Chapter 3: The Hen Party

“Run, you fat bastard!” Jonathan yelled at Finn.

Kurt rolled his eyes. He was still shocked that he had dated him for seven years. They were playing baseball and as everyone knew, Kurt was terrible. He really didn’t understand the premise and the only thing he really liked were the uniforms.

He watched as Rachel ran around the bases and Santana grabbed his arm, jumping up and down shouting at Rachel to run faster. In the middle of her run she stopped, removed her shoes quickly, and started running again, with more speed.

Kurt started jumping along with Santana, “Come on, Rachel! Hurry up! Come on!”

She ran across home plate, her foot tapping it as she ran to Kurt and wrapped her arms around him, enjoying the cheering that she was receiving from her teammates. They were all laughing and smiling and Kurt was simply terrified. So many times he had tried to play this game and he had gotten hit in the face, hit himself with the bat... Any way of injuring himself, Kurt had managed.

“Awesome, Rachel!” Finn shouted, throwing an excited fist into the air.

“Finn!” Jonathan scolded.

“What? That was an awesome hit,” Finn defended.

Santana walked up to the plate and took the bat from Blaine. She hurriedly shoved it between her legs, holding it in place as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail that was worthy of her old cheerleading days back in school. She pulled on her hair, tightening the elastic hair tie and grabbed the bat again.

“Are you ready, Santana?” Jonathan asked, popping his right hip out and waiting.

“Fuck off, Jonny Boy,” she said, adjusting her top and standing at the plate, ready.

Kurt watched as Jonathan effortlessly pitched the ball and Santana hit it with ease, getting to first base, where Finn was standing guard.

“Come on, Kurt, you’re up,” Blaine said, looking at him and holding out the bat.

Kurt didn’t know what to do. He didn’t really want to be playing baseball because he hated all kinds of sports but this was different. He needed to make Jonathan jealous to make him feel horrible. He needed to make Jonathan feel guilty for just up and leaving him with no reason at all.

Kurt smirked and picked up a bottle of water: he had a plan and he knew it was going to work. How could it not work? He twisted the cap off and took a drink from it, accidentally spilling some on his shirt. He looked down at it, confused slightly, and then looked at Blaine who was giving him a look that said, ‘really, Kurt? That’s what you’re going with?’ Kurt didn’t pay any mind to that look. He was sticking with his plan. He knew Jonathan like the back of his hand. This would work.

His shirt was ruined, so he had no other choice than to just remove it and stand there in his undershirt, which conveniently hugged the contours of his lean body.

“You’re up, Kurt,” Blaine said again.

Kurt glanced at Jonathan before tossing the shirt to Rachel. He was smiling. Kurt knew his plan would work. He walked over to Blaine, taking the bat from him and taking his stance at the plate.

“Be nice to me, Jonathan,” Kurt said, waggling his hips.

He stared at Jonathan and immediately wanted to run away as soon as the pitch was thrown and it was hurtling through the air towards his face. He had managed to hit the ball and was ready to run, but Finn immediately caught it, jumping up in the air. He dropped the bat and a scowl immediately formed on his face.

“Out!” Jonathan shouted, jumping up and chest bumping Finn.

“Damn it!” Kurt swore under his breath and threw the bat onto the ground, huffing as he walked back to Rachel and Santana.

“Don’t worry about it, Kurtsy,” Rachel cooed, patting his shoulder.

He eyed her angrily and sighed, “I should have at least gotten to first base.” Santana snorted and Kurt glared at her. “Do not say a word, San.”

She held her hands up in mock defense. “Me? Say something? Now, Kurt, when have you ever taken me as the type of person to say something in response to something like that?”

“Blaine! You’re up!” Puck shouted from behind the plate.

Blaine walked over and picked up the bat that Kurt had thrown down previously and headed towards the plate. Kurt hurriedly grabbed his hand and pulled him close, so his lips were at Blaine’s ear. He set his hand on Blaine’s shoulder and squeezed it gently.

“Lose the game,” he whispered, looking Blaine in the eye and let his hand run down the length of Blaine’s arm before he walked back to Santana and Rachel. He hadn’t seen the look that Blaine had given him, but just turned around to see Blaine walking towards the plate.

Blaine stepped up to the plate and took his stance, which Kurt had to admit suited him. Jonathan stared at Kurt for a few moments before turning his attention back to Blaine and almost glaring at him. He threw an incredibly fast pitch that Blaine managed to hit with ease. He dropped the bat and ran the bases, clapping Finn on the back as he ran past him and first base.

“NO!” Jonathan shouted, following the ball as it flew across the sky over his head.

Kurt just stood there, staring with his mouth open as Blaine ran around the bases. How was hitting a home run losing the game? It wasn’t. Why didn’t he listen to him? Why did no one listen to him? Was there something with his face that just screamed, ‘hey, don’t listen to me even though I’m telling you something important’? There must have been because it was the only logical reason Kurt could come up with as to why Blaine would just deliberately ignore him.

“Woo! Come on, Blaine! Run!” Rachel shouted, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Run, you sexy monkey!” Santana shouted, jumping a little and grabbing onto Kurt’s arm.

Kurt stared at the two of them. What was happening? He didn’t know what the hell was going on and he surely didn’t know how to react to it all. Blaine ran across home plate and turned back to Kurt, smiling.

“You’re supposed to be helping,” Kurt muttered, looking at Blaine uneasily.

“Oh, trust me,” he said, smirking and wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist, “I am.”

Kurt looked at him and then looked out to Jonathan, who was huffing and kicking at the pitcher’s mound, swearing to himself. Kurt smirked and wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck and pulled him close. Jonathan’s eyes met his and Kurt placed a kiss to Blaine’s cheek and rested his head on Blaine’s shoulder. Kurt had to admit, it did seem to be making Jonathan insanely jealous and even though he was angry that Blaine didn’t listen to him, it had worked out all right in the end. Just seeing Jonathan glaring at the sight of Kurt and Blaine made Kurt somewhat giddy. He smirked and placed another kiss to Blaine’s cheek and tightened his hold slightly around Blaine.

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Kurt stared at himself in the mirror. He knew he looked amazing but for some reason he just didn’t really want to go out to this party. It wasn't that he wasn’t happy for Rachel, because he was, but there was just something eating away at him. He glanced to his right and saw Blaine, sitting on the edge of the bed leafing through an old edition of Vogue. Kurt smiled. Yes, Blaine was surely gay. He liked Vogue. That was a plus in Kurt’s book. Why was Kurt thinking about giving Blaine a plus? He shouldn’t have been. He wasn’t even truly dating Blaine and here he was, giving him pluses.

“What’s with the pants?” Blaine asked, looking at the short pants that were tucked into the argyle-looking socks that Kurt was sporting.

“It’s a golf-themed bachelorette,” Kurt muttered, rolling his eyes, “I don’t understand Rachel’s mind sometimes… and I really don’t want to understand it.”

Blaine chuckled a little, “Well, I’m glad that Finn decided to not give his party a theme.”

“You know, you don’t have to go to that. I mean, you’ll know Puck… sort of, but Finn will probably be with Jonathan and you two had that lovely talk at the engagement party,” Kurt started, looking at Blaine as they walked down the stairs towards the door.

“It’s not a problem, Kurt. Finn invited me and I said I’d go. I have to act like we’re dating and it would be weird if I just decided to stay here while you were out with the girls,” Blaine said, opening the front door for Kurt to walk out.

“So, have you ever done a wedding before?” Kurt asked, a little hesitant to hear what the answer might be.

“No. But I have done funerals,” Blaine answered, quickly.

“An escort at a funeral? Someone’s dead,” Kurt blurted, looking at Blaine with wide eyes full of disbelief.

“Yeah, imagine facing something like that alone,” Blaine said, turning to look at Kurt with sincerity.

“Catch!”

Blaine turned at the sound of the voice and immediately spotted keys being tossed in his direction. He cupped his hands and easily caught them, looking at Kurt’s father, Burt.

“Dad, why did you purchase a boat?” Kurt asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Burt chuckled and looked at the two of them. “In the summer, we go to the lake. So, we got a boat.”

Kurt eyed him suspiciously. “Just you and Carole? I can’t imagine her asking for a boat.”

“Hey, Finn and Rachel went with us last year,” Burt said, smiling more and continuing to wash his boat.

Blaine smiled a little and looked at Kurt, who was rolling his eyes at father’s excuses.

“Make sure he doesn’t get lost,” Burt said, glancing up at the two of them again.

“We have directions, dad, and I did use to live here. Bye,” Kurt said, pulling Blaine towards the car.

Blaine, being the gentleman that he was being paid to be, opened Kurt’s door and promptly shut it once Kurt was safely inside. Kurt didn’t know if Blaine did it to impress his father or if he just normally did that for his dates. He watched as Blaine made his way around the front of the car and popped into the driver’s seat. They backed out of the drive way and headed off towards the bar that Kurt was supposed to be at in about fifteen minutes.

“So, are you ever attracted to your clients?” Kurt asked, curiously.

“Look, I know you’re interested in what I do, but I really can’t discuss other clients,” Blaine said, loosely holding onto the steering wheel and glancing at Kurt.

Kurt laughed. “Come on! How many of them want to sleep with you?”

Blaine didn’t answer him. He just kept quiet until they reached the bar that Kurt had described. He put the car in park and looked at Kurt who was staring intently at the building. You could tell by the way the anxiety was written on his face that he really didn’t want to go in there. Blaine grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it. “Are you ready for this?”

Kurt nodded and looked at Blaine. “But first, I want you to show me,” he said, getting out of the car and walking over to Blaine’s door.

“Kurt,” Blaine sighed, watching him practically run around the car to open Blaine’s door. “I’m not doing this.”

Kurt scoffed, “please, you’re like the Yoda of escorts. Getting you on the phone was harder than getting into college.”

Blaine smiled a little at the reference. “No, I don’t play games. No gimmicks,” he started. “It’s much more…”

Kurt watched his face. He was trying to think of the proper word. “Subtle?” Kurt supplied, with a slight smirk of his own to match Blaine’s.

“It’s not about me. It’s about you,” Blaine answered, pointing at Kurt for emphasis.

“Come on, show me,” Kurt smiled, pulling Blaine out of the car and setting his things on the roof.

Blaine sighed again and shut the door. “What’s holding me back… I think it’s the words ‘morally repugnant’,” he said, smirking.

Kurt couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. “Show me.”

Blaine looked at Kurt, seriousness in his eyes. The look made Kurt falter slightly. He felt Blaine’s hand push on his abdomen and his back was colliding into the car with a soft thud.

“Close your eyes,” Blaine whispered, stepping closer to Kurt, so there was barely any room between them.

Kurt simply stared at him, not really sure what to do or how to react to what was going on. His eyes were wandering around, looking as if he was trying to call for help.

“Close. Your. Eyes,” Blaine punctuated, his face so close to Kurt’s that he could feel his breath hitting his cheeks.

He closed his eyes and waited. He didn’t know what he was waiting for and Kurt did have to admit that he was incredibly excited about all of this. He couldn’t see anything that Blaine was doing. He just knew that Blaine was still standing incredibly close to him because he could feel the heat from Blaine radiating off of him.

“You’re safe. You can relax,” he heard Blaine say. “I’m not gonna kiss you.”

Kurt didn’t really think about that. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Ever since he first saw Blaine, he did have to admit that he imagined what it would be like to kiss him. His lips were so full and luscious and… kissable. He was slightly disappointed in that statement and hoped to god that Blaine was lying and was actually going to kiss him. His night would at least be off to a good start.

“He’s going to be sorry he lost you.”

Kurt felt a hand gently slide up the left side of his body, sending shivers all over. Had he really wanted this? Why did he keep pestering Blaine about it? The hand stopped when it reached his neck and it lightly gripped just below Kurt’s hair line behind his ear. He didn’t know what to do. He leaned his head into the touch and his chin collided softly with Blaine’s cheek.

“So, stop worrying. Forget the past. Forget the pain. And remember,” Blaine whispered, bringing his thumb under Kurt’s chin and propping it up slightly, “what an incredible person you are.”

Kurt’s body noticed when Blaine removed his hand and he almost whimpered. What had Blaine just done to him? Why did Kurt feel like he needed to take a shower?

“If you do that, he’ll realize what he lost.”

Kurt’s eyes flew open. “Holy crap. You’re worth every penny,” he blurted, staring into Blaine’s honey colored eyes.

Blaine simply leaned against the car next to Kurt and looked at him. A few moments of silence passed until Blaine spoke again. “You should get going.”

Kurt nodded, not moving off of the car. “Mhm… okay, Yoda.”

A few moments had passed before Kurt even tried to move. His legs were slightly wobbly and his brain was still foggy with the details of what he had just experienced. He propelled himself off of the car and started walking forward before he felt Blaine’s hands grab either side of his arms and turn him to face a different direction and gently push him towards the correct building.

Kurt had successfully made it to the door. It had taken him a while seeing as he was still trying to process everything Blaine had said and done to him while he was pressed up against the car. He took a deep breath and walked into the bar. He made his way towards the back where he heard the girls’ squealing. He spotted Santana first and she grinned wickedly at him and motioned for him to sit next to her.

“So, how’s Blaine?” she asked, handing Kurt a drink.

“Good,” he said, taking a sip and noticing the look she was giving him. “What?”

“What do you mean ‘good’? God, Hummel, can’t you give me anything juicy?” she asked, exasperated.

“I’m sorry, Santana. Did you want to hear about sex or about how he’s really doing?” Kurt asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Don’t start, Hummel,” she stated flatly.

Kurt smirked and then felt something hitting his shoulder. He turned around to see Blaine, smiling and holding something in his hand. “You, uh, forgot this.”

He smiled. “Silly me.” he reached out and took the wallet he had obviously left on the roof of the car. “Where was my head?”

“I’ll see you later,” Blaine said, placing a kiss on Kurt’s cheek and turned to leave. He was immediately stopped by Santana placing her hand on his chest. When had she gotten up?

“Listen, why don’t you stay and have a little fiery drink with us?” she said, smirking.

He turned back to Kurt, who nodded before looking at Rachel. She nodded and muttered her permission. Kurt felt bad and he was certain Blaine did too. This was Rachel’s party after all.

Blaine made the rounds, speaking with almost every woman who had been invited. Kurt watched on along with Santana and Rachel. Blaine was chatting up a few of the women while the others stared shamelessly from afar. He felt a nudge on his side and he turned his head to the left towards Santana who was looking at him and then looked back to Blaine.

“Can you believe that Kurt gets to fuck this guy?” she asked, shoving her hand into the bowl of cashews she was holding. She popped the contents into her mouth and started chewing.

Kurt rolled his eyes and chuckled, bringing his drink to his lips and taking a quick sip.

“No, really, you should send God a bottle of wine… or a quiche, or something,” she said, shoving more cashews into her mouth. She was admiring the view of Blaine from behind and sighed, “look at those buns… fresh from the bakery.”

Kurt chuckled and turned slightly, placing his drink on the bar behind him, and turning back, heading towards Blaine. He sidled alongside of him and whispered into his ear, “must feel great, getting paid just to be you.”

“Who says I’m being me?” Blaine asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Excuse me.”

Kurt looked over and saw Rachel. He plastered a large, fake smile on his face and patted her arm gently as she brought her drink back to her lips.

“Oh, Rachel, thank you for granting me a rare glimpse into a timeless female ritual,” he smiled, raising his drink in the air. “Here’s to the husbands who’ve won you, the losers who’ve lost you, and the lucky bastards who’ve yet to meet you.”

The girls raised their glasses, cheered, and clapped at Blaine’s toast and Kurt just laughed along with them. It was actually a pretty great toast.

“And to the cock in the hen house!” Rachel shouted, laughing, and pointing at Blaine.

The placed erupted with laughter and Kurt quickly linked his arm with Blaine’s as he walked him towards the exit. Before Blaine walked out, he turned and placed a small peck on Kurt’s lips. Kurt knew they had to make it look like they were dating, so he had been expecting something. He heard a bit of whooping and he turned slightly, seeing Santana with the straw of her drink between her teeth and winking at him.

Kurt took the opportunity and closed the gap between him and Blaine. He wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck and pulled his face to his, crashing their lips together. He felt Blaine’s arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, and Kurt heard the cheering. He pulled away and smiled at Blaine before letting go of him and watching him walk out of the bar.

Kurt turned around again and was met by Santana who slung an arm around his shoulders. “I can’t believe you found him first. God, I am so depressed; will somebody buy my hoo-hah a drink?” she shouted, slightly drunk seeing as she was talking about Kurt’s ‘boyfriend’ in a way that made it seem like she wanted to sleep with him.

“Are you positive that you’re a lesbian?” Kurt asked, laughing loudly.

“Shut it, Hummel,” she said, bumping his hips with hers.

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Kurt didn’t know how long they had been there. He had lost track of the time since Blaine had left and he certainly didn’t know how much he had to drink. Well, he knew that he had more than three. Maybe four or five… at least five. Kurt wasn’t one to go and get drunk but this weekend was different. He knew he was going to have to let loose at some point and apparently this party was the place. He gripped the glass in his hand and stared intently at it. He didn’t even know what he was drinking. Santana just kept handing him drinks and if they were whatever she was drinking, who the hell knows what he had.

It wasn’t like him to just go and get drunk. Yes, he had been drunk at least once in his life, but he was never one to just go and actually get so drunk that he didn’t know what time it was or how much he'd had to drink. He looked around the bar and saw some of the girls hanging on a few men that were there, some were dancing and then he looked towards the end of the bar. Santana was there and she was chatting up a blonde girl. He smiled to himself. He was glad that Santana might be having a good night. She deserved it. He kept looking at the blonde girl and he squinted. He knew her. Not only that… he had dated her.

“Brittany?”

The girl turned and looked at Kurt, a grin spreading across her face. “Unicorn!” she shouted, running to him and throwing her arms around him.

He returned the hug and looked at her. “How have you been? Have you been here the whole time?” he asked.

“I was just in the corner making friends with the mice,” she said, smiling brightly at him.

“Mice? Brittany, have you been drinking?” he asked, his speech slurring.

“No,” she answered plainly.

Kurt pursed his lips and nodded his head. Yep, still same old Brittany. He could always count on her not changing. It was actually refreshing. When they two of them had dated, Kurt hadn’t yet come to terms with the fact that he was gay and she really did help him see that he was. He still didn’t know if she understood that conversation to this day, but she didn’t seem to think about it throughout the rest of high school.

“Brittany! Hey, girlfriend! How’s it going?” Rachel shouted, slinging her arm around Kurt’s shoulders, almost knocking him onto the bar.

He glanced up at the bartender and looked at him apologetically. He just shrugged his shoulders and Kurt ordered Rachel another shot before he turned back to face her and he instantly went into best friend mode. He could see her bottom lip starting to quiver and she was trying to hold back the tears that had formed in her eyes.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she muttered, not taking her eyes off of the bar.

“The shot of tequila?” he asked.

“No! The wedding,” she said, looking up at Kurt wide eyed and afraid. “I shouldn’t be allowed to get married. I shouldn’t.”

He leaned forward and placed his hand on her knee, gently squeezing it. “What are you talking about?”

Rachel had opened her mouth and had started to say something when the dance music came back in full swing and she was pulled away by Santana and the other girls to dance the night away.

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They had left the bar and were now crowded into a limo that Rachel had rented for herself. Kurt wasn’t surprised really. He was expecting Rachel to hire herself a plane to cart her around in. The limo was actually discreet, which wasn’t Rachel at all. He had asked the driver to stop at the nearest ATM. Santana winked at him and immediately started grilling him about why he needed to go to the ATM in the first place when they had a fully stocked limo before them. He simply smirked at her and waved away her questions, along with the other girls.

The girls were all whooping at him as he attempted to crawl out of the limo when it came to a stop. He glared down at his waist where the seat belt was still buckled. He felt someone else unbuckle it and he almost tumbled out of the car and onto the pavement. The girls were still yelling and shouting at him when he stumbled his way over to the ATM and shoved his first card in. He hit the maximum withdrawal and did the same with the rest of his cards until he had a huge wad of money shoved into his wallet, which was ready to burst at the seams.

He walked back to the limo and met Santana on her way out of the limo. “Where ya going?” he slurred.

“I don’t feel well. I’m going home,” she said, kissing his cheek and clutching onto a wine bottle along with her purse.

Kurt fell into the limo seat and pulled the door closed after him. A few girls were standing and hanging out of the sun roof while he and Rachel were hanging out of the window and laughing at Santana, who was currently walking backwards in her heels and pointing at the limo.

“Ladies, that was a fantastic night. Fantastic!” she shouted, striking a pose on the sidewalk, almost dropping the wine bottle.

“You rock, Santana!” Rachel shouted, as the limo sped off.

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The rest of the limo ride was filled with laughter, tears, and drinking. Kurt didn’t really notice how incredibly clichéd the entire night had been but he did have a fun time. He clambered up the front steps to his old house and felt his way into the kitchen. He didn’t know what time it was and he didn’t really care. He had never gone out when he was younger and stumble in trying not to wake his parents. He was in his twenties now, why couldn’t he do it now and fill those lost moments of his teen years?

He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the tap. He probably should have been drinking water along with his liquor the entire night, but he hadn’t. He really was drunk. Kurt was never one to stumble in and out of places. He always had his best posture and his best look about him. Tonight, that was different. He was slurring and groping walls everywhere he went to make sure that he wouldn’t fall on his face.

He brought the glass to his lips and took a sip of the cold liquid. He held the glass there for a few moments until he brought it back to rest on the counter top. He looked out of the window and smiled. Turning on his heel, he walked through the house until he reached the bottom of the stairs. He stared up at them dauntingly. This was going to be interesting.