Chapter Nineteen

Blaine sighed, closed his eyes and leaned against the back of the lift. The past six hours had been a blur. His song had been more than well received, not just from the immediate audience but also from the media and popular culture commentaries who had also managed to get their hands on it. It had only been played once, but it was already the talk of the town and the airwaves were now abuzz with the topic of Blaine Anderson's new sound.

They were describing it as fresh, mature, daring and sophisticated. Blaine Anderson had been bold, had shared his softer side, and people loved it. Sebastian had been wrong. Instead of shying away and turning their backs on Blaine, his fans had welcomed the new sound. Apparently men and women found Blaine's softer, romantic side just as compelling and sexy as his rocker side. It was only one song, but Blaine was hopeful. It was a positive start in a new direction.

His fingers drummed impatiently over the railing behind him as the lift continued to rise to his floor. There was only one problem. Since he had released himself from Santana's hug after walking off stage, he had been catapulted from one person to another. The VMAs had continued, finished, and throughout the after party - which he had desperately tried to get out of - people had been vying for Blaine's attention, trying to get their word in, to get an interview, to give him their congratulations, or to simply get his photo. And while he knew that that was to be expected, Blaine had not been able to escape, he had not been able to stop.

No, he lied.

There had been an instant where he had stopped. Where, across the busy venue when people had been filling the dance floor, Blaine had locked gazes with Hunter and Sebastian. He was sure that Hunter wanted to stride across the room and knock him flat, and that it was only Sebastian who was preventing him from doing so. Blaine wasn't worried if he did, he could easily take Hunter if he had to.

It was Sebastian who Blaine knew he had to be concerned about, and it was his snarling glare that had made Blaine come to a halt. It was a glare that was vying for revenge and retaliation. Sebastian's vengeance would not be like Hunter's; it would be cunning, calculating, and callous.

Sebastian was not a stupid man. He knew that Blaine's attitude had shifted, that he had been coerced by no one other than Kurt. He was also clever and smart enough to know that any unchecked, public anger would only fuel Blaine's success that evening and only put Sebastian into a negative light. Sebastian had to play it smart. If he played his cards right, he could come out as the good guy. He could tell people that he had told Blaine to wait for the perfect time to declare his love for this mystery man, that he had been aware and eager for Blaine to reveal his other side. He had just wanted Blaine to do it while the whole nation was watching so they could fall in love with Blaine all over again and be swooned by his romanticism. Yes, Sebastian would take a step back, smile, shake hands and pretend that he had known all along, but later Blaine and he were going to talk.

Blaine had knocked back his drink, his knuckles turning white and his grip tightening on his glass. It had taken every last bit of strength that he had had in his body to stop himself from racing across the dance floor and confronting Sebastian. He had still not said one word to the man since he had discovered what he had done regarding Kurt.

"Not here, Blaine," Santana had whispered in his ear, just in case he needed to be reminded, and for a moment, he did need to be. "Not here." He knew that Santana was right, but his skin had still crawled as he watched Sebastian laugh and chat with the other partygoers. Blaine had pushed his anger back down, swallowing the large lump of it that had formed in the back of his throat and had focused his attentions on what was more important. Kurt, he had to make himself available just in case Kurt wanted to show.

Blaine glanced at his phone as the lift doors opened. The only problem was Blaine still didn't know what Kurt thought of it. Blaine had tried to stay optimistic but it was hard. Two hours ago he had finally received a text from Rachel and all it had said was, 'Give him time, Blaine. Give him time.' Blaine didn't know what to make of her words. It gave no indication of whether it was good or bad news. He had left the after party three hours earlier and he had tried to wait patiently in the hotel's bar, his body poised in the direction of the hotel's entrance waiting, waiting, waiting... but it was to no avail: Kurt had never showed.

Even if Kurt was moved by his performance, who was to say that he would seek Blaine out straightaway anyway? Blaine sighed, filled with despair. If Kurt didn't contact him he would just quit performing all together and become a lyricist instead. Or maybe he would become a hermit, and hide from society all together. But just how long should he wait?

Blaine entered his hotel room refusing to turn on the lights. It was dark and somber, just how he wanted it to be. At least it looked like the weather was going to finally match his mood, he mused. He tossed his room card on the dresser as he went past, and thrust his hands deep into his pockets.

For once the clouds were hanging low in the sky, the bright spotlights outside the hotel disappearing into the mist above his head. The clouds looked surreal and end-of-worldly, a blanket of darkness waiting to smother the city below. Blaine scoffed to himself. It might as well be the end of the world for all he cared. The one person who he had intended to grab had been the only person who appeared to be not affected.

Blaine tried to swallow down a surge of regret and disappointment. He slid out of his shoes, kicking them off into the corner and continued to gaze out of the window, the echoes of another song edging their way into the back of his head, inspired by the omnipresent view. Blaine closed his eyes letting the new melody form.

"You've never been one to do something half-half, are you?"

Blaine's head snapped up, his eyes flashing open. He spun on his heels and his breath caught in his throat.

He blinked twice frantically, and his eyes went wide. He had to be dreaming, for there, only a short distance away, was Kurt poised in the chaise chair, his legs crossed with one arm delicately resting on the armrest to support his head. He was elegant, calm and there was almost a magical quality to him as the spotlights from outside illuminated his skin. He didn't look at Blaine, and instead gazed out of the window, and in his regal outfit, it was like he was from a different time period all together.

"Looks like there will be quite a storm," Kurt spoke again, and as if in agreement the sky gave a low rumble.

Blaine's eyes flicked to the windows and he cursed the clouds. He hoped the thunder wasn't a warning. He looked back to Kurt and dared to speak.

"I think you're right." Blaine took a hesitant step closer. "Did you..."

"Just tell me one thing," Kurt spoke coolly, cutting him off, "Did you really mean it? Was it really intended for me?"

Blaine swallowed nervously before answering, "Yes."

The silence after his answer was unbearable and suffocating. He wondered if he should have elaborated more, for Blaine caught Kurt's jaw clench in anger. He didn't realize that it was Kurt fighting against the contradicting and clashing emotions that were raging through him.

Kurt suddenly turned in the seat and their eyes locked. Blaine froze and his body flooded with disappointment because in the sharpness of Kurt's gaze there wasn't any hint or sign of the unyielding, confirmed love that he had wished and hoped to feel. Instead, in those eyes, in their icy, blue glare, Blaine felt fear. They resonated with coldness and determination. Just what kind of determination, Blaine was afraid to find out, and just when he thought Kurt was going to speak, he didn't. Instead, Kurt rose to his feet as if he wanted a better sight of the view outside the window.

Another silence dragged between them. Blaine watched him. In fact, he wouldn't have been able to take his eyes off Kurt's slender body even if he had tried. He thought he had memorized every slight curve and edge of Kurt's body, but there in flesh and blood, Blaine was left breathless at Kurt's perfection. How could he have forgotten how long Kurt's slender neck was? How could he have forgotten how perfectly the dip in Kurt's lower back fell before the skin rose to crest over the curve of his buttocks? How could he have forgotten how quickly the features of Kurt's skin could flicker to sadness and disenchantment? Blaine gulped guiltily. No doubt he was responsible for Kurt's anguish.

"How do you expect me to take something like that?" Kurt suddenly said softly shaking his head, his gaze still fixated on the view.

Blaine swallowed uncomfortably before he answered. "It was just meant to be something romantic, a gesture, something to get your attention."

"Don't you get it, Blaine?"

There was an awkward pause. Blaine could sense it; Kurt's body language, the tone of his voice, his inability to face Blaine head on in case he changed his mind. Blaine thought frantically as to what he should say. There had to be something that he could do, now that Kurt was standing right before him. He couldn't screw this up, not when he was so close.

"Kurt, I...I'm sor..."

Kurt suddenly turned angrily to face Blaine and the look on his face was enough to stop Blaine in his tracks before he could apologize. "I've been trying to move on," Kurt spoke harshly. "I've been trying to be with someone else. I've been trying to forget you. Do you know how hard that is?" Kurt stepped closer and a short, sharp laugh escaped his lips. "Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? We only spent one weekend together Blaine, one weekend! But I still fell in love with you!"

Blaine gasped. "You fell in love with me?"

Kurt stopped shocked. He hadn't expected those words to come out, but they had, easily, fluidly, they were words that his heart had formed without his control. They were words that had escaped his soul because his soul knew, his soul knew before Kurt did. He hadn't been able to say them to Kevin, but to Blaine, they had flown right out on their own whim.

Kurt quickly turned his back on Blaine. He hadn't wanted to put his emotions on such display, to put them out there when his heart was still so fragile while he was trying to come to terms with them. He took several deep breaths and tried to regain some control but before he could, he spun back to face Blaine again, his face twisted in anger and pain. "I'm not like you, Blaine. I'm not like you at all. I can't jump from one person to another or jump in and out of love so easily." Kurt continued, "I was close to getting over you, but you think you can waltz back into my life by talking to my friends as if nothing had happened? You expect me to throw caution to the wind, drop everything and run back into your arms just because of a song?"

Blaine was speechless, unable to defend himself because Kurt was right, very right. But Blaine had had his reasons. "Kurt," Blaine dared to take a step closer to him again. "It wasn't like that. I needed to make contact with you somehow. I wanted to let you know that Sebastian and I, we're not together, honestly. We haven't been together for a good couple of years and..."

Kurt silenced him with another vicious glare.

Kurt didn't want to hear anything about Sebastian.

They stood silently, awkwardly, emotionally wrought, and both very much full of need.

Blaine finally braved to speak again. "I meant every word Kurt, I really did, I..."

Kurt suddenly raced forward and he was unable to stop the tears that had started to form in his eyes. "You just can't do that to someone! I took a chance on you. I let you in. I pretended that I was over what had happened to me in New York, but really I had lost any chance of trusting anyone." He clenched his fists, his shoulders knotted. "But I trusted you. I trusted you and I shared myself with you, God damn it! I thought you opened yourself to me and shared yourself with me too!"

"I did, Kurt! I did!" Blaine cried grabbing Kurt's hands within his. Blaine started to panic. Even though he was now within arm's reach of holding Kurt and he held Kurt's hands, he felt like he was losing, like he never even had a chance. Kurt had arrived with only one plan in mind and that was to tell Blaine to leave him alone, that he was indeed too late. Kurt, he feared, had already slipped through his fingers.

Blaine had to do something else, something drastic. His mind raced, struggling to find something powerful or evocative to win Kurt over one last time but his head went blank.

Kurt lowered his head ashamed of the tears that had started to streak down his face. "I didn't even get the chance to tell you how I felt because you took it all away from me before I could."

Blaine took a chance and before he could stop himself he suddenly swept in. He cupped Kurt's face and kissed him hard. Kurt startled and his body went rigid, but then Blaine felt it, the surrender. Kurt's undeniable inability to resist his feelings any longer. Blaine dared to step closer, allowing their bodies to meet and he continued with his kiss. It was slow, cautious, not wanting to scare Kurt away, wanting only to remind him of how it had felt. But then, all of a sudden, Kurt's hands came up to Blaine's chest and he pushed Blaine hard sending him across the room.

Blaine floundered holding his hands up in surprise. "I'm sorry, you said that you loved me, I was overcome, I..."

"Gosh Blaine, what are you doing? Why would you go to such lengths? What do you want?" Kurt wiped some of the tears away with the back of his hand. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I love you too!" Blaine cried exasperated.

Kurt stared at him in shock, Blaine's words slowly forming meaning in his head. His heart began to pound in his chest as Blaine's words sunk in.

Blaine loved him too...

Kurt pounced. He closed the distance between them in a flash, crashed their bodies together, and sent Blaine into the wall at his back from the force of his actions. He wanted to know if it was all true. He wanted to know if it still felt right. Did it still matter when he had Blaine flush against his body? Because it mattered when Blaine said he loved him.

They held onto each other fervently, lost in the new memory they were creating for each other, lost in the breathlessness of having their bodies touch again, of having their lips against each other and of having their hands cling desperately onto each other's bodies. They were both afraid, afraid that if they let go, the other would disappear and they would open their eyes and discover that it had all been a dream.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt! I'm so sorry," Blaine gushed in between their kisses. "I didn't know what else to do. I just wanted to see you again, to speak to you again. When I realized what Sebastian had done, I..."

Kurt suddenly pulled back panting, trying to catch his breath. He swiftly and firmly placed a finger over Blaine's lips, the mere faint touch of Kurt's fingertip preventing Blaine from saying anything else.

"Shhh," Kurt hushed tenderly. "I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to speak anymore. I feel mentally exhausted from all the talking I have done today, and as much as I am overcome with anger and awe at what you've done, I don't want to hear your excuses, not tonight." Kurt glanced down clearing his thoughts. "No one has ever done anything like that for me before, the song," Kurt continued looking back up at Blaine, their breaths hot on each other's faces. "I want to be so angry with you. You've really turned my world upside down, I don't know which way is up or which way is down..."

"I really am sorry Kurt, I just wanted..."

"Don't speak," Kurt requested gently shaking his head. He took a moment, closing his eyes while he tried to settle his shaky and uncertain breath, but when Kurt opened his eyes again, Blaine could see the shift in his gaze. "I'm going to let you have this night," Kurt began, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "and I'm going to let myself have this night, because try as I might Blaine, I still long for you. I still need you."

Blaine's heart pounded in his chest.

"I don't want to think about the consequences," Kurt continued as he began to pull on Blaine's shirt. "I don't want to think about tomorrow or what tonight could possibly mean. I don't want to think about any of it." Kurt's hand slowly trailed down Blaine's chest and Blaine shivered at the feel. "I'm sick and tired of thinking." Kurt paused and looked Blaine in the eye. "I just want to feel. I want to feel you."

"Okay," Blaine breathed. He could accept that, that tonight might not hold all the answers but it would still bring them together.

Kurt took a step back and held his hand out, and struck by amazement that this was really going to happen, Blaine paused before nodding his head. He placed his hand within Kurt's and allowed Kurt to lead him to the other side of the room towards the bed. Blaine closed his eyes for a second and tried to compose himself at the sudden rush of excitement that raged through his body.

Dreams really did come true after all.

In the past it had all been Blaine's game, Blaine's lead in the bedroom, but tonight Blaine realized, it was going to be Kurt. He wondered if this was how Kurt had felt when Blaine had seduced him to his bed. Kurt had been assertive before, at the party when they had first ever had sex. He had led Blaine away just like now, but it had been Blaine who had taken the lead when they had taken their clothes off.

Tonight was going to be different. It was Kurt who guided Blaine where he wanted him on the bed. It was Kurt who teased Blaine's skin with his tongue, and it was Kurt who silenced Blaine's continuing soft pleas for forgiveness with long, lingering kisses. Kurt had meant what he had said: He didn't want to hear it. All Kurt wanted to do was release the frustrations that had consumed him. He had so many conflicted feelings towards the man; anger, disbelief, love, respect, and they were twisting, contorting themselves into a mad ray of confusion, stressing him out and winding him up.

He wanted to feel Blaine's hunger for him as well though, to have Blaine's body tell Kurt that he loved him in a way that only sex could when other ways were not possible, when too much unvented want existed. But underneath it all, there was the love, the love that he had for Blaine that he wanted to share. Three months ago they had wanted to connect in this way and they hadn't been able to. Tonight might not be the romantic or tender way they had both envisaged but neither was going to be left unsatisfied both emotionally and physically.

"Just go slowly at first," Blaine spoke when they broke away from a kiss, Kurt's naked, damp skin peeling off Blaine's as he moved back. "It's been a while since anyone has..."

Kurt nodded and tried to hide the fact that what Blaine had just said had made his excitement increase tenfold. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you tonight," he whispered cupping Blaine's chin between his thumb and forefinger, gazing down at him with lust filled eyes.

Kurt gently eased his way in, taking his time allowing himself to go deeper and deeper. He stopped halfway allowing Blaine to relax, his breath concentrated as he welcomed the feel of Kurt. Feeling Blaine settle, Kurt went further, watching all the while as Blaine closed his eyes and released a soft gasp. Kurt squeezed Blaine's arm. He could feel Blaine's muscles gently pressing down around him, exploring him and getting used to his presence. Kurt wasn't going to rush him but after seeing Blaine completely relax, he gently started to rock, his hips rolling comfortably.

It had been such a long time since Blaine had allowed anyone to take him. It was almost a protective measure, to not allow anyone to enter him as if the mere act would allow someone to discover who he truly was, that under everything he wasn't really that hard core rocker indeed. But Kurt was different. Blaine wanted Kurt to know him and he wanted Kurt inside of him, he wanted to be vulnerable under Kurt's touch, wanted it more than anything else.

Blaine moaned softly as Kurt gently increased his pace. He gazed up at Kurt with a mixture of adoration and passion. While he had loved fucking Kurt, Kurt was certainly an expert in returning the favor. Kurt held him securely and strongly as he set his pace, all the while gently rubbing Blaine's sides and muttering sweet endearments that tickled Blaine's ears. It was so comforting to be taken care of for a change.

It didn't take long before Blaine's hands were grasping into the sheets on either side of him, twisting them around tightly in his hold, his head wrenched right back exposing the muscles in his neck. It also wasn't helping that Blaine hadn't had sex in over three months. He was definitely in new territory, not having bottomed in a long time, and the loss of his usual sexual stamina, he feared he was not going to last long at all.

Kurt seemed to pick up on his distress and he reached down to clasp Blaine's hand. He took it, brought it up to his mouth and placed a delicate kiss on the back of his hand as he pushed inside with more force.

"Just let yourself go," Kurt managed.

Kurt changed his position and brought his body down so their faces were just inches apart, their eyes locked. He tangled one hand through Blaine's hair and used his other to support his weight, his breath hot on Blaine's neck. "You feel amazing," Kurt whispered into his ear, "So tight, so warm." Blaine merely moaned and wrapped his legs and arms around Kurt's torso.

"Don't stop," he begged, turning his head to kiss Kurt on the lips, quick and jolty, open mouthed and messy. "Please don't stop."

"I'm going too soon, I don't want you to come," Kurt replied as he continued to rock, now moving slowly again, enjoying the way Blaine squirmed beneath him as he teased. "I'm going to pull out and then you're going to touch me, and then, I'm going to ride you for a while."

"Fuck!" Blaine gasped. Kurt's words alone were enough to pull him right to the brink.

Kurt gave Blaine a devilish wink. "Let me know when you're getting close," he said, and he leaned back up and placed his hands on Blaine's knees. Kurt suddenly increased his pace.

"Kurt!" Blaine cried out. He looked up at Kurt again. "I can't believe you're..." but Blaine couldn't finish his sentence the pleasurable sensations in his body increasing too fast.

It only got more intense. Kurt rebalanced his weight over Blaine freeing one of his hands. He took Blaine in his hand and started to stroke over him in time with his thrusts. It was only a few moments later that Blaine threw the pillow free. "Okay, okay," he panted. "You've got to stop, I'm getting..." He was too late. Blaine came hard, yelping while his orgasm snapped and his ass clenched sporadically and tightly around Kurt. It was a sharp and intense orgasm one that whipped his head back and forth, his groan breaking and unsteady.

Kurt eyed him with slight surprise, but impressed by the sight of Blaine's cum that was now splattered over both of their chests, he gently reached out and stroked Blaine's sweaty face and for the first time since he entered the hotel room, Kurt's humorous and witty side showed itself. "Well, that was a bit quicker than expected," he teased softly. "Usually you reserve this question for me, but for a laugh, been a long time has it?"

Blaine smiled sheepishly, "Actually, yes."

"Hmm?" Kurt stopped moving all together in surprise. "What? Are you serious? What happened to the Blaine who was bent on world domination by the time he was thirty?"

Blaine shook his head while he spoke still trying to catch his breath, "It doesn't matter Kurt. We'll talk about it later. Just keep going."

Kurt looked at him almost slyly, "If you say so." He swirled his fingers in Blaine's chest, trailing Blaine's cum down until it began to pool inside his belly button. "I hope you don't mind but I'm going to be able to keep going for a little while."

Blaine chuckle was short, still out of breath, "I don't mind, I don't mind at all."

Blaine was soon at the complete mercy of Kurt. He moaned and withered underneath him, completely mind blown and mesmerized. Kurt had set out at a new pace, one that was steady and created a brutal friction that left Blaine gasping. That was only until Kurt twisted Blaine's body slightly onto his side and threw one of Blaine's legs over his shoulder. He leaned forward pushing Blaine's leg down close to Blaine's chest, and positioned his hands on either side of Blaine's body. He grunted softly from the exertion and only paused slightly when Blaine suddenly twitched and jerked again. There was no cum this time, but it was enough for Blaine's muscles to clench around Kurt for a second time, for his face to freeze in pleasure, and for his vocal chords to lock preventing any sound from being released. Whether it was a full orgasm, Kurt didn't know, but the mere sight of Blaine completely falling apart beneath him had suddenly brought Kurt to the edge.

"Fuck, Blaine. You looked wrecked," Kurt spoke breathlessly. He changed position again sliding out of Blaine and scooting towards the end of the bed so he could stand. Kurt wrapped his arms underneath Blaine and with one surprisingly easy tug he dragged Blaine's sex exhausted body towards him.

Blaine started speaking again, but it was more like a stream of merciful babbling as his body continued to take Kurt's thrusts that were only increasing in speed and intensity. "God, fuck, Kurt, fuck, just fuck, just..."

Kurt was ready to let it all out, to let all the tension, anger and stress become free. He increased the movement of his hips even more, so hard that Blaine was no longer able to form words and instead only short, begging yelps escaped his mouth. Kurt had never seen Blaine so broken, so vulnerable, or so free.

Kurt's orgasm suddenly snapped, forcing him to a stop as he came hard. He would usually try to keep thrusting through his orgasm but this one was so intense and so strong, he could only freeze and allow it to take its course. Kurt cried out, a harsh long cry that filled the room, and with it, everything was released. Every hurtful, desperate, angry and spiteful feeling that Kurt had experienced and endured over the past three months left his body.

He hung over Blaine waiting for the intense feelings to subside and for his body to drain of its sexual energy. A lone bead of sweat trailed down the side of his face and onto his chin while he tried to steady his breathing. It dropped and landed on Blaine's stomach joining the swirled mess that was already nearly dry on his chest. And during the whole time, throughout their panting, and gasps and stammered words of incredulity, their eyes remained locked.

Blaine stared up at Kurt in unadulterated wonder. He had another hint of an orgasm when Kurt had finally come, his body involuntarily clasping around Kurt's dick when he had felt him twitch and pulsate. He was also blown away however by witnessing Kurt completely letting go, of seeing him free and beautiful as his body froze and his mind stilled in the midst of his orgasm. He reached up and stroked Kurt's arms, and Kurt managed a faint but distant smile.

Blaine frowned as Kurt remained silent, still hovering over his body. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Are you still mad?"

Kurt's laughed gently, clearly amused, "No, Blaine. I'm not mad."

He pushed himself up completely now that he could trust his legs to support himself and not give out on him entirely when he tried to move. Kurt stood back up and climbed up and over Blaine's body, his face more relaxed but his facial expression was still closed off. They stared, just stared into each other's eyes until Blaine, feeling uncharacteristically exposed from the hesitations he saw in Kurt's eyes, braved to speak.

"I'm almost too afraid to go clean up in case you have disappeared when I come out," Blaine whispered fearfully, lifting his arm to hold Kurt's face. Kurt closed his eyes at the feel of his touch but Blaine still caught the slight hint of the frown that rustled over Kurt's features. He was struggling inside. Kurt didn't know whether he would disappear or not either. Blaine watched him with anticipation, at a loss as to what Kurt was going to do or what he was going to say next.

"Just lay with me, Blaine," Kurt spoke eventually, easing his body down to lie in the crook of Blaine's arm and chest. "Just lay with me here, skin on skin."