12

Can this be real, can this be true?
Am I the person I was this morning?
And are you the same you?
Its all so strange how can it be?
All along this love was right in front of me

The air was crackling with atmosphere when they entered the living room.

The fire was lit, giving the room a soft golden light, their dinner or late lunch, was waiting for them on the table. Kurt had taken the time to dispose the food in different plates, but Blaine knew without a doubt that it was coming from his favorite restaurant.

The TV was on, a movie in stand-by in the DVD player. The screen was still black and he had no idea about Kurts choice. On the couch, waiting for them, there was their favorite plaid. The same one that had seen them together on many romantic date-nights.

"Youve been busy Mr. Hummel" Blaine mused while Kurt helped him get settled on the sofa.

"Its an important night. I wanted everything to be perfect." Despite the beautiful smile, the crack in his voice, showed Blaine exactly how nervous the other man was.

"Dont over-think" he whispered taking his hand. "Its great."

"I know.. I know.. It doesnt have to be perfect. But it has to be special."

That sentence, right there, thought Blaine, was most telling about their history than anything else. For them it had never been about perfection. It didnt matter that their dates went without a hitch. What had always mattered, and still did, was the feeling they put into it.

"It will be" he promised reaching his hand. "Now pass the food. Youve had the nerve to leave me to fend for myself for too long. Im starving!"

"Hey! I was working on our date. And do I have to remind you I filled you with enough pie to last you a year?"

Blaine laughed taking the plate Kurt was handing him.

"Right. Ill have you know Im in constant need of sustenance if I want to heal."

Kurt threw him an unimpressed look and Blaine fought the urge to smile.

"You need to heal, not grow Blaine. And even when the goal was to grow, filling yourself with food, didnt really seem to work."
Blaine opened his mouth in outrage, then closed it again. The silence seemed to stretch for a few second then he smiled.

"Not every part of me has remained small you know?"

He almost cheered watching Kurts face going to white, to pink, to bright red. It was incredible, being able to affect him still, after all this time, after everything. It was the best feeling in the world.

Kurt seemed too shocked to retort and Blaine went happily back to his food, convinced that hed won the first round.

"So.." he asked trying to break through Kurt. "Which movie did you pick?"

Kurt seemed to finally rouse himself from his thoughts and smiled.

"It wasnt easy" he announced. In his voice, was an emotion that Blaine hadnt seen for a while. Pride and anticipation. Excitement. "Ive thought about it all morning, and the result is.." he pressed play on the remote, and let the movie speak for itself.

Never, not in a million years, Blaine would have thought about that movie. It was like going back fifteen years, to a conversation hed never forgotten.

Back then, hed been an awkward oblivious kid, who was too stupid to see the love in his best friends eyes. "It will be like When Harry met Sally" Kurt had told him, and hed been right.

Luckily, itd taken them less time to figure things out. They hadnt really needed years, and different relationships to understand that they were made for each other.

Blaine had married his best friend, and it was sad to think, that recently hed lost sight of that.

"You couldnt have chosen anything better" he whispered bringing his eyes back to Kurt again. The other man seemed to relax instantly. The tension on his shoulder lifting completely and it was only then that Blaine realized how nervous hed been.

"Im glad" Kurt sighed, resting his head on the back of the couch and looking at him sideways. "I was afraid it was too much. I dont want you to think that Im trying to recreate the past. Its not what I want. I want us to start again. The Kurt and Blaine that we are now. With all our problems, and our experiences, but with the feeling weve been keeping with us since the beginning. If that makes sense."

"It does" Blaine smiled. "Its perfect."

Kurt took his hand.

It was becoming easier, he noticed, starting any physical between them.

Where before there was insecurity and fear, now Kurt could feel hope blossoming.

The ate like that, their plates resting on their legs, their hands still held together. The movie went on, filling the room, and covering a peaceful silence. There was no need to talk between them, it wasnt the moment.

They were both lost in each others presence, in the overwhelming want to be together.

Towards the middle of the movie, Blaine moved, cuddling close to Kurt. It didnt matter that his legs were hurting like hell, and that his back was going to kill him eventually. He simply had to.

He rested his head on Kurts shoulder, feeling the other man pressing closer and holding his hand tighter.

Then final scene arrived and everything seemed to flame in its intensity.

It wasnt hard for Blaine to understand Harrys reasons. To understand that no matter the fears he felt, there was something stronger urging him to risk his own heart. The scene in front of him felt so true, it knocked him breathless for a moment.

He remembered it word for word.

"I love that you are cold when there are 71 degrees outside" he whispered in time with the character on the movie. It was true to Kurt too. Always dressed in a thousand layers, even when outside it was melting. He felt Kurt tense beneath him, but continued. His eyes never leaving the screen. "I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich." He felt Kurt laugh and smiled. They both knew that eating outside meant spending at least forty minutes raiding the menu for something to eat. Vegetarian, healthy. Possibly bio. It went without saying, that they werent always lucky. "I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when youre looking at me like Im nuts" he whispered. It was an expression he knew too well. During their worst and silliest fights, Kurt always had this look on his face, like he was treading with a psyco.

"I love that after I spend a day with you, I can still smell your parfume on my clothes."

Kurt always smelled wonderful. Clean and fresh and so unique. "And I love that youre the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night." His voice was barely above a breath now and he felt his eyes fill with tears.

"And its not because Im lonely, and its not because its New Years Eve. I came here tonight, because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" he finished. Blaine realized in that moment, that Kurt wasnt looking at the screen anymore, but right into his eyes. He was on the verge of tears, and his blue eyes were full of worry.

"I thought Id stopped loving you" he admitted lowering his eyes. Itd been one of the worst moment of his life; when hed lost fate in everyone and everything, but saying it outloud? It filled him with more shame and despair he could have ever imagine.

"Did you?" Kurt asked, his voice broken.

"No" he answered so fast there was no denying the truth in his words. "No, never. I realized it the night of the beating. When the only thing in my mind, was to see you one last time before I died. To be able to hear your voice again, to breathe your smell in the air. Its the reason why I came home to you. The very reason why I gave us another chance" he finished. He could feel the tears streaming down his face but it didnt matter anymore. He held Kurts hand in his. "I dont care anymore" he breathed. "I dont care about being independent, or live for our marriage. I dont want to live without you" he chocked.

"Blaine.."

Kurt dropped his hand and Blaine panicked for a moment, but then his hands returned, and he found himself enveloped in Kurts arms; tight in his embrace.

"Well find a way" Kurt promised hugging him tighter. "It doesnt have to be like before. When we broke up.. It made me realize some things as well. I realized that we were drifting apart, and I was closing myself to you. I dont want to be like that again. I want this to be our life, our marriage. I want us to get back on out feet and live a better life than before. I want the life weve talked about for so long, not the jobs and our careers. But a family thats our own and the kids we always said wed adopt."

"You still want that?" Blaine asked then, lifting his eyes.

"I can think of nothing else" Kurt admitted with a smile.

And Blaine finally let go.

He reduced the distance, pressing his lips to Kurts. The kiss wasnt desperate, or full of fears, like the one theyd shared the night before. This kiss was finally... finally.. a pure expression of love.

Because they could both feel it, from that moment on, the future theyd so desperately wanted. Finally happening.

Because theyd lost each other, and by some miracle, theyd been able to find themselves again.

And like everything else their chemistry came back too. The raw need to able to share their feelings through their touch.

Blaine felt Kurt answering his kiss immediately. He felt Kurts hands cup his face, almost trying to keep him from moving. Like he was afraid that Blaine might change his mind.

Nothing could have been further from the truth.

Blaines hand, that was resting against his husbands heart, moved lower, reaching for his hips. Borrowing under the shirt he was wearing.

It was Blaines favorite, he thought vaguely. Kurt had always worn it, when hed wanted to get his husbands attentions.

Without breaking the kiss, he caressed his back and encouraged him closer. He needed to feel him. He needed to feel Kurt against him, around him. Down to his very soul.

"Kurt" he whispered moving away just for a moment, but whatever hed been about to say, was lost in another kiss.

It was like being sixteen again, he thought. When watching a movie had been code for making out on the couch for hours. In a house, blessedly often empty.

Moving on instinct, he reached out, grabbing Kurts shirt and yanking him on himself.

But the pleasure that gesture brought, didnt last long. Because in their journey back to their teenage selves, theyd forgotten all about the reason Blaine was there in the first place. His legs.

"Ouch!" he hissed breaking the kiss. Kurt stopped suddenly, shifting his weight.

"Oh My God, Blaine" he yelped sitting back.

"Where are you going?" he complained, trying to reach for Kurt with one hand and less the pain in his legs with the other.

"We were about to mess up with your recovery." Kurt accused moving further away. The anxious expression on his face told Blaine that the mood was effectively broken.

"Im a doctor, trust me. There was nothing dangerous in what we were about to do."

He tried to move closer but Kurt moved away completely standing beside the couch.

"No.. No.. Blaine, I have no intention of hurting you."

"Kuuuurt" he wailed. But Kurt just pointed his hands on his hips and Blaine knew he was done. He sighed.

"Fine.." he conceded. "But please, sit back beside me?" he asked with the best puppy eyes he could master. He knew it would work, and he wasnt disappointed.

"Fine.." Kurt muttered sitting back down. "But you better keep your hands to yourself."

Blaine took his hand and sighed, relieved. He moved slowly, resting his head against Kurts shoulder, letting the heat of the other man sink into his bones. Warm his very core.

They were fine, he thought looking at the expression of love and happiness lighting Kurts face.

They were going to be just fine.