Wednesday 8th December 2010, 07:01

Dear Journal,

He’s transferring today -TODAY! It will be official at noon. Oh god, what if his first day is like mine? He might transfer back. I couldn’t go back- not with those guys. But he could return. He’s also auditioning for The Warblers at lunch … I just hope Wes and David aren’t mean to him, like they are with me. He’s a great singer so he should get in no problem. I’m more worried about Wes and David using him like they do me, and using him for his voice. SHIT … shit, shit I have a zit, my life is over! I have a zit … a fucking zit. What am I going to do? It’s all red and pussy - Kurt can’t see me like this. Maybe Melanie left some make-up or something when she stayed at the weekend … or would that freak him out? Oh, there’s his car pulling up outside … gotta go.

Wednesday 8th December 2010, 16:17

Dear Journal,

He DOES look good in a Blazer, and the trousers make his ass look … WOW! I never realised how restricting these trousers are. How am I going to be able to concentrate when he’s in all my classes?! Thank god he didn’t notice my zit (I used some of Melanie’s concealer … sometimes it pays to have a straight roommate!) or my obvious boner. His Warbler audition went so well - he sang ‘You Could Be Happy’ by Snow Patrol. He was A-MA-ZING, and he showed so much emotion when he sang … it was beautiful to watch. But the weirdest thing happened after his audition - Wes spoke nicely to me and thanked me, he thanked me for bringing Kurt to The Warblers. When Kurt got Pavarotti, he made a little joke … it was quite funny. I liked it, but no-one else seemed to which was a shame. It’s going to take a little while for him to get used to the council and the way The Warblers work, like it did me, but soon he’ll know to just go along with everything Wes and David say. But because he was so good they offered him the chance to audition for a solo for sectionals. Kurt loved that - his eyes got all sparkly and pretty when I told him. He’s already brainstorming ideas. He’ll nail whatever song he sings. He’s going to ask his friend Rachel for help about the song selection, and a bit of rehearsing. He said he wanted it to be a surprise. Now I have until tomorrow to get rid of this fucking zit.

Thursday 9th December 2010, 18:54

Dear Journal,

He killed his audition today … he looked so beautiful stood next to that window. The light hit him perfectly, highlighting his hair, making his eyes sparkle and his face glow. It really sucked to have to tell him he didn’t get it … he looked so heartbroken. I hope I never have to see that look in his eyes again … it physically hurt to see that and to know I did that … but to cheer him up afterwards I took him to the Lima Bean for coffee and we just talked … about stuff… anything, his first few days at Dalton, sectionals. It’s so easy to talk to him, I feel like I could tell him anything… like maybe I could tell him everything.

Saturday 11th December 2010, 08:43

Dear Journal,

SECTIONALS TODAY! I’m really excited, but rather nervous. This is our first competition … what if I mess up? Like, what if I forget the lyrics or … or I forget how to sing or worse?! Oh, Kurt just called saying he’ll be 10 minutes, and told me not to panic and that I’ll be amazing … he knows me so well. He always knows just what to say to me. I better go - Wes will freak out if I’m not down in Warbler Hall soon.

Saturday 11th December 2010, 16:54

Dear Journal,

WE WON, WE WON, WE WON! Okay, so we drew with New Directions, Kurt's old glee club, but still. Oh my god, it was amazing! I had so much fun, more than I ever had before. I think it was because Kurt was there, stood behind me. It was so nice to glance back and see his smile, his eyes - it seemed to dissipate my nerves. It was the best I’ve sung since Teenage Dream … there’s something about Kurt that makes me want to impress him, prove I’m good enough for him - I’m not, but I want to be. He looked happy watching his old glee club, but there was a glimmer of sadness. I think he misses them, and that he wished he was up there with them. They did look like they were having fun, I must admit. He seemed a bit down despite our win, so I took him out for coffee to cheer him up a little. He seemed to enjoy it … oh, got to go - Kurt wants me in Warbler Hall. It sounds urgent … I hope he’s okay.

Saturday 11th December 2010, 18:02

Dear Journal,

He’s too freaking adorable. He was worried about Pavarotti … he was afraid he was sick or something. It was so cute, he’s always cute… so, so cute - the way he flips his hair, how he’s always pristinely dressed, the way he always has some kind of brooch or something to brighten up his uniform - he’s just adorable. All I wanted to do when we were in Warbler Hall was kiss him, and never stop, ever. I couldn’t do that though … not after what Karofsky did to him. I don’t want to frighten him, and I definitely don’t want him to be scared of me, or lose him as a friend … I’ll just keep hiding my feelings for a while longer… maybe one day I’ll tell him.