Blaine placed his phone on the counter, finished his cereal and then went to take a quick shower. He didn’t think he could face work today, especially since Sebastian would be in, so he decided to call in sick.

“Hi - Dijon?”

“Speaking -how may I help you sir?” said Dijon in his, as Blaine deemed, ‘telephone voice’.

“It’s Blaine-”

“Blaine, dude where are you? It’s almost nine.” Dijon cut in.

“Just patch me through to Jordan, okay?!” Blaine snapped. He really didn’t want to discuss anything, especially not with Dijon - he was the office gossip.

“Okay Mr Grumpy-pants…” teased Dijon

Blaine sat on hold, wondering what Kurt was doing right now. He imagined him sitting alone in Nick and Jeff’s apartment snuggled up in a comforter watching ‘RENT’ … that always made him feel better. He’d have a mug of steaming-hot coffee, maybe some cereal. His hair would be slightly messy (when he didn’t leave the apartment he left his hair ‘bed tousled’). He’d have a box of tissues by his side ready. He’d look so adorable, so beautiful … he always looked beautiful.

“Hello, Blaine.” said Jordan, pulling Blaine from his thoughts.

“Hello sir,” Blaine said, faking a sick voice. It was times like this he was thankful that he was good at acting “I’m ill … a–a-atchew … I think I have a cold. I can’t come in for a couple of days.”

“Oh, but Blaine we need the Lawrence story. I guess I could give it to Sebast-“

“No, no - I’ll be find by Thursday. Please, just hold it off until then. I worked really hard on that article, and I’m not having Sebastian take the credit for my research!”

“Okay Blaine, but it needs to be on my desk by 3pm on Thursday!”

“Yes – yes, it will. Thank you, I’m sorry…”

Jordan hung up the phone leaving a deafening silence to fill the small apartment. Blaine downed the remainder of his coffee, took a quick cool shower, spending most of the time wishing Kurt was with him. He hopped out, dressed himself in sweatpants and Kurt’s favourite hoodie of his and padded around the room.

He missed Kurt. His pillow didn’t smell like him anymore; it smelled of betrayal, loss, bitterness and Sebastian. He quickly stripped the sheets, and threw them out … he didn’t care that they were a tiny bit pricy because he just wanted them out of his house. All they were was a reminder of how he shattered Kurt's heart - he didn’t need that, not with Kurt gone.

He plucked fresh linens from the cupboard and put them on the bed. He glanced at the clock which read 9:36am. He groaned and went to lie on the couch, flicking through the TV channels. After finding nothing to cheer him up he decided to sort through some clothes for Kurt… Nick and Jeff wouldn’t get it right.

He carefully petted all Kurt clothes, all neatly paired up and organised. He picked three great work outfits, making sure that they were perfect. He picked out a white shirt and grey waistcoat with a pair of black skinnies - the ones that made Kurt’s ass look great – as they would be perfect for his and Rachel’s gig the next day. As he began to pack it all into a duffle bag he got an idea, and quickly headed to his desk. He began to write some little notes for Kurt … the little things he would say if he hadn’t fucked everything up and Kurt was still with him.

When he’d finished he’d stuffed them into pockets, hiding them in the outfits Blaine knew Kurt would wear when the notes were meant to be read. He hid one inside the duffle bag, knowing that once Kurt knew he’d packed it he’d look for the note … whenever Kurt went away somewhere Blaine always put a little note to say ‘goodnight’ somewhere in the bag.

~~~

When he’d finished packing Kurt’s bag, he walked out of the room and absentmindedly sat down at the piano and began to play.

I turn the TV off, to turn it on again
Staring at the blades of the fan as it spins around
Counting every crack, the clock is wide awake
Talking to myself, anything to make a sound

I told you I wouldn’t call, I told you I wouldn’t care
But baby climbing the walls gets me nowhere
I don’t think that I can take this bed getting any colder
Come over, come over, come over, come over, come over

You can say we’re done the way you always do
It’s easier to lie to me than to yourself
Forget about your friends, you know they’re gonna say
We’re bad for each other, but we ain’t good for anyone else

I told you I wouldn’t call, I told you I wouldn’t care
But baby climbing the walls gets me nowhere
I don’t think that I can take this bed getting any colder
Come over, come over, come over, come over, come over

We don’t have to miss each other, come over
We don’t have to fix each other, come over
We don’t have to say forever, come over
You don’t have to stay forever, come over

He missed Kurt. He missed him a lot. He really wished Kurt would just walk through the front door, throw his arms around Blaine and kiss him. Tell him everything was going to be okay, and that he loved him, that he would try to forgive him and that they could patch things up. Blaine knew that could all just be wishful thinking, because he’d been unfaithful, and really, really hurt Kurt. He’d seen it in his eyes when they had the fight - all the pain, the horror, the disgust in his eyes, was niggling at Blaine's conscience.

Come over, come over, come over, come over, come over.
Come over, come over, come over, come over, come over.

Blaine finished the song, tears streaming down his cheeks. He’d really messed up everything. Why did he go with Sebastian to the gay bar? Why did he let Sebastian take him back to his place? Why didn’t he tell Kurt after it had happened? Why did it continue?

~~~

He made himself a smallish lunch … he’d lost his appetite, so he ate two bites of a cheese sandwich and half a banana, poured himself another cup of coffee and went to sit down on the sofa. He tried to write a little of the Lawrence story, but whenever he thought he was on a roll his mind would wander to what Kurt was doing. It was lunch time so he probably was munching on a light salad, sketching a few designs, chewing on his pencil softly. Maybe tapping rhythms on his pad as he thought about what visions he had, the outfit compositions, maybe a few interviews with some designers.

When Blaine had eaten he lay down on the sofa and fell asleep. He was roused by Nick and Jeff knocking at the door.

“Hey buddy” said Nick, smiling apologetically.

“So I guess Kurt told you?”

“Yeah, he did.” Jeff cast his eyes downward. “Um - we’re here to get some clothes”

“Oh … yeah. It’s all packed on our bed”

“Blaine,” said Nick. “Kurt loves you, he really does … just give him time. He- he just needs to figure out what to do.”

“Okay. Yeah … I know.” Blaine said, fighting back the urge to cry.

“Hang in there, man.” said Jeff, slinging the bag over his shoulder and walking Blaine over to the couch. “Whatever happens, everything will get better.”

“It won’t if I’m not with him anymore. I love him. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved …” said Blaine, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

“We know … he knows. Just give him time and space, Blaine. We have to go …”

“Oh, yeah. Kurt will be making you something lovely. He loves cooking dinner” said Blaine, as he bid farewell to his friends.

~~~

Blaine was sitting on the sofa but his eyes weren’t focused on the television set - they were staring at the picture next it. The picture was of him and Kurt on the happiest day of his life. Kurt was smiling out at him in his cream suit, looking so great; Blaine loved seeing Kurt in that suit. He still remembered the butterflies he felt in his belly when he turned and saw Kurt being walked down the aisle by his father. Blaine beamed as he saw their life together flash before his eyes … children … a nice city apartment. He never thought it would crash around him like this. A loud knock at the door shook him out of his thoughts.

“Sick are you?” snapped Sebastian when Blaine opened the door, shoving past him into the apartment.

“Yes, I am as a matter of fact. I’m sick of you! I’m sick just thinking about what we did - how I broke the heart of the only man I ever truly loved!”

“That’s not you said three weeks ago at the bar!”

“You got me fucking drunk! I was so goddamn wasted; I didn’t even know what I was saying! Just go … leave me alone and never call me again!” yelled Blaine.

“Fine … but you’ll be begging for me in a few days - begging for my dick.” Sebastian smirked.

“I won’t - you weren’t even that great! Kurt makes me feel so much better than you ever did.”

“When will you quit lying, Blaine? I know I make you feel good, otherwise why would you keep inviting me back?”

“I- uh- um-”

He had a point - why had he continued to sleep with Sebastian? It didn’t make him feel good, and Sebastian wasn’t even that good looking.

“Just … get. OUT!” Blaine hissed through gritted teeth.

“I’m leaving, you ungrateful little bastard! I was good to you, gave you things he didn’t.” snapped Sebastian.

“The only thing you were good for was ruining my marriage!” screamed Blaine as Sebastian stormed out, slamming the door as he went.

When Sebastian left Blaine collapsed to his knees and broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. It had been an exhausting day so he decided to shut off the TV and got into some PJs. He glanced at the bed and shook his head - he still couldn’t sleep there. He walked to the bathroom, saddened by the lack of Kurt’s products in there. He finished cleaning up, walked to the living room and settled down. He looked at the clock, which displayed 21:43. He set his alarm, lay his head on his pillow and sobbed gently into it at the lack of warmth beside him, as well as the pained look he saw on Kurt’s face every time he closed his eyes. He fell asleep crying over what he’d lost for a stupid mistake … he just hoped he hadn’t lost it for good.