Aug. 25, 2013, 12:30 a.m.
Without My Wings: Chapter 40
E - Words: 1,881 - Last Updated: Aug 25, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 50/? - Created: Jul 09, 2013 - Updated: Aug 25, 2013 167 0 0 0 0
Exactly three weeks after Burt had woken Kurt was stood in a smart, plain suit that had been picked out for him. He spun around as Kate instructed, frowning to himself in the large folded mirror beside him.
"You look nice," Kate insisted, walking forward and adjusting the Prince's tie.
"I look dull and bored," Kurt corrected, fingering over the simple black hem.
"I think you look handsome," Kate tried again, stepping back and tilting her head to the side.
"This isn't me." Kurt frowned again, shook his head and turned away from his reflection, "Everything's just wrong. I'm getting married tomorrow and I'm going to be wearing the exact same suit my husband will be wearing that's been picked out by his parents. Me and Sky are already merging into one person in the eyes of the kingdom. I've had no say in anything. Not the music, the venue, the theme or even the flowers. This isn't my wedding. I feel like a little girl is planning a wedding with her dolls, and I'm the Barbie."
"Kurt...," Kate's face pulled down, "I'm sorry," She walked forward and cupped the Prince's face softly.
"And Blaine's avoiding me."
"What? No, I'm sure he's just..."
"I've seen him once in two weeks," Kurt replied gravely, "I don't know what's going on between us, and both of us are too scared to work it out. Everything's happening way, way too fast. All of this is just a horrible blur, I'm drowning in all this."
"Why don't you talk to your Dad about it then?" Kate asked.
Kurt shook his head, "I can't. He's been so happy recently. I can't even remember a time when he was smiling this much, I caught him singing yesterday."
Kate frowned, "Kurt, if he knew that you were unhappy..."
"But he doesn't. And he's not going to," Kurt looked at her pointedly, "The sooner this thing is over the quicker I can work everything out...but don't weddings usually take longer to plan than this?"
"Being King kinda makes all the services battle to be involved, imagine how popular they'll be if they were good enough for the Royal wedding," Kate pointed out.
Kurt sighed and roughly pulled off his tie.
xoxoxox
"Why?"
"It's hard."
"For you or for him?"
"Both of us."
"And not seeing him at all isn't?"
"Well, yeah but..."
"I'm fed up of you hanging around with a grumpy expression, just go and see him. Now. Get out. You're not allowed back in here until you've spoken to him..."
"But Kath I haven't even eaten yet..."
"You can eat with him if you're quick. Go get him Blainers," Kathy grinned, pushing Blaine out of the doors of the slavery and closing them quickly behind him.
Blaine sighed, his stomach growling and set off in search of food. He didn't want to see or talk about Kurt's wedding, and he didn't want to talk about what it would be like for him and Kurt after he got married. He knew what would happen. Absolutely nothing. Blaine would be forgotten. Just another dusty brick of the hundreds of thousands that rose this huge Palace from the ground.
He still had the historic magic book under his pillow, and he still flicked through it every evening until Kathy threatened his life if he didn't turn off his light and go to damn bed. He'd only had one lead that came to a spectacular dead end, and he'd been through the book at least once. The only problem was that there was simply too much information to take in. It would take a skilled magician years to decode all of the spells and outcomes, and Blaine had no idea about anything. Most of the spells were in tiny scribbled font all over the pages with no real order or system, and ninety percent of the time Blaine had no idea what he was reading about. He was starting to doubt if the guy who wrote it knew what he was writing about.
"Blaine Anderson."
A small but firm hand wrapped around Blaine's upper arm and he jumped for a second before he realized who the hand belonged to.
"Kate? What's...Ouch," He winced as the grip on his arm tightened and he was steered in the direction of the kitchens.
"What's this I hear about you avoiding, Kurt?" She demand, her eyes a blaze and Blaine swallowed heavily before he answered.
"I'm not avoiding him. He's just busy and I don't want to put anymore pressure on him then there already is." Lying through his teeth.
Kate wasn't fooled, "Don't make me shaved those pretty curls of yours straight off."
Blaine's eyes widened, "Kate, what the...?"
Kate froze in her tracks, causing Blaine to give an awkward jolt as he pulled backwards by their joined limbs.
"Urgh, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you...Well I am, but that's not why I said that. Kurt practically feels like he's sold his soul to the devil, but he refuses to tell anyone but me because he doesn't have you to talk to. I know this whole situation is crap and none of us are sure what's going to happen between you or Kurt or anything...but it's going to happen, no matter if you avoid it completely or not," Kate looked him firmly between the eyes, "Now please just go and sit with him. You don't have to even talk. Just let him know you're still here. Okay?"
Blaine let out a sharp breath and nodded, "Okay," he agreed, feeling foolish and childish that Kate had been able to see what he was trying to do before he even knew it himself. This is what it had all been about. For some reason he'd got it into his head that if he avoided Kurt it wouldn't happen. But now it was time to grow-up and work out what the hell was going on.
"Want me to walk you over?" Kate offered, her voice a lot softer and with a hint of sweetness to her smile.
"No, it's okay. I don't want him to think that you forced me to talk to him," Blaine shook his head and ran a hand through is curls, "I'm nervous, why am I nervous?"
Kate laughed lightly, "You'll be fine. Talk to you later."
"Okay," Blaine swallowed and waved at her before turning and walking back in the direction of the kitchens.
xoxoxox
Kurt sighed and pushed his porridge around his bowl with the spoon. It had long gone cold and was now forming a pale, stiff gray mush at the bottom of the dish but Kurt wasn't hungry. He wasn't anything apart from exhausted.
"Hey, is it okay if I eat with you?"
Kurt's head snapped up from his bowl and his mouth opened and closed a few times before he nodded, "Y-Yeah."
Blaine smiled, "Okay, I'll be right back."
When the Slave returned with a plate of toast and a glass of orange juice Kurt hadn't moved. He was still staring willingly at the door.
"I miss you," Kurt said as soon as Blaine sat down beside him with his breakfast.
Blaine turned to look at him and saw Kurt was still staring at the abyss in the bottom of his bowl like he'd never spoken, but his cheeks were a slightly darker shade of pink.
"I miss you too," Blaine replied, looking away and sipping his juice, his body sighing at the fresh sweetness as well as the presence of Kurt.
Kurt sat back in his chair, pushing his bowl of lumpy oats away and picking up a mug instead.
Blaine's nose screwed up a little at the scent coming from the cup that was cradled in the Prince's hands, "Is that tea?"
Kurt looked at him for a second in surprise, "Oh...yeah. I've started drinking it in the morning," he shrugged and took a sip before holding the warm china to his chest and licking his pink lips.
"Oh," Blaine frowned and also sat back in his seat, "Anything else that's new?"
Kurt paused, chewing his bottom lip until it darkened in color, "Er...I got new slippers."
Blaine's face broke out with a grin, "Really?"
Kurt hummed an affirmative and pushed his chair back from the dinning table so his feet were exposed, "What do you think?"
Blaine blinked a few times, "It's looks like there's a dead animal sown to your feet."
Kurt let out an exaggerated gasp, "How dare you? These are made of the finest fur in the kingdom I'll have you know!"
Blaine giggled for a second before he stopped, "Wait is that real fur?"
"What? No," Kurt shook his head and tucked his chair back under, making another grab for his mug, "Of course not."
Blaine smiled to himself as he ate a slice of toast and Kurt sipped his warm drink in a comfortable silence.
"I heard you got your suit," Blaine informed him, hoping to get Kurt to open up to him.
Kurt's form went stiff beside him, "Yes."
"I bet you look handsome."
"It's the exact same one he'll be wearing."
Suddenly it there was an unspoken rule that Sky's name would not be spoken between them.
"You'll look better in it," Blaine flattered, doing his best to smile but he could feel his mood edging closer to the edge of the cliff.
Kurt smiled at him unconvincingly, "You're biased."
"You're beautiful."
Kurt bit his lip, his eyes turning wet as he looked back down to the cup that was suddenly being gripped in a vice between his palms.
"Hey, Kurt...," Blaine cooed softly and inched his chair closer to the Prince's, "Come on, the suit can't be that bad."
"Not the suit," Kurt mumbled, fat round tears rolling down his cheeks and splashing into the mug beneath them.
"I feel like doll being dressed up and styled and...," Kurt shook his head, "I just have no control."
Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulder's, "It's okay, I'm here, I'm always here."
Kurt took a few huge, shuddering breathes; trying to keep control.
He gave up.
Blaine's eyes widened for a second as Kurt lunged at him, the mug of tea and salty tears being thrown onto the carpet as the Prince wrapped his arms around the Slaves neck and sobbed freely.
Blaine whispered and hummed in his ear, rocking the Prince slowly in his arms until Kurt collapsed against him. Rung out and exhausted.
"It's just two words. Two words and I don't...I don't know if I'm going to be able to get them out. Even thinking about them makes my throat get tight and heart hurts and..."
"What words are you talking about?" Blaine frowned, confused.
"I...I...I do," Kurt spat, hiding in Blaine's shoulder still.
"Can you say it to me?" The slave asked gently.
"What?"
"To me, does your throat get tight when you say it to me?"
Kurt lent back, his cheeks red and his eyes watery and sore from crying. His sad eyes looked directly into Blaine's and he spoke, "I do," without a moments hesitation.
Blaine smiled, "Problem solved. Just pretend you're saying them to me."
"I wish I was saying it to you."
"Me too. Me too."