On Sunday mornings, the Warblers performed at nursing homes in smaller groups so that they each had at least two Sundays off a month. This was Blaine’s Sunday to perform.

“Yeah, okay” David sounded annoyed. “Well, whatever it is, it better be over by tomorrow – we have rehearsal.”

Mmm, hmm was all Blaine could mumble out. He heard David make an exasperated sound then walk out closing the door –loudly- behind him.

Blaine waited a few moments to be sure he heard David’s footsteps retreating down the hall. He lowered the navy and red plaid knit blanket from his head so that his nose was uncovered and he could finally draw in some fresh air. What was the matter with him? Why did he feel so shitty? It’s not like Kurt was still angry with him; they had made their peace by the time he left yesterday. At least he thought they had. Kurt hadn’t texted him last night as was per their usual routine. Then again, Blaine hadn’t written him either. What if Kurt really was still upset but just said he wasn’t so that he could get away from Blaine? What if –

Suddenly there was a soft rapid knock at the door. Blaine drew the blankets back over his head so that all that was visible were a few soft black curls against his pillow. “Go away!” He sounded pathetic.

He heard the door knob turn and knew instantly who it was by the sound of the footsteps.

“Wes, I already told David that I’m sick! Surely you guys can function without me for one Sunday!”

“Hmmm, sick eh? Look, I saw you and Kurt out by the tree yesterday and it looked more like a lover’s quarrel then just two guys exchanging highlights from the second inning of last night’s hockey game.”

“Periods you jackass; hockey is played in periods! Baseball is innings! And we were not having a lover’s quarrel!” Blaine fired back, his head never emerging from the safety of the darkness provided by his tartan blanket.

“Whatever. I’m not here to give you grief; you need today off? Fine, then take it. But figure this shit out because we can’t afford to lose two of our choir members, especially our lead! I’ll be back in a few hours and if you –Ughh, I can’t believe I’m saying this, if you really need to talk then we’ll, I don’t know, we’ll have a Swiss Mocha Moment or whatever it is that you sensitive homos do”.

“Fuck off Wes” came from the blob under the blankets.

“I love you too!” and with that, Wes was gone.

Blaine lay in his bed playing yesterday’s events over and over in his mind; analyzing every word, every facial expression, every innuendo. Now what was he suppose to do? His best friend was attracted to him. This was seriously weird; much more so than it was flattering. Uhgg, and he had already promised Kurt that he wouldn’t let it affect their friendship. And he didn’t want it to affect their friendship but how could it not? He berated himself for having pushed Kurt to talk to him about his romantic feelings. He wished like hell he could go back to being ignorant and naive to Kurt’s affections.
***************************************************************

Kurt lay back on the chaise lounge out in the sun room. His honey almond mask slowly absorbing into his moisture deprived skin and a slightly chilled green tea and eucalyptus compress over each eye to reduce the puffiness. He had cried all night. The soundtrack to Les Mis�rable played softly in the background. It was so....so perfectly tragic!

“...And still I dream he’ll come to me, that we will live the years together; but there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather!...”

A lump settled in Kurt’s throat as he sang along with the CD. Ahhh, Fantine; now there’s a girl who knows heartache! Kurt removed the compresses from his eyes and sat up reaching for the cloth soaking in the bowl of warm water on the side table. Slowly he wiped the moisturizing mask from his face, savouring the warmth of the moist terrycloth on his skin. He wished his whole body could be wrapped in this warmth, swaddled like a newborn baby. Maybe then he could finally escape from the pain that always seemed to follow him throughout his life. His mother had died, his father had almost died, he had a little girl’s voice and if that wasn’t bad enough, he was gay and bullied out of his own school. And now, the only true male friend that he had, who also happened to be gay, was the object of his affections AND he had told him about it! Holy Barbara, Bernadette and C�line, what have I done?!

He knew instantly when the words came out of his mouth that he never should have admitted to Blaine what his true feelings were; no matter how angry or frustrated or pressured he had felt in that moment. He had imagined a hundred different scenarios over the past few months of how, one day, he would profess his love to Blaine! They all ended the same way: Blaine would reach for him, pull him into his arms and stare into his eyes, tears filling up his own hazel pools and he would say, “My darling Kurt, you have no idea how I’ve longed to hear those words!” Then Blaine would draw him even closer so that their bodies melded into one; taking Kurt’s pale face into his strong almond hand, he would also declare his love with a fervent intensity. And then they would kiss; first hesitantly, then tenderly before succumbing to their mutual passion!

RING! RING!

Kurt gasped, ripped from his romantic reverie by the ringing of the telephone. “Hello?”

“Warbler Kurt? Warbler Wes here... ”

What a pompous pansy. Kurt knew it must be official Warbler business as this was the only time Wes trotted out the pronouns.

“I’m calling to inquire if you are available to step in at today’s performance as one of our members is out ill?”

Kurt was in no mood to be accommodating or entertaining. Any other time he would have anxiously jumped at the opportunity to be included in another performance, even if it was just at a nursing home. Directors and music producers had to visit their elderly parents too; and one of these days, Kurt just knew that he would be discovered!

“In Ohio?!!” Blaine had laughed warmly with Kurt when he had shared his theory with Blaine....Aaaah, Blaine....

“Gosh, I’m really sick today Wes; must have caught a bug or something.” Kurt did sound congested due to the many hours of shameful sobbing but he added an impromptu cough for good measure. “Really sorry I can’t help you out...” You pretentious pinhead! Kurt finished the sentence silently in his mind.

“Hmmmm, seems to be a lot of that Bug going around lately. Let’s make sure that you and Blaine keep your...germs to yourselves when it comes to competition time!” Wes cautioned with an implied scolding.

“Blaine? What- he’s the one who’s off sick today?
What’s wrong with him? Is he going to be okay? Has he been to a doctor or does he need someone to take him to the hosp -?”

“Thank you for your concern Kurt...” Wes had cut off his panicked inquisition. “I’m sure that Warbler Blaine will be just fine - eventually. I’ll pass your well wishes along. Sorry to have disturbed you.” And with that, the line clicked dead.

Kurt’s anxiety reached an anguished peak. Wes had not at all sounded concerned or sorry to have called him. He actually sounded detached and irritated. How could Wes not be worried about Blaine? They were roommates for god sakes! Why wouldn’t he tell him what was wrong? Blaine must be really sick and come to think of it, Blaine hadn’t even texted him last night. Well, of course neither had he, but, but he was upset and embarrassed and sobbing! Of course he was in no condition to compose a lucid text message! Kurt considered his options; call him? Yes, he should call him to see if he’s okay, see if he needed him to come and - suddenly a dark thought clouded Kurt’s mind -

Uh! Ohhhhhh..... Could it really be? Could Blaine be “sick” today for the same reason that he had claimed to be?
***************************************************************

It was late afternoon. Except to shuffle downstairs in his slippers to grab a brownie, a bottle of water and to take a leak, Blaine had not emerged from his bed all day. He tormented himself, vacillating between self-hatred for pushing Kurt too far; and escaping his own responsibility by squarely placing the onus on Kurt. He didn’t want this situation to be his fault. He couldn’t live with himself to think that he had hurt Kurt or ruined their friendship. But he didn’t want for it to be Kurt’s fault either. Blaine hated the way it made him feel to harbour anger towards Kurt. It just felt so... wrong; almost sacrilegious to attribute such a negative emotion to such an innocent soul.

What the hell was wrong with him? It’s not like there wasn’t a new girl almost every week that went weak in the knees at the sight of Blaine or at the sound of his voice. This wasn’t anything new to him. Blaine had become accustom to the adoration and longing; it rather amused him and no doubt he knew how to play it up to the fullest for his own entertainment. Besides, his charm and flirty smile made the girls feel special for a moment. What was so wrong with that? So why was this so different? Kurt was right of course– nothing had really changed... So what if he knew that Kurt had a crush on him? Big Deal! But for some reason it was a big deal; Kurt wasn’t just another starry-eyed, romance reading, boyfriend shopping, teenage girl. No, he was his classmate and fellow Warbler and...Friend.

The door flew open and Wes entered throwing his blazer on the back of his desk chair.

“Good lord, it stinks in here! Did you even bother showering today?” Wes chastised as he pulled his shoes off and tossed them towards his closet, causing them to clunk heavily on the polished wooden floors. Blaine just glared at him.

“Quite obviously not if that smear of chocolate on your darkly stubbled face and gel matted monstrosity on your head is any indication! You look homeless. It’s gross.”

“Not in the mood, Wes”. Blaine lay his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes in an attempt to dismiss his roommate.

“Yeah, well neither am I, but this little homo- hurricane that you and Kurt have going on is fucking up my choir not to mention my claim to leading the Warblers to our first place title at Nationals on my college application! So get your pathetic, self-indulgent, stink-ass up and get ready because this is going to be one hell of a long night if you don’t start talking right quick!”

Under normal circumstances, Blaine would have blown Wes off like the annoying little gnat that he was. Like the arrogant closet queer that he was! But it was that one word that caught Blaine off guard – the one word that made his stomach rock and his chest suddenly tighten, Self-indulgent. Was he really so selfish and so transparent?

Grudgingly, Blaine kicked the covers down to the foot of the bed. He sat up, combing his fingers through his product knotted hair and sat crossed legged leaning back against his headboard. With a deeply exhaled sigh of defeat Blaine said, “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

Wes leaned forward from his seat on his bed, hands folded over his knees and began, “You know, an interesting thing happened today. I was trying to find a replacement for you at our concert and the first name I thought of, the most eager of all Warblers, was of course, Kurt. But when I called to offer him your spot he immediately declined. Apparently he too was strangely ill. So what do you make of that Blaine?”

“Okay Fine. We sort of had a, a disagreement yesterday. But it was resolved. Maybe he really is sick. How did he sound?” Blaine asked not sure if he really wanted to hear the answer.

“Like he had been up crying all night. Oh, and before you suggest that maybe he just had a cold, I could hear the distinctive painful chorus as only Jean Valjean can sing it, playing in the background”

Blaine’s head dropped down into his hands, “Fuck”.

“Now, if memory serves, I seem to recall that the only other times I’ve witnessed Kurt submerging himself in Les Mis, is when he lost the competition for a solo and during the final week that Oprah was on air. So you want to tell me again how the two of you resolved your issues? Or do you want to cut the crap and tell me what really happened so that I can put my damn choir back together?! Like I said, it could be a long night but the choice is yours”. Wes ended with a self-satisfied shrug.

God Blaine hated Wes when he was smug. Hated him even more when he was right. “Kurt has ahh...he has feelings for me. Romantic feelings.” Blaine arched his eyebrows to punctuate his statement.

“And?”

“And?! And he has the hots for me! What do you mean And?”

“Surely you’re not surprised by this?” Wes studied Blaine’s perplexed and pained expression. “Oh – my - god , you are surprised!”

Blaine was instantly annoyed that Wes appeared to have some inside knowledge that he did not. “You’re damn straight I’m surprised! We’re not dating! We’re best friends!”

“Really? Are you sure about that? Let’s see; the two of you spend every day together, you coordinated this semester so that you would be in the same classes, you wouldn’t dream of missing your standing ‘coffee dates’ with Kurt, you stood up to a football bully to protect him, you use him as your duet rehearsal partner even when you are more than prepared for your performances, you even went to his father to plead that the poor man educate his son on safer sex! Not to mention the googly-eyes that you make at one another during Warbler practice. It really is nauseating the other guys by the way. So if you think that all this is just friendship, then you are even more oblivious than I thought was humanly possible!”

“You know what Wes? You’re a real dick. You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Blaine knew he was enraged; knew that he was likely to go too far again. “Most friendships aren’t like yours and David’s. MOST people don’t jerk their friends off when their girlfriend’s refuse to put out!”

“Ouch. Jealousy will get you nowhere. I do believe we have a case of he that doth protest too much!” Wes gave a smug giggle.

“You know what? You can go to hell!” Blaine flopped down on his bed to a laying position once again then with great fanfare, turned his body over dramatically to face away from Wes.

“Very mature my oblivious and child-like friend. I have one recommendation and one thought to leave you with. Kurt is hurting - a lot. And my guess is that you had something to do with that. He is also very worried about you. You should have heard his reaction when I told him you were sick. It might have been precious if it hadn’t been so sickeningly annoying. So as your Counsel Leader I am strongly urging you to call Kurt and kiss and make up. Or on second thought, go over there and do it in person. Much more enjoyable that way! If you’re still adhering to the fable that you aren’t in love with Kurt, or at least in lust with him, the thought I leave you with is this.... The next time you’re rubbing one out, pay attention to whose face you’re seeing in your fantasy. I’m sure you already know the answer to that one, but if not, you may find it revealing. And on that note, I’ll take my leave. I suddenly have a strong urge to visit David’s room!”

Blaine suddenly flipped around lobbing his pillow in Wes’ direction, hitting the door just as it was closing. “Grrrrrrrr! ASSHOLE!!” Blaine shouted after Wes. All he could hear was Wes, laughing in the corridor as he walked away.

TBC