Not Coping Like I Should
vanillaandhoney
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Not Coping Like I Should: Chapter 8


M - Words: 1,736 - Last Updated: Oct 15, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 10/? - Created: Jul 15, 2012 - Updated: Oct 15, 2012
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Author's Notes: Realizing it's been almost a month since I updated this. I'm so sorry! Hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Contains minor season 4 spoilers -- but all the same I thought I'd let y'all know.
Trigger Warning: alluded to child abuse.
Also -- disclaimer: In addition to not owning Glee or any of the characters from the show, I do not own the song used in this chapter, which is 'Welcome to My Life' by Simple Plan.
Chapter 8:

Colin knew it was only a miracle, and not hospital policy that kept the hospital staff from questioning his relationship to Sebastian in the ER.

Of course the fact that Sebastian lied, stating that he was Colin's grandson may have helped too, but neither of them talked about it.

The teen helped him fill out the paperwork, and then all they could do was wait.

After what seemed like an eternity, they finally took Sebastian back to be examined. It was determined that he had a broken wrist, and would need a cast.

So when they finally left, long after midnight, thanks to the wait they'd endured, Sebastian tried to thank Colin by giving him money for gas.

"Don't bother, kid...there's something else you can do though."

Sebastian waited, fingers dragging idly over the new, blue cast encasing his wrist.

"What?"

Colin shrugged.

"Don't let there be a next time. You're welcome to stay with my wife and I...and Blaine could use some company around the house since his brother's back in LA."

The brunette hesitated.

"I'll be okay, sir...but thank you."

Colin frowned.

"Sebastian, I may not have seen stuff like what you're most likely going through first hand, but I've heard enough to know that it's not gonna stop until you decide to leave. You understand?"

He nodded and fished his house key out of his pocket.

"Thank you for the ride."

He didn't wait to watch Colin pull out of the Smythe's driveway before sneaking back into the house.

---

"Blaine, you okay?"

Blaine didn't look at Marley and she turned to talk to Wade instead. He was immersed in his phone, checking for texts from Kurt. Screw being grounded. It wasn't going to keep him from talking to his boyfriend.

Plus, it distracted him from the current glee club crisis: They'd managed to get three new recruits in addition to Harmony and Wade -- two students: some girl named Marley and Puck's younger brother, Jake, and someone Artie had pulled from AV club, but the student (for some reason Blaine couldn't remember his name) who had backed out.

Long story short, they were now one member down and would have to find another one to avoid being unable to compete at Sectionals.

"Blaine?" Sam touched his arm, and he flinched away. "Hey, dude come on."

"What?" The dark haired boy's head snapped up and he glared at his friend. "I'm sorry if I don't really give a shit about Sectionals --"

"Yes you do, Blaine." said Tina. "You don't want to lose out on competing any more than the rest of us."

Blaine groaned.

"Well I'd say I think I know who could fill our twelfth spot, but you'd all consider it betrayal." he scoffed.

Artie's eyes widened.

"What -- not Sebastian --""Don't go there, Artie. He's not spying. His parents moved and put him in public school. That's all I'm saying." Blaine looked at Mr. Schue. "I know you probably agree with them, but honestly I think it's our best option. Hell, it's our only option."

"He's not getting in without an audition." said Sam.

The shorter boy rolled his eyes.

"Obviously. I'll go get him."

He bolted from the room.

---

It was a miracle that Sebastian had been able to hide his wrist from Blaine all day. He supposed wearing a jacket had helped to cover it.

It had certainly helped hiding it from his mother -- though he knew he couldn't do that forever.

He was in the library trying to finish his math homework when Blaine found him.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asked.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"Where else am I going to go after school? I'm finishing my homework, Blaine. Leave me alone."

"Do you miss singing?" the question was so abrupt in subject change it caught Sebastian off guard.

You have no idea.

"What's it to you?" he snapped.

Blaine's expression turned triumphant.

"You do." he walked over and leaned against the table where his former competition was sitting. The brunette willed himself not to look directly at Blaine...no eye contact. Absolutely none...especially with eyes that gorgeous..."You miss it. I can tell. Hear me out, and if you don't want to, I'll drop it." When Sebastian said nothing, Blaine continued talking. "We need one more for Sectionals -- you can audition for New Direction and help us." he paused and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. Sebastian settled for looking at the plaid bowtie the other senior was wearing. "What do you say?"

It only took a few minutes for Sebastian to agree to it. He'd take any outlet to make him forget about his homelife.

And if it was what he loved to do the most then so be it.

---

Nobody was happy to see Blaine and Sebastian walk into the choir room.

"Just so we're clear, you do something that in anyway hurts any of us in here -- physically or emotionally -- or you ruin our chances at Sectionals, your ass is out." Sam snapped.

"Sam, let him sing before you make threats." Blaine said exasperatedly before taking his seat. He didn't realize that he'd nudged his phone against the seat of the chair, hitting the send button on the last contact he'd pulled up:

Kurt.

---

Deep breath...Deep breath...you can do this...

Sebastian inhaled and crossed his arms, fingers digging into the cool violet fabric of his jacket. Then he started to sing.

Do you ever feel like breaking down
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

He didn't look at any other glee member...only Blaine -- and occasionally the back wall. Though he did see the occasional exasperated looks exchanged by Artie and Rory. He didn't want their pity...though they were likely to lash out at him for this. He was only hoping for it to help Blaine...and if it got some of his own feelings out then yippee.

It was no doubt affecting his friend (Blaine could deny it all he wanted but the two boys were pretty much friends), but the brunette didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Do you ever wanna run away
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on, turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to be lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

When he looked at Blaine again, he saw that the other boy had tears in his eyes. Sebastian didn't know whether to badly because his friend obviously was identifying with the song, or relieved to express himself without revealing what went on at home.

He crossed his arms and walked over to the piano, leaning against it.

Do you wanna be somebody else
Are you sick of feeling so left out
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate
Are you sick of everyone around
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like

To be like me
To be hurt, to be lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

He decided to chance a look at some of the members of New Directions besides Blaine (who looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown). Sam looked like he wanted to throttle him, and Artie was giving him a bitch glare that could have rivaled Kurt Hummel himself.

Tina was watching Blaine, and she looked worried.

Sebastian didn't blame her; he was too...but he couldn't stop. As much as he wanted to, this was liberating catharsis for him -- emotionally and physically.

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be okay

---

In New York, Kurt was leaving a Dance class, phone glued to his ear. He could hear everything going on in the choir room, due to Blaine's accidental call; he knew Blaine wasn't supposed to call until later, for their now five minute conversation due to his grounding by his grandfather.

What the hell was Sebastian doing auditioning for New Directions? He knew from Blaine that his former rival had transfered, but his boyfriend hadn't said why.

If he was pulling a 'Jesse St. James'...

"Kurt!"

Rachel was waiting for him at the cafe on campus like she'd been doing since the start of the semester -- at least on her days off; she had a part time job at another coffee shop closer to her appartment with Finn.

The countertenor waved her off, too focused on the call to think about telling her about his day.

---

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to be lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Kurt quickly hit the 'end' button on his phone, his hands shaking as he headed toward the cafe. There was only one option, and that was to call Blaine and find out what was going on.

Because if Sebastian was involved, it couldn't possibly be anything good.

---

To be hurt, to be lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

"Well." Mr. Schue cleared his throat as soon as the song ended. "I think we should all welcome our newest member, Sebastian Smythe."

"No way, Mr.Schue!" said Artie. "He's already making things difficult -- look at Blaine!"

Sebastian looked over at Blaine and immediately felt like an ass: the other ex-Warbler was hunched over in his chair, shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs.

Before anyone could say anything to remedy the situation, the sounds of Perfect by P!nk filled the room.

Blaine's phone was out of his pocket in a flash and at his ear.

"K-Kurt?" he said, breath hitching. "I -- Hang on a sec --"

And without a word he hurried from the choir room, Sebastian staring after him.

End Notes: Thoughts and/or concrit are appreciated and welcome!

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