5

Alone in this house again tonight

I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine

Theres pictures of you and I on the walls around me

The way that it was and could have been surrounds me

Ill never get over you walkin away

Seven weeks, six days, thirteen hours ago.

That was the last time he'd seen Blaine.

They hadn't crossed paths when Blaine had packed his last things and had left him his keys, they hadn't communicated in any way to decide what to do about the expenses of the house.

Kurt had no idea how his husband was, where he lived, or with whom he lived with.

He had no idea if their situation was definite.

Blaine had told him he needed some time. How much? Kurt had no idea.

His father had called a couple of days earlier to tell him that he'd met Blaine for coffee. That younger man had wanted to apologized to him over his disappearance and for how things were between them.

It was clear- Kurt was the only one who wasn't allowed to talk to him.

That was ok with him, it really was, but he was becoming more impatient by the day.

His heart and mind were at war.

If a part of him kept telling himself that Blaine had waited for him, for a year, another part was more scared. Scared that waiting was the wrong thing to do. Terrified that the more time they let pass, the harder it would be to fix things.

He had to fight everyday to stop himself from visiting Blaine at his clinic. He wanted to see him so desperately it hurt. A peek would be enough, just to make sure he was ok. But he knew he had to wait. He knew he owed Blaine that much.

Now, two months later, his control was beginning to slip.

He'd moved on with his life, he'd found a job as editor for an online magazine, he'd gone out with Rachel and Santana a couple of times, but it wasn't the same. Nothing was right.

Kurt was missing the spark that ignited his life.

So he started walking to Central Park every Sunday morning. At the bench he knew was Blaine's favorite, fearing and hoping at the same time to meet him.

Nothing had happened.

After the third month, he decided that it was time to take matters in his own hands.

If Blaine didn't want to make the first move, it was fine. It would have been up to Kurt to force him to talk to him again.

He'd go find his husband, after hours at the clinic, he decided one night. They would talk, and maybe they would yell, and surely they would fight. But everything would be better than this hideous silence.

Decision made.

A phone call changed everything.

The clock on the nightstand showed it was barely 4AM, when the shrill sound of the phone woke him with a start.

Kurt knew, a late night phone call, couldn't bring any good news.

He'd learned that lesson when he'd been eight, and the phone had rang through the silent house, to announce that his mother was no longer with them.

Or ten years later, when Burt had called at 2AM, to tell him to pack, because his brother Finn had been in an accident.

So Kurt knew, without a doubt that whatever the reason, phone call in the middle of the night would hurt him in some way.

He wasn't wrong.

The phone kept ringing.

Kurt sat up in the middle of the bed, his heart pounding in his chest. A million questions raising in his mind.

What if it was about his father? He asked himself. What if Burt had another heart attack? What if this time he hadn't survived?

He reached for the phone, his hand trembling.

“Hello?” he asked warily.

“Mr. Hummel?” asked a tired voice on the other side of the line.

“This is him,” he replied while his sleepy brain tried to make sense of the words he was hearing.

“Mr. Hummel” the woman continued. “My name is Beth, I'm calling you from the Lenox Hill hospital. We've admitted a couple of hours ago a Mr. Blaine Anderson? You were listed as an emergency contact. Is that correct?”

“I...” Kurt stopped, incapable of going on. All his brain could process was that Blaine was in a hospital, most likely injured. Fear gripped every part of him leaving him breathless. It was 4AM and Blaine was in a hospital, it was 4AM and Kurt had no idea how to snap out of his own mind.

“Is he ok?” he finally asked in a whisper. Because it couldn't be, could it? If Blaine was dead, he would have known. He would have felt it.

He would have recognized a world without Blaine. The earth would have stopped moving, and the sun shining. His heart would have broken into a million pieces.

He would have felt it.

“Your husband is stable,” the woman, Beth, answered. “But we need you to come here as soon as possible. There are decisions to make, and the doctors need to talk to you.”

“What happened, why was he admitted? I don't understand..” he murmured confused. “It's the middle of the night, what happened?” he asked again.

“Mr. Hummel, your husband was found unconscious in his office. The night guard called for an ambulance. It seems he was assaulted.”

It was becoming harder by the second to breath. Kurt tried to keep control of himself,  to let fear not get to him.

Because after all Blaine was alive.

“I'll be right over,” he said almost on autopilot. “I'll be right over.”

He couldn't remember much of the ride to the hospital. He didn't remember calling Rachel, who'd been there waiting for him when he arrived.

“Have you heard anything?” he asked almost jumping out of the taxi and running towards the admittance desk.

Rachel shook her head.

“They wouldn't tell me anything, I'm not a family member.”

Her voice seemed to be resigned and Kurt knew why. Because they were family. Him, Rachel and Blaine had been friends since high school. They'd always been there for each other. To deny Rachel that information was like they had denied him.

“Blaine Anderson?” he asked to the girl behind the desk, panic running through his veins. Because in the forty minutes it took him to get to the hospital everything could have happened.

The woman looked at him.

“Your name, Sir?”

“Kurt Hummel-Anderson” he answered. He didn't often use his entire name, but he was sure this way, he'd get to Blaine faster.

The nurse caught his relationship with Blaine immediately.

“Your husband is stable, Mr. Hummel.” She moved her gaze to the double door that led inside the Emergency room. “Here's Dr. Miles” she announced watching the man getting closer. “He's the doctor who took care of you husband. Dr. Miles, this is Mr. Hummel-Anderson. Mr. Anderson's husband.”

The man, not a day over fifty, with thick black glasses and grey hair, approached him with a worried look.

“How's my husband?” Kurt asked hoping to get more information this time.

“Your husband's condition is severe, but he is stable” the doctor answered, rubbing his eyes. “When he was brought in, he had multiple contusions which were most likely caused by a serious beating. We weren't sure how serious his condition was, but after a thorough examination we were able to discern some internal bleeding and stop it, he also had several bones broken and they ones that needed to be set have been. If things go as predicted your husband will recover completely. It will take time, and patience, but he will get there.”

Kurt inhaled deeply, and for the first time in an hour he finally felt like he could breathe. Only when he felt Rachel grabbing him by the waist he realized his knees had given out.

“Can I see him?” he asked fighting his weakness.

The Doctor nodded showing him the way.

“Room 301. You have ten minutes, after that you can stay the night, but your friend has to go home, hospital policy. The police will probably want your deposition,” he continued but Kurt wasn't listening to him anymore.

Because once he reached the door, the only thing he could hear was the sound of the beeping machines from Blaine's room.

He couldn't see him but he knew Blaine was behind that door. Blaine was there, hurt and unconscious, and Kurt lost his courage.

Rachel held his hand tighter.

“It's going to be fine,” she whispered. “Blaine is strong. He'll pull through.”

But her voice was unsure, and Kurt couldn't find any comfort in her words.

He let go of her and pushing open the door he went in.

The room wasn't much different from any other hospital room. White walls, white curtains, with cabinets. A chair was situated in a corner.

Too many different kind of beeping machines were disturbing the silence. Then his eyes moved to his husband and every other thought disappeared leaving room only to fear and despair.

Blaine looked, as cliché as that sounded, incredibly young in that hospital bed. His curls were covered in blood-stained bandages. His chest, naked, was covered in bruises and wrapped in a tight white stripe that was probably keeping his ribs together.

His hands were scratched, like he'd fought his attacker.

“Oh my God,” he whispered while tears begun streaking his face again. He got close to the bed, taking the man's hand. “Blaine” he cried. “My love, what have they done to you?”

Sobs were know wrecking his body, but he let them free.

Because although Blaine was hurt, he was alive. And seeing him, in that moment, it seemed a miracle.

He couldn't breathe on his own, he noticed looking at the machines that were surrounding him. He touched his face delicately, trying not to disturb him then put a hand on his chest.

He knew there was a machine beeping in time with Blaine's heartbeat, but he needed that contact to reassure himself that Blaine's heart was still beating. That he was still there.

“You'll get better soon, you'll see” he promised. “We'll get you better in no time.”

Then a thought struck him, leaving him breathless.

And what if Blaine didn't want him around for that? What if Blaine was still set on been apart from him? That their marriage was over?

“Blaine?”

Kate's voice brought him back to reality.

She'd entered the room silently, her eyes were full of tears. Kurt couldn't find the words to ease her fears.

“He'll be fine,” Rachel reassured her. And her voice was so sure, Kurt found himself believing her as well.

Then there was silence.

“How has he been?” Kurt asked after a while.

Kate turned her gaze to Blaine then back to him.

“Like you, I'd imagine,” she said. “At first he didn't talk much. He cried and yell, he used to close himself in his room for days. He broke a couple of vases that I loved,” she said with a smile. “I'm sorry I lied to you, when you asked me where he was.” She admitted. “Blaine thought it would be better that way.”

When Kurt didn't say anything she continued. “Lately he's been calmer. Sad, but less desperate. He was making peace with himself. With his mistakes. He was talking about you more.”

Kurt nodded without saying a word.

The truth was, in that moment, he was sure that Blaine was done with him.

He knew, on a purely egotistical level that Blaine crying less meant that he was getting over him. He was getting past their break up and moving on with his life.

“Blaine loves you.”

He shook his head at Rachel's words.

“Love is not enough.”

Love hadn't been able to keep them together. Love had pushed him to make mistakes and had pushed Blaine to let go.

Love in the end, had broke them.

“He loves you” confirmed Kate. “He just needs time.”

Time, time, time.

It was the one thing Blaine had asked. The one thing Kurt was having problems giving.

He was impatient, and he was in love. Kurt didn't want to wait for “soon” or “a year”. He didn't want a “never."

But looking at his husband, broken and unconscious, Kurt was ready to wait an eternity if that's what it took.