May 2, 2014, 7 p.m.
High Time: Heart: Where We Left Off
E - Words: 1,317 - Last Updated: May 02, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 19/? - Created: Apr 11, 2014 - Updated: Apr 11, 2014 188 0 0 0 0
Sorry for the delay. I had a little writers block that could only be cured by driving to Kentucky.
Kurt felt Blaine stiffen in his arms in surprise and then relax into the kiss with a bonelessness that Kurt knew as well as he knew his own feelings. Blaine always said that Kurt's kisses left him weak in the knees, and Kurt loved the feel of Blaine clinging to him in order to fight gravity. Kurt was not normally a guy to publicly display affection when he wasn't on a stage, but he was beyond caring. He pulled Blaine closer to him on what passed at Scandals for a dance floor and used his splayed hands trying to get all of him touching all of Blaine.
Holding Blaine was a miracle of contradictions. He was so small, and Kurt loved the feeling of being just a little bigger, of being the one who could wrap Blaine in his arms and protect him. At the same time, Blaine was so hard and muscular, and Kurt could feel his strength when he held him, and it felt so deeply male it made Kurt sigh.
Kurt also loved that Blaine was warm all of the time, almost supernaturally so. He radiated a heat that made Kurt want to roll in him or rub up against him or wrap him around himself in some way. Kurt kissed Blaine more deeply, opening his mouth a little wider and delving more deeply into Blaine with his tongue. Kurt couldn't hear Blaine in the crowded bar, but he could feel the vibrations against his lips when Blaine moaned into his mouth.
God, it was hot.
Then Blaine pushed away a little bit and said, “No, Kurt, hey, let's…wait, is that Sebastian singing?”
Both boys' heads swiveled to look at the stage where Sebastian was singing, as he pointed to Kurt and Blaine, a huge grin on his face, “This ain't no ordinary love.”
“I will end him,” Kurt vowed.
“He's pretty good,” Blaine said more reasonably.
As Sebastian continued to sing, he looked at Kurt and nodded his head toward the men's room. Clearly he had caught Kurt and Blaine's floor show and thought they should take it to the obvious next level. Kurt had other ideas. Capturing Blaine's hand, he began to pull him toward the door.
When they got outside, Blaine stopped, “Kurt, what's going on? Where are we going?”
Kurt tugged on Blaine's hand and impelled him to move again until they were standing next to the Navigator. Kurt crowded Blaine against the SUV until he was right up next to Blaine, the full length of his body in contact with his fiancé's smaller frame. Kurt had one hand on the Navigator, palm flat, and the other was cupping Blaine's neck, and Kurt was kissing down Blaine's neck.
“Seriously, Kurt,” Blaine panted as Kurt rolled his hips up against Blaine, and they were both so hard, “What is this about?”
“I want to make love to you, Blaine, and I'm not a going to do it in the men's room. I'm not that much of a gay bar cliché.”
“No, Kurt, stop.” Blaine put a hand on Kurt's chest, “I'm not sure this is a good idea.”
“I'm sure this is an excellent idea,” Kurt responded, pushing even closer to Blaine for emphasis. “You and I are so good together.”
“This is just a rebound, Kurt. Last week you were so heartbroken over Matt you were crying on the phone to me. I don't want to be the guy you come to because you are hurting or just to get over another guy…” Blaine's voice trailed off when he saw the look of confusion and horror on Kurt's face.
Recognition dawned on Blaine, “Old Kurt?”
Kurt pulled his hand away from the Navigator and squeezed the back of his neck while rolling his head back, “I really wish people would stop calling me that, but, yes, it's Old Kurt.”
Blaine pushed Kurt a little farther back from him. “It's like you're schizophrenic. One moment you're this innocent, sweet boy who's broken up over his cheating boyfriend, and the next minute you're this sex god who wants to have me for breakfast. I'm getting whiplash.”
Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine's. “They're both me, Blaine. It was you who taught sweet, innocent me how to be a sex god for you.”
“No, Kurt, it wasn't me. Don't you see? You're so insistent that we be together, but you're only here part of the time. The rest of the time there's a different Kurt here, and that Kurt doesn't love me. I don't think he even wants me. He's heartbroken over Matt. He may want something completely different, Kurt, and he's my best friend. Why are you pushing this so much?”
How could Blaine not get this? They loved each other; it was so simple. “You promised me, Blaine. You promised, and I promised. We promised!”
“What? What did I promise? Tell me!”
Their heads were no longer touching, but Kurt wasn't letting Blaine go. He now he had him by the shoulders, and his lower body was pressed against Blaine's pinning him against the Navigator. “I told you I would never say goodbye to you, and I meant it.”
Kurt let go of Blaine's shoulders and reached his hands down to entwine his fingers with Blaine's. “You said our hands were meant to hold each other fearlessly and forever. Fearlessly and forever! It's engraved inside of our engagement rings.
“And you swore, you swore that no matter what, no matter where, even if we're not together, we're always gonna be there for each other.” Kurt brought their hands up and captured them between their chests.
“And you said,” and Kurt's voice broke on this, and tears began to stream down his face, “You said that our love was ‘as if in every lifetime I've ever lived we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over, for all eternity.' You said that Blaine. You did.” Kurt couldn't go on, he was crying too hard, and Blaine disentangled his fingers from Kurt's and pulled him into an embrace, stroking the fingers of one hand through Kurt's hair, rubbing his back with the other and pressing soft kisses into Kurt's cheek.
And as Kurt grew calmer he realized to his horror that Blaine was right. New Kurt, the Kurt that loved Matt and was best friends with Blaine wasn't him. He might have been him at one time, but he wasn't him now. Just as this Blaine wasn't the man he left in his bed in New York. They were different, and Kurt was forcing himself on Blaine, emotionally and physically.
With a cry he pushed back and away from Blaine, his hand coming up to his mouth and his eyes wide with shock. “Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I've been pushing myself on you, and you've been trying to push away, and I wasn't listening. I can't believe I did that. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I love you, and I should have…”
“No, Kurt. It's okay. This is just…confusing.”
“No, it's not right.” Kurt ran a hand over his face. “I promise. I won't touch you again—not if you don't want me to.”
“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine put a hand on Kurt's upper arm, “I love your touch. I do. It thrills me in a way that no one else ever has, but tomorrow you may be gone, and I'll be left with a Kurt who loves me, but just as a friend. That's a lot to put my heart through.”
Kurt nodded. “I know. I'm so sorry. You said not to force this, and I did anyway. It's just…” Kurt gestured vaguely toward Blaine, “God, look at you.”
Blaine blushed, but he looked pleased. “So where does that leave us?”
Kurt put a hand on Blaine's waist and guided him back toward the front of Scandals. “What do you say we go back inside and blow them away with an amazing duet of ‘Candles' by Hey Monday?”
Blaine gave Kurt a huge smile.