Feb. 14, 2013, 10:47 a.m.
When you´re feeling empty: Chapter 7
E - Words: 2,633 - Last Updated: Feb 14, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 8/8 - Created: Oct 07, 2012 - Updated: Feb 14, 2013 653 0 0 0 0
Blaine´s head was spinning, his breath coming shortly while he worked his fist over himself.
Pictures of a black suit, perfectly coiffed hair, hands pushing him against a wall, soft moans against his ear. Kurt. All over him, in every part of his brain.
But there was something, no someone, else. No face, just a feeling. It was warm, rushing through his veins making him feel complete.
The combined feeling of pure want for Kurt and this strange emotion of secure- Blaine let out a loud moan as he came all over his hand and against the shower wall. Quickly he pulled the shower head down to wash his cum away, hoping that Claire hasn´t heard a thing.
He hadn´t have an orgasm that powerful for years. What was different?
Andrew. Of course.
The faceless man that had pushed Kurt aside in his memory, was Andrew.
During the last week Andrew had managed to get closer to Blaine then he had imagined to be possible. God he had met him on a website for people who want to cheat- that should tell him everything about Andrew´s personality. But still. He seemed like a really thoughtful guy and Blaine felt like he didn´t wanted to be a cheater that he was just as lost as Blaine.
Maybe they could help each other finding what they need.
Blaine shook his head, as if he could shake of the thoughts screaming in his mind.
Yesterday he thought that Kurt was all he need to feel good again, but these three sentences had shifted something inside of him. Maybe he didn´t needed Kurt to get back his self-esteem, maybe Andrew would be perfectly capable to do the job. They were both free now after all, nothing to hold them back.
“So what are you going to wear tonight?” Claire asked as Blaine walked into the living room, only dressed in his boxer briefs, drying his hair with a towel. “I don´t want to sound old-fashioned, but going half naked to your first date- in a public café- is not really socially accepted.” Blaine threw the towel and his best friend, pulling a face. “It´s not a date, Claire.”
“Of course not. So there is no need for you to run around like a confused puppy.”
“I´m not- Okay maybe. Can you please help me? What should I wear for my not date?”
Claire stood up and tossed the towel back at Blaine while she made her way towards the bedroom.
She had cleaned one half of her closet and a drawer for her best friend. Blaine couldn´t believe how lucky he was that Claire let him stay for so long. Maybe he will finally look through those real estate links she had bookmarked on his laptop, after his meeting with Andrew.
He bit down his smile and followed Claire. He needed to stop pushing his hopes up, maybe Andrew didn’t want to have a relationship just yet. Or maybe he just wanted to be friends with Blaine. Like so many guys before.
—-
Kurt hummed along to the radio while he picked up different trousers and shirts from his closet, holding them up against him, judging himself critically in the mirror.
He had helped Chandler moving out this morning and even though the apartment seemed to be a lot emptier now, Kurt himself felt amazingly fine.
Chandler had sworn that he wasn´t angry, just a bit sad since he still loved Kurt. But he “loved him so much that he couldn´t stand to keep him away from getting happy.” Knowing about Kurt´s affairs for such a long time really had helped him accepting the whole situation.
It would take some time for them to become friends again, but it will work out; Kurt was sure.
And maybe after tonight he will already have someone else who could fill up the empty space.
Kurt´s smile rise even higher, finally deciding on a deep purple shirt and tight black jeans.
He hadn´t even planned on starting something with Oliver, especially after reading his heart breaking mail about his ex-boyfriend.
Yesterday he had suggested the meeting to help him clear his thoughts- to help him get back together with his ex. But this morning Kurt had changed his mind.
He would help Oliver to get over him. Nothing heals a broken heart like having someone new fix it.
—
“I´m going to die.” Blaine hushed into his phone while he walked mindlessly around the small lighthouse that the south street seaport Museum had set up.
There was an endless row of cars pushing down Pearl Street, clouding his mind with gases.
“Calm down, Babe. Is he there yet?” Claire´s voice answered, not helping at all.
“I don´t know! I didn´t made it to the café yet.” He moaned back, eyes flicking around, imagining what Andrew may look like.
“Then move your ass over there and show that cheating bustard that you are worth livelong faith!” “If you call him this one more time I´m not only ending this phone call, but also our friendship.”
“Of course, darling. Now go and get him!” Claire said before she hung up, leaving Blaine alone again with nothing but his fear.
It had been easy to be in a relationship, no need to go out and try to take guys home with you.
What Blaine obviously hadn´t in mind right now. They both needed some time before heading into a new relationship. Obviously.
God he hasn´t even seen Andrew before, it was just this feeling that filled him- it somehow wiped his good sense away.
Blaine pushed his phone into his pocket, combing through his hair with his hand. He could do that. He may not find a new boyfriend today, but he sure will find someone he needs in his life. Blaine took one deep breath and walked around the corner towards the little café they had agreed to meet at.
—
“God, is this your first day? Did you used to work in fucking Ohio? This is New York! I´m late!” Kurt screamed at the Taxi driver, looking down at his phone for the fifth time since he had chosen the slowest Taxi in all of Manhattan. He stared out the window biting his lip nervously. The Brooklyn Bridge was already in sight, but the café was still several blocks away. He should have been there fifteen minutes ago, Oliver probably already left.
“You know what- I´m walking.” He hissed at the driver, tossing not enough money at him and jumped out of the car.
Amazing. This is going to fuck up his hair, make ugly sweat stains and who wants to date someone who shows up like this for their first date? But not showing up at all would be even worse.
As Kurt finally reached the little Lighthouse he was 22 minutes late and indeed his outfit was completely ruined. He took a deep sight and strained his shirt. At least this would make a good story to break the ice. Quickly he made his way to the Café he picked out wisely since it was one of his favorites. As he entered it he was greeted with warmth and the pleasant sound of whispered conversation. Yes, this was a good place to make someone fell in love with you.
Kurt let his eyes wander through the room, taking in several of guys sitting alone. Any of them could be shy boy, maybe they should have sent each other pictures instead of doing the whole “Blind date” thing. Kurt thought he wasn´t there for a second that he had already left given to his lateness, but then he finally found what he was looking for. In the right corner of the Café near the window he could see a man, looking down at his phone and in front of him a copy of the latest Vogue, the sign they had agreed on. Kurt smile returned as he started to walk towards the table, only to stop a second later as the man lifted his head and looked out the window. It was Blaine.
___
“He is still not here” Blaine typed into his phone, looking up quickly to smile at the waitress that placed a coffee in front of him. It was his third and the waitresses smile got more and more pitifully with every one of them.
But Andrew would come. Maybe he had missed a train, or someone from work had called.
He will show up.
His phone buzzed and Blaine didn´t even need to look to know it´s another text from Claire, telling him to leave because he is worth more than this.
The clock above the bar was ticking restlessly; reminding him that he may be blown off. But Andrew seemed to be so nice and while they talked about their meeting he seemed to be excited, too. He would never do this. Right?
His coffee was empty again and another messages from Claire told him that he waited for nearly 40 minutes now.
Yeah, maybe Andrew wouldn´t come.
__
Kurt hadn´t even noticed that he was walking, but he suddenly found himself at the South Ferry Hall.
Blaine was Oliver.
Oliver who had just told him about how much his first boyfriend had broken his heart.
Oliver who had seen said boyfriend in a club and noticed that he still wasn´t over him.
Oliver who Kurt had fallen for, only by texting.
Oliver was Blaine and Kurt didn´t know how to deal with it.
He stopped walking, standing in front of the Hudson River, surrounded by tourists.
What should he do about it? Delete Oliver´s- no Blaine´s number, delete all his mails and texts? Or should he call him, give Blaine the opportunity he lung for, after all this years, give him the chance to apologize?
Kurt flicked out his phone. Blaine was waiting for 40 minutes now.
His best friend had probably talked some sense into him and he had left.
Kurt would send him a Text, excusing himself and then he would never talk to Blaine again. Just like he had planned back then.
As he opens his text messenger he couldn´t stop himself from scrolling up, reading through their conversation. In between all the drama with Chandler and Blaine´s fiancé, whoever that had been, they had sent each other so many texts, little words of encouragement, they had been the highlights of Kurt´s day.
And the Mails Blaine had sent him. The way he had described his feelings.
Kurt had read his confession and had noticed how badly he wanted the words to be for him.
And they were.
Blaine had never stopped thinking about him, even imagined him by his side instead of his fiancé. Blaine believed that Kurt was his soul mate. He never loved someone else.
He had tried to tell him back then, but Kurt never let him.
What if he had? Would they be still together? Would their life turn out to be like Blaine had imagined?
Was it too late to find out if it could?
——
Blaine pulled the café door open and was greeted with a cold breeze. How fitting.
The day started out beautiful, but now everything seemed to just go downhill.
Why did he even think there might be a chance that someone who wasn´t an asshole shows interest in him?
He just lifted his hand to get a taxi as his phone vibrated again.
“I´m really sorry, something at work happened. How about you meet me at the big fountain in Battery Park? A.” Blaine couldn´t help but let out a relieved laugh. So Andrew did want to meet him after all.
The car stopped after a short ride and Blaine thanked the driver several times before jumping out and quickly making his way towards the fountain. What will he look like? What will his voice sound like? He noticed how he walked even faster, not even trying to hold back his excitement.
Finally he reached the meeting point, eyes nervously wandering through the mass of people that filled the place. How should he find Andrew? He could be any of those people, maybe that guy over there at the bench, or the one across from him who was looking at the water-
“Blaine.” A voice behind him appeared and Blaine turned around as quickly as possible.
His mind had to play a trick on him. This definitely wasn´t Kurt standing in front of him, clenching the latest Vogue to his chest.
“I hoped that you haven´t left yet.”
“What do you mean- Kurt, I thought I would never meet you again and now you just stand in front of me and act like you were accepting to see me here? I´m confused- Oh, did Andrew brought you here, no that´s not possible he didn´t know your name.”
Kurt smiled and gripped Blaine´s arm causing him to stop babbling.
“Blaine, I am Andrew.”
The smaller man´s eyes widened in shock as it hit him who he had talked to all the time.
“But that´s not your name and you never said anything that could make me believe that you are- you. And are you seriously married and did you really cheat on him? Kurt is this my fault, did the way I treated you changed your opinion on love. I´m really sorry.”
“Blaine you are doing it again. Please just stop talking for a second, okay?”
Blaine nodded and let Kurt lead him towards a bench. He still could believe that the actual Kurt Hummel was standing before him. He looked as good as always with his dark jeans and purple shirt. He must have chosen this outfit to meet Oliver. He wanted to impress him.
“I was at the café earlier. I´m sorry for letting you wait there, but I think you understand how shocked I was, right?” Kurt began, eyebrows raised, obviously waiting for a reaction so Blaine forced himself to nod, still to confused to form words.
“But then I ended up here and I was having a breakdown. I´m not going to lie, I wanted to just stop contact with you. Again. Just like I did back in school. I already planned the text in my head, but then I reread everything you wrote to Andrew and the stuff you wrote about our break up and how you feel for me. Blaine, when I received your email describing your feelings it was the turning point for telling Chandler about what I did- Yes I know, he was there, he was nice, don´t judge me.” Kurt quickly said as he saw Blaine´s mouth open.
“As I already told you during our messages, I didn´t want to cheat on him. It was just that I felt something was missing and it wasn´t until you returned to my life that I noticed what it was. God Blaine, I know that I misused Chandler´s trust and I would understand if you chose to not give me a chance because of this, but it would mean the world to me if you tried to.”
Kurt bit his lip, looking up at Blaine again, pure hope in his eyes.
Blaine had imagined this conversation over and over, but it never had Kurt apologizing towards him.
“Okay, maybe we should go back to the café and stop talking about broken relationship, but about what we missed from each other? That´s what we both had planned for today after all. And I want to show a waitress that I wasn´t blown off.” Blaine said and smiled at Kurt and stood up, offering his hand towards him to help him up.
“I would love to.” Kurt said as he took it.