Kurt Hummel had just started McKinley High School, He’d prepared for the next four years… harder work, choosing collage, he’d chosen classes he enjoyed AP English, French and Chemistry, Home Economics, Trig and Algebra. He also joined the Glee Club. It was here he met his two besties Rachel and Mercedes.

He hid who he really was from everyone he knew how people like him were treated here in Lima, Ohio. He began to hang out with Mercedes more and more, he was glad to have someone he could gush about how hot Ryan Gosling is, he couldn’t really have that type of discussion with his dad... and since his mother died his dad had been rather distant.

As he spent more time with Mercedes she developed a crush on him, it was at this point when he came out… to himself and to his fellow glee clubbers, the glee club were very accepting. The people outside the glee club however were not.

There was one hulk of a football player, called David Karofsky who had decided to make Kurt's life a living hell, pushing him in to lockers, throwing him in dumpsters and throwing daily slushies’ at him, this made him feel lonely and worthless. One day, after a full day of Karofsky throwing paper at his head (Karofsky seemed to be in most of his classes), he felt really depressed and was full of self-loathing, he hated everything about himself…the way he looked, the fact that he voice hadn’t changed much when it broke, he hated that he was gay, that he wasn’t most of the world’s view of ‘normal’. So when he got home he dug through the bathroom cupboards until he found the small plastic box that held several gleaming silver blades. Kurt carefully took one and replaced the box in the cupboard and went downstairs to his room.

He sat on his bed sobbing for a while he’d tried, to shake off David’s comments, when it first started he could but they’d begun to eat in to him… to break his spirit, was he really as vile and disgusting as David told him he was? Did everyone else think this too? He actually began to think those too he loathed himself. He sat staring at the small silver rectangle in his hand. Tears falling silently down his face, his hands shaking slightly as he pressed the cool metal blade to his delicate pale skin, a thin deep red trail was left behind as he pulled it slowly across his wrist, it stung but he liked the pain, he felt like he deserved it, after all he was a disgusting abnormal little freak.

“Kurt!” Burt called from the top of his stairs “time for dinner”

“I’ll be up in just a second” Kurt replied his voice sounding slightly strangled.

Kurt searched for his favourite long sleeved cardigan. He slipped it on any popped to the bathroom to hide and trace of crying from his face and jogged upstairs.

“You okay kiddo?” asked Burt.

Kurt couldn’t tell his dad he’d overreact and it’d put pressure on his heart and especially now Kurt couldn’t go through that again…

“Yeah, everything’s fine” he lied… he couldn’t tell his dad he just couldn’t.

Months went by the comments got worse, even glee club didn’t help like it used to he used to be able to put all his hurt and pain in the songs he sung in that small red choir room, the only think he took solace in was the small silver blade, most nights after school he’d go down into his room and sit for a little while staring at the little silver rectangle and he’d reflect on the day, on the comments and he would drag the silver blade over his supple skin, he loved how the blood looked as it dripped down his wrist, he loved the fact that he was ‘paying’ for all the inconvenience that he was causing everybody by just merely existing.

He was getting more and more depressed every week, he began to cut every day. He started wearing long sleeved sweaters more often to hide his secret from his dad, he’d kept it up for weeks until one day…

“Hey Kurt pass me the gravy would you?” asked Burt, they were sat at the table having the family dinner with the Hudson’s.

“Here you go dad” said Kurt feigning happiness, then as he passed it over his sleeve snagged on the ladle for the vegetables, revealing his scars for everyone to see Burt stared openly at his sons arm.

He set the gravy down and pulled up Kurt’s sleeve to reveal the numerous red scars on his arm. Burt just looked at him waiting and answer to his question.

“Dad, I’m sorry… I just… I can’t” Kurt yanked his arm free and ran to the toilet crying.

His dad, his dad’s girlfriend and his ex-love interest had found out his secret, the secret he’d managed to keep from even his two best friends… he couldn’t tell his dad why, it would put too much pressure on his heart, he just couldn’t do that, he didn’t want to lose his dad he’s the only family Kurt had left. Just then there was a gentle knock at the door.

“Kurt honey” said Carole “would you please come out, we’re not mad at you and we’re not going to force you to tell us anything just please come back so we can try to understand?”

“Okay give me a minute” said Kurt before drying his eyes and leaving the bathroom.

“Okay just take a seat, you safe word is ‘Vogue’ okay just say it if you don’t want to answer okay” said Carole, Kurt knew she knew how to handle this stuff she did it for a living.

Kurt nodded in agreement.

“Okay so when did you first start?”

“About a month ago”

“Why did you start?”

“Vogue”

“Okay, would you like to tell us anymore tonight?” asked Burt

“No” replied Kurt.

“Okay, well I’m going to make you an appointment with my colleague, Dr Markham, at the clinic Kurt okay it’ll be a weekly thing and everything you say in her office is confidential…okay?”

“errr… Okay” Kurt reluctantly agreed.

That night Kurt cried himself to sleep, now that I was out in the open he was repulsed by what he was doing, he was ashamed of the red marks on his arms that he once found beautiful. His counselling session was due to be tomorrow at half four.

He went to counselling every Tuesday for about a month he began to feel better about himself, Dr Markham never pressured him in to telling her anything, and she provided him with exercises and activities to do and listened when he felt like talking. He began to sing in glee club again, fight Rachel for solo’s, he was still receiving agro from Dave but he didn’t care, he was proud of who he was.

A few weeks after he’d finished counselling, Kurt met Morgan, he started feeling ecstatic, Morgan made him feel special, so he decided to tell his dad and Carole about what started the cutting, he didn’t go into much detail about it… but he still told them.

However after Morgan broke his heart he began having those dark thoughts again but he managed to muster up the strength to not restart, using Dr Markham’s exercises, like looking for one thing that he was looking forward to in the future.

However, one day the exercises weren’t enough, his arms itched for the silver blade, that day he was going to get coffee with Rachel and afterwards he’d decided he was going to cut…

But that day at the coffee shop changed his mind… that trip to the coffee shop, was when he met Blaine… Blaine saved him.