Sept. 25, 2011, 8:23 p.m.
Crawford Country Day Juvenile Detention Center For Troubled Youth: The World
T - Words: 1,927 - Last Updated: Sep 25, 2011 Story: Closed - Chapters: 7/? - Created: Sep 25, 2011 - Updated: Sep 25, 2011 757 0 0 0 0
So that's why he was seated at the end of a rather long table across from Blaine the next day after a whole morning of a useless session with Ms. Mirandi. They were in a private mediation room, which wasn't so private seeing as 4 cameras occupied each corner of the room. Kurt didn't understand the need for the cameras because to the right of him was a wall, if you could classify it as a wall.
It was something out of one of those predictable prison movies Kurt forced himself to sit through for his father. The wall housed a huge mirror that was meant to look ordinary but obviously its purpose was for overlooking the room. Kurt was sure it was a two-way mirror. The center was home for these juveniles but did they think they were completely ignorant?
Kurt rolled his eyes away from the mirror and focused on Blaine. He let his eyes trail boy, taking every intricate detail of his being in. He looked different from the previous day. His hair wasn't gelled, he wore a wrinkled staff shirt and a pair of lose fitting sweatpants. Blaine's outfit was lazily put together he guessed.
He surveyed Blaine's usual gorgeous face next. Except today, Kurt wouldn't call it gorgeous. It didn't look it at all. It looked broken, tired. There were faint bags under his swollen eyes, an indication that Blaine didn't sleep well and probably cried before this meeting. His face was scrunched up in an uncomfortable and pained expression.
With his arm resting on the table and his fist tucked under his chin, he was looking away from Kurt. This intrigued the juvenile as well as puzzled him. Kurt didn't want to be here anymore than Blaine did. So they sat there in silence ever since they were seated 15 minutes ago. The expression 'you could cut the tension with a knife' ran through Kurt's mind and he had enough of it.
"You really need to get over whatever the fuck you're upset about. It's not like you're the one in here or anything." He questioned Blaine, crossing his arms over his chest as he scoffed. Jerking his head away from his hand, he just stared at Kurt. "Why?" The simple three letter word confused Kurt. "Why? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Why?" Preparing his answer, Blaine shrugged. "Why are you acting like this? Why are you being so difficult and stubborn? Why are you just giving up? Why aren't you fighting this?" His voice rose as he spoke but he quickly caught himself. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" He swallowed, that familiar feeling of emotion curling up in his throat as he stared into Kurt's eyes. "Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you want my help? Why didn't you let me be there for you?" His voice lowered to a whisper and he closed his eyes trying to block the stinging sensation of tears forming.
The impact of Blaine's words stung. For the first time in months, Kurt felt something that wasn't anger or hatred. Guilt was running through him. He pitied Blaine, sitting across from him sniffling. Blaine was trying to reach out to him like everyone else was but something here was different. Why was Blaine so affected by this? For whatever that reason was, it was breaking him. It was stupid and a bit heartbreaking.
Kurt placed his hands in front of him on the table. Clasping them together, Kurt shook his head. "What do expect for me to say, Blaine?" Rubbing his palms over his eyes, he shrugged. "The truth would be nice." And with that, Kurt sat back in his uncomfortable chair and gazed at Blaine. "Shit happens, okay? When he…" Kurt didn't want to mention it. He didn't want to bring it up. The only time he did was during the fight and when he was beating the shit out of Karofsky.
So he didn't say it and continued. "It changed me. I wasn't going to let him take that away from me. He took something away from me that was supposed to be cherished and delicate and with someone you want it to be with." His lip started to quiver as he spoke, which scared the living shit out of him because Kurt Hummel, this Kurt Hummel, doesn't cry, ever. "But no. It had to be with that pig. So excuse me if it fucked me up a little."
Blaine sensed Kurt getting upset. He heard it in his voice and he automatically regretted asking him anything. He didn't want to make him upset by reliving old memories and frankly, Blaine didn't want to hear this. Trying to alleviate the situation, he held his hands up in protest. "Kurt you don't-" To Blaine's dismay, Kurt didn't let him finish. "No!" He almost shouted and Blaine's hands fell to rest. Staring intently at Blaine, he pointed at him. "You wanted me to be honest. So now, you're going to sit there, shut the fuck up, and listen. Got it?"
Blaine swallowed harshly at Kurt's demanding tone. It was scary to say the least but Blaine also wasn't going to ignore how sexy he thought it was too. Nodding in cooperation, Kurt continued. "I'm not fighting this, Blaine. I've fought my whole fucking life! I've fought for my mother to stay alive, for my dad's perception on me, for solos, for acceptance, fought for the right for me to walk down a hallway without being shoved or worse because of who I am!" Kurt slammed his fists on the table with a loud bang that made Blaine jump.
He was angry, Blaine understood that. He knew Kurt didn't speak about this, ever. So what if he did a little shouting? All he could do was sit there tight lipped and take Kurt's words in. "I'm so tired, Blaine." He didn't expect the soft and broken tone that came out of Kurt's mouth then. This Kurt was an emotional rollercoaster. "I'm tired of running and ignoring what was happening to me. Thinking it would get better when it only got worse. Now look where things took me." Shocked beyond belief, Kurt started crying. And not the regular quiet sob. This was the heavy, heaving, body shaking break down.
Kurt finally broke down. After everything that happened. After months of being at Crawford Country Day and not talking about things with anyone. Blaine stared at the broken boy and weighed his options. Seeing Kurt like this, it killed him inside. Repeating his own advice of courage like a mantra, he stood up from his chair. As he stood he looked to his left, facing the mirror that overpowered the wall of the room. He threw a shrug to the mirror and whoever was behind it, before he moved. Cautiously, he walked over to Kurt who was still a sobbing mess.
Biting his lower lip, he bent down next to Kurt. Mustering up all of the courage he had left, he placed his hand softly on Kurt's back. The sobs still wracked throughout Kurt's body as Blaine began to rub his back soothingly. "Let it out. It's okay." Blaine's voice snapped Kurt out of his sobs. It was like Kurt didn't even realize Blaine moved. He turned his head and just stared at him for a moment before he stood up. Blaine's hand flew off of Kurt in an instant and he took a step back from Kurt.
He didn't know what was happening until he was hit with a body. Kurt's fists clenched Blaine's shirt, drenching it in sobs. Blaine's arms wrapped around Kurt protectively as he whispered reassuring words to him. "Sh, sh. Oh Kurt, why didn't you just come to me? I would have done something."
Slowly but surely, Kurt came to. His harsh sobs turned into silent tears that trickled down his cheek. Removing himself from Blaine, he wiped at his cheeks. "What could you have done? Drive 2 hours from Dalton and confront him? Tell him to leave me alone? What if he got mad and hurt you? I couldn't forgive myself if something happened to you because of me. What I was going through was my problem. I didn't need to drag you into my mess."
So that's what this was about? Kurt didn't want Blaine to get involved because he cared? Blaine went to disagree with Kurt but he was cut off by the other boy. "It's not like I didn't want to come to you for help. I can't come crying to you for every little thing, Blaine. The first day we met I cried and look at me now." His hands gestured to himself. "Breaking down again. Why would I ask you to help me? We knew each other for what, barely 2 weeks? You already did so much for me just by being there for me. You're here now even after everything horrible that I did."
Kurt shook his head in disbelief as he walked over to the table and sat on the edge of it. "I don't understand why everyone is still trying to help me after what I did. I'm a horrible person, Blaine. A lost cause." He looked down at the floor, too ashamed to look at Blaine. "Kurt, you made a mistake." Blaine ventured over to Kurt, standing right in front of him. "And it's not going to be the first mistake you ever make. What he did to you-" Blaine stuck his finger under Kurt's chin, tilting his head.
Tearful, hurt blue eyes met piercing, truthful hazel ones. "-It wasn't right and if I could go back and stop it from ever happening, I would." The hand under Kurt's chin traveled to his hand then. Blaine continued talking, rubbing small circles on Kurt's hand with his thumb. "I understand it's hard to ask for help sometimes. You've made it through these struggles alone because that's what you're used to. But your family and your friends, they- we want to help you."
Kurt gave a scoff at the word help. "I've tried, Blaine. You know I-" It was Blaine's turn to silence Kurt this time. He pressed a soft fingertip to Kurt's lips. "And even though you think the world has gone out of its way to bite you in the ass and put you through these difficult times, you'll realize that it's the same world that has given you your family and those friends who care so much about you."
There was a sharp knock on the door that disturbed the two boys. Neither of them faltered from their positions as a guard stood at the doorway of the mediation room. "Time's up. Hummel, it's time for night cap." A grimace and a sigh left Kurt as he jumped off the table. Making his way to leave, a hand on his arm halted Kurt. Blaine stepped in front of Kurt, speaking quietly. "Hopefully, you'll come to believe that no matter what happens… somehow the world will protect you, too, Kurt. I'm going to figure something out. I'm going to get you out of here. I promise."
Blaine tentatively laid a single chaste kiss on Kurt's forehead before walking out of the room. Kurt did nothing but stand there in a daze. What had just happened?