I leaned my head on the window of the train, staring at the outside, the way the landscape - if I really can call it like that, given the circumstances - In the way that they turn in giants blurs in motion, as in my own mind Right now, I think it's because of all kinds of drugs they gave me for my injuries. But all this worth it pass through, worth it for Kurt.

Kurt. The love of my life, the reason that I'm alive. Is because of him, always because of him. He was my sanity on the arena, all I did, all that I've lost, people who never will return to their families, just thinking about this, I feel my heart pounding heavily in my chest, I feel the dread flooding on all my body, drowning in memories I 'd rather never have lived. I have to calm myself down, I can't think about this, at least not now. I'll try to use the same tactics that I used on the arena. I'll think on Kurt, in his beautiful voice, more beautiful than the singing of the birds, his smile that has the power to make everything nice, his eyes, oh! his eyes, I don't even have words to describe how beautiful they are. his porcelain skin.

My eyes start to get heavier and heavier. I close my eyes and I relented to morphine.

***

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" echoed through the vastness of the arena.

This scream, this voice. NO, NO. This can't be happening. Quinn!

I go running towards of the voice, or rather, trying to run towards the voice, my left leg is still very sore, Quinn would be angry with me, for I am causing further damage to your hard work, forcing the muscles of my leg in this way .

I keep running all the way, I fall, I get stuck on branches, thorns tear my blood, I don't even worry about falling into a possible trap, all that I can think about is in finding Quinn.

On the way, I hear the same scream, sounded over and over again, only more desperate, with more pain. I Accelerate the pace, my leg is complaining, but I can't stop now. She's in trouble. She needs me.

When I got there, I am greeted with a terrible image. Quinn bloody, full of wounds covering her body, surrounded by two people. Two tributes careerist. A tall boy, muscular, I think he is of the district 1, but not sure. And a girl, smaller, slightly lower than me, holding a knife that is twice his head! I remember her, in the training center, staring at me all the time that we spent there, she is from District 3.

"Okay, come on, my patience is running out, girl!" Said the boy, walking around Quinn. "Where is he?"

Quinn, turned her head, staring at the ground. The boy gives her a violent kick in her stomach, knocking her down.

"We will cooperate with you, if you say where is he, we will give you a quick and painless death," said the girl, approaching of my partner, getting both face-to-face.

The next act, surprises me. Quinn spits on the girl's face. "Never," she murmurs.

The girl is full of anger, holding the knife tightly, and attacks Quinn, more than once, taking pain-filled screams of the girl at the center of the clearing.

I hear the cry coming from the lips of the helpless girl in the center, I prepare myself to intervene, but she meets my gaze, knowing exactly what I'm about to do, she shakes her head slightly - if I had blinked I would have missed the gesture - she keeps holding my glare, with eyes pleading silently. My heart stop in realization, she is ready, prepared for imminent death. The tribute from District 3 starts talking again, interrupting my thoughs.

"She will not talk, I admire this on you" she says, passing the knife softly on Quinn's face. "I'm going back to our camp," said the girl, now turning to the boy behind her. "Finish with this bitch."

When she is out of the clearing, I prepare myself again, against two careerists, I don't have any chances, but against only one is another story.

The careerist boy takes the knife that was thrown on the ground and runs toward Quinn, I can't control myself, I run towards him, but it's too late, The knife is already stuck in the Quinn's stomach .

Never thought I could feel this way, that the anger could take care of me like that, on this intensity. I Caught two knives that leave saved in my boots, and attack on the boy, one hitting him in the arm and another in the thigh, knocking him down. I grab the biggest knife in my bag, and harpsichord in his neck, tearing it. I Don't even give him one last stab to spare him of the pain he must suffer, he to suffer, for what he did with Quinn. Quinn!

I Crawled until I reach the side of her body - my legs can not take anymore - the cannon had not sounded yet. With trembling hands, I press her injury.

"Quinn" I say with a trembling breath, holding back the tears. "Open your eyes, please, I beg you, don't die, please, don't leave me alone."

I keep begging, until I get breathless, when I hear the cannon, the tears now fall freely in my face, crying like I never cried before, sobs ripped out of my throat. Meanwhile, I take my hands off of her injury, to and hold her's hand.

"I 'm so sorry, Quinn." I Say, when I hear a slight noise.

"B-B-B-B-B-Blai-"

"Q-Quinn?" Said desperately, my mind may be applying a catch on me, "Quinn, y-you still here?" I said strongly.

"Of-course, y-you w-will not get-t rid of m-me so e-e-easily" She says with a slight smile on her lips.

"Of course not" I replied rolling my eyes "I wil-"

I'm cut by a coughing fit Quinn, her cough skirt with blood, a lot of blood.

"I'll get help," I declare, my despair returning with more intensity.

"N-N-N-NO!" She said between coughs. "Blaine is o-over, th-there's n-no w-way."

She speaks, every word said, bringing flashes of pain on her face.

"Quinn, d-d-don't Say That, please ... A-Always have a way .."

"Blaine, j-just sta ... Stay here w-w-with-me, and I'm sca-a-ary, do not live me alo-one." She cried.

"Ok-a-a-ay." I stutter, holding her hand tightly.

"A-a-a-nd Blaiiin... Beeeeeeeth... please". She moaned. "Care. Please."

"Sure, I'll take care of Beth"

"Thank y-"

"No, do not push yourself" I said quietly

Her breath is broken, she is moaning in pain on every breath of air.

"Quinn, please have something that I can do for you? Anything!"

She closes her eyes. she opened her mouth, like she wanted to say something, but shut most rapidly, thinking whether or not to say.

"Quinn, tell me" I speak "You can tell me anything." I Gently add.

"Y-You Could make the p-pain go away." Quinn said softly after a while of silence.

Her words hit me like a punch. She could not be asking me to do that, kill her like an animal for thousands of people watch, her own family, her own daughter. DON'T. DON'T. The Capitol should be going into a frenzy right now.

"Quinn, please do not make me do this, I jus-"

"Blaine, I'm not obliged you do-o-o anything. I just-"

She could barely finish the sentence, uttered a cry of pain that made my stomach churn.

"Okay, I'll do this." I say, swallowing hard.

"B-Blaine, j-just promise me that you will win this, f-for me, f-for Kurt, but above all, for you," she murmured.

"Always" I say letting a tear fall from my face.

Position myself behind her, holding her head in my arms, trembling.

His breathing is faster and very high - or is it that mine?

"Courage, Anderson," She said feeling my muscles tense.

I give a short nervous laugh.

"Courage, Fabray"

"Be still and know that I'm with you
Be Still and Know That I am here
Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still, be still, and know. "

I started to sing, to calm me down, but doesn't work very well, when I'm about to stop it, I hear a faint voice, almost inaudible, saying 'keep'.

"When darkness comes upon you
And covers you with fear and shame

If no one is standing beside you
Be still and know I am.

Be still and know that I'm with you

Be still and know I am. "

In the last phrase of the song, with a heavy sigh, I did what she asked me to do.

When I breaked her neck, almost simultaneously, I hear the sound of cannon, announcing her death. I Embrace it with all the strength I could find, crying all the tears that I was holding. I tried to compose myself, I look to the side, to discover that the boy district 1 still there, raise me and take his jacket off, covering Quinn and closing her eyes, now look like she was in a deep sleep.

I lift up my my left hand, and pressed the three middle fingers against my lips, and stretch toward the sky, that's our signal in District 12, this is my last goodbye to Quinn.

***

"Blaine! Blaine!" Agreement with someone shaking my shoulder and yelling my name.

"Another nightmare?" Paul, my stylist asks.

I mumble in agreement.

Paul realizes my despair and leaves on the bench beside me two pills.

"They will help you sleep." He says with a sad smile gracing his lips.

He runs his hands through my hair, messing them lightly, just as he used to do before the games begin. He throws me a last look and exits the waggon.

I Caught the two pills in my hands, and stare for a moment, suspicious, but I just giving in, I can not trust in the Capitol, but Paul proved to be quite reliable despite tud, picked up the pills and swallow.

The pills don't work. At least not as well. I fall asleep to be awakened by horrific nightmares. Scream and flounce, trying to get out of the mist produced by drugs, that keeps me arrested on these nightmares, unable to leave. Looks like I'm drowning in keepsakes, souvenirs too bad.

When I wake up again, I'm covered by a layer of sweat, my chest is swinging in an irregular rhythm, closing my eyes tight, try to focus on the breath, trying to calms me down.
Paul knocks lightly on the door of my waggot, calling me to get ready.
My prep team staff starts talking about random subjects, about all what happened while I was in the arena.
I nodded occasionally, gave them friendly smiles, but was not really paying atention, my mind was full, wandered to other places, more exactly to District 12.

After finishing I return to my seat in the same position that was hours ago. With the corner of my eye I see our little station. At the window I see several cameras and people. I get up and prepare me, putting a beautiful and friendly fake smile - how could they expect me to be happy after all? They are unbelievable.

When they open the door of the train, the first thing I see is Kurt ...