Dear Journal,

Shit, shit, shit. Why did I invite him over to hang out? The dorm’s a mess, and a million other things could go wrong - James could come back early with Melanie, or … or - I think maybe I should call him and cancel. I mean, I bet he doesn’t even really like me … he probably was just being nice and polite, letting me take him out for lunch. I should cancel - why would he want to come? Oh crap, the door. That will be him. Shit.

Tuesday 23rd November 2010, 21:39

Dear Journal,

Okay, I’m seriously glad I didn’t cancel - he’s so, so, pretty and so much fun. We talked about Disney and our favourite musicals for hours. He’s so perfect. He’s an incredible singer … his range is to die for… its just - amazing. We sang ‘I’ll Cover You’ from RENT - that’s his favourite musical. Actually, James’ brother Elliott is playing Rodger in the community playhouse’s production. I’ll talk to James about maybe getting us some tickets, Kurt would love that. I’m taking him, it will make him smile. He’s really, really pretty when he smiles. Maybe it will take his mind off Karofsky, and the harassment.

Thursday 25th November 2010, 23:49

Dear Journal,

This. Was. The. Best. Night. Ever! We had so much fun. We sang along to all the songs and then when we left we sang ‘Out Tonight’ at the top of our lungs. He’s amazing … why is he friends with me? I’m nothing special … but he wants me to go out with him and his best friend next Monday. Is that a date thing or a friend thing? I’ll have to wait and see, I guess.

Monday 29th November 2010, 22:37

Dear Journal,

Tonight was so cool … me and Kurt have so much in common. His favourite 2010 Vogue cover is Marion Cotillard, just like mine, and he’s read Patti Lupone’s new book. And his views on Prop 8 and his arguments against it are so inspirational. I’ve really started to fall for him, but I get the feeling his friend didn’t like me, like she thought I’m not good enough for him - which I’m not. But she wouldn’t really talk to me either, even when I tried to get her involved. I guess I’m no stranger to people not liking me. At least the ‘date’ with Kurt cheered me up some. Wes yelled at me for hanging out with Kurt, just because he’s in a rival show choir … and then Sebastian started again and this time Thad joined in and I’d always thought he was nice - I guess I was wrong. I’m always wrong.

Tuesday 30th November 2010, 19:36

Dear Journal,

Kurt just called me, he called me. He sounded really upset when I answered. It turns out that that guy who’s been harassing him threatened to kill him if he told anyone else about the kiss. Kurt's really shaken up about it. He hasn’t told anyone, just me … I don’t know how I can help him. It physically pains me to see him - my best and only (real) friend - hurt in that way. I really just want to take him and hold him and kiss away his pain. What amazes me is that he still seems to be so strong about it. I wish I had his strength, then maybe I could tell him … maybe I’d feel better about myself.