook his head and sighed “I’d be lying if I said that I was fine, and no and I don’t want to see him. He will probably say I am stupid or that he will never feel the same way.” Brittany said “Blaine, your dolphin loves you.” Blaine smiled and shook his head “No, he doesn’t. He’s not my dolphin, he’s Matthew’s.” He had become quite good in understanding and talking with Brittany’s terms.

The door slowly opened, Kurt entered, Blaine wanted to flee again, but Kurt stood before the door and Santana was holding his arm tightly “Blaine....Can we talk?” Kurt asked him, he blushed a little “Alone?” he added. Blaine didn’t want to talk to Kurt, the boy would be telling him he didn’t feel the same way and he never would. Santana and Brittany left the room, and now they were alone. Silence.

Blaine refused to look at Kurt, he was too ashamed of himself “Blaine, let’s sit down.” Kurt sat down on Kurt’s bed and Blaine slowly followed him and sat down. “Is it true that you have feelings for me?” Kurt whispered, Blaine nodded he was fighting back the tears “...I would be lying if I said I don’t feel the same way,” Blaine looked up, he knew there was a ‘but’, there was always a ‘but’.

“But, I’m with Matthew and I really care about him.” And there was the ‘but’, Blaine couldn’t stop the tears anymore, Blaine started to sob “Why can’t we be together?” Blaine managed to ask “I have been in love with you since the beginning, I really like Matthew, and I don’t know if we could be together you are my best friend and I don’t want to lose you.”

“You will never lose me, I promise.” Blaine whispered “Blaine, if I ever break up with Matthew, and you still have those feelings for me, I want to be with you. I want to give it a try.” Kurt hugged Blaine. The curly haired boy had no idea how he was supposed to feel, Kurt felt the same way, but he was with Matthew and now he promised Blaine that they could be together if Kurt and Matthew broke up. It was very confusing.

“Kurt, shall we open the door for Santana and Brittany?” Kurt nodded and Blaine opened the door, he found there four people, Brittany, Santana, Wes and David. They had been eavesdropping, Blaine could tell “Come in guys.” Blaine said, he faked a smile.

The four of them followed him inside “Santana, Britt I wondered if you two wanted to stay here tonight, a sleepover. Wes, David if you want to stay here too, then you are welcome.” Blaine said, he didn’t want to be alone with Kurt tonight. “Yeah, we’d love that.” Santana said and the others nodded in agreement “Brittany, could you help me out, I have bought a new Marc Jacobs jacket and I don’t know where to combine it with.” Brittany nodded and the two of them entered the walk in closet and closed the door behind them.

Blaine sat down on his bed, Santana wrapped her arm around him and Wes and David sat down on Blaine’s bed too “Are you alright Blaine?” David asked, Blaine shook his head “I’m confused...I don’t know how to feel about this.” He was honest, he had all those feelings and his mind was racing, it just didn’t make sense anymore “We get it.” Wes said “Thanks for staying with me tonight, I really appreciate it.” Blaine whispered.

Suddenly Blaine was hugged by three pairs of arms “We are your friends, we want to help you.” David said and the others nodded. They let go of Blaine “Blaine you and...Santana right?” David said and Santana nodded “Can you get some snacks, we totally need food and I know you didn’t have breakfast Blaine, so get breakfast too.” David said, Santana and Blaine left the room.

“Blaine, I’m really sorry for what happened, but I think it’s good that you and Kurt know about each other’s feelings. I think it’s not fair of him to do this to you, but I wanted to tell you something....I’m going to tell to my parents that I am a lesbian, tomorrow evening. I’m sick of being in the closet.” Santana said, Blaine looked up and smiled brightly at her “That’s awesome! I’m so proud of you, if you want to talk about it you can always call me. And don’t mind me so much, I will survive.” Blaine didn’t want his friends to worry about him so much.

xxxxxx
The day had gone by in a blur, David and Wes played most of the day on the Xbox, Brittany, Kurt and Santana had been talking about fashion and gossiping about Glee and Blaine had listened to the three of them, now and then Blaine’s eyes met Kurt’s and Blaine would smile and look away. Things were definitely awkward between Kurt and Blaine, but they kept going.

Blaine had been thinking about what Kurt had said to him in the morning, he kept repeating their conversation and he was thinking about Matthew. Blaine hated Matthew, he was afraid of Matthew, he had done the same thing what all those bullies had done to him.

“Blaine?” Brittany poked him, Blaine snapped out of his thoughts “Uh what?” Kurt snorted “You think too much Blaine, we wanted to know what kind of pizza you want, we are ordering.” Kurt said, this was one of the first times Kurt had said something “Uh....I want..I will take what Wes takes.” Blaine barely ate pizza, so he didn’t know all the flavours.

Kurt ordered the pizza and one hour later it arrived, Blaine didn’t pay any attention to what he was eating “Oh my god, this pizza is delicious, Wes this tastes awesome!” Blaine said as he took a bite of his pizza, Wes laughed “Can I have a bite?” Santana and Kurt asked at the exact same time “Uh sure.” Blaine smiled and let Santana take a bite of his slice and said “This. Is. Delicious!”

Blaine moved a little closer to Kurt and let him take a bite of the slice, it was awkward, but Blaine ignored it and smiled at Kurt, the boy said “Wow, can we swap a slice, you get one of my pepperoni and I get one of yours!” Blaine smiled at Kurt and handed him one slice and Kurt gave him a slice too. Blaine didn’t know how the conversation between them started, but it was nice to know they still could talk without too much awkwardness.

“What are you doing with Christmas this year Blaine?” Kurt asked whilst he was eating his pizza, Blaine thought Kurt was absolutely adorable “Nothing, I will be alone the whole Christmas. My parents are going on a business trip or something. They will find an excuse to leave me alone, how about you?” Kurt gasped “What? My Dad and Carole are going on their honeymoon, and Finn will be out, so if you want to, I could come over for a week or something.” Kurt said, Blaine was immediately excited, he wanted to spent time with Kurt, but he wondered about Matthew.

“Matthew is going to the Bahamas the whole break, and I would be totally bored.” Kurt said in a casual way “You could come over, I’d love that.” Blaine smiled shyly at Kurt and blushed a little “On New Year’s Eve there’s a party at Rachel’s house, you two should come. Finn asked me to invite you two.” Santana said and continued eating her pizza, Brittany snuggled closer to Santana and kissed her, Blaine and Kurt said “Awwww,” and David and Wes stared in shock at the girls “David, why do we hang out with all the gay people?” Wes joked and David blushed and murmured “I have no clue.” Blaine noticed that David was blushing.

This was the second time Blaine had caught David in this kind of situation and he decided they should have a talk soon. “Kurt how many weeks do we have left until Christmas break?” Blaine asked and Kurt replied “Three.” Blaine nodded and remembered something “Kurt do you remember what Thad had told us last week? About that girl transferring here? She should be coming tomorrow.”

They started discussing about the mysterious girl, David remained silent, Blaine decided that he needed to talk to the boy now “David, can we have a word?” Blaine asked, all the eyes were on Blaine, David nodded and they left the room together. “David, I will keep it short. Do you have feelings for Wes? Because I caught you several times staring at Wes and you start blushing at the word gay.” Blaine asked, Wes had a girlfriend, but David didn’t have one.

“I don’t know, I think I have....he’s my friend and he’s a girlfriend, you know. Please don’t tell him.” David pleaded, Blaine snorted this was ironic “Why are you laughing?” David asked, he looked sad and confused “Well, it’s quite funny actually. I’m in love with Kurt and he has a boyfriend and you think you have feelings for Wes and he has a girlfriend.” They burst out in laughter, when they finally stopped laughing Blaine said “I won’t tell him, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here and I think you should talk to Wes about it.”

David nodded “Maybe, when I am sure about it. Thank you.” They walked back to Blaine’s room and entered, everyone was giving them looks. They wanted to know what the two of them talked about “It’s none of your business.” Blaine answered the unasked question, Blaine sat down on the ground next to Kurt and Brittany. Kurt stared at him in confusion, Blaine shrugged “Kurt, is Matthew still mad at you?” Blaine asked, he didn’t want to talk about it, but he wanted to know it.

Kurt looked at the floor “We are fine, he’s still mad at me. And at you, we decided that we should spent some time apart.” Blaine couldn’t help to feel bad for Kurt, he had had caused all the trouble “I’m sure it’s going to be fine between the two of you in no time.” Blaine pushed his feelings aside, he wanted Kurt to be happy. “Thanks.” Kurt whispered softly, Wes and David started playing games on the Xbox again, Brittany and Santana were kissing in the corner.

It was adorable, Blaine looked at the two and couldn’t help but feeling jealous, he wanted to do those things with Kurt, but he couldn’t. Blaine noticed that Kurt was smiling and looking at the girls too “They are really cute together.” Kurt whispered, Blaine nodded “Yeah....” He whispered back. Suddenly Blaine had the urge to kiss Kurt, maybe it was the fact two people were making out in front of them or it was the fact that Kurt was close to him. He tried to ignore the urge and he succeeded.

“What are you thinking about?” Kurt asked, Blaine blushed “Uhm.....Nothing.” Blaine knew that was not a good answer, he knew that Kurt was curious now “You can’t think of nothing, what were you thinking about?” Kurt pleaded, he gave him a look and Blaine felt himself melt to a puddle of goo. Blaine couldn’t think of something, his mind went blank “Uhmm...Christmas...” Blaine internally danced, that was a good lie “Yeah, I was thinking about Christmas presents, I don’t know what to buy for you, so I was brainstorming. Are your parents still at home during Christmas? Otherwise we can spend it together!”

Blaine was mentally applauding for himself, he had told the truth, he still had no clue what to buy for Kurt, he wanted something special. Kurt blushed “You don’t have to buy me a Christmas present, and my parents leave two days before Christmas, is it alright if I come that day?”He said, Blaine raised his eyebrow “Silly, of course you will get something for Christmas from me, and yeah that would be great.” Blaine actually felt good, he hadn’t felt this good since Kurt’s first date with Matthew.

There was a knock on the door, Blaine opened it, and of course it was Matthew. The boys glared at each other, Santana walked over to Matthew and Blaine and said “If you touch Blaine again, I will cut you, I come from a place that’s called Lima Heights and that’s a bad place, a really bad place. If you hurt him I will make you regret that you were born.” Blaine stared at the girl, she was so different right now. She was mad, Kurt stood up and gestured to Santana to sit down again.

“Kurt, are you having a sleepover?” He pointed at the sleeping bags on the ground they had prepared earlier “Yeah the girls and David and Wes are staying over. What’s up?” Kurt asked, Blaine noticed that Kurt looked sad “I wanted to see you. I miss you.” Matthew said “We decided that we needed a little time apart.”

“Well, I don’t want time apart, I want to spend every minute with you Kurt and you keep hanging out with him.” Matthew gestured to Blaine, who stood awkwardly next to Kurt, turning crimson “Matthew, we talked about this, one he is my roommate and two he is my best friend. Please leave for now, we will hang out tomorrow.” Kurt said and Matthew glared at Blaine and left again.

The night went uneventful by, Kurt had been upset for a few minutes, but Blaine made him smile when he tripped over David’s foot and fell on Kurt’s bed with a tud. They went to sleep when they all became tired, Blaine of course couldn’t sleep. The boy was still confused, he was thinking about all the events of that day. When Blaine was sure everybody was asleep, he sat up and listened to the breathing of his friends.

He heard someone crying “Kurt?” Blaine stood up and walked over to Kurt’s bed. Kurt was crying, he ignored Blaine “Kurt, why are you crying, I know that you are awake.” Blaine whispered, Kurt turned around and Blaine laid down next to Kurt. “What’s wrong?” Blaine whispered, Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and pulled him closer “I hate hurting people, I am hurting you and Matthew.” Kurt sobbed in Blaine’s chest “Kurt, it doesn’t matter. You are confused, I get it.” Blaine whispered

“I am confused, but that doesn’t allow me to hurt you, it hurts me when I hurt you. And after what you told me before Matthew came in, I am sorry, I should have noticed that you were talking about me and you felt awful because of me and you weren’t sleeping because of me. And you are still the one who is comforting me. Why don’t you hate me?” Kurt was wrong “Kurt, I should have told you earlier about my feelings. It’s not your fault, you liked him and I didn’t do anything about it, I’m your best friend why shouldn’t I comfort you? I will never hate you, don’t think like that.” Blaine had tears in his eyes, he hugged Kurt tightly.

“I am going to hurt you even more, because I am asking if you want to sleep in my bed with me. I’m sorry. You should hate me. Please, I don’t want to be alone right now.” Kurt pleaded him, Blaine got under the covers of Kurt’s bed and whispered “Of course, don’t worry Kurt it’s going to be fine.”

Kurt was hugging Blaine tightly, Blaine couldn’t help but internally dance, they were so close and their bodies were pressed against each other. He could feel Kurt’s hot breathing on his skin, his shirt was wet, because Kurt had cried on it. Blaine pulled back and whipped a tear away from Kurt’s face. The boys smiled sadly at each other, there was an understanding between them, they knew they couldn’t be together, because Kurt loved Matthew.

After twenty minutes Kurt fell asleep in Blaine’s arms, Blaine stared at Kurt, he wondered if they would ever could be together. Blaine drifted off too, he didn’t have a dream, just a nice sleep, in the arms of the boy who he was madly in love with.