Day 2

Kurt woke up from a restless night’s sleep; he rolled over half expecting to find Blaine next to him. The bed was cold, so he got up took a shower. He dressed himself in his favourite tan corduroys and a plain white shirt. He walked to the kitchen, made a pot of coffee and poured some into a travel mug, grabbing a blueberry bagel from the breadbin as he scooped up his coat and filofax and promptly left the house to catch a cab.

When the cab pulled up outside his office he dug his hands into his pockets to find his wallet and when he pulled it out to pay the cabbie, a small piece of white paper fell to the floor ... Kurt picked it up and left the cab before reading.

Kurt,

Have a good day.

Blaine

Kurt rolled his eyes, that note had just proved his theory that Blaine had hidden a lot more notes like that in his clothes. He entered his building and called the elevator. There was only passenger already in it when it arrived.

“Hey Lotti” said Kurt pulling the familiar girl into a quick hug.

“Hey Kurt!” said Charlotte “Where were you? I missed you yesterday!”

Charlotte was a tall brown-haired girl; she and Kurt were best friends since she’d transferred from British Runway. Kurt and Charlotte had hit it off from the day she started ... they had bumped in to each other in the elevator. She’d complimented him on his recent designs; he’d said how much he loved her article on the Marc Jacobs summer line and that was it, they started talking more, making fun of the people who took the job a little too seriously, laughing at how many times Harriet would say ‘and so on’ in meetings. They became really close friends. Kurt felt like he could tell her everything.

“Oh, um ... can we talk about it in my office? I don’t fancy it going around the building.”

“Oh - yeah, sure.”

~~~

“Okay” said Kurt taking a deep breath when they’d entered his office and shut his door. “Well, remember I’ve told you about Sebastian at Blaine's office?”

“The homophobic dick-sneeze? Yeah.” said Charlotte.

“Well, on Tuesday, when we had to work late, I- I can home t-to find Blaine ... um ... fucking him.”

“Oh, honey,” she said. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I’m taking some time to think ... I just don’t know, Lotti. We were happy - I thought we were.”

“Hun, Blaine loves you, I know he does. Just don’t be too hasty to end it… I don’t think you want to see it end either.” said Charlotte.

“I don’t want it to end - I love him”

“I know, I’m sure you’ll figure out what to do. I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Thanks Lotti, you’re a great friend. Love you!”

“I know.” she said grinning.

“You’re still up for coming to my gig tonight aren’t you?” asked Kurt.

“Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Great - remember 8:00pm, Bar4, Brooklyn. Now I better dash, Harriet wants to see more of my sketches.” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek and leaving his office.

~~~
The remainder of the day was a bit of a blur. Meetings, sketching, Blaine, more meetings, a bit more sketching, Blaine. He couldn’t stop thinking about Blaine. He missed him ... it was weird not waking up next to him for the second day in a row. His mind kept wandering to their first kiss, their first time, their wedding day, buying their first flat.

~~~

It was 7:00pm and Kurt was getting dressed. He slipped on a white shirt and grey waistcoat with a pair of black skinnies and a purple bow tie. He popped in to the bathroom to pick up his compact mirror - he was always keen to make sure he looked perfect when he performed. He promptly left the apartment with Nick and Jeff in tow. They got downstairs and hailed a cab.

“Thanks for coming guys,” said Kurt as he dipped his hands in to his waistcoat pocket and found another note.

Kurt,

Break a leg, you’ll be amazing.

Blaine

Kurt breath hitched, tears springing to his eyes.

“Kurt, are you okay?” asked Jeff, touching his arm.

“Y-yeah,” he stuttered.

“You sure? What’s wrong?”

“Blaine is too adorable.” he sighed.

“What’s he done?” Nick asked. Kurt passed him the note.

“Awww, Kurt.”

“Yeah, I know it’s sweet and cute but it’s making it hard to hate him for what he’s done … I mean, I should really hate him, but I don’t.“

“Kurt, he loves you, and you obviously still love him. I don’t think you actually want to hate him. You want this to all go away, have your marriage back the way it was.”

“I do want to hate him,” said Kurt as his heart whispered you don’t, Kurt “I do. What he did made me feel terrible ... so cheap and worthless. I hate him. But I can’t stop loving him.”

“We know, Kurt - we understand …” said Jeff, as they pulled up outside Bar4.

Kurt walked into the bar leaving Nick and Jeff to go get some drinks, and went to find Rachel pacing backstage.

“There you are! I’ve been worried.” she exclaimed.

“Rach, honey - breathe! I’m three minutes late, the set doesn’t start ‘til eight.” Kurt said in a soft voice.

“But I’m having a panic attack and I needed you … what if I open my mouth and no words come out or-or ...”

“Rachel!” Kurt said, firmly grasping his friend’s arms and shaking her gently. “You are amazing, everyone here will love you. Come on - let’s go get a couple of Bloody Marys to calm our nerves.”

The two of them walked towards the bar.

“I thought I recognised that voice,” a voice equally familiar to Kurt chimed, but he couldn’t quite place it. “Kurt Hummel!”

“I’m sorry,” said Kurt, turning in the direction of the guy speaking. “Do I know you?”

“It’s me - Jeremiah!” the other guy exclaimed.

“Sorry” said Kurt shaking his head - he really didn’t remember this guy at all.

“From the bar on Tuesday?”

“Oh, you!“ he said narrowing his eyes. “What do you want?”

“Oh, nothing ... I guess I was just going to say hi,” Jeremiah smirked, “And if you’re interested, my offer still stands ...”

Jeremiah began to run his hand up and down Kurt’s left arm.

“I. AM. MARRIED. Stop fucking hitting on me!”

Jeremiah scowled and left.

“Who was that?” asked Rachel, two Bloody Marys in hand.

“Just an asswipe I met in a bar, he spoke to me on Tuesday.” said Kurt, taking one of the drinks from Rachel’s hand.

“Oh, right… after you and Blaine -?”

“Yeah,” he smiled sadly.

“Hey Kurt!” said Charlotte, making her way through the crowd.

“Lotti! Hey, this is my high-school friend Rachel,” he said, gesturing and taking a sip of his drink. “Rachel, this is Lotti, my fabulous colleague, and the person who keeps me sane in that mad house we call a workplace.”

“Nice to meet you.” said Charlotte, opening her arms and giving Rachel a quick hug.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a warm Bar4 welcome to Miss Rachel Berry and Mister Kurt Hummel!” said a slender blonde from the stage.

“Break a leg, guys” Charlotte grinned, blowing them a kiss before going to find a table near the front.

Kurt pulled out his compact mirror to check he looked alright before going on stage, but when he opened it he didn’t see his own reflection - he saw a small piece of white paper.

Kurt,

Don’t worry, you look beautiful.

Blaine.

He forced back the tears that threatened to fall and began to walk up on stage giving a small wave to the crowd.

“Hi everybody, I’m Rachel Berry,” she said as Kurt sat down at the piano “To start off this wonderful evening, I’m going to be singing ‘Everybody’s Changing’ by Keane”

Kurt began to play, as he did he scanned the audience, torn between wanting and not wanting to see Blaine there, perhaps seeing his amber eyes locked on him in awe, shining and brimming with adoration, the way they always were when Blaine watched Kurt perform.

“Thank you.” said Rachel, taking her bow.

Kurt switched his microphone on and began to play the opening chords to ‘Breakeven’ by The Script.

“This one is for anyone who has suffered the pain of heartbreak, which I guess is a lot of us.” said Kurt with an uneasy chuckle, earning a gentle laugh from the audience.

He sang, the notes soaring flawlessly from his mouth. It suddenly hit him how well all the songs they’d chosen fitted with his situation at the moment. He glanced around the audience and he swore he saw a flash of Blaine's curls at the back of the room. When his song came to a close, Rachel stepped up to the main microphone and began singing David Guetta’s ‘Without You’. When she’d finished she took her bow, received a loud round of applause and announced a short break.

“Kurt, you are amazing!” Charlotte exclaimed, throwing her arms around Kurt and hugging him.

“Hey, Lotti ... do me a favour - when we go back on, just go see if Blaine is in the back for me. I keep thinking I see him … it’s maddening.”

“On it.” she said, giving a small nod.

“Thanks hun, you’re a star.” he said.

They called up their friend Brad to play piano on the next duet ... it was much easier to sing when they stood facing each other.

“Hey Everyone, we’re back!” this earned them a loud cheer, “We’re going to sing a lovely duet now called ‘A Little Time ’ by The Beautiful South.” said Rachel, taking the mic from the stand and starting to sing.

I need a little time
to think it over
I need a little space
just on my own
I need a little time
to find my freedom
I need a little...

Kurt began to sing, staring out at the audience. He saw Lotti making her way through the crowd to the back, and she stopped and appeared to be talking to someone. Kurt looked to Rachel; he couldn’t help imagining that she was Blaine. This song seemed to mirror their situation so perfectly.

Funny how quick the milk turns sour
Isn't it, isn't it?
Your face has been looking like that for hours
Hasn't it, hasn't it?
Promises, promises turn to dust
Wedding bells just turn to rust
Trust into mistrust

I need a little room
To find myself
I need a little space
To work it out
I need a little room
All alone
I need a little...

You need a little room for your big head
Don't you, don't you?
You need a little space for a thousand beds
Won't you, won't you?
Lips that promise - fear the worst
Tongue so sharp - the bubble burst
Just into unjust

Kurt turned back to the audience and saw a pair of bright, amber eyes staring at him from the far reaches of the room. He knew those eyes, or felt that he once had - he just couldn’t read them any more not like he used to. They’d changed.

I've had a little time
To find the truth
Now I've had a little room
To check what's wrong
I've had a little time
And I still love you
I've had a little...

You had a little time
And you had a little fun
Didn't you, didn't you?
While you had yours
Do you think I had none
Do you, do you?
The freedom that you wanted bad
Is yours for good
I hope you're glad
Sad into unsad
I had a little time
To think it over
Had a little room
To work it out
I found a little courage
To call it off

I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time

Kurt ended the song with tears in his eyes, his vision blurred slightly, but not enough to miss a Blaine-shaped figure leave the bar.

“I’m sorry, Ladies and Gentlemen - we have to take another short break. We’ll be back with our last song shortly.” Kurt choked, dashing from the stage.

He ran into the bathroom only to find Jeremiah kissing his friend Matt. He huffed in disgust, pushed his way into a stall, closed the toilet lid and sat down as he began to sob. He heard some whispering outside the stall.

“Kurt? Hey, are you okay?” asked Jeremiah.

“NO! I’m fucking not, and I swear if you start hitting on me again-”

“Shush Kurt, okay ... I’m not. My guess is your husband turned up, didn’t he?”

Kurt was puzzled. How did Jeremiah know that? He slowly opened the stall door, grabbing a handful of tissues and dabbing at the tear tracks on his face.

“How- how?” stuttered Kurt.

“How did I know?” Jeremiah asked, and Kurt nodded. “Well, you seemed pretty happy singing earlier -adding more stuff on to the never-ending list of your talents - and suddenly you’re dashing in here crying … “

“Yeah, he showed. I didn’t think he would and he did and he was there when I was singing that song and I just-” Tears sprang into his eyes again. “I just can’t look at him right now, not without wanting to cry or throw things”

“I understand. You know, if I were him,” Jeremiah said softly, brushing some hair off Kurt’s face. “I wouldn’t miss a chance to hear you sing … you sound amazing, Kurt.”

Kurt blushed ferociously.

“Thanks, but I thought you weren’t going to hit on me.” Kurt said jokily.

“Hey! I was paying you a compliment.” said Jeremiah, sounding offended.

Kurt smiled.

“Now how about you get your butt out there and finish that set? Come on, Matt and I will come and watch.” said Jeremiah, pulling the other guy away from the sinks.

“Thank you ... you really don’t have to, though.”

“Ah, but I want to Mister Hummel.” said Jeremiah. Kurt looked a little stunned. “Hey, don’t look so shocked, I am a nice guy ... when I’m not hitting on married men.”

Kurt laughed slightly and the three of them walked out of the toilets and towards a distressed-looking Rachel.

“Kurt, give me your arm.” she demanded.

“Rach its fine, I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t even considering it … just relax okay? I saw Blaine at the back, he was staring at me for the whole song … it was all too much. I’m sorry - I’m ready to go back on now.”

“Okay ... sorry. I just don’t ever want you to do that to yourself again, okay?”

“Fine. I’m going to go finish our set so I can go home and sleep!” said Kurt, skipping back onto the stage. “Hello ladies and gentlemen. We've come to our last song of the evening …” The crowd sighed with disappointment “I’m going to sing The Beatles’ ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand'."

Kurt began to sing, and as he did, his mind flew back to when he’d first taken Blaine to visit his mom’s grave.

~~~
It had been a bitterly cold February morning, Kurt and Blaine were dressed smartly (Kurt wanted Blaine to look good the first time he ‘met’ his mom). They wove in and out of the various headstones until they stopped in front of a large marble one with gold leaf lettering, which read:

Elizabeth Katherine Hummel
1971-1999
A Dear Wife, Mother, Sister and Daughter

“Hey, Mom?” said Kurt, kneeling down “I have someone I’d like you to meet - this is Blaine Anderson. He’s my boyfriend!”

Kurt turned his head upwards and beamed at Blaine.

“H-hello, Mrs. Hummel” said Blaine nervously. “N-nice to m-meet you.”

“She really likes you Blaine ... I’ve told her many a good thing.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah of course, there’s nothing bad to say!” said Kurt, nudging his boyfriend.

“Well, I have something to say to her.”

“Go ahead.”

“Mrs. Hummel, your son is amazing and handsome and adorable, and between you and me ...” he said, lowering his voice and cupping his hand to his mouth, “I think I’m falling in love with him.”

Kurt all but leapt on his boyfriend and pressed his lips to Blaine's in a clumsy, needy kiss. Teeth clashed, lips snagged ... when they finally realised air was a necessity and parted, Kurt breathed “I’m falling in love with you too!”

~~~
Kurt finished the song, tears pooling in his eyes.

“Thank you ladies and gentlemen, we’ve been great … GOOD NIGHT!” said Kurt giving the crowd a wink.

This was met with a loud cheer. Kurt climbed off the stage where he was enveloped by six bodies - Jeff, Jeremiah, Lotti, Matt, Nick and Rachel.

“That was amazing, Kurt!” exclaimed Jeremiah.

“Beautiful.” said Lotti.

“Stunning.” chimed Jeff

“Breath-taking.” said Rachel.

“Brilliant” said Matt.

“Dang, I’m out of adjectives!” said Nick. The others laughed.

“Thanks guys,” said Kurt smiling weakly “I'd best be going.”

“Hey Kurt, before you do ... um ... here’s my number, give me a call.” said Jeremiah awkwardly, “Um - as a divorced man, one who went through something similar, I could be a good person to sit and listen … also, if you don’t work things ou-”

“You said you’d stop that,” said Kurt sternly. “But thanks.”

Jeremiah and Matt turned and left.

“Come on Kurt, let’s get you home” said Nick.

“Bye, Lotti. See you at work tomorrow.” Kurt said, embracing his friend.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow” she smiled affectionately.

“Bye Rach, love you!”

“Love you too!” Rachel beamed.

~~~

The ride home was quiet. When they arrived, Kurt went straight to his room and began to undress slowly. His mind kept flickering to Blaine and those stunning amber eyes. He felt his cock growing hard in his pants, pressing against the soft cotton of his briefs. He quickly removed them, wrapped himself in a towel and walked to the bathroom.

He jumped in the lukewarm shower and fisted his thick cock. God, he missed Blaine's hand - it felt so much better than his own. He moved his own hand along his dick, soft, elicit moans tumbling over his lips and off his tongue. He closed his eyes and saw Blaine's staring back at him, piecing his soul, causing the fire to flare up in his belly. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer - it had been a few weeks for him and Blaine and he could see why now… Blaine had already gotten his fill and didn’t need any from Kurt. He was shaken from those thoughts when he felt the hot sticky liquid spurting out over his hand; he stroked himself as he rode his orgasm.

Clean and sated Kurt got into bed, saddened by the lack of Blaine next to him … he was beginning to realise just how much he missed having him there.