Kurt was exhausted when he returned to his apartment that night after finishing the last of his finals.  He would be working on projects all summer, but, still, it was nice to get a little break from classes to recharge.  He needed to recharge.  He could barely drag his feet up the stairs, and all he could think about was the fact that there was absolutely no food at his place that didnt require cooking (something he did not have the energy for), and that his apartment was an unmitigated disaster, as it always was during finals week. 

Kurt was normally very tidy, but sometimes there just werent enough hours in the day. 

Wearily pushing his door open, he was stunned by the site that greeted him.  First, his apartment was neat as a pin and gave off that wonderful aroma you only get from using a lot of different cleaning products:  the Pine-sol, toilet cleaner, Endust, Windex olfactory symphony.  It was Kurts second favorite smell, next to the smell of Blaines neck when he was just waking up.  Second, the cleanliness was overlaid with dimmed lights, burning candles, and soft music.  Third, there was Blaine-beautiful, sweet, amazing Blaine.  He was dressed in, well, clothes, but also oven mitts, and he was pulling a batch of chocolate chip cookies from the oven. 

"I wasnt sure when youd be back," Blaine said apologetically, putting the tray of cookies on a cooling rack and stepping over to kiss Kurt quickly on the lips, "So I just made a cold dinner-really just a salad-but there are cookies, too.  I hope thats okay."

Kurt dropped his book bag to the floor with a thud, grabbed Blaine by both shoulders and said, "What have you done, you wonderful, perfect man?"  He gave Blaine one of his rare, teeth showing smiles. 

Blaine stepped out of Kurts hold, walked behind Kurt, and began massaging the tight muscles around Kurts neck as he responded, "Well, I know you had a hard week, and my finals ended a day before yours, so I just wanted to give you a hand, you know, pick up things around your apartment and make you dinner.  Its kind of a thank you for how sweet youve been.  Things have been crazy, but youve still made time to spend time with me, and youve been writing that great story-which I know you dont have time to do-and just...everything.  I love you so much, Kurt, and I wanted you to know it." 

Kurts head fell forward and he groaned from how heavenly Blaines magic fingers were making him feel.  He didnt even know he was in this much pain. 

Blaine rubbed a little longer, then he said, "Why dont we eat some dinner, and then Ill take you to bed and give you a serious massage, and you can sleep."

"Wheres everyone else?" asked Kurt, reluctantly moving away from Blaines warm hand and sliding to the table to sit down. 

"Rachels out for the evening and wont be back until late, and Santana...well, who knows where Santana goes?  She kind of just appears and disappears inexplicably."

"I heard she got fired from her job."  Kurt said offhandedly, as Blaine set a mouthwatering salad in front of him.

"I heard that, too, but, apparently, it was just a rumor.  You know how these things go."

Kurt nodded, and Blaine sat down and they both began eating. 

"Hey, honey." Kurt said when he had eaten enough to take the edge off of his starvation, "Im sorry I havent had time to get back to our story.  Its just been so busy, you know?"

"Dont worry about it, my love.  I know youve been swamped, and you dont have to finish it if you dont want to."

"Are you bored with it?"

"Oh, no!  I love it.  But I dont want to pressure you." 

"I promise Ill finish it, but it might take a few days, okay?"

"Take your time, darling."

Kurt awoke around 4 am when he heard Rachel enter the apartment and tiptoe to her bedroom.  He honestly thought shed make less noise if she quit trying to be quiet. 

Now that he was awake, he realized he had to pee, so he threw on the pajamas hed never quite gotten to after falling asleep during Blaines massage.  By the time he finished in the bathroom, he was awake.  He walked over to his book bag and pulled out his laptop.  Setting it up at the kitchen table, he opened it and began writing. 

Rachel could feel Blaines excitement growing as they traveled nearer to his home.  He had assured her that they would arrive on the third day, and Rachel wanted to make sure that her plan was in place before they got there.  That meant that she had to act tonight.

Anyone else would be a little uneasy about what Rachel had planned, and there were so many ways the plan could go wrongly, but Rachel was single-minded.  She thought only about the goal and not at all about the implications of the means. 

When they stopped for the evening on the second night and the cooks began preparing the evening meal, Rachel put her plan into action.  She insisted that Blaine seat them near the edge of the camp, because "it is unpleasant sitting so close to the fires, getting my hair and clothes covered with soot."  If Blaine hadnt had second thoughts about marrying an English woman before, that comment gave him pause.  In reality, however, Rachel didnt want to sit away from the fire, and she couldnt have cared less about her hair and clothes.  It was also cold so far from the flames, but Rachel could endure a little cold if it ensured her future happiness. 

Now she was sitting on a plaid that Blaine had spread out before her, and she simply observed the camp while her husband was off attending to some business or other.   Anyone who was paying attention would have noticed that her eyes were constantly tracking a cooks assistant, who was moving between stirring the cook pots and adding bits to them from various containers in a wagon.  Fortunately, no one was paying attention. 

Rachel had a few moments of doubt about her plan, but then she saw Blaine pause for a few minutes and talk to "Elizabeth," smiling at the cooks assistant with genuine warmth, and she was reassured that she was acting for the greater good.  She watched as Blaine came toward her, and she was delighted to see Kurt following, carrying two plates of food.  She rose to meet him, and as she traveled toward him, she timed it so that she arrived at Kurt first, putting out a foot, seemingly unintentionally, and tripping the assistant. 

Elizabeth ended up with food all over her skirt and blouse. 

Rachel put a hand to her mouth and feigned dismay.  "Oh, I am so sorry!"  Running over to the plaid, she snatched it off the ground.  "Come quickly.  Lets get to the river and get these clothes soaking so that they wont be ruined.  You can wear this."  She thrust the plaid toward Kurt, who took it with a stunned look on his face. 

Taking Kurts hand, Rachel led him to a secluded spot by the river, turned him around, and began tugging at his blouse to remove it. 

Kurt, who had been completely flustered to this point, came to his senses and began objecting, "No, no, my lady.  I can undress myself.  Please.  Just go back to camp.  I will return as soon as my clothes are clean." 

"Oh, no.  Please let me help you.  I insist." 

"No, I couldnt!"  Kurt looked at Rachel with pleading eyes, "Im shy."

"Oh, dear," Rachel put a hand to her mouth again, praying that her acting was at least a little believable, "I did not mean to embarrass you."  Then Rachel steeled herself for what she needed to do next.  "I will leave you to your privacy, but Elizabeth-is it?-when you soak that dress, you might also consider going in the river yourself.  Your smell is rather putting me off my own food." 

It was a complete lie.  Kurt always smelled rather good, like cinnamon and baked bread, but Rachel had her reasons, and she counted on Kurt being just vain enough to be offended but also to strip and bathe.  She didnt dare stay to argue though.  She just turned on her heels and walked away, keeping her fingers crossed that all would continue to go as planned. 

When Rachel entered the camp, Blaine had a face like thunder.  "You did that on purpose!" he accused Rachel when she reentered the camp.  He grabbed her elbows and gave her a shake. 

"Whatever do you mean?" she asked innocently, batting her eyelashes for good measure. 

"I saw you trip Elizabeth.  What has that sweet girl ever done to you except make sure that youre well fed and well tended?" 

Rachel snatched her arms out of Blaines grip, "Surely youre not accusing me?  Whatever reason would I have to engage in such behavior?" 

"I dont know.  Maybe youre just mean, but you will apologize to Elizabeth this instant!"

Rachel got her dander up at the accusation of meanness, and now she didnt have to act to be outraged, "Sir, you accuse me falsely!"  Then she remembered her plan and pretended to consider his accusations.  She continued more reasonably, "However, if you thought I acted with malice-which I certainly did not-I am certain that poor Elizabeth must think likewise.  I will take her one of my own gowns and I will apologize properly."  Then Rachel scanned the sky which was growing dimmer in the twilight, "But perhaps you should accompany me, so that I am not alone in the dark."

Blaine looked hard at his wife, and then he relented, shaking his head as if he was beginning to doubt his own eyes.  "All right," he said grudgingly.   He put out an arm, and Rachel took it after gathering up a gown from a wagon containing her things.  Deep down she knew she wouldnt need it if her timing was as good as she had hoped. 

The moon was rising, round and bright in the sky, and as they came closer to the river they heard splashing.  Blaine assumed it was the sound of Elizabeth rinsing out her dress, clad in the plaid that Rachel had given her.  Rachel hoped it wasnt. 

Rachels luck was with her.  As they emerged from the trees along the river bank, Kurt took that moment to rise out of the river and walk to shore, beautifully and gloriously naked.  Rachel heard Blaine gasp as Kurt emerged from the water, hair slicked back, smooth and muscled and very definitely male.  Rachel had never seen a naked adult man before, and her heart belonged to Finn, but just for a second she entertained a fantasy that involved a very different, but definitely well-endowed, man that was beneath her station. 

Then Rachel remembered herself.  She turned and clasped a hand over Blaines mouth.  Then she pulled him back into the trees before Kurt could spot them. 

"Nooooo.  That cant be the end of the chapter," Blaine groused from his position, laying on the sofa with his head in Kurts lap.  "Tell me some more about how well endowed you are."  He gave Kurt a wolfish grin and waggled his eyebrows.  He couldnt even tease Kurt about being immodest, because it was completely true.  

Blaine had awoken in the morning to find Kurt hunched over his keypad, and he was thrilled when Kurt told him that he had written a new chapter, "that probably isnt very good, because Im really tired, Blaine."  Then Kurt made Blaine wait all day for story time, even though Blaine kept giving Kurt puppy-dog eyes and saying, "Pleeeeease," whenever he had the opportunity. 

Finally, in the late afternoon, Blaine had worn Kurt down, and he agreed to read the new chapter to him, as long as no one else was in the house.  Blaine bounced up and down with excitement. 

Now that hed had the story, it seemed like the pestering should have stopped, but it didnt. 

"What happens next?"

"Im not going to tell you that!"

 "Will Kurt and Blaine have sex?"

 "You mean in the story?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 Blaine gave Kurt a coy look, "Both in the story, and also in real life."

 "Well," drawled Kurt, "it looks pretty promising for the story, if Blaine doesnt freak out.  As for real life, well, I guess thats pretty much up to the Laird, because Im his humble servant."  Kurt gave a mock bow from his seated position.  

It took Blaine a second, but then he smiled and leaned up to kiss Kurt.  Then standing up in a single, smooth motion and jerking his head to indicate the bedroom, he commanded, "Well, come on then.  Your Laird demands satisfaction."