Kurt woke up feeling a pang of regret, he felt guilty for yelling at Blaine yesterday. All Kurt wanted was the whole truth; there was more than just the threat of the ‘no-sex-in-the-workplace’ policy. Kurt deserved to know what the real reason was, after what Blaine had done, that was the very least Kurt deserved.

He pulled himself out of bed and trudged to the kitchen where he found Blaine attempting to make breakfast. Blaine had flour in his hair and tomato juice on his cheek. Kurt stifled a giggle … Blaine was so adorable, and it reminded him of why he fell in love with him in the first place.

Kurt's laughter must have be louder than he thought because Blaine turned his attention from the cooking and looked at him. Kurt was as beautiful as always- the golden morning light shone in from the window and hit him perfectly, highlighting his hair and making streaks of bronze flicker through it.

“Oh, Kurt!” He said, sounding surprised “You're up. I was trying to make you breakfast.” a cute blush flared across his cheeks.

“I can see that.” said Kurt laughing slightly again, “But why?

“To apologise.” Blaine replied quietly, looking down at his feet.

“What for?”

“For making you mad.”

“I'm the one that should apologise … I shouldn't have yelled. You were telling the truth, but I can't help feeling here's something more ...”

“Oh.” said Blaine. Yes, there was something more, but that something would break Kurt’s heart.

“I'm sorry ...”

“Please don’t do that; I broke your heart ... I made you get defensive like that. I've lied to you and now you don't know if you can trust me – I totally understand.”

“But …” said Kurt, edging into the kitchen, “there is something more, isn't there?

Blaine stayed silent. If he said that there was, Kurt would make him tell, wouldn't he? But if he said there wasn't, he'd be lying.

After a long uncomfortable silence Kurt decided to break it, knowing Blaine was panicking over whether he'd make him confess the reason. He would never push Blaine into anything, no matter how potentially heart-breaking that thing might be. He never made Blaine tell him anything he didn’t want to.

“If there is, I won't make you tell me. I'll just wish that you would ... to see if it's something I can work on.” He fiddled with the buttons on his pyjama top.

'it's nothing you can work on, Kurt' Blaine thought.

“There is something ... I’m just not sure how to explain it.” and there he went lying again ... it's not hard to say. 'Kurt, I slept Sebastian to try something ... someone new.'

“Oh, okay.” Kurt murmured, feeling a little like he'd been stabbed in the heart. There was something Blaine wasn't telling him, and Blaine used to tell him everything ... at least that's what he thought until he’d walked in on them.
“I’m sorry, Kurt.” said Blaine, glancing down at his feet as smoke began rising from the pan.

“Shit, Blaine - you're burning the pancakes!” Kurt screeched as he ran over to shut off the hob, the smoke alarm bursting into life on the wall.

“Jesus … I'm a hopeless cook.” Blaine blushed.

Kurt smiled. Although he was mad at Blaine, he couldn't help thinking how adorable he was, and how cute he was when he blushed.

“You'll learn,” Kurt said with a pause “... eventually.”

Kurt eventually managed to salvage the lovely breakfast Blaine was cooking. The two men chatted politely; it felt oddly normal, even after all that had happened. They dressed; Blaine didn't notice the snow falling steadily outside.

“Hey, mister …” Kurt smiled when they met again by the door. “You're not going out like that – it’s thirty degrees out and snowing.”

Kurt picked up Blaine’s favourite pale-blue woollen scarf and his own fluffy hat. He tied the scarf around Blaine’s neck and shoved the hat precariously onto his head.

“Thanks Mom.” Blaine droned sarcastically, “But I can't wear this hat - it's your favourite.”

“But it looks adorable on you.” said Kurt, grinning.

Blaine smiled weakly. Kurt lightly pulled the scarf, bringing him closer, and pressed his lips to Blaine’s in a soft chaste kiss, instantly wanting, needing more, wanting to deepen the kiss … but with regret, he pulled away.

“Have a good day at work, darling.” He sighed breathlessly.

“You too, sweetie.” Blaine smiled, leaning in for another kiss, but Kurt turned his head so Blaine’s lips landed on his cheek.

“If we're going to kiss, it's on my terms, OK?” He said quietly.

Blaine sadly picked up his gloves and keys and left the apartment, giving Kurt a lingering look through his eyelashes; he saw sadness reflected in Kurt’s eyes - the sadness that mourned their broken marriage. It was decided. Wednesday had to be perfect, it had to show Kurt how much he still cared. Blaine spent the entire walk to work thinking about perfect ways to show Kurt how much he meant to him.

Blaine entered his office with a forced smile on his face; this smile was so convincing it could fool everyone, except Kurt and Kelsey. Kelsey was stood chatting to Darren as Blaine entered; she took one look at him and immediately knew there was something wrong - that something must have happened with him and Kurt and that it was troubling him.

“Morning, Blainers!” She chimed.

“Hey, you.” Blaine grinned, feigning happiness.

“Your office. Now.” Kelsey demanded, seeing straight through Blaine’s armour.

Blaine was confused - usually he could fool anyone with his fake smile, but he wandered to his office anyway, wondering what Kelsey needed to talk to him about. Maybe she and Darren were having problems.

“Spill!” She said as soon as the door was closed. “What's happened?”

“Nothing.” Blaine lied.

Kelsey glared at him.

“Fine! Kurt and I had a fight last night and I’ve realised why I slept with Sebastian.” Blaine blurted.

“Oh, honey - what did you and Kurt fight about?”

“Well, at Rachel’s yesterday he looked really sad so I sang to him …” Blaine began, fighting back tears, “I sang him the song he sang to me at our wedding, when we shared our first dance. But he got really upset, reminding me that I broke the vows I made that day … and then he asked why I slept with Sebastian. Then like an idiot I told him about the no-sex-in-the-workplace thing we have here, and he - he yelled. He didn’t believe me at first … he was mad. Then this morning he said that he didn’t believe that that was the only reason … and it isn’t … I just don’t know how to tell him without breaking his heart.”

“But honey, no matter what it is or how you tell him, you know you’ll break his heart. What is the reason?”

Blaine shifted uncomfortably: he didn’t even want to tell Kurt the reason and he definitely couldn’t tell Kelsey before he told Kurt.

“I … I don’t want to say.” He said after a long silence. “I can’t tell you before I tell Kurt - that’s just not fair on him … none of this is fair on him.”

“Okay honey, I understand.” Kelsey nodded sombrely. It hurt to see her friend so depressed like this. Blaine was usually the positive energy in the office, the one everyone went to when they needed to cheer up. It was painful to see him upset - like he just wasn’t Blaine any more.

“What’s that look for?” Blaine asked, staring at Kelsey and trying to read her features.

“No reason.”

Blaine stared pointedly and raised his eyebrows.

“Okay, fine … you just … I mean, you don’t … well, you don’t look yourself Blaine.”

“Well, I can’t be myself because I’m not, you see … I’m this other guy who broke his husband’s heart, slept with someone else … without Kurt, I - I don’t sleep very well …” He hung his head.

“Oh, Blaine.” she sighed, walking over to give her small, dejected friend a hug.

“Thanks, sweetie.” Blaine said, his voice muffled in Kelsey’s hair. “I just … I have to make Wednesday perfect.”

She pulled away slightly. “Wednesday?”

Blaine nodded, a new light shining in his eyes. “It’s mine and Kurt's four-year anniversary. I have to prove to him that I still love him - that he still means the world to me.”

“Aww, Blaine - that’s really sweet.”

He smiled shyly. “Thanks. Help me plan? This needs to go off without a hitch.”

“Sure.”

Blaine and Kelsey spent all day planning; Blaine booked a table at The Modern, the exclusive restaurant at The Museum of Modern Art, followed by a midnight champagne tour of the museum. After the tour, Blaine planned on taking Kurt on a quiet walk through Central Park. He’d called his favourite florist and ordered one hundred red roses to be delivered to Kurt's office on Wednesday, as well as a small corsage and a small bunch of lilies to give to him tonight. Finally he’d called Tiffany’s and purchased the cufflinks Kurt had been wanting for months.

“Shit.” muttered Blaine.

“What is it?” asked Kelsey, “What you’ve planned is perfect.”

She turned to look at Blaine; he was holding a file emblazoned with a bright pink post-it.

“It’s the ‘When a Marriage Breaks' article … Jordan’s printing it in this week’s issue. Kurt is going to kill me … it’s gonna make everything worse.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“I wrote about our personal life. I talked about what happens when your marriage breaks down … using my cheating as the main example.”

“Oh.” said Kelsey quietly. “Well, maybe we can convince Jordan not to run it …”

“I tried that, when he called me to talk about it. He loves the story - says it will sell papers. He’s definitely running it.”

~~~

Meanwhile

When the door closed behind Blaine, tears started to fall down Kurt cheeks. Blaine was hiding something, hiding the real reason he slept with Sebastian. Kurt hated this … he hated feeling so distant from Blaine, but on the other hand the situation meant he didn't want to be near Blaine. It was preventing him from being close to him - like he wanted to be, so much.

He dried his tears and wrapped up warm, picking up his Filofax before heading out to the office. As he walked he couldn't stop thinking about what might happen on Wednesday ...

“Hi Kurt.” Lotti chimed as Kurt entered the office.

“Um … hi.” Kurt replied, trying to hide the sadness in his eyes, but Lotti saw straight through his shield.

“Honeybun, what's wrong?” she asked, opening her arms to give Kurt a hug.

He walked towards her and fell in to her embrace, forcing the tears back, willing them not to fall until he was safely in the bathroom.

“It’s just getting so hard staying away from Blaine ... you know, physically. It's so frustrating - my head is telling me one thing, my heart another - and don’t even get me started on my genitalia!”

Lotti gave a soft, affectionate laugh. “I know honey, I know ... it will be hard, but it will get better. This is you and Blaine we're talking about – you guys are made for each other...”

“I thought we were ... I'm not too sure anymore. It's like I don't know who he is now ... he's cheating, lying, going to gay bars - that's not my Blaine.”

“You are made for each other though, sweetie. It will take time for things to get back to how they were ... but it’s going to be painful and probably far from easy.”

“What if it doesn't go back?” Kurt snapped. “What if we can never go back?! What if this never gets easier … this could be the end! He's hiding things, hiding the real reason ...”

“How do you know he is?” Lotti asked, forgiving Kurt’s tone despite feeling slightly hurt.

“There’s obviously something more than just a threat ... he told me there was more this morning. Something he didn't know him to tell me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Look sweetie, I - I'm gonna go to my desk now ... need to phone the marriage counsellor and cancel Wednesday’s reservations.”

“Wednesday’s reserva- oh yeah, it's your four year anniversary ...”

“Yeah. So, I'll see you … um … later, maybe.” Kurt muttered, running off in the opposite direction to his cubicle. He entered the bathroom, locked himself in a stall and slid to the floor in tears.

What if this never got better or easier? What if he could never forgive Blaine, or trust him ever again? He concluded that sitting in a toilet stall crying was not the best way to handle the situation. So he dried his tears, walked back to his desk, dug out the marriage counsellor’s number and quickly dialled.

“Good morning, Mrs Sarah Lopez's office - Chloe speaking, how may I help you?” A receptionist chimed.

“Uh - good morning. I – uh … me and my husband ... we, um … we need counselling .“

“Okay, names?” She said, sounding bored.

“Kurt and Blaine Anderson”

“Contact number?”

“(213)-629-0701”

“Okay, Mrs Lopez will give you a call to arrange your appointment. Thank you for calling - have a nice day!”

Kurt went back to designing the new ‘fearless’ fashion outfits. The day passed quite quickly, but it was hard nonetheless. Harriet rejected his fall line sketches, and he couldn't even concentrate on his new compositions. Several times he found himself locked in the toilet, sobbing.

~~~

Kurt came home to find Blaine in the kitchen cooking again, this time he was attempting chicken and bacon Alfredo.

“Wow, Blaine - something smells great.” said Kurt, his eyelashes still matted from the tears he’d cried earlier in the day.

Blaine nodded with a bashful smile. “I thought seeing as I failed in making breakfast, maybe dinner would go a little better.”

“Well, it looks amazing.”

“Thanks …”

Kurt went to wash up and when he returned, Blaine was dishing up the meal. He’d set the table beautifully, with candles and their immaculate wedding china.

“This looks so beautiful, Blaine.” Kurt said breathlessly. Blaine walked slowly to the cupboard and pulled out the small bunch of lilies he’d chosen for Kurt.

“Oh, they’re lovely …” He smiled sadly, “But …”

Kurt looked at his feet. Blaine was trying to win him back, and he couldn’t help but find it insanely sweet. Kurt could feel himself slowly falling for Blaine all over again. It felt nice and familiar, but at the same time it was painful … it reminded him that Blaine had cheated, that Blaine wasn’t as in love as he was before - a least, it didn’t feel like it when Kurt had seen them together.

“But what?” asked Blaine, panic evident in his voice.

“But …” Kurt stared at Blaine's face, deep into his eyes. He sighed, “But nothing … thank you Blaine, they are beautiful.”

“You’re welcome.” Blaine said, the worry still evident in his voice.

The two of them sat down and ate. They talked about their days, and as they neared the end of dinner the phone rang. Kurt answered.

“Hello – may I speak with a Mr Kurt Anderson?”

“This is he.”

“It’s Chloe from Mrs Lopez’s office.”

“Oh, okay - hi … so when will it start?”

“We have an opening Thursday at four thirty.”

“Yeah, okay – that will be great.” said Kurt, “Thank you.”

“Who was that?” Blaine asked as Kurt placed the phone back in its charger.

“It was Chloe from the marriage counsellor’s office … we have an appointment on Thursday afternoon - four thirty.”

“Oh, so you … you called?”

“Yes, Blaine - we need it … we obviously have some communication issues.”

“Oh, um yeah … I guess.” Blaine glanced down at his feet.

“We do, Blaine … you were upset and you didn’t talk to me. You should have, and you didn’t.” Kurt said, once again fighting back tears. “Look, I think I’m gonna go get ready for bed. It’s … been a long day.”

“Yeah, okay.” Blaine nodded as Kurt got up to leave. “Oh, and Kurt …” He turned, “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

The two boys changed for bed, but neither could sleep. Blaine was worried about the article and if Kurt would ever trust him again or if they could ever go back to how they were. Kurt was sat reflecting on his day. He was devastated that Harriet didn’t like his sketches, as he was so proud of them … he just wanted a hug. He wanted to be able to sink into the arms that once held safety and comfort. He stole himself and walked to Blaine's room, knocking gently.

“Blaine? Can I join you?” He said feebly as he stood in the door way. “I could really use a hug.”