Blaine woke up at the sound of his alarm clock, he groaned and put the thing off, it was 7 o’clock, Kurt was already walking around in the room. The memories of last night came crashing back, the sight of Kurt was breaking his heart all over again, Kurt turned around “Good Morning, you should get up. It’s my first day and I don’t want to be late.” Kurt smiled at Blaine, who managed to smile back.

“Good morning, will you just let me die or something? I don’t want to go to school.” Blaine whined, Blaine pulled the covers off Blaine and dragged him out of bed, that caused Blaine to fall on the ground “OUCH.” Kurt said “I’m so sorry Blaine! But at least you are out of bed.”

Blaine stood up and started dressing up, he wasn’t aware that he was dressing up in front of Kurt until he noticed Kurt staring at him with wide eyes “Uh..oh, I will go to the bathroom.” Said a shirtless Blaine and he hurried into the bathroom.

Blaine looked in the mirror, he had bags under his eyes and his eyes were still puffy, he washed his face and put an over load of gel in his hair. When the boy was finished he still looked like a wreck, but he didn’t care about it.

Kurt was sitting on his bed, Blaine entered the room “Blaine are you ok? You look horrible.” Kurt said his voice was full of concern “Kurt, I’m fine. I had a nightmare so I couldn’t sleep anymore.” Blaine lied, Kurt didn’t seem convinced “You are lying, I know it. Why are you lying?” Kurt said his voice was still full with concern.

“Kurt, honestly I am fine, I’m not lying. What are you gonna do with...Matthew? You two..kissed...” Blaine stuttered, he was fascinated by his yellow socks. He wondered why he was wearing yellow socks, he was interrupted by Kurt “I don’t know, maybe he doesn’t like me. We are going on a date today, so I will ask it. Blaine what if he doesn’t like me?” Kurt started to panic.

Blaine pushed his feelings aside “Kurt, look at me. I’m certain he’s very fond of you. You are an amazing person, he asked you out remember, he kissed you and he asked you out again. Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine. And if he doesn’t feel the same way, then he must be really dumb.” Blaine was impressed that he had said this, he had encouraged Kurt to go for another guy, the ache in his heart was back when he had finished the sentence.

“Come on Kurt, we have to go to class. You can walk with David and Wes, so bye.” Blaine smiled at Kurt and grabbed his bag, before the boy could leave Kurt grabbed his shoulder and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thanks.” Kurt said and rushed out of the room, it took a few seconds to progress what happened. Blaine’s stomach was doing all sorts of weird things, he felt amazing, Kurt had kissed him on the cheek. This sounded stupid, Blaine knew that, but he knew that Kurt would never be his and then he kissed him on the cheek, that made Blaine happy.
The boy slowly walked towards class, with a dopey look on his face, not realizing he was already too late for class. Mrs. Black looked up as Blaine entered the classroom “Sorry I’m late, I forgot my bag.” The boy beamed at her, he lied too much he knew that, he didn’t want detention. “Ok, sit down Blaine.” Mrs. Black said.

Blaine sat down next to Jeff, the conflicted feelings started to come back, he wondered why Kurt had kissed him, was it a friendly gesture or did it mean something more? The memory of Kurt kissing Matthew came back, Blaine became more sad in seconds, he didn’t pay any attention to his teacher.

Jeff poked Blaine “Yo, Blaine are you alright?” Jeff whispered, Blaine shook his head “Kurt...kissed...Matthew.” He whispered back “Oh..that’s weird...” Jeff answered, the boy looked confused “Why?” Blaine wanted to know why it was weird.

“Never mind, but does he know that you like him?” Jeff whispered, Blaine was glad that they were in the back row and everybody was working on their assignment and chatting happily. “No of course not.” Blaine answered. Jeff sighed and started working on his assignment, Blaine was lost in thoughts again.

xxxxxx
“Blaine? Hello? Are you alive?” David waved his hand before Blaine’s face, the boy snapped out of his thoughts “Uh...yeah I’m alive.” Blaine looked at Kurt and Matthew who were talking excitedly, he stared at the pretty pale boy. It was nice to stare at him, Blaine loved all of Kurt’s features they were soft and sharp at the same time. “Blaine?” David said, he nudged Blaine. The curly-haired boy blushed furiously, he hadn’t noticed he was staring at Kurt.

“Blaine can I talk to you for a minute?” Matthew asked, Blaine was taken aback “Uh sure.” Both boys stood up and walked away, when they reached an empty classroom Matthew started to talk “Ok, Blaine. I want to ask you as nice as possible, please back off Kurt. I really like him and I want him to be my boyfriend. I know you are in love with him, heck you were just staring at him.” Blaine’s heart was stabbed again, he didn’t see a reason to fight for it, he had already lost it.

“I understand it, I will back off.” Blaine whispered, his voice broke “Please don’t hurt him, he’s been through a lot.”

Blaine left the classroom, he walked back to the canteen.

Blaine sat down at the table, all the eyes were on him, he could feel them “Blaine, are you alright?” Thad asked, Blaine looked around and faked a smile “Yes, I’m fine.” The boys weren’t convinced Blaine could tell “Blaine why are you upset?” Kurt asked, Blaine’s eyes met Kurt’s.

Neither of the boys wanted to look away, Kurt’s eyes were concerned with sorrow and curiosity and Blaine’s eyes were filed with adoration and pain. “I’m fine.” Blaine said, but his voice betrayed him. Matthew sat down next to Kurt and Blaine broke the eye contact he had with Kurt.
Blaine’s phone vibrated “Excuse me, I have to take this.” He had texted her this morning to call him when she could. The boy hurried away and he answered the phone.

“Hey Santana.” Blaine said his voice wavered again, he hated his voice right now “What’s up hobbit? You sound sad.” Santana said. Blaine snorted at the nickname, Wes and David called him always hobbit too.

“Kurt kissed....Matthew...and Matthew said I have to back off and.....he’s going to ask Kurt to be his boyfriend. Kill me now.” Blaine sounded desperate and sad, he felt the same “Oh...Blaine why aren’t you fighting for Kurt? You love him right? And the only one I’m going to kill is one Rachel Berry”

“Kurt doesn’t feel the same way, he doesn’t want me. I’m too late already, we still have one class and then Kurt goes on his date and he will come back as Matthew’s boyfriend.....” Blaine sighed, tears stung in his eyes, he forced them away. Blaine wondered why he was crying or wanting to cry so much lately. “Blaine..wait a second the New Directions are entering,” Santana said Blaine could hear voices “Rachel shut up about your solos! If I can’t call normally I’m going all Lima Heights on you!” Santana yelled at Rachel, Blaine was shocked that Santana was so mean, but she seemed nice and caring.

“Well, I for one think that you shouldn’t call here in the choir room, where I sing my solos.” A girl sneered back, Blaine guessed that it was Rachel “Blaine...can you meet me at Lima Beans in an hour?” Blaine knew he had class and he should be leaving right now if he wanted to make it “Of course, I will see you there! Bye.” Blaine hung up.

He was going to skip class, he definitely was. Blaine walked back to the table where his friends were sitting “uhm David, do you want to say to our English teacher that I didn’t feel well and went to bed? I have to go. Thanks David.” All the boys looked confused, David nodded and Blaine turned around and left the canteen.

Blaine was in his room, he grabbed his keys, coat and wallet. He turned around and took a piece of paper and wrote on it:

Dear Kurt,

Have fun with your date, don’t be scared it’s going to be fine.
I have to meet a friend of mine.

Loves Blaine.

Blaine put the piece of paper on Kurt’s bed and left the room.

xxxxxxx
One hour later Blaine was sitting in the Lima Bean, he was waiting for Santana to show up. The door opened and Santana walked in, she was alone.
“Hey.” Santana sat down on the chair across Blaine, she observed him “Hi, how are you?” Santana said, Blaine sighed deeply and drunk a little of his coffee “Terrible.” He said “How come you are nice to me, but you were a real bitch no offense during Glee club while we were talking on the phone?”

Blaine wondered what her answer would be, he didn’t want to talk about Kurt, so he had decided to talk about something else. Santana started crying “Santana, what’s wrong? Come here.” Blaine moved his chair and hugged her tightly. The girl was sobbing on Blaine’s shoulder “Shhht, Santana you can tell me. I won’t judge you. Shhht.” Blaine tried to reassure the poor girl, he had no clue why she was crying.

Santana calmed down “I’m sorry...I will explain why.” The girl wiped the tears away “The reason I’m a bitch is because I’m scared that they will find out that I’m a lesbian and I don’t want that to happen any time soon. Look what happened to Kurt, I don’t want to transfer. I’m afraid to get hurt and be vulnerable.” The girl started tearing up again.

Blaine took Santana’s hand in his “Santana, I understand. I am going to tell you a story, I want you to know this. This is my come out story.” Blaine didn’t know if this was a good idea, but the girl had a right to know what happened. Santana squeezed his hand and nodded.

“I was thirteen years old when I realized that I wasn’t like the others. I figured out that I was gay, I came out to my parents and they didn’t take it quite well. My mom accepted me, but my father didn’t, I was allowed to keep living with them, but that was it. They didn’t talk to me anymore, they acted like I didn’t exist. When I was fourteen they found out at school that I was gay, that’s when the bullying started.” Blaine took a deep breath.

There was one other gay kid at school, he was one year older than me, his name was Mark. We relied on each other, when the other was beaten up we took care of each other....They used to beat us up every day after school, I hated my life. One year later, things were worse.” Blaine’s voice broke, he had to go on, he had to tell Santana what happened.

“They started stalking us, the wounds and bruises became worse, but nobody cared. They were like hey if you are gay your life is going to be miserable, nothing we can do about it. I don’t know what kept me going, I think it was music and Mark, every day when I was at home I was in my room singing and writing music. It kept getting worse and worse, Mark couldn’t shake it off anymore. I noticed he was more silent when we were together, he was depressed.”

Blaine wondered why he hadn’t stopped Mark, he didn’t know what Mark was going to do, but he knew something was really wrong.

“Mark stopped talking, he didn’t eat, he didn’t do anything. He started skipping school a lot, and I was alone and when I was alone at school, they beat me up for Mark and me. At some point they broke my left arm, but I didn’t care less.” Blaine sighed, Santana was staring at him, he could see different emotions in her eyes.

“One day I woke up and I had a really bad feeling, my arm was still broken . I went to school, Mark wasn’t there, I decided to go to his house after school, I hadn’t seen him in two days and I wanted to see him again. I cared about him, I think I was in love with him, but I didn’t realize it that time. After the usual beating up I went to Mark’s house. I knocked on the door and Mark’s mom opened the door. The second I saw her I knew something was wrong, she was crying and she hugged me immediately. She started sobbing on my shoulder, she said that Mark..Mark...had committed...suicide.” Santana gasped and squeezed his hand.

“I went in, his mother told me she had found him in his bed the night before, he had taken an overdoses of some kind of drugs. He had written several letters, one was for me. I have it in my wallet.” Blaine took his wallet and revealed the letter from Mark “I always carry it with me.” He said, he gave the letter to Santana.

The letter said:

Blaine,

I’m sorry, I can’t take it anymore. I don’t have the courage to keep going.
Blaine you are an amazing boy, no matter what the other people ever will say to you, you are amazing.
I don’t want to end like this, but I can’t do it anymore. That’s why decided to commit suicide, I am probably dead by now.
Blaine we had a great time together, and please keep holding on to music when I’m gone, you are a great performer and you will be famous in ten years, I’m sure of it.
I’m sorry for those day I skipped school and I left you alone, I know you were beaten up for me too, I am a coward. I wish my life had been different.
Remember that time when we dressed up in my mom’s dresses? Or the time that we build a massive sand castle and you demanded you were the princess? You are a great friend, I have so many good memories of you, you are strong. This is weird, writing an goodbye letter, please never do that.
Blaine listen to me, I don’t want you to give up. You are going to find somebody as strong as you are, you are going to fall in love with him, get a bunch of babies (Please call one Mark, that’d be awesome) and marry with him. Never do give up, you are going to get through this, I know it. Please don’t give up? I gave up and I don’t want you to die. There’s this school in Westerville, it’s called Dalton, ask your parents if you can transfer there.
Blaine you are my best friend, and I will never forget you.
Maybe we will meet again, in heaven, hell or I don’t know. I guess you are going to find out after a long time, I’m probably there already.

Courage, Blaine, courage.
Never give up.

I will miss you, loves Mark.
Santana had tears in her eyes, she gave the letter back to Blaine who put it back in his wallet. “Blaine...I am so...so sorry. This is terrible.” Santana whispered, she squeezed his hand “I did what Mark asked me to do, I transferred to Dalton and I’m safe now. Wes and David took care of me, it took a while to figure out what happened and this has happened a year ago. I’m glad I never gave up, I have had moments that I wanted to die too, but I met all these amazing people. Kurt, the Warblers, you and Brittany. Santana we don’t know each other for long, but I see you as one of my best friends and I care about you.” Blaine smiled at her and Santana hugged him.

“You are my friend too Blaine.” Santana whispered “Santana, I don’t want you to give up. Keep going, never give up. If there’s something, you can come to me, you can beat me up, you can maim me I don’t care, if there’s something that upsets you, you come to me. Santana you are not alone.”

Santana nodded “I’ll never give up. Thank you for trusting me to tell this, I will come to you, I promise.” Blaine smiled at her “Please don’t tell this to anybody, you are the only one who knows, besides Wes and David. Kurt doesn’t know.”

“I won’t tell anybody. I have to go, Blaine thank you.” Santana said as she stood up “Why are you thanking me?” Blaine asked, he looked on his watch and it said that it was nearly 5 o’clock. Santana hugged him “For being here and giving me a reason not to give up. I have friends to live for and for the things I love to do.”

Santana and Blaine parted, Blaine was in his car driving back to Dalton thinking about Santana, about Mark and his old life. Blaine wondered what would have happened to him if he hadn’t transferred to Dalton, he decided not to think about it.

xxxxxx

Blaine entered his room, he stopped in his tracks. Kurt and Matthew were lying on Kurt’s bed, kissing, no making out. Kurt’s hair was ruffled, his shirt was wrinkled and his jacket was lying on the ground. The boys immediately stopped kissing, they looked at Blaine.

“I’m sorry. I will leave.” He whispered softly, turned around and left the room. Blaine felt numb, he didn’t feel anything, he still hadn’t progressed what had happened in the room. The boy went to the choir room, he wanted to sing. He wanted to let it all out, the image of Kurt making out with Matthew was burning before his eyes.

Blaine felt like everything in his life had been ripped apart and burned. Tears were flowing, he didn’t care if somebody would see it, his heart was ripped out. His whole body was aching.

He entered the choir room, it was empty. Blaine sat down on the piano bench, he started to play with all his focus on the music, he forgot everything around him. It was just him and the piano. He began to sing.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.

A tears were flowing, Blaine didn’t stop them, he just let them flow. He put all the pain he was feeling in the song, the image of Kurt and Matthew still before his eyes.

It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Blaine felt hollow, all he could think of was Kurt, he loved Kurt with every shattered piece of his broken heart, he would always love Kurt, forever.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

Blaine meant every word of the song, he had to deal with Kurt now. He had to. Kurt was his friend, he would have to accept that Kurt was only his friend. He knew that he would never get over Kurt.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Blaine knew he couldn’t live without Kurt. The door silently opened , Blaine didn’t notice it, he was too into the music.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

Blaine couldn’t describe what he was feeling, people said that everything was shattered, but that was an understatement, this was the worst pain you could have.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

The song ended, Blaine sat down in the corner of the room and started sobbing, he didn’t know when Thad appeared, but he did. It could have been hours or it could have been minutes, the boy sat down next to Blaine and wrapped his arm around Blaine’s shoulder.

Blaine continued sobbing, and Thad was holding him. “Blaine....I assume you figured it out.” Thad whispered Blaine nodded “I walked in on them....they were making out...” he whispered “Let it all out, I wanted to warn you before you figured it out. They are boyfriends now, Kurt told me. When I was wandering around trying to find you I heard you singing and I knew you figured it out.”

David entered the room “Oh god Blaine! We have been looking for you.” David sat down on the other side of Blaine. The curly-haired boy nodded “I...I was with Santana....and I told her about Mark, and now this. I’m sorry for crying and making you worried about me. I’m sorry.” Blaine tried to stop crying, he knew that his friends would think of him that he was weak if he continued crying. David nodded, Thad looked at David in confusion, he shook his head to dismiss the unasked question.

“Blaine, come let’s go to the canteen. I bet you are starving.” Thad said as he dragged Blaine back to his feet, the boy shrugged and followed the others. He couldn’t let this happen again, he couldn’t cry in front of his friends, they were probably thinking he was weak.

xxxxxx

Blaine’s phone vibrated, he was in the canteen, Kurt and Matthew weren’t present. Blaine opened the messages.

Blaine, I wanted to thank you again, you made me think about a lot. I hope you are ok, has something happened? I feel bad, I was supposed to help you, but you helped me out in the end. I wanted to say, if there’s ever something hurting or upsetting you, come to me ok? So we have each other. –Santana

Blaine smiled at the text, he genuinely liked Santana, he cared about her. It was a nice thought that she wanted to be there for him. Some of the Warbler were shooting him looks, he didn’t notice it.

Your welcome, I’m not really alright. They are together and I walked in on them making out, I feel better now. I will have to put a smile on my face and be happy for Kurt, I’ll have to put my feelings aside. Thank you, I really appreciate it. Can you come over soon? You can take Brittany along if you want to. Yes, we have each other. –Blaine

“Who are you texting Blaine?” Jeff asked, the boy regarded the boy with interest “Santana, she’s a friend of mine.” Blaine smiled, got up and left the canteen without another word.

Blaine knocked on the door, he didn’t want to see another making out session between Kurt and Matthew. He opened the door, Kurt was alone, the boy looked extremely happy and beamed at Blaine. “You look happy. So I assume the date was a success? Well...I walked in you two...so I guess it went alright.” Blaine smiled brightly at Kurt, although Blaine wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

“It was lovely, we went to the park and he bought me dinner after. When we were eating he asked me if I wanted to be his boyfriend and I said yes. Blaine do you believe it? I am here for three days and I already have a boyfriend! He’s so sweet!” Kurt rambled about Matthew, and the more he said the more he hurt Blaine.

Blaine smiled and commented on the things what had happened, on the outside he looked happy, but on the inside he was internally suffering, he wanted to punch Matthew for some reason, but he was happy when Kurt was happy, well that wasn’t true.

“Blaine your eye still look awful. Let me put some cr�me on it.” Kurt took a container out of a drawer and gestured to Blaine to sit down on the bed. Blaine sat down on his bed, Kurt placed a chair in front of Blaine and opened the container revealing some white cr�me.

Broken heart or not Blaine enjoyed Kurt being near him, Kurt started to put the cr�me on Blaine’s black eye. His eye felt in an instant better, the cr�me was cooling down the burning of his eye and skin. “Thanks that’s better.” Blaine smiled at Kurt, the pale boy inspected his face and said “Ok, I have to admit, it does look badass.”

Blaine’s stomach started tickling again and he blushed.

“So where did you go today? You suddenly left, and I found a note on my bed that said you were meeting a friend. Who’s your friend?” Kurt asked him in a casual voice, but Blaine knew was very curious “I was meeting Santana, we talked about some stuff.” Blaine answered smiling at Kurt, he didn’t want Kurt to ask further.

“What stuff? And why wasn’t I invited along? You aren’t going to have sex with her like Finn did last year?” Blaine was surprised when Kurt asked him if he had sex with Santana “What no? I didn’t have sex with her, maybe you noticed, I am gay. You were going on a date, and she wanted to talk to me, she was scared about you know her sexuality.” This was half a lie, Santana was obviously scared, but they had talked about something different.

“Ok, well I’m going to do my homework, because they gave me loads!” Kurt started to do his homework, and Blaine decided to do it too.

Both boys went to bed when they were finished, Blaine said in a hoarse before he put off the light “I’m really happy for you Kurt, that you have a boyfriend.” He switched the light off and laid down in his bed.

“Thank you.” Kurt said back.

Blaine silently cried himself to sleep that night.