"Hey Kurt..." Blaine said without turning around, he'd instantly recognised it... In the end there was only one person I could be. Only one person it could ever be now.

Kurt walked over and sat next to him, gently putting an arm around his shoulders. Blaine lent against him, resting his head on his shoulder. Kurt held him close, trying not to enjoy the other man's proximity to him, the smell of his cologne, and the warmth of his body against his. Kurt tried not to think about the times when he'd had Blaine's body pressed against his own, solid and sweaty and altogether too much to handle. He tried to forget lust blown pupils, flushed cheeks and the tug of fingers in his hair. He tried to forget what it was like to kiss those lips... he tried. But he couldn't.

Blaine equally struggled to forget those nights, Kurt's kisses on his body, he strong hands gripping his hips. Blaine tried to forget how Kurt could make him fall apart; he tried to forget hands roaming, cheeks flushing. He wished he could forget how Kurt's and his bodies fit together, moving harmoniously. He wanted to just be over Kurt... It made him being engaged hurt so much more not to be.

"Thank you for coming Kurt" said Blaine softly, Grateful that Kurt had shown up.

"Of course Blaine..."

"How... How did you know?"

"Well, Tobias called me... he wondered where you had gone..." said Kurt, softly "He was going to surprise you at work...he was really worried"

"Shit... yeah" said Blaine feeling guilty "I'm terrible... I'm really, really terrible... I made him worry...he already worries enough"

"No... You're not, Blaine. It's okay... I realised where you'd be... I told him that you were okay... and that I'd bring you home"

"But I'm not... I'm not okay Kurt! I'm not!" Said Blaine, he thought to himself 'I haven't been okay for a while'.

"I miss him... now more than ever..."Blaine continued "he was my only supportive family member... the only one who accepted me from the start... He was my brother."

"I know Bee. I know" said Kurt running his hand up over Blaine's bicep, noticing how big they'd gotten.

The two men sat for a while in silence, Blaine loving being held by Kurt, feeling safe again.

"I guess we should go home... Tobias will be worried about me...I should tell him where I've been..."

"Yeah... come Let's go"

The two men headed home.

~~~

Blaine entered his apartment to find Tobias waiting for him on the couch; He looked tired, his eyelashes clumped as though he'd been crying. Blaine suddenly felt a pang of guilt after enjoying Kurt's company a little too much. Tobias turned as Blaine entered; a huge smile filled his face.

"Blaine! You're Okay!" He exclaimed, running towards him

"I guess" said Blaine wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, picking him up and spinning him.

"Where-Where were you?" He said as he dotted kisses all over Blaine's face.

Blaine looked down sadly and gathered every ounce of confidence and courage he had. Though it had been three years, it was still a pretty raw topic for Blaine.

"My..." Blaine took a deep breath "My brother passed away three years ago... I just needed to be with my parents... so I went to Lima. I didn't think, I'm sorry" Blaine broke down into sobs "I should have told you... I wasn't thinking... I just went and I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I'm so, so, so sorry"

"Baby..." said Tobias, pulling him closer, "Shush, Shush, Its okay.... It's okay.... I'm just glad you're alright. I can't even tell you the thoughts that sprung to mind when I didn't know where you were..." Tobias brushed the tears off Blaine's cheek.

"I'm sorry darling; I should have told you where I was... I'm really sorry"

"Shush" He said pressing his lips to Blaine's "It's alright... You're here. You're alive. You're unharmed. I'm happy... Let's just order take out and watch some cheesy movies, Okay?"

Blaine nodded. "That sounds fantastic"

The two men ordered pizza and watched some movies and snuggled on Blaine's couch.

~~~

Kurt entered his apartment, closing the door behind him. He still worried about Blaine, he knew he'd be safe as long as he was with Tobias, but it didn't stop him from worrying. It was so late that Kurt didn't expect Ryan to be awake, so he grabbed some PJ bottoms off the radiator made towards the spare room. He was halfway across the living room when he saw Ryan sat on the couch; he stood up and glared at Kurt.

"You're back late!" he said through gritted teeth

"Well that's how long it takes to fly to Lima and back!" Kurt retorted.

"You shouldn't have gone! After all he did, after how much he hurt you! You still go running every time he has a little problem, he's not yours to worry about anymore! He has a boyfriend to do that now." he screamed

"Just because he hurt me I'm not allowed to help my best friend?" said Kurt, dumbfounded "Things have happened to that man, things you wouldn't believe... Terrible things... there are things that have happened which he won't tell me, and he always trusted me and told me everything-"

"Except when he cheated on you" Ryan interjected.

"And he can't tell me something..." Kurt continued ignoring Ryan's comment. "And it clearly distresses him, He's acting different, he seems frightened and withdrawn, and that's not how I knew Blaine to be. So are you telling me that I can't worry about my friend who, on the day I first met him, was going to commit suicide? Are you telling me that I can't talk the man who helped me survive high-school, the man whom helped me overcome self-harm and depression? Are you fucking serious. Yes, yes okay he did a bad thing and hurt me. But he's my friend; he'll always be my friend, because he was there for me when no-one else was" Kurt was on the brink of tears at this point, his voice cracking

Ryan stared at Kurt blankly, processing the conversation. He hadn't expected this turn... He hadn't realised all this about Blaine. He knew all about Kurt's past and it broke his heart, he'd never paid much thought to Blaine's. But if had been like his it cannot have been pleasant.

"But when he wasn't... I was" said Ryan softly

"Yeah... I know... I know... but he needed me today... Baby... you don't know how he can get around this time of year... when I heard he was missing..." Kurt shook his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts, "He's my best friend. I'm sorry; I needed to be with him today. He needed me there."

"No..."said Ryan, feeling guilty "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have yelled..."

"Can we just forget this fight happened?" said Kurt "Please?"

"I'd like that... I Love you"

"I Love You More" said Kurt

Ryan smiled and kissed him softly. Kurt sank a little; he'd really hoped Ryan would have said 'I love you most'... But Ryan wasn't that kind of guy, and Kurt knew that and loved him regardless. He really missed the romance side of things sometimes. The two men when to bed, they slept soundly with Kurt curled into Ryan, his head on his chest.

~~~
The Next Day

Ryan got up early out of bed and went to make Kurt's breakfast; he brought to him in bed smiling. He'd made Kurt's favourite, French toast, maple syrup and Bacon. He carried it in on a tray a glass of orange juice, and a vase with a single pink Gerber Daisy.

"Morning sunshine" said Ryan, beaming.

"Mmmm morning, love" said Kurt waking slowly, "What's this in aid of"

"Apologies... for last night"

"Baby... you don't have to keep apologising"

"But I want to... I've been an asshole"

"Its fine, baby" said Kurt kissing him softly "It okay... but thank you for breakfast it smells amazing"

"You're welcome.... Hey, I've been thinking, maybe we should double with Blaine and Tobias. I mean, Blaine obviously means a lot to you and... well... I'll try... for you I'll try to be friends with him"

"You don't have to..."

"But I want to"

"I call them later.... I was gonna check on him anyway"

Kurt sat and ate his breakfast, the two men then showered and dressed and spent the day sprawled on the couch. Later that day Kurt called Blaine.

"Hey Bee." He said cheerily.

"Hi Kurt" said Blaine an evident smile in his voice

"How ya doing?"

"I'm okay... T is being really nice to me... I don't really deserve it after scaring him like that"

"It wasn't your fault... you weren't in the right frame of mind."

"I could have called or texted or left a note..."

"Bee... I'm sure he doesn't think badly of you..." Kurt reassured

"I guess... Anyway, how are you?"

"I'm good thanks. Hey... Ryan had a thought... would you guys like to double with us?"

"I'd have to talk to T but I don't see why not... is he sure?"

Kurt looked to Ryan, and Ryan grinned back.

"Yes, he's sure"

"Okay... I'll talk to T and get back to you?"

"Okay... see you round Bee; We're still on for Dance lessons on Thursday right"

"Yup of course. Bye Kurt"

"Bye Blaine"

Later that evening Blaine texted Kurt.

Hey Kurt, We're in for the double. On Thursday T and I were going to a Karaoke Bar if you'd like to join us after Dance lessons- B xx

We'd love to, Bee. We can Meet T at the bar after- K+R x

It's a (Double) Date ;) –B +T x

NERD! Night Blaine, See you Thursday- K x

You love me really, as a friend I mean. Goodnight Kurt- B x

Yeah.. I do don't i? go knows why ;) Goodnight Blaine- K x

~~~
Two Days later

Kurt entered the dance studio and saw Blaine stood there, waiting. His mind was cast back to when he and Blaine had taken their dance lessons for their wedding. He'd loved them, he loved how Blaine held him so close, how he could feel Blaine's heart beat in his chest. He loved how Blaine, buried his face in his neck, how even when they'd stopped he still felt like they were spinning, how they felt like the only two people in the world.

"Hey Kurt, um, so," said Blaine, smiling at him "What's the song you guys have chosen?"

"Um, I'll Be by Edwin McCain" said Kurt, handing Blaine his Ipod.

Blaine smiled softly.

"Good choice... he has good taste..." said Blaine, hating that he was complimenting Ryan but he loved that he made Kurt happy.

"Um, I chose it... he has terrible taste in music. Yours was much better" Kurt admitted.

"You always had good taste Kurt." said Blaine, blushing slightly. "Anyway dance lessons..."

"yeah... dancing" said Kurt, tearing his gaze away from Blaine's lips

Blaine found the track and put it on. He walked over to Kurt and offered his hand, Kurt took it and smiled. Blaine pulled Kurt close and looked up in to Kurt's eyes. Blaine led Kurt followed as they waltzed around the room. Blaine began to sing along softly to the track as they danced.

The strands in your eyes that colour them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together ,

Blaine spun Kurt out and rolled him back towards him, keeping his eyes locked on his best friend's, they sparkled and glittered as he stared straight back at Kurt. He could feel himself starting to fall for Kurt again; Kurt looked so happy, so perfect. Blaine knew he'd only end up hurting himself. Kurt was taken... not only taken but engaged, and Blaine himself had a boyfriend. He'd had his chance with Kurt and blown it he could only hope that he could control his feelings, be happy for Kurt...

Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my living proof.
My love is alive and not dead.
Tell me that we belong together.
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.
I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

Blaine lifted and spun Kurt as the chorus started again, Kurt felt lighter than air as Blaine him lifted Kurt placed his hands on Blaine's shoulders, Blaine lowered Kurt and they continued to dance. Kurt knew that Ryan would never be able to make that lift but he was too caught up in the moment feeling so close to Blaine, so happy, so nostalgic that he didn't care. He loved feeling this close to Blaine, but he shouldn't... he wasn't Blaine's anymore he was Ryan's. Ryan was the one supposed to make Kurt feel this way and he did... Just not in the same way, with the same amount of ease as Blaine did.

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your...
I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

The greatest fan of your life.
...greatest fan of your life.

When the song came to an end, Kurt stared in Blaine's eyes, Blaine looking straight back in to Kurt's. Blaine's eyes flicked To Kurt's lips and back up to his eyes, he wanted to lean in and kiss him, he wanted to kiss Kurt and never stop, he wanted to tell Kurt that he still loved him.

"You're a good dancer Kurt I don't know why you thought you needed lessons" said Blaine, stepping away quickly, busying himself by looking at his feet.

"Um, well... they we're more for Ryan, but as you can see he didn't turn up..." said Kurt, looking sadly at the ground... "He couldn't get out of work.. he had some spreads he needed to finish"

"No, he didn't want to have dancing lessons from me... did he, Kurt? Don't pussyfoot around the matter your fianc� hates me... he doesn't like how I treated you and he doesn't like that we're friends now... " said Blaine matter-of-factly.

"No... Blaine, Its not like that... He wanted to do the double date tonight" said Kurt twiddling his thumbs

"Kurt, it is... and it's okay... It's fine..."

"No its not, hes's changed. He wants to get to know you... for me. He knows how much you mean to me, he knows that I can't lose you... not again ... You're my best friend... and I'd really like it if you'd be my best man"

"Really?"

"I need my best friend up there with me."

"You really want this?"

"Yes... please"

"Then okay... I'll be your best man" Blaine smiled, but his heart ached slightly... he didn't know if he could watch Kurt re-marry.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... I'll be there for you" said Blaine. "and I'll throw you the best stag do"

"I bet you will"

They packed up their stuff and left the studio both boys grinning, looking forward to the night ahead.

"Kurt?" Blaine said as they left the dance studio.

"Yes, Bee" Said Kurt smiling

"I need to tell you something..."He said.

Blaine was surprised at how calm he felt, like knowing he was going to confide the horrors of that night in Kurt was lifting a weight of his chest. It was like when they were in high-school Blaine had nightmares, very frequently about the night he came out or the Sadie Hawkins dance, he always felt better once he'd told Kurt and Kurt had reminded him he was safe.

"Okay... " said Kurt slowly, happy that Blaine was going to open up to him.

"Lets go somewhere quiet? We've got a couple of hours until we're meeting T and Ryan at the bar"

"Okay" Kurt smiled as they walked to the nearest caf�

The two men walked in silence, Kurt ordered the coffees and Blaine found a nice secluded table at the back and tried to figure out how to tell him. The sat sipping their coffee as Blaine began to tell Kurt about that night. Blaine saw the horror in Kurt's face, the worry, the sadness and worst of all the pity.

"Oh Blaine," Said Kurt "I had no idea"

"Its okay..." said Blaine, keeping himself together.

Kurt was horrified; He couldn't believe something so terrible had happened to his best friend. He couldn't imagine what Blaine has gone through... He knew how this kind of thing affected Blaine. He felt awful about how he basically cut Blaine out after the divorce, I wished he'd been there to help Blaine through that, he understood now how cautious Blaine was, how quiet, How much he'd changed.

"I'm sorry" said Kurt after a few moments of silence

"Why? What do you have to be sorry for? You weren't one of the guys who attacked me"

"I wasn't there..."

"You didn't have to be."

"But I should have been... you needed me and I wasn't there"

"And I hurt you... I cheated... I don't even deserve your friendship... let alone your sympathy" said Blaine looking down at his lap, self-hatred washing over him as he remembered how he'd betrayed the one person who knew him most.

"Blaine... You need to stop beating yourself up over what happened. It was two years ago now... Yes it hurt. But I forgive you... Not fully, there was nothing right about what you did...But I do forgive you"

"Thank you Kurt, but I still feel awful... I ruined everything..."

"But we're friends again now... and that's what matters" said Kurt, smiling softly

"Yeah..." said Blaine, wanting so badly to tell Kurt that he still loved him, but he couldn't they were both taken.

Ryan made Kurt so happy. Blaine couldn't begrudge him that, not after what he'd done. So he hid his feelings hoping that one day they'd disappear.