Blaine sat in his room thinking his sister’s letter over. He knew that tonight after everyone had gone to bed and Kurt came to see him in his room, Blaine would have to talk to Kurt about Sebastian. He was not looking forward to the conversation, but if Kurt was feeling heartbroken Blaine would do everything he could to fix it. 

The day is awkward at best, and Kurt barely even touched Blaine during their lesson even though there is no one else in the house. Even Mercedes had left to run errands for the Hummel’s and herself. Blaine wanted to tell Kurt everything, right there in the parlor, but he could not risk someone walking in on the middle of the story. If he has his way, Blaine would only have to tell this story once and Kurt would not want to hear much about it. 

So they barely acknowledged each other all day and Blaine wondered if Kurt was even going to show up at his door. Blaine figured that he could give Kurt the chance to come before he goes to Kurt, Blaine sits on his bed and reads until there is a soft knock on his door. 

“Kurt.” He smiled and pulls the other man into an embrace. “I was worried that you would not come.”

“Ophelia told me to give you a chance to explain.” Kurt said into Blaine’s neck. 

“Come in, I am afraid it’s not a story that you are going to want to hear.”

“You are not married are you?” Kurt goes to sit on Blaine’s bed, looking positively terrified. 

“Of course not.” Blaine sits down next to Kurt on the bed and takes his hands.

“Do you not think that Ophelia would have told you about that, no matter how much she loves me?”

“I think I am making this worse in my head and perhaps you should just tell me.”

“You are not the first boy I have courted.” Blaine said softly, not daring to look Kurt in the eye. “Back in New York there was a man named Sebastian and we...”

“Courted.” Kurt’s voice was quiet and tight. 

“I...Are you angry?”

“No.” Kurt could hear his voice getting higher. “Just...is that why you will not let me close you you?”

“Kurt, I....Sebastian.” Blaine reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. “I am not sure what I should tell you.”

Kurt sat up straight. “The truth would be nice.”

“Please do not be angry with me. Everything that happened with Sebastian, I wish I could take it back, but I cannot. I care about you very much, Kurt, and I do not want you heartbroken.”

“What did you do with this Sebastian?” Kurt whispered. 

“If you are asking if my virtue is still intact I am not sure what to tell you.” Blaine hung his head and kept his low. “I know I have not done everything with a man that a man can do, but I have done enough.” Daring to look up at Kurt’s face, Blaine could see the hurt in Kurt’s eyes. “I will understand if you would wish to end our... Courtship.” 

“Is this why you will not touch me? Because you are still in love with this Sebastian and I am just a poor substitute?” Kurt’s voice was angry. 

“No, Kurt, of course not. Sebastian is nothing to me.” Blaine rushed to assure Kurt.

“Then you must think I am a child because I have not had other men to court and to fool around with?” Kurt abruptly stood from the bed and looked down at Blaine, his eyes hard and full of hate. “I think you are a slut.” With those final words Kurt stormed from Blaine’s room, though he took the care not to slam the door. 

Blaine continued to sit on his bed wishing that he had better chosen his words or that he had not spoken at all. It had not been his intention to make Kurt feel poorly about himself and certainly had not wanted to make Kurt feel like a child, and Blaine certainly did not think of Kurt as one, but what hurt the very most is that Kurt had spoken the words that Blaine had been applying to himself since he had been with Sebastian. Slut. That is what he was, letting Sebastian convince him to do those things made him a slut. Blaine was nothing more than a common whore and Kurt deserved so much better. 

Certainly Blaine was going to now need to leave Lima and his dreams of being the music teacher there. It would be unbearably awkward staying in the Hummel household with Kurt’s ire towards him, but he deserved every bit of it. Once Kurt made his distaste of Blaine known the rest of the Hummel family would fallow suit and soon the entirety of Lima. It was not a big enough town where Blaine thought he could stay after making enemies with one of the best families in town. 

Hopefully, Blaine could play ill and stay mostly in his room until he could get a train ticket home without surprising his family. That would take weeks and if Blaine was not going to be teaching Kurt he would not take his pay, and perhaps Burt would grow tired of the piano teacher who was not teaching and ask him to leave. Perhaps Kurt would not mince words about exactly had happened between the two of them and Mr.Hummel would throw him out. 

What would happen after people found out that Blaine preferred the company of men was in the Lord’s hands, but it terrified Blaine. That was the sort of news that followed a person and he might not even be safe in New York. Blaine would have a ruined career to go alone with his ruined reputation. 

He briefly entertained the idea of joining up when war broke out, as it certainly would. There he could keep his head down and feel as if he were being useful to some cause. If it were God’s will that the war end his life, could that really be the worst fate he could suffer? There was nothing left for him in either New York or Lima, Ohio. Not after telling someone in truth the state of his reputation. Then Blaine thought what going to war would do to his poor mother’s nerves and he settled on buying a train ticket home and hoping that Kurt would keep quiet about this conversation. 

Dear Ophelia, 

I am coming home. I am sorry that this letter is so short, but I do not wish to write the entire affair out as it is too fresh in my mind. Also, it is something that might kill our poor mother if she were to find out. Please inform Mama and Papa that I will be soon after you get this letter. I will catch a carriage from the station. 

Blaine. 

The next morning when Mercedes came to fetch him for breakfast, Blaine complained of a headache and stated that he would be spending the day in bed. As he closed the door and returned to his sleep clothes, Blaine wondered how Kurt would react to the news. He wondered how Kurt would spend his day now that he did not have a piano lesson after breakfast. 

Tomorrow, Blaine would go and mail his letter and buy his train ticket. Then he would say goodbye to the little town that he had begun to think of as home. He would even bare Mrs.Reed’s gossip with grace because she had been extraordinarily kind to him in her own way. Perhaps he would even skip Kurt’s piano lesson, because even being in the same room as beautiful, perfect, wonderful Kurt hurt Blaine’s heart. 

When the next day came, Blaine once again skipped breakfast with a complaint of a headache, but left his room when he knew that he could get out the front door without anyone noticing him. He felt a coward, but there was no way of knowing what Kurt had said, if anything, about him to his family and he would much prefer to miss Mr.Hummel in any foul mood. 

In Lima, Blaine took his time making his way first to the post office and then to the train depot. He took even longer making his way back to the Hummel house. Mrs. Reed stopped to talk to him and he stayed chatting with her for so long that she had asked him if he had a piano lesson with Kurt. Quickly Blaine thought up a lie and smoothed everything over with a smile. He was not sure what he had told her, but he hoped it was nothing tragic enough for her to have to visit the Hummels over it. 

Over dinner, Blaine decided that he would tell the Hummels that he was leaving. It was better to tell them and finish out the month that he had been paid for, though that would mean not skipping anymore of his and Kurt’s lessons, then return home. A simple lie about them needing him home for work or Ophelia’s up coming wedding would worry no one and Blaine could tell Ophelia once he got home so she would ignore any letters that Kurt might send to her concerning the matter. Though he could only hope that Kurt’s hatred of Blaine spilled over to his family and he would refrain from writing Ophelia any more letters at all. 

“I am glad to see you are feeling better, Blaine.” Mrs.Hummel smiled as Blaine came into the parlor before dinner. 

“The fresh air seems to have cleared my headache right up.” Blaine smiled at her tucking an old letter from his mother into his pocket for them to see. None of this could be done by half if he were to leave the Hummels with no questions after his departure. 

“I did notice you skipped our lesson today.” Kurt did not even look up from whatever it was he was reading. 

“Oh, leave him alone. He was ill, but we are glad you are better now.” Mrs.Hummel smiled at Blaine again.

“Thought we were going to have to get the doctor come revive you.” Mr.Hummel said with a chuckle. 

“Only a headache, but I am feeling better.”

At the table, Blaine spent his time trying to figure out how to bring up his leaving. Thankfully, Mrs.Hummel seemed to make the segue for him by asking him what news of home his mother’s letter contained. 

“I was actually going to talk to you about it after dinner, but now seems as good of time as any.” Blaine shifted in his seat. “I am afraid that I must leave for New York at the end of the month. My family needs me home, but I will finish out the month.”

“If it is an emergency, you may leave as soon as you need. None of would blame you.” Mrs.Hudson looked terribly worried. 

“It is nothing urgent, I assure you. Just a family matter that I should be present for.”

“Is your sister getting married?” Mrs.Hummel asked. “You had mentioned that she was being courted.”

Blaine smiled. “It appears so, and I would very much like to be home for the wedding.”

Kurt muttered something that Blaine could not hear, but Mrs.Hummel gave him a scandalized look and Mr.Hummel admonished him for being in such a foul mood. 

“There is no reason to take it out on Mr.Anderson.” Mr.Hummel tells his son. 

The next day was worse than the one before it as Blaine was now feeling better and had to come down for breakfast. Also, he could not skip Kurt’s lesson as he had the day before as much as he wanted to. To make matters worse, the house was empty as the two of them sat down at the piano. 

In no mood to play the duet they had been working on before their ugly end, Blaine searched for a hymn as Kurt played through his warm ups. While Kurt stumbled his way through, Blaine paced the room giving his advice from anywhere but the piano bench. 

Kurt was obviously becoming frustrated with the lack of help from his teacher and finally he slammed his hands down on the keys. “You should not let your work suffer just because you are a slut.” He snapped and Blaine stopped his pacing. 

Standing as still as he could for a minute with his eyes closed, Blaine willed away his tears. “I think that is enough for today, we will continue on the hymn tomorrow.” Blaine whispered and headed for the stairs. 

To his great shame, as Blaine passed through the hall he noticed Mercedes standing there, most likely coming to tell them that lunch was ready. He could only shake his head and make his way up the stairs. 

“Mr.Kurt, you should not be so awful to Mr.Blaine.” He could hear Mercedes say as she entered the parlor. 

“I am only telling the truth.”

That night Mercedes brings Blaine dinner in his room and tells him that she told the Hummels that Blaine had another headache. She smiled at him as she set down the  tray and asked if he would need anything else that night. 

“No, thank you, Ms.Jones. It was sweet of you to bring me my supper.”

“Kurt should not have spoken to you that way, but he gets so angry sometimes. I think he is having a hard time with some of the other men in town. Not that that gives him an excuse, but I hope you understand that it is not you he is really angry at. You just happen to be the person he knows is easiest to hurt. Finn was his target before you came.”

“Thank you, Ms.Jones.” Blaine smiles as she leaves the room and pulls the door softly closed behind her.