It always amazes Kurt how many of his regular clients want to baby him. Because of what he does some clients assume that he must be lacking in a male role model, which is ridiculous. His dad is a pretty great father. He’s never had a problem with Kurt’s sexuality, and he might have an opinion on his apparent inability to commit to a relationship but Kurt has always known that no matter what, his father has never thought less of him for being sexually adventurous. It would take a lot for Burt Hummel to think less of his son and Kurt knows that it might be slightly unfair to his step-mom who came along later but Kurt can’t think of a better parent for any kid to have than him.

So he doesn’t need to be babied, doesn’t need some hero to come in and manage his life, but he doesn’t mind that Alex tries. Sue was right in predicting that Alex could become a regular. He schedules with Kurt twice a week and Kurt only. The first appointment after was awkward, and Kurt had still been anxious over his decision to share his real name. It had been impossible not to relax however in the face of Alex’s nerves, and that abashed smile he flashed him as he met him at the hotel with flowers, like they were actually going on a date.

It still made Kurt grin (albeit while shaking his head) to think about it.

There are clients, like Alex, that Kurt loves to see pop up on his schedule. Men who aren’t just a job, but people he gets to know and as far as he dares, lets them get to know him. Kurt is with one such client, Victor, a weekly regular and they’ve fucked twice; Victor let Kurt fuck him (which although Kurt knows he enjoys, Victor rarely asks for explicitly). Kurt looks over at Victor’s sleeping form; it’s after midnight and the only light from the room comes from outside and the book light as he tries to read without waking Victor up.

I know it sounds odd, but Kurt very rarely sleeps with his clients. He can’t ever fully let his guard down, not even with Victor who who was very first client and also his longest. But that is rather off the pointy as Kurt is not there to sleep. If Victor wakes up Kurt needs to be at his beck and call, a cheerio is always ready.

Kurt closes his book. Though it’s his favorite collection of french poems he’s bored of reading and his eyes are getting tired. He leans over and checks that Victor’s sound asleep and after placing a chaste kiss to his temple he carefully crawls out of bed.

He pulls on his robe and heads to the bathroom, closing the door before turning on the light. As he reaches in his pocket he briefly contemplates the wisdom of calling Blaine while he’s at work, but only for a second. Victor is safely sleeping and he just really has the urge to hear Blaine’s voice again. They’ve seen more of each other lately than ever thanks to the whole ordeal with Regina and the baby, and while that night had been pretty horrible for Blaine Kurt has to be thankful for that.

Kurt has always known of course that his friendship with Blaine is important to him but the heady cocktail of rent, jobs and relationships seems to have made him forget just how much. He and Blaine have that special kind of friendship that poets call the flip side of love; same coin, tails end. Or maybe it’s heads side up, because being Blaine’s friend and loving him enough to hop a train at the first sign of distress has always come as natural as breathing. It’s the sex,- the reality of falling in love (or not as the case happened to be)- that complicated things and almost twisted them to breaking.

But the wonder of it all is they didn’t and there’s still so much for him to hold onto, to take care of. He hasn’t so far, and that’s pretty stupid actually.

Kurt sits on the edge of the bathtub as he opens his phone and presses number one on his speed dial.

“What?” Kurt can’t help but smile as he hears Blaine’s wide awake voice on the other end. They’re both still night owls it seems.

“I’m bored,” he tells Blaine petulantly, his voice a dead giveaway.

“And you call me at 1:00 in the morning to tell me this?” Kurt can hear the muffled sound of the video game Blaine is playing in the background. For some reason this makes him happy.

“You’re just angry I caught you playing that silly game. A little old for such toys aren’t we?” He teases with a brow lifted even though Blaine can’t see it. “Are you winning?”

“Uh...not exactly. David challenged me to an old school Madden match this weekend- after we watch the game you know- so I thought I'd brush up, but I forgot how limited the players are in the older versions....No! Are you kidding me?! Just catch the ball. It was right in front of you!”

“It doesn’t sound like it’s going well.” Kurt says with a smile, he can picture Blaine’s frustrated face and the way he gets intense over something as trivial as a fake football game. “How was the gig?” He asks, referring to some show that Jeremiah had dragged Blaine to that evening with some of his work mates.

“It wasn’t a gig. It was more an ‘electric acoustic performance piece’. Whatever that is.” Kurt pauses in his examination of his nails and grimaces.

“It sounds...trendy.” He tries, because he knows that it irritates Blaine when he comments on anything Jeremiah related. But the great part of being friends with Blaine, Kurt remembers, is they can be honest with each other about everything. Well, almost everything.

“No I can’t,” he admits with a scoff. “Actually it sounds awful. Just the sound of it makes me think of nails on a chalkboard.”

“I know! I’m all for creativity with music but the guy played the same note for two and a half hours. At one point I actually thought he was dead.” Blaine readily agrees and as he laughs quietly Kurt knows they’re both grinning and it feels good to share something so silly and simple.

"Jeremiah and the guys loved it though so that was nice. I don’t know, maybe it just takes getting used to.”

“Well if I chopped off your arm you’d get used to that too but no one said it was a good thing.”

“Ha ha ha Kurt, I’m laughing because you’re so...Oh my god, I’m pressing A. A! Go left, it’s not that hard!”

“I assume you’re talking to your imaginary football players?”

“They’re not imaginary. I didn’t make them up, they’re right on the screen in front of me. And yes they’re being particularly...” Suddenly Blaine goes quiet and Kurt hears the sounds of the phone shifting and a muffled conversation. Ah, he thinks, Jeremiah must have woken up.

And suddenly Kurt is a lot less happy.

“Hi. I’m back, sorry about that. Jeremiah says hi," Blaine says, whispering so quietly that Kurt can barely hear him. He rolls his eyes.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure he does.” Blaine is a terrible liar, not that he really needs to lie. Jeremiah can’t stand Kurt, and the feeling is mutual. “Why is his being bent out of shape because I call you so not a shocker for me?”

“Don’t be like that, Kurt. It’s late, he’s trying to sleep and I got a little over excited so I apologized.”

“So just so we’re clear. He’s upset that I excite you?” Kurt can’t help but say it. It’s the truth and all three of them know it. Jeremiah has always been jealous of the closeness that he and Blaine share.

Blaine sighs.

“Kurt, can we not?”

They seem to be saying that to each other a lot lately. Kurt wonders when they will.

This time it’s Kurt who sighs as he hears Victor stirring in the other room. “Okay. I’ve got to go anyway.”

“Yeah me too. Call me when you get up so we can do breakfast.”

They say their goodbyes and hang up and Kurt quickly peers around the bedroom door; Victor doesn’t appear to have moved much more and is still sound asleep. Kurt wanders out of the bathroom and sits on the edge of the bed wondering what to do next.

*************************

Kurt spends a lot of time in hotel bars as you might imagine but this particular morning is pretty special though as this time it’s strictly personal. Blaine’s company has been attending a conference there all day, and Blaine does not have time to leave in order to attend their weekly lunch.

This has happened before in the past of course. Often it’s Kurt who calls to reschedule one of their meet ups so he more than owes Blaine a few rain checks, but as Blaine had explained the situation on the phone the night before and apologized, neither of them had seemed happy about the situation and somehow or another Kurt had ended up agreeing to meet him at the hotel.

It’s strange bur Kurt still can’t say he regrets the new closeness between them. They no longer seem to have trouble meeting three times a week. In fact it’s becoming strange not to see Blaine daily and now Kurt is at a high class hotel meeting a man for lunch and it has absolutely nothing to do with going upstairs and having sex afterwards.

Kind of a pity really.

In the circles that Kurt moves in hotels like this one are renowned for the way they turn a blind eye to escorts. From his position at the bar Kurt has spotted three escorts already. At a table in the adjoining restaurant there’s a leggy blond with loose curls right down her back-wearing an obviously expensive red cocktail dress with matching lips and nails- sitting opposite a portly bald man in his mid fifties.

With one hand she idly twiddles a curl around her index finger whilst the other slides up and down the bowl of her glass in a very intentional way. Judging by the way the gentleman’s eyes wander down to her wine glass, it’s having the desired effect.

A few seats along is a young man around Kurt’s age- only darker skinned, Latino. Every now and then he discreetly checks his watch and looks towards the hotel door, and Kurt knows the suit he’s wearing costs a small fortune as he has the same one in navy. The guy even has the telltale briefcase at his side, not dissimilar to the one Kurt usually carries.

Then, over by the fireplace is a redhead in her early thirties chatting to two young business men. She wears a jet black trouser suit with nothing beneath the jacket; a long silver chain draws the eye downwards. Every now and then she’ll throw her head back in laughter to reveal the hint of a peaked nipple, and when that doesn’t work she ‘accidentally’ drops something that she absolutely must bend down and retrieve. All are obviously high class and are using tricks that Kurt himself has used a hundred times.

His eyes turn to the conference rooms as a crowd of men and women in power suits come piling out, all talking animatedly and walking fast. Finally Blaine emerges. His tie is askew and though every other inch of him is immaculate and firmly pressed right up to his hair, he looks about ready to stick his head in a blender, not to mention positively exhausted. As he spots Kurt at the bar his face brightens some and he smiles tiredly.

“Hey. I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” he says as he comes to stand next to Kurt and sighs heavily. “It’s not crazy if I quit is it?” Kurt makes some sympathetic noises and reaches up to adjusts his tie for him.

“Not if you don’t mind starting a new career from the bottom again,” Kurt teases as he gets up to follow the hostess and they’re shown to a table in the almost empty restaurant. It feels weird being at this hotel and sitting down to a meal with a man who isn’t a client. He tries to shake the feeling and stop thinking about work. He wants more than anything just to enjoy his time with Blaine.

Blaine is as always, a very pleasing distraction. Kurt raises an eyebrow as Blaine orders a diet coke.

“I thought you’d want a stiff drink after the morning you’ve had,” he comments on it and Blaine shakes his head in annoyance.

“Jeremiah thinks I drink too much so I’ve gotten into the habit of avoiding it.” Catching Kurt’s look of shock he quickly adds, “it’s okay though. Crazy things happen when I drink. I don’t really hold liquor all that well.”

Kurt can’t quite contain a quick burst of laughter at that, because Blaine has never said anything more true. Blaine loses every last barrier he has after practically the first sip of alcohol. It’s sort of adorable- under proper supervision. Still, finding out that Blaine has changed something, or stopped doing something else, seems to be becoming a trend. Now that Blaine is a constant in his life again Kurt is only just realizing that Blaine has changed a lot since they were together. More specifically, he has changed a lot for Jeremiah. Because he loves him.

Kurt doesn’t know what he feels about that but it’s heavy in his gut as he clears his throat.

“He won’t let you enjoy a glass of wine?” He asks in mild censure. “Jesus, Blaine: cookies, late night video games, pop music, booze. Does he not let you do any of the things that you enjoy?”

“Very little,” Blaine admits with a teasing grin. “But, that’s all the silly stuff. You give up some things to blend two lives together. I can live without cookies and late nights.”

“True enough. But electronic acoustic performances are serious things, Blaine. That, I don’t believe, won’t kill you given time.” Kurt says, putting on his best wounded face and Blaine chuckles.

“Can I order us something special?” Blaine asks excitedly, opening the menu. “They have a great special here and I think you’ll love it.”

“This isn’t going to have feet or eyes that look at me like at that Thai place is it?”

“No, even better. It’s the best all American beer battered burger you are ever going to eat,” Blaine says, already looking blissful just thinking about it. “Kurt, it’s got sauteed onions and bacon on it and if you order the sliders they stick in these adorable little toothpicks.”

“To distract me from the sound of my arteries clogging?” Kurt scoffs, but it’s lost on Blaine. He’s suddenly very interested in something going on behind Kurt. “Blaine?”

“Don’t turn round,” Blaine whispers urgently, so obviously the first thing that Kurt does is turn around to where the escort at the bar is now heading towards the elevators with a distinguished looking older gentleman, their arms linked. “I saw that older guy give him money. And they...I think that guy’s a whore.”

Kurt cringes internally at the word as it falls out of Blaine’s mouth. He has always said that he doesn’t care what anybody calls him, but for some reason that rule of thumb isn’t extended to Blaine. Having sex for money makes Kurt feel powerful, attractive and unlike most he gets real job satisfaction, he couldn’t give it up even if he wanted to. But the way Blaine just said the word makes Kurt feel cheap and used for the first time since....

It strikes him then that Blaine has been making him feel this way for a couple of weeks now, that Blaine is the reason his job has lost a lot of its thrill. Blaine and his smiles, and his touches and just...all of it.

“Stop staring,” Kurt hisses seriously, and he realizes that Blaine isn’t the only one staring. A group of women at the table next to them have noticed as well, and Kurt briefly wonders if people stare at him that way while he’s working. He’d always thought he was so inconspicuous. He fleetingly wonders if he’ll ever be able to work again without feeling self conscious.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine says with a hint of surprise, clearly not understanding Kurt’s reaction; they people watch all the time, it’s a hobby of theirs. “It’s just not something you see everyday.”

It strikes home then, how much it hurts him to know that Blaine knows nothing at all about what he does, he doesn’t know that escorts are everywhere and thinks that prostitutes only work on street corners. Part of Kurt wants to put him straight but the other part of him doesn’t want the inevitable questions about how he’s acquired the knowledge.

“He’s not a whore anyway.” Kurt defends the nameless guy like he’s defending himself. “He’s an escort. You don’t even know him, you have no idea why he does what he does and I can’t believe you’re just sitting there judging, thinking you have a right to say something like that.” Blaine stares at him like he has lost his mind. Kurt is aware that his voice is raised and people are staring but he’s never been so furious in his life.

“Excuse me?” Blaine looks angry now.

“I didn’t think you were that cruel Blaine!” He’d hoped, Kurt realizes. He’d hoped somewhere in the back of his mind that if he ever told Blaine that he would understand. He’s terrified he realizes, but anger feels so much safer. Blaine leans forward in his chair, his mouth pressed in that way that Kurt knows means he’s furious and trying to remain composed.

“He has sex for money Kurt. That makes him a whore, it’s what you call someone who has sex for money. I’m sorry if I wasn’t politically correct enough for you, but unless you’re going to tell me what you’re really so upset about you need to stop biting my head off. You do it all the time now and it isn’t fair.”

Blaine is right. Kurt has tried to deny it but things have been unraveling for him lately and it has everything to do with the pressure of living a lie, with being close to someone one day and a stranger to them the next. He doesn’t want to do it anymore, lie that is. He’s sick of them and he’s been taking that anger out on Blaine. Blaine hadn’t said anything about the escort they’d seen that wasn’t true.

And that’s what it comes down to. The word ‘whore’ might just be semantics, but sometimes semantics is everything.

Kurt has always said he’s not ashamed of who he is and that he doesn’t care what people say about him. And that’s maybe true; but you see, Kurt has this friend who means everything to him, who he tells everything...except that he’s a whore.

That time is coming to a close. Kurt knows that now. But he just can’t do it now; not just yet. If Blaine looks at him and says that word Kurt will break, he knows he will, because he’s been lying to himself. He cares. More than he ever thought he could.

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” Kurt says as he hastily rises from his seat. He needs to be anywhere but where he is. For both their sakes.

“Kurt, wait don’t-”

“No. I’m so sorry, Blaine. I’ll call you but I have to-” he has to go. He just really has to go.

TBC