Monday:

*books fall*

Teen Gay: Shit, sorry.

Teen Gay #2: *sighs* Whatever.

Teen Gay: Here let me help you.

Teen Gay #2: Thanks.

Teen Gay: Here you go. *eyes meet*

Teen Gay #2: Thank yo- *brain fart, blinking*

Teen Gay: No problem. *slow smile* What’s your name?

Teen Gay #2: Uh, … Kurt. My name is Kurt.

Teen Gay: Nice to meet you Kurt. I’m Blaine. I’m also horribly late for History, hence the haste that led to the bumping.

Kurt: Huh?

Blaine: The bumping? When I knocked all the books out of your hand? That happened like… 45 seconds ago?

Kurt: Oh duh. Of course…

Blaine: …

Kurt: …

Blaine: I’m still late.

Kurt: Right. Thanks for the help.

Blaine: Yeah, we’ve covered that.

Kurt: See you around.

Blaine: See you, Kurt.

 * * *

Monday After Lunch:

Kurt: SWEET JESUS MERCEDES. IF I COULD TALK IN CAPS LOCK WITHOUT ACTUALLY YELLING, I WOULD BE NOW.

Mercedes: What happened?

Kurt: A GUY BUMPED INTO ME AND KNOCKED MY BOOKS TO THE GROUND.

Mercedes: So these are rage!caps?

Kurt: …What? No. He helped me pick up my books.

Mercedes: So they are caps celebrating the kindness of humanity?

Kurt: Huh?

Mercedes: I am so confused.

Kurt: So am I. What are you talking about?

Mercedes: What are you talking about?

Kurt: I’m talking about Blaine, possibly the sexiest guy ever, who bumped into me and knocked the books out of my hands.

Mercedes: Oooh.

Kurt: Yeah. *sighs*

Mercedes: That’s really sad.

Kurt: What?

Mercedes: You did hear yourself, right? A guy knocked the books out of your hands, helped you pick them up and now you’re sighing dreamily about him.

Kurt: Uh-huh. Your point?

Mercedes: Kurt, he’s just some random!

Kurt: Yeah, but you didn’t see his smile.

Mercedes: Oh lord.

Kurt: I swear he had just put in eye drops or something, because his eyes sparkled.

Mercedes: Please stop.

Kurt: And when he turned to leave, he waved at me over his shoulder.

Mercedes: It sounds like true love.

Kurt: If this were a Disney movie, I would be singing about him to some woodland animals by now.

Mercedes: And he would be bragging to his horse about the sexy princess he just helped.

Kurt: You know, I don’t get the feeling that you’re taking this especially seriously.

Mercedes: *pauses. Laughter* Says the one who started the Disney metaphor.

Kurt: Well, it’s true. Disney relationship move surprisingly fast for films that are all about teaching young kids good morals.

Mercedes: Unfortunately, you don’t live in a Disney movie. You live in Lima, Reality.  Now come on, let’s go to Glee so we can sing about Jesus in a toasted sandwich, or whatever we have lined up for this week.

* * *

Tuesday, after school:

Kurt: Non-fat mocha please.

Blaine: Oh, hey, uuuuh, Kurt? Did I get that right?

Kurt: Holy - !

Blaine: Sorry, did I startle you?

Kurt: N-no, I’m OK. Hi, um, Blaine was it?

Blaine: You remembered!

Kurt: It’s hard not to remember the guy who dashed off at the speed of light, after knocking all your books to the ground.

Blaine: You’re missing a vital part of this story! I stopped to help first!

Kurt: I suppose that is crucial to the plot, yes. *grins*

Blaine: Suppose? Without it I come across as a total douche!

Kurt: In all honesty, though, how do I know you are not a total douche? One who appears to be stalking me at my favourite coffee shop?

Blaine: Your favourite coffee shop, huh?

Kurt: By far.

Blaine: … Mine too. Though it’s a recent development.

Kurt: Oh yeah?

Blaine: Yeah. It used to be Javas, up in Westerville, but it’s way too far away to be practical.

Kurt: Ooh, Javas make a good low-cal Caramel Latte.

Blaine: Add an almond biscotti to that and you have yourself the perfect Why-god-is-it-Monday, pick me up.

Kurt: You shouldn’t say such sinful things.

Blaine: Chocolate. Hazelnut. Frappuccino.

Kurt: Stop. For the love of god, stop.

Blaine: *grins*

Kurt: *smiles*

Blaine: …

Kurt: …

Blaine: Do you wanna sit down?

Kurt: Yeah.

Blaine: *sits* So, Kurt. You have a last name?

Kurt: I do.

Blaine: Care to share?

Kurt: Not in the slightest. You could be a serial killer.

Blaine: Blood makes me squeamish.

Kurt: Or a stalker.

Blaine: My attention span is terrible.

Kurt: Or a rapist.

Blaine: I wouldn’t need your surname for that. Just chloroform.

Kurt: Maybe you’re a paedophile.

Blaine: I think you’re older than me.

Kurt: Um… a cyber hacker?

Blaine: Which button is the On-Switch?

Kurt: Identity thief?

Blaine: I’m not hiding from anyone or committing any kind of fraud.

Kurt: Hummel.

Blaine: … I don’t know what that is.

Kurt: My surname.

Blaine: Oh, right. Hummel. Hmm, why does that sound familiar.

Kurt: Because I’m famous.

Blaine: Sure.

Kurt: Well, Tumblr famous.

Blaine: I’m not on Tumblr.

Kurt: You should be.

Blaine: Ah-ha! The lube shop!

Kurt: Excuse you?

Blaine: Your surname! Hummel Lube shop,

Kurt: It’s Hummel Tyres and Lube.

Blaine: *laughs* Yeah. I love driving past that place. Best name ever.

Kurt: My dad owns it.

Blaine: Small town, that makes sense.

Kurt: So what’s your surname?

Blaine: Anderson.

Kurt: Mr Anderson, we meet at last.

Blaine: You’ve seen The Matrix?

Kurt: My step-brother is a fan.

Blaine: But you’re not?

Kurt: I’m not really a sci-fi/action genre kind of guy.

Blaine: But it’s a classic!

Kurt: And thus, I was able to quote it at you.

Blaine: What about Alien? Pitch Black? Bladerunner?

Kurt: Yawn.

Blaine: You wound me, Kurt. Those are some of the best and most awful movies of all time. They’re awesome!

Kurt: Yeah. I believe you.

Blaine: Liar.

Kurt: They’re not my thing, OK?

Blaine: *sighs* So what movies do you like?

Kurt: Anything by Disney. Or with Judy Garland. Or Audrey Hepburn. Also, anything that can be classified as a “musical” in even the vaguest sense of the word.

Blaine: Something’s coming, I don’t know what it is, but it is gonna be great.

Kurt: Westside Story. Nice.

Blaine: Well, it was either that or, “No, Simba. He lives in you.”

Kurt: *laughs* Why?

Blaine: Those were the only two quotes that popped to mind! I don’t function well under pressure.

Kurt: Not that there’s a whole lot of pressure floating around right now.

Blaine: Hey, when talking to an attractive guy, there’s always pressure.

Kurt: *awkward laugh*

Blaine: … So step-bother, huh?

* * *

Tuesday evening:

Kurt: (19:39) [insert awkward first text in which I call you bro/buddy/dude to establish exactly what we are to each other here]

Blaine: (19:47) [insert generic yay lets be friends text here]

Kurt: (19:48) [insert text that quickly changes the direction of the conversation so that we have a reason to stop texting now if we want here]

Blaine: (19:49) [insert text indicating that we can continue texting if you want to, here]

Kurt: (19: 52) [insert smiley face and neutral comment here in the hopes of establishing conversation]

Blaine: (19:53) [insert witty remark that makes you think “what a cool guy” here]

Kurt: (19:56) [insert suitably impressed remark and counter with witty banter here]

Blaine: (19:58) [insert more witty banter heading in the flirting kind of direction here]

Kurt: (20:00) [insert panicky silence as I try to calm the extreme fan boying that’s happening in my head]

Blai

Blaine: (20: 01) [insert relief and patient waiting]

Kurt: (20:02) [insert flirty but playing hard-to-get text here]

Blaine: (20:04) [insert more flirting possibly in the form of compliments here]

Kurt: (20:06) [insert indication that flattery won’t get you everywhere here]

Blaine: (20:07) [insert acknowledgement of this, but continue flattering none-the-less here]

Kurt: (20:10) [insert … um. Can we stop talking like this now? here]

Blaine: (20:11) [insert sexual innuendo inquiring if this is too hard for you, complete with waggly eyebrows here]

Kurt: (20:14) [insert …]

Blaine: (20;14) :D

Kurt: (20:15) I really need to start getting ready for bed.

Blaine: (20:16) But, this conversation just got normal!

Kurt: (20:17) Exactly.

Blaine: (20:19) Fair point.

Kurt: (20:22) So, good night?

Blaine: (20:24) Wait. It’s only 8:30. How early do you go to bed, grand pa?

Kurt: (20:26) I’ll have you know, my perfect ivory complexion takes a fair amount of maintenance to keep looking so baby-bottom soft.

Blaine: (20:26) Heheh.

Kurt: (20:26) What?

Blaine: (20:28) “Baby-bottom soft.”

Kurt: (20:29) It’s just a figure of speech!

Blaine: (20:29) Heh.

Kurt: (20:31) Now you’re just trolling me.

Blaine: (20:31) *bows*

Kurt: (20:32) :/

Blaine: (20:37) So… see you tomorrow? [insert attempt not to sound too eager]

Kurt: (20:38) Yes. [insert attempt not to sound too eager as well, that is kind of squashed by the fact that it took me -5seconds to reply]

Blaine: (20:39) [insert all feelings of Yay here]

Kurt: (20:41) Good night. :)

Blaine: (20:42) Good night, baby face.